"I look inside myself to find my peace"


Parents and The Addict-Child

Parents blame themselves alot of the time when their child has been found out to be using drugs or alcohol. We wonder 'what did we do wrong?'...'didn't we love our child enough?'...'was it the way I lived my life?' Sometimes this can cause a parent so much stress that they begin using just to keep the guilt away.  Of course, that's not the normal reaction, but it does happen. A parent can begin to feel affraid of their own child. But with diligence, honesty, and reaching out for help, a parent can find ways to help their child.

Often when a child is using they isolate themselves, they withdraw from family. From friends who don't use. They begin to lie to their parents. They can even steal from family members, friends, from work, even from strangers. An addict does these things because the greatest fear an addict has is not being able to feed their addiction. Don't get me wrong not all addicts steal, but there is a majority that do things that they would never do when clean and sober. It can become a nightmare for both addict and the parents.

As the addict-child begins sinking into their down fall of addiction, they may overdose themselves, they have seen friends overdose or maybe even die. They begin to justify why they use. The addict-child will convince themselves that they cannot live without their drug of choice. They convince themselves that their addiction makes their lives feel right. But that's just the addiction taking over. The addicts family feels powerless as well. Eventually the addict will lose everything, they could even get arrested, or end up in the hospital. Hitting bottom is the term for this.

What can a parent do?  It's not an easy ride, that's for sure. Once a parent is sure that their child is using, onething a parent can do is NOT become an enabler. Seek help for dealing with addictions that can be utilized and can help a parent cope and deal with this problem. Their are many resources in our communities that can assist in getting your child back on the right track. But be honest about this to yourself, the child, now an addict will probably go kicking and screaming. It may even take several attempts before the addict-child will see the light. But be diligent, don't give up. Their addiction is usually the addict-childs only way of crying out for help.
Note: These resolves can also help adult-addicts get the help they need.

Written by: Sherrie Vitello


BEST High?....really?

When I watched this video, it bought me to tears. Not only did it remind me of how I almost lost my life and my daughters life, I was overwhelmed by the thought that so many others will walk this path unless they learn that it DOES get out of control, you CAN'T keep being a functioning addict, you will LOSE everything that is truly important to you.

For those of you addicted, be it heroin, opiates, meth, xanax, alcohol whatever, STOP and take a really good look at what you're doing to yourself. Know that you can't stay "feelin-right" high forever. It does catch up to you either through, overdosing, getting arrested, losing all your possesions and living on the street. Is that really your ideal lifestyle?......So do something about it NOW!

Ask for help if you're too affaid to start the cycle of getting clean and sober. Check into a Detox Center in your area, alot of them will not charge you. The help is there. If it takes you 3 or 4 times to get it right, then keep trying until you get it right. You can live without the addiction, you can have a better, more productive happier life. The choice is yours, don't use the crutch statement "I have a disease" for addicts, it's a conditioning addiction that you started and you can stop it too.

Don't Compromise Yourself...You Are All You Got!

When we don't know who we are, it's easy to compromise ourselves. When we don't know where we stand on an issue, it's easy to be swayed by a forceful voice. Values may be cloudy in our minds, or we may not be aware of them at all. It's then that we are vulnerable to the persuasion of another.

We are supported in our efforts, and we realize we have friends who don't want us to compromise ourselves-who value our struggle to know and to be true to ourselves. One of lives greatest gifts is discovering we can make decisions that represent us, our inner selves, and those decisions please us.

We all are familiar with the tiny tug of shame that locates itself in our solar plexus. When we "go along" when we give in on a personally important issue, we pay a consequence. We lose a bit of ourselves. Over the years we've lost many bits.  However...we always have a choice.


The Holidays are Among Us

Well everyone the holidays are upon us once again. This year just flew by didn't it?  With the holidays comes some temptations and triggers for alot of us. That eggnog sure looks goods. Party times are everywhere. For those who are working on staying clean and not falling for temptation to our addictions, this post is for you.

At work, with friends, with family...there are moments when we question our sobriety. We may even go as far as to think, "it's the holidays...it's only once a year, why not?"...or sure having "one" drink isn't bad. Even to think, smoking alittle tainted weed won't hurt. Some of us might even be tempted by some friends that will say; "Come on...it's just one line."  Friends we really shouldn't be around in the first place, but sometimes it happens.

This is where everything you know about staying clean/sober will come into action. Whatever you do...don't give into temptation. Don't be fooled by the thought of; "it's only once a year."  What happens when we do fall from grace of sobriety is the "domino effect."  Not to say that some folks can't say "No thanks!" to the occassional invitation to use.   

