"I look inside myself to find my peace"

Wednesday

How You See Yourself Reflects Onto Others.

Look in your mirror.  Go on.. have a look.  What do you see?  Who is starring back at you?  When you look at yourself are you looking at only your reflection?  Only how nice you look?  Do you take a moment to look deeper then only what you see on the surface?  We want to see how we appear on the outside to other people.  People for the most part use the mirror only to checkout their look. Is the hair just right?  Do the clothes look good?  Does this make me look fat?  Is the makeup too much, too little or just right?  Are you handsome?  Anything in my nose?  Everyone does this to give ourselves confidence to go about our day.  But what about those times when you look at yourself in the mirror and you don't feel good about what you see?  You feel depressed or down about yourself or things going on in your life.  You don't think you look nice at all.  We are usually too self absorbed to realize how this feeling can look towards other people.  Which in turn only makes you feel worse about yourself.  There is much more going on with your reflection than you may know.  Did you know that other people whom you associate with like those at your job or in your class are like your mirror?  They will reflect you.

A simple concept, yet one that many people are either unwilling, or unable, to grasp.  Your emotions, your traits and your feelings are reflected back at you from other people.  Either through in-kind responses or through predictable reactions to the emotions or feelings that you're projecting.  Most of the time our feelings going on with ourselves projects outward to others around us. You can sense this when we meet someone for the first time and we may feel a "negitive vibe" from that person. They could be having a bad day themselves and they are just in a negative state of mind.  Altho' first impressions may cause us to draw a conclusion about someone like that.  Passing judgement wouldn't really be accurate.  This is due to how that person feels within themselves and it projects outward to others they may come in contact with.  Now a lot of people have developed the ability to put their best foot forward.  Even when things may not be so positive for them.  This is a good trait because what you think about within will project outward and show on the surface.

Altho' there are people that carry themselves as if everything is great in their lives.  Only to feel totally different when they are by themselves.  These kind of feelings should be addressed because there is something more going on they should resolve or change.  If you have to falsify feeling good you should assess what is wrong in your life and change it.  I'm talking about being real here. True feelings and how they effect others and reflect you.  You will project what you're feeling inside.  People who seem oblivious to these kinds of senses are usually so absorbed in what they are doing that they miss it.  So when you look in that mirror next time.  Get in close, look deeper and make a detemination of yourself that you are capable.  You can decide how your day will go. You will have a positive productive day.  Even though absurdities and negatives come into our day no matter how positive we are.  The key to maintaining a positive healthy reflection is by not giving any negative events any power.  Handle any problem with the best positive resolve you can, stay positive and if you catch the right moment, offer a pleasant positive comment to someone who may be experiencing a negative day.

For most people hearing kindness from someone can give them hope and make them feel better. Believe it or not, once you realize the power of positive re-enforcement, this can be helpful to someone who could use the positive boost in their life at that moment.  It is also great feedback for ourselves.  When was the last time you told yourself that you respect, trust and love yourself and you have worth and value as a human being?  Try this while looking in your own eyes.  Do you think you need another person to give you that?  You don't.  When we learn to love and trust ourselves we begin to care more about what we do, what is good to keep in our lives, what to change for the better and how our outlook changes our own perception of ourselves and our lives.  We allow ourselves to feel good about who we are as a human being.  We are no longer concerned about what others may think.  After all what others think about us is their business not ours.  We find that we can do a lot more things than we thought because we gave ourselves the chance to prove it by developing our own belief and support system from within.  And when you look in the mirror, we no longer think how we look to others.  We think how good we feel and how wonderful of a day we'll have. What the days experience will teach us.  What positive reflection I can share with others.  You will feel a self assurance and confidence about yourself.

Thats the key; embracing who you are and allowing yourself the beautiful spiritual being that is alive within you.  You will reflect your thoughts and shine on the outside when you allow truth to unfold within.  Its all about embracing who you are, acknowledging any faults, excepting what cannot be changed, and letting go, releasing negatives instead of holding onto them.  They will only cause you grief and harm.  Negative thoughts are empty energy that only zaps your positive outlook. It is quite easy to go through your entire life and never develop the skill of spotting yourself being reflected in other people.  Any development in this area will improve your self-insight, your self trust and your relations with others. Happy life day.


Copyright(c)2015. How You See Yourself  Reflects Unto Others.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Getting Over Disappointment - Practice the Art Of Non-attachment.

    A very healing video. So many suffer from this for no good reason. Feeling this way most of my life. I know it stemmed from childhood. Over the last few years I've began my journey of changing this emotional state. I have found that "energy flows where attention goes." I've tried this visualization exercise & the results are amazing. If we can do this by focusing on something, then we can create our lives for the better by focusing on that. Altho' you may still struggle with feelings of disappointment learning that our thoughts create our lives is key to getting past disappointment. Don't allow your thoughts or fears of disappointment to direct how you should feel. Practice the art of non-attachment. While we still desire things, whilst not becoming attached to the outcome. Change your thoughts... change your life. While its always a work in progress, its all about how we perceive things & letting go of things that no longer serve us. Enjoy the day.
              

Thursday

TRUST - Is it Given or is it Earned?

Trust. Some would say its an emotion while others may say its a logical reference in how we feel towards another person. Then some would say it is both. But what and where does it actually stem from. When we meet someone new some people will use their first impression of that person as their directive to trust that person or not. No doubt sometimes those first impression are very accurate. We tend not to trust people right away. Then there is the other side to that. We may think that someone is not to be trusted or they seem unpleasant when in reality, this person has just lost a loved one, or perhaps they are having financial problems or someone just robbed their house, you get my drift. When these things happen to us none of us feel really good at that moment. Sometimes it can take a few days for the negative feelings to pass. Unless its down right obvious I don't think first impressions hold much worth when it comes to making a permanent conclusion about a person. When we trust ourselves we can trust others. This occurs because we know we will be alright even if that trust we've given to someone else was a let down.

Iyanla VanSant defines this perfectly when she wrote the following in her book: Until Today!  She states: "Trust is based on your ability to stand your ground and rely on your own abilities, knowing that no matter what happens, you will be better off than you were at the beginning.  Anything less than this is not trust."  Just think about that for a moment. That is a perfect definition of trust. So what about that saying; "trust is not a given, trust is earned."  Some would declare that statement as the holy grail saying for trust.  It is very accurate, no doubt. When we meet a person we tend not to trust them for fear of being lied to, let down or hurt by them.  We automatically grab hold of that holy grail saying in order to shield ourselves.  