But for those who are tempted or think about using, you must be strong!  Just as a giant snowball starts out very small, so does our relapse. So have a soda or seltzer with lime, walk away from those who are using drugs at that party. Of course if you do relapse...that doesn't mean you have to stop your recovery all together. You may feel guilty about relapsing but don't fret...you can always reclaim your sobriety again.

Of course that doesn't mean it's ok for you to use once in awhile...it isn't.  The whole concept of getting clean/sober and staying that way is the resolve you want from your recovery. Alot of the time we relapse due to the influences around us. So you might want to consider who you are associated with. In recovery it's wise to stop associating with certain people because they become toxic to our recovery. I call these people 'toxic-friends'. 

Remember...a true friend  would understand that you are cleaning up your act and they won't try to influence you to use. A  true friend   won't use drugs or alcohol when they come around you. You might want to keep that in mind when you are around people you consider friends that are not clean or sober. Of course we as addicts will find ourselves thinking, "Gee...I need a drink to have a good time."  I struggle with this one all the time.

But once you realize that this in only the addiction talking, it helps to get rid of the craving. Get yourself a non alcoholic drink and just let that feeling go, get into the activity or create one. This way you won't have time to just sit there and think about getting high. Have a wonderful holiday everyone!
Enjoy the day.  :)

Written by; Sherrie Vitello
A Wonderful Quote from Celeste Vitello, Author of the Book: Through This Addicts Eyes. " When the pain of getting high is greater than the fear of getting clean, it's time to change."


Keep It Simple

All too ofter, we complicate our lives. We can wonder and worry our way into confusion, obsession or preoccupation, it's called, "what if?"  "should I?"  "what do you think?"  We seldom stop trying to figure out what to do, where to do it, how to meet a challenge, until someone reminds us to "keep it simple."  What we each discover, again and again, is that the solution to any problem becomes apparent when we stop searching for it. The guidance we need for handling any difficulty, great or small, can only come into focus when we remove the barriers to it, and the greatest barrier is our frantic effort to personally solve the problem.

We clutter our minds, we pray for an answer and yet don't become quiet enough, for long enough, to become aware of the direction to go, or the steps to take. And they are always there. Inherent in every problem or challange is its solution. Our greatest lesson in life may be to "keep it simple", to that no problem stands in our way because no solution eludes a quiet, expectant mind.

I have opportunities every day to still my mind, and the messages I need will come quietly. My answers are within me, now.

Quote by; Alice Roosevelt Longworth: "I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

Written by: Sherrie Vitello. Excerpts written by:  Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey


Greeting Pain with Mindfulness

Buddist teachings tell us to greet pain with mindfulness, to notice how the pain moves through many phases and to pay attention to the nuances of constrictions, pulsation, intensity and the diminishing of intensity. In mindfulness, we keep our attention focused on these changes even as we experience them.  We observe the flow of our thoughts, feelings and sensations. We become explorers of our inner world, and we learn a great deal about ourselves.

As we do so, we gain insight into the cause and core of our karmic condition, our spiritual initiations and the lessons we are meant to learn. We grow in humility, endurance and appreciation for little respites and moments of joy. We expand in courage and acceptance of life's ups and downs. When we open our hearts to living peacefully with ourselves and fellow encounters, we develop a calming effect on ourselves and others around us. And above all, we become acutely aware that our consciousness transcends the human condition.  

Whether we are dealing with physical pain, distressing feelings or both, we can train ourselves to repond with peaceful contemplation. We are told to embrace pain with courage. Yet that is a somewhat dismaying thought to many of us. It is a bit like wanting to embrace a porcupine. Who needs it? But it is very true, psychologically and spiritually, that pain opens our heart. Pain melts our hardness of heart, humbles us and quickens our awareness of our higher power(God). Actually, it is because of pain that many are on a spiritual path today. True happiness is when everything we think, say and do is in harmony. Enjoy the day.

Written by: Sherrie Vitello
Excerpts taken from the book: Emotions, Transforming Anger, Fear and Pain. Written by: Marilyn C Barrick, Ph.D.


Each Step

Most of us are on a long uphill climb at this moment. It is a climb we are making together and yet a climb we can't do for each other. I can reach out my hand to you, and you can grasp my hand in return. But my steps are my own, just as you, too, can only take one step at a time.
For brief periods we skip, even run, along the uphill path. The rocks and the occasional boulder momentarily trip us up. We need patience and trust that the summit is still achievable. We can help one another have patience.
We can remind one another to trust. We look back at the periods that devastated us so long ago. And now we are here. We have climbed this far. We are stronger, saner, more secure. Each step makes easier the next step..each step puts us on more solid ground. 

Excerpts taken from the wonderful book:  Each Day A New Beginning by Karen Casey

What can be done about those "low-times."

We all have those days when we feel a "low time", things aren't flowing as well as we'd like them to. Not so much depression, just a "not so up feeling." Our positive thoughts and ideas have taken a back seat to feeling low and unmotivated. Don't despair...this does happen to all of us at some point or another. It could be due to things happening in the world around us or a sad time in our lives, due to the loss of someone we love or something that meant alot to us. Or just the daily grind of trying to make a living. Usually this "low time" is short lived. But if you're having trouble getting over something like this, no doubt, reach out to someone for help or get professional counseling. Don't be apprehensive about applying what is available to us in our time of need. We are not robots, we are feeling, emotional, caring human beings, at least most of us are, so reaching out for some support is not a bad thing. It could help you save your sobriety and get you back on track.

You can also give it a few days and see how you're feeling. For women, I would suggest this especially because we have hormone swings every month and they can play a serious role in messing with our emotions. You may even need the assistance of a medical professional to help with those hormone swings.
I have found that a healthy diet, exercise, and a positive outlook no matter what, can do just as well, if not better than medications. But check with your doctor, if you can afford to, just to be sure. If you can't afford a doctor, and with the cost of living today it's hard to keep regular check ups with a doctor, unless you can afford it. It won't hurt you to change your diet for a healthy one, exercising everyday for at least 20-40 minutes, allowing yourself to break a good sweat, and practicing some form of meditation a couple times a week, like, yoga or tai-chi. Dedicate yourself to this faithfully and I assure you, you will feel better and see a positive difference in how you look at things. Written by Sherrie Vitello 

But remember this: It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity and faith and security.  By Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"I may run into some rocks or even a boulder today. I have stepped around them in the past. I will do so again."   Excerpt taken from the wonderful book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey.

Enjoy the day!


Self Healing

Self  Healing begins when we except the fact that what we are doing to ourselves in our lives is not working out the way we would truly want them to. Whatever negative things you are doing to yourself, your body, your spirit has an effect on the other decisions you make in your life. If you're hung up on your past because you have had wrong things happen to you or you carry guilt due to some wrong things you may have done, you need to realize that the only way you can change those negative feelings is to let the things go that you can't make ammends to. You are living in the here and now and that opens up untold possibilities for new growth. 

Our inner self is enticed in new directions when our attention is fully in the present. When our minds are still on last night's argument or tommorrow's board meeting, we wear blinders to the activity at hand. Every single moment has something for us. Maybe a new piece of information, a piece that solves a problem that's been puzzling us. Perhaps a chance to make a new friend, one that will be there in a time of need. Letting go of yesterday frees us. We need not be burdened. It is gone. Our lives could be eased, so much, if we kept our focus on the experience at hand, where the problems we ponder have their solutions. Always. 

Being open to the present is our only chance for growth. These experiences today in our lives beckon us forward along the path meant for us. We are not guaranteed only joy today. But we are promised security. We may not be free of twinges of fear or confusion, but we can learn to trust even in the midst of adversity. We can remember that power greater than ourselves, whenever and wherever our steps are uncertain. Dwelling on our rebuffs, our rejections, invites further criticism. Attention to now and to the person here, now, is the only rightful response to life. Not being here, now, invites others to turn away, just as we have turned away.
If we listen to ourselves, to the innermost voice of our spirits, we know that we have the power to heal ourselves. Self-healing begins with making our own decisions about what we wear, what we do, who we are and deciding that we will be true to ourselves. With the help of our spiritual guide or higher power, we can resist the temptations to betray ourselves, for these temptations are born of fear; the fear that we are not good enough to be our "own physicians."  To except things that you cannot change, the power to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. To give away our powers binds us and causes us to suffer. But we can go to others for help without losing our own strength.

Written by Sherrie Vitello
Excerpts taken from the wonderful book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey.


Do you believe in Love at first sight?.....

Ahhh...love, there's nothing better. When you're in "love" life is better, sex is better, company is better, all things are wonderful. We kind of float on air. Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah....it's impossible to be in love with someone at first sight.(right?). First off humans are attracted by what they see, so looks are the first thing we notice, then there is the way someone smells (meaning the pheromones) believe it or not, we spend billions of dollars each year trying to find ways to smell more attractive to the opposite sex. Some cultures in other countries would rather have their own body scent instead of dabbing on alittle scent enhancer like, cologne or perfume. 

The color of ones eyes or hair play as factors of attraction but once in love with someone, does the color of their eyes or hair really matter? Really? The way a person carries themselves, the character of the person and so on are also factors in what makes someone attractive and what we love about someone. My mother use to say "...the greater the need, the greater the love..." I'm not saying a person can't love out of need, but even that type of love takes time to cultivate and nurture. I think we all have need of some kind, whether male or female. It's impossible for anyone to know someone so well at first sight that they immediately fall in love. Perhaps what we're really falling for is the outward appearance of what we first see.
Although that may be the first indication that we are attracted to someone, it's not the best time to pledge ones heart without getting to know that person first. Have you ever met someone that was so pretty or so handsome they seemed magical? Then they began to speak and as soon as they opened their mouth and mind you saw their intellect, values or morals, and it made you want to get away from that person as fast as you could? That's why you can't have "love at first sight". Lust at first site for sure, but not true love.  Many people think you can have love at first sight...these are the people that usually end up...broke up.

Now maybe...once in a blue-moon you might be fortunate enough to find that one person in a million that you will get along with immediately and just know this is the one for you. But sorry romantics...that is too far and few between. I suggest getting to know the person well before you start with the "I love you's". Too many people make the mistake of thinking lust is love...then when that gets old, people are left heart-broken, so don't make that mistake, unless you can read minds...there is no such thing as actual "love at first sight."

Of course if you're looking for just a casual, fun, shallow relationship, that's fine, but be sure you're on the level about that with the other person. That way you both have an understanding as to what to expect in the relationship and no one get's hurt. Another example is: have you ever met a person that you thought was incredibly good-looking, drop-dead gorgeous and you think you're "in-love" really "in-love", then you start getting to know that person and you find out that they're about as compatible with you as you would be compatible sleeping with a catcus.

All I'm saying is if you're looking to be "in love" true love...take time to get to know yourself first, then you'll be able to recognize what you would like to have in a partner. Be honest with yourself and your love interest. Love them for who they are not for what you can change them into. These are key to enduring the tests of time and for achieving a lasting relationship. And don't be in such a rush to find true love, believe me you'll find it, and when it's right...you'll know. Enjoy the Day!
Written by: Sherrie Vitello

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Sometimes what we need is right in front of us.

  Today I woke up feeling rather down, I hated the idea that I might be slipping back into my state of depression, which I thought I had lost along time ago. I was affraid it had reared it's ugly head, and that I would feel like I use to when I thought nothing really mattered. I held my face in my hands and began to pray. I didn't want to go back to feeling that way. It terrified me to think that it could happen. I stopped myself from thinking negative and I thought; "Ok, what can I do that will make me feel better?" I knew I had to do my morning routine of exercising even tho' at that moment I really didn't feel like it.

I knew I had to be positive for my spouse, so he could go off to work feeling good about things at home. I dare not show him my worry. Not now! It's not that I can't talk to him about things like this, it's just that I knew if I started to tell him how bad I was feeling, it would bring him down too. He's always such a happy morning person. I love that about him. No...I was going to fight this off. I am determined to find a way to channel these negative feelings. So I got up and began my morning routine. After I was alone, I was still feeling down. I thought; "Ok...I'll get my day started."

I put on my workout clothes and began my morning exercise routine. I realized my heart wasn't into it. I made myself channel those negative feelings into my workout. I would breath-in a state of positive, relaxed emotion and breath out the negative, worried feelings. I really worked hard at focusing on that technique. Alittle more than 1/2 way through my workout I was surprised to notice that I began to feel better. I was actually feeling better...Yaaaay! I was really glad about that. I know when we exercise it causes our brain to release endorphines, the feel good hormones, and I think that's wonderful!

It's a good thing to get into an exercise routine. Not only will it help to keep us healthy but it truly is good for our mind and emotions. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't just start exercising yesterday, it's been about 8 months. The difference is this is one of the those times I actually was able to use my exercise routine to help remove negative feelings and create a more positive state of mind. I always felt good after I would exercise but this time it was different. It was actually like a cure for what was ailing me. If you just do stretching and flexibility exercises, yoga, pillates, or a higher impact exercise routine...

...once you get started I believe anyone will reap the benefits of this. It will make you feel grateful. I got started because I was putting on weight and I wasn't comfortable in my skin any longer. I needed a change, so I began to make changes in my diet and I began an exercise routine. I still have a ways to go until I'm satisfied with myself, but I know now that this is the way to go. Here I've been looking for ways to improve my life, myself, my outlook and it was right here in front of me all along. I guess what I'm trying to say is "sometimes we need something to help us and we don't realize that it's right in front of us." Amazing!  
                                                     Enjoy the day!


The Battle From Within

When I was a younger person, wild and full of life, I never thought of being older. I figured "then" it was to far away from me. For now at this point of my younger life I was not only young, bolder, vibrant and strong, I could not see the side of myself that would be my downfall.  What force could there be but my own. Nothing could harness the strong, able frame I've become. I could run, run far and strong, like a prancing horse on an open plain, then only to be settle and wait for another day. 

I could not be held, forced or driven to anything but by my own will. As I grew older I thought, how could I get ahead with my life, how can I make the grade. I thought nothing could harness my ambition. Nothing could...but something did. I grew emotionally crippled and fearful. I hadn't realized that I created my own monster. In many shades this monster came. In many forms it feasted on my spirit.

I could not lock it away or hide it from view. My shame although hidden, weighed me down like a ball and chain. I had to face my monster and deplete it of it's strength, so I could slay it, stop it, stamp it out of my mind, body and soul. I fought with all my inner strength and I reached down inside for more. More strength!  I allowed hate to take over.

I hated what this monster was doing to me, how it changed me. It's a trickster and gave me a false sense of self and security. My hatred for this monster became my motivation, so strong until I could wrench this monster off my back. I was sickened by the thoughts that filled my mind of how I once clinged to the effects this monster gave me. For a moment...I thought I can't live without it. I was wrong.

Once I had knocked the monster off, pushed it away, it took everything I had to grab hold, shake it loose, strangle it from my life and kill it's desire to destroy me from the inside out. Get rid of it's desire, once and for all. I've made it through the struggle, I've climbed out of the valley of self annhilation. The road I once trudged is no longer. I can stand up straight and carry myself with dignity. I can wake up free! No more monster on my back. I've beaten it

I now realized the power of my will. I now have a shield around me. The desire to destroy a monster before it destroys me. As hard as this was to accomplish I only had to reach down within myself and make the effort count. Stay true to my self discipline. Take heed to the words of others wisdom. Take pride in the strides of accomplishments. No matter how small, they all count.  So in other words, for those of you out there trying to stay clean, going to meetings, going to detox, don't quit...ever! Sometimes it may take 2 or 3 tries before getting it right...maybe even more, but you will get it right so long as you keep trying to change for the better. 
Enjoy the day!
Written by Sherrie Vitello


Achieve A State Of Happiness.

This is one subject that we all think about once in awhile, and I have found that altho' difficult, we can achieve a state of happiness so long as we direct our thinking to that state of mind.  Sometimes I'll watch these talk shows that are targeted towards helping people with concerns of being overweight, being self critical, not knowing how to solve their problems, feelings of depression etc. and the one thing I find about these people with these problems is that they don't seem to know that it's their own thoughts, their own ways of seeing themselves, their own ways of focusing on more negative thoughts than positive thoughts that make them feel so helpless or inadequate. 

Let's face it....when you wake up in the morning and the first thought on your mind is, "Oh no...another day..." that's a hum-drum negative response to greeting the new day. Whereas if you were to greet the new day with a positive note, like, "It's going to be a good day..." you would probably feel alot better about starting the day. It's all a matter of what you tell yourself...how you're going to feel everyday. 
You can wake up every morning and say to yourself..."I'm going to have a good day today" or you can say to yourself, "I'm going to feel bad today". It's really up to what we say to ourselves.
I call that "Self Talk".  Some people ask "What can I do to achieve a state of happiness?"  For one, they can start writing a daily journal, take the time to write how you feel about the people in your life, your family, your job, your hobby, what made you happy today, what made you mad. Do this for about 2 to 3 months, faithfully, then read over what you've written, and take note of the things that made you feel negative, sad or angry and you'd like to change. There's your list to start making positive changes to.  Start with one thing at a time, take small steps and remember you have to walk before you can run.

So don't be too hard on yourself, you're not going to fix everything in one day, one week or even one month, it's going to take time to change the pattern of your thinking, but it can be done. Start trying to radiate an outward feeling of happiness. Feelings that are positive and happy will show outwardly and can create happiness around you and others. Divert negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Develop a positive outlook towards yourself. If you're unhappy because you're overweight, or your life isn't unfolding the way you'd like it to, start to make positive changes to those undesirable feelings and make it a goal to change to positive results. 

Remember, it's how you "Self Talk" to yourself that will set the course of your thoughts which will make the pattern of the way you think, change for the better. Which will help you achieve a state of happiness. It will take some effort on your part, but don't give up, don't fall into the pattern of being emotionally lazy, keep working toward a better outlook. See yourself as a positive effect on your surroundings and you will acheive your desired state of mind.
"As a man thinketh...so is he". Enjoy the day!

Wriiten by Sherrie Vitello

Angel or Devil on my Shoulder...?

Sometimes I really wonder if I had an Angel or a Devil on my shoulders'.  How many of you have felt that way or asked yourselves the same question?  When a person is addicted to drugs or alcohol (or both), it seems like there IS an Angel and  a Devil on there shoulders'.  I think back to my own experiences I went through when I was addicted to drugs and alcohol and the struggle I went through knowing what I was doing to myself, and my loved ones.

Although it's been over 5 years that I've lived a clean and sober life, I sure am glad I had that Angel. At those times of my "downside of life" I can remember doing things that I would have never done on a clean/sober mind.

I cringe when I think of the stupid, senseless, things I did that could have got me in alot of trouble, and I cry when I think of the times I stole money from my loved ones. I can't believe I gave into temptation so easily, I can't believe I did those things.

I know in recovery we're not suppose to think we'll never be that way again......but I have to tell you, it'll be a cold day in hell before I go back to being an addict.  I mean that with all of my heart and strength.  I'm sure some of you out there feel the same way and have had the same type of experiences. Or maybe you're still going through those experiences because you're just not ready to stop the craziness of being an addict.

You might even think you can't exist without your drug of choice or drink of choice.  Well, until you get sick of being sick and tired of your life just not working for you, you'll have that Devil on your shoulder until you change. There will always be a struggle between good and bad.  When you first start out to change your life to a clean/sober life, it's hard, I 'm not going to sugar-coat it, but with support, you can become stronger towards the cravings, you can learn to turn away from the triggers and that Angel...just gets stronger and stronger.
Some folks out there can never turn away from there addictions because they have led that way of life for so long....without professional and medical help, they probably wouldn't last too long on the clean/sober side of life. But even they can change their lives. The power of the mind can be a very formidable component to changing ones life. 
We all know that somethings in life are just too much to bare sometimes and we actually convince ourselves that there is no way out. But to all of you just starting to get clean, remember, you've already taken the first big step in improving your way of life. Just put one foot in front of the other and keep heading in 'THAT' same direction.
You'll see, you'll get to the point where you'll look back on your life and you'll wonder...."wow, was I really like that..?"  Let that be the motivation you need to stay clean and sober.  It does get better. Time does heal. We can become stronger in our convictions to live a clean and sober life, we can be happy.

Enjoy the Day.
To all my visitor's please take into consideration that the Angel and Devil description used in this post is used as a metaphor to describe the struggle of becoming clean and sober.



A Moment of Inspiration......

A SISTER'S LOYALTY                                                                          Sisters Gina, Celeste and Michelle

Now it's time to face the truth
Though I'd rather keep my youth.

Have to hold her hand through this
Till she finds the piece that fits.

This may bruise her soul, so deep
She may never get to sleep
Will this lesson turn her head?
Or will she feel inside so dead?
Too soon to see the reasons, why?
Too close I feel the loss and cry.

The only reason I am here
To help her look till she sees clear.                                                      

Though my insides shatter
Thoughts of what could be
It really doesn't matter
It's not my task to see.

Just to be there for her                                                                  
As her sister and her friend
Even though I don't always agree                                                   
I'll see her to the end.

Taken from the wonderful book: Through This Addicts Eyes, by Celeste Vitello


High Expectations.

For those of us who have had to deal with being let-down by our expectations, this article is for you. I'm positive that we have all been let-down at onetime or another because we didn't get what we expected.  As we have come to stop abusing ourselves with drugs and alcohol, we sometimes expect our lives to become this magical, wonderful place to be, right away. It's like trying to win the Indy500 with a racecar that has fouled sparkplugs. We have to remember, for all the time we spent using, we also closed off alot of the things that could have made our lives better.  Sometimes we probably didn't even realize just how messed up our lives became while abusing ourselves. 

Although some of us were functioning addicts...we believed we were doing just fine when we had our drugs or had our drinks.  Until the next time we ran out of our drugs, or didn't have our drinks.  We had gotten so clouded by our addiction that we lost the true perception of the world around us.  We don't really realize that until we're clean and sober just how clouded we truly were.  We have to remember that it took us time to get that way and it's going to take some time to get back on the right path and begin to see our lives in a more positive light.  But it does happen. 

The best way to get through this, without relapsing, is talking about it to others and learning that it's not just you that has had this problem.  You can also read up on how to motivate yourself.  I believe that if we surround ourselves with positive outllooks and attitudes that we will attract the positive things in the universe. Plus we must also learn that negative things do happen at times, and we must learn to cope and deal with the negative things using a positive resolve.  It's like having the attitude that we are not going to let any negative things turn us back into those addicts we once were. 

So don't be affraid to make goals and stick to them in order to improve your life.  Sure you may have some set-backs, but that doesn't mean you have to regress back to your addictive ways.  Realize it's going to take some time for you to re-establish relationships, of any kind, that you may have damaged during your addictive times.  Know that this can be accomplished by the actions we take now once you've made the decision to break away from your addictions.  Like I tell my daughters even to this day, "Believe in yourself, do your best, and you'll be alright."  I find that to be so very true.  Until next time, enjoy the day. 


Curbing That Anger....

I believe we all know what it's like to get mad, angry!  Sometimes anger can be the cause for us to relapse. Especially when we are first starting to get clean.  You know that saying "count to 10" or "take a walk" as ridiculous as that sounds, it can actually help us to stop and think before we say something we might regret.  Plus don't forget the effects anger has on our blood pressure.  Take a moment to calm yourself before you communicate what you need/want to say. 
Sometimes it can be difficult to make good decisions when we're angry, so be sure 'not' to make life altering decisions when you're angry, give yourself time to sort through the anger and try to empathize.  It would also be a good idea to find out the root of the anger, whether you're dishing it out or receiving it from someone.
Changing how we think is key to helping us as we learn to become unaddicted.  Although anger is a normal emotion and feeling it makes us know we still have feelings, it can still lead to negative outcomes if we don't learn to channel it.  I have learned that anger is a good motivator, it can assert us to get into action.  Have you ever gotten angry at someone or something?  Think about all that energy you're using to feel that angry-emotion, now, what if you learned to channel that energy of anger-emotion towards something you need to accomplish?  

That is a great way to dissolve the negative feelings and channel them or turn them into something positive.  If you have too much trouble doing that on your own, you may need some counseling to help you regulate and to help you learn to control that anger.  Counseling can be going to a meeting and sharing your problem, or going to a counselor and speaking to them one on one.  Either way, it's a good idea for people with anger issues to find ways to curb that anger. 

Remember when you're just beginning to change your old ways of addiction to a clean way of living,  for most of us,  it's going to be an emotional roller-coaster for awhile.  But it's not permanent.  You will begin to feel better emotionally and physically.  Especially if you begin focusing on your health, diet and physical fitness.  You can live a clean life,  you can learn not to be angry,  you can feel good about who you are,  and you can be happy.


A Moment of Inspiration

I Prayed for you Today

I prayed for you today, gave thanks for your life, wished
you the best, asked the heaven to bless you with good health
and happiness.
I sent you good thoughts, surrounded you with hope and faith
and love.
I asked that you be prepared for whatever life hands you or
whatever you're going through.
I asked that your spirit be strong and lead you and guide you
each step of the way down every path you take.
I asked the universe to confirm for you that you're very
I asked the earth to be good to you, and I asked God
to show you his perfect way.
I prayed for you today.

Poem by:  Donna Fargo

Trying to Control Things can Make Things Worse....

Most of us have struggled, willfully, with untold numbers of addictions, liquor, uppers, downers, sugar, chocolate, cigarettes, the opposite sex. The more we become determined to control our use or to abstain, the greater the compulsion felt for one drink, one bite, one puff. Giving in completely was the turning point.
Recovery helps each of us find relief from our primary addiction once we humble ourselves, accept our powerlessness, and ask for help. It can help us equally effectively, every day, with any problem we are willfully trying to control. Is a family member causing grief? Is a coworker creating anxiety? Has a close friend pulled away? We expend so much energy trying to manage outcomes! 

In most cases, our attempt to control will invite even more resistance. Recovery offers the way out of any frustrating situation. We can be mindful of our powerlessness and cherish the opportunities offered by our higher power. We can turn over whatever our problem is to God and quietly, trustingly, anticipate the resolution. It's guaranteed. Have faith in yourself, believe in the power of prayer. We're not only talking to God when we pray, we are talking to ourselves.

If you were to look into a mirror at yourself and say, "I feel good about myself today"...chances are you'll feel good throughout the day. You'll have the same effect negatively if you were to say something negative about yourself.  One good rule of thumb I did when I was changing my outlook about myself is, I would make sure that everyday I would say something nice to someone. Not only did it help that person feel good, it made me feel good as well. Try being more positive about yourself. You're on a journey here and you want it to turn out well.  Enjoy the day.
My writings here have been combined with Karen Casey's Book: Each Day a New Beginning.


Being Grateful.....

Another wonderful day everyone...I hope you all are feeling well. Remember...If you hate your job, imagine yourself without it, if you hate your life, imagine the sadness of never seeing the abundance of beauty there is in the world, if you hate yourself, imagine what you're missing by not allowing yourself to truly laugh or seeing the love in someone's eyes or the smile of a child or the softness of a puppy.
You get the picture....so be happy, Dammit!!! LOL! 
Enjoy the weekend everyone...and remember a good time doesn't have to be in a bottle.


The One Thing.....

Something that I learned about making changes for the better was, I had to gain a positive attitude about my life and about myself. Believe me it wasn't as easy as it sounds. I felt as though I had the weight of the world on my shoulders...and in a way I did.  I was a single parent for a long time and I had to be the one that paid the bills and brought home the food.  I know that was the reason I never actually went off the deep end.
You'd think that would have been enough to stop myself, but it wasn't.
Even though I still had an addiction, of one kind or another,  I was able to function and keep up on the bills.
Of course I can't take all the credit here...with the help I received from human resources a couple of times and my family off and on, although it was still a struggle, I was able to get over some of those huge humps, and for that I was grateful.                     

But that didn't stop me from abusing myself every now and then. Back then I could handle it, so I thought. I was blinded by my indulgences that I didn't realize that the road I was headed down would only end in disaster if I didn't stop. So what could I do to change the way I saw myself into someone who loved oneself enough so that I could live a clean life?  As I've gotten wiser, I've realized that a person has to have something in their lives that matters.  Now don't get me wrong here...my daughters' mean the world to me and I believe they were my strength. But what I'm talking about by having something that matters is having something that appeals to my inner source or attitude.
For some folks it's religion, or a spiritual event, a love for something outside of your normal life.  All the good things that we have are great!...but we all need something that makes each one of us feel content, competent, whole and grateful. I believe that that can be as different to each of us as we are individual. So the 'one thing' then is for all of us who turn towards artificial stimuli, and over do it, and become addicted to it, need to seek out what it is in ourselves that makes us feel whole. Stop the insanity!!(thank you Susan Powder) Drop the baggage that weigh's us all down and weakens our spirit. We've all had some bad things happen to us along the way. Sadly some never come out of it, but when you have the right information and we learn to let go of the things that weigh us down, we can emerge into a better life, be clean and be happy.  Although we some
times feels as though we have no control....the 'one thing' is....up to you.
[Written by Sherrie Vitello]


Self Pity (the parasite)

Self-pity is a parasite that feeds on itself.  Many of us are inclined towards self-pity, not allowing for the balance of life's natural tragedies.  We will face good and bad times--and they will pass.  With certainty they will pass.  The attitude "Why me?" hints at the little compassion we generally feel for others' suffering.  Our empathy with others' even our awareness of their suffering, is generally minimal.  We are much too involved in our own.  Were we less self-centered, we'd see that blessings and tragedies visit us all in equal amounts. 
Some people respond to their blessings with equanimity, and they quietly remove the sting from their tragedies.  We can learn to do both.  Recovery is learning new responses, feeling and behaving in healthier ways.  We need not get caught by self-pity.  We can always feel it coming on. And we can always let it go.  Self-pity may beckon today, fortunately, we can learn that we have other choices.
Taken from the wonderful book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey


A Moment of Inspirational Poetry.....

Shadow  of  my    Pen

Shadow of my pen
caught my tired eye
Writing without reason
Follows my desire
Walk along beside me
Tip by tip we blend
Feeling all the rhythm
Flowing through my hand

All the letters bouncing
A bigger life than I
As my pen it dances
Where I choose to fly
Will I share my passion?
To keep my dream alive
Or will I let it slip?
Without the will to try

Stumbled down I have
Lied there reaching out
For anything to help me
Understand what life's about
Now I see this purpose
It has brought me to my knees
But this never ending circus
Keeps me in displease

Still I keep on writing
Through my sense of doubt
Just so I can show you
What I think life's about.

Taken from the book:  Through This Addicts Eyes
By:  Celeste Vitello


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Why we are here.......

We've developed this blog to help visitors' find ways to cope with changes in their lives and find new strength as they look for ways to improve their own ways of thinking, attitudes, addictions and self image.  Sometimes in our lives we need to make changes for the better, and we don't always have the assistance outside of our selves to make those changes.  Contained within this blog is several self help items and words to encourage 
us which can be of great help to anyone who needs that extra boost to get going with change and stay on track.

Of course listening and speaking to others' with the same problems and some guidance can be of help as well.  It's always good to relate with others that share a common ground.  But sometimes we'll find ourselves having to deal with our issues on our own.  So what if you had a blog where you could go and find
some information about how you're feeling about things, what you can do about things that may be bothering you or you may want to find out how to deal or handle a situation that's getting in the way of you being at your best. 

That's why we're here.  We share several insights, advice, suggestions, great reads, all intended to help visitors' maybe find some answers.  We always invite comments too, your points of views are an important part of what we do too.  So please, after you've looked us over,  we encourage you to leave us any comments or questions. 

Now for the sake of not misleading anyone, please understand, we are not  psychologists' and we don't make claims to being one.  Everything within this blog is written purely from experiences we've been through, experiences that loved ones and friends have been through, and alot of research about human emotions.  It's wisdom learned from alot of situations we've seen others in and been in ourselves. 
The reason we feel the need to write about this is because we've learned alot of good things that we believe can help others that are searching for answers or information to help them find there way.  That's why we love to read from visitors' that like to share too....we can all get something out of each others insights and ideas.  So by all means don't hesitate to write what you're thinking about....lets get this conversation going!
[Written by Sherrie Vitello]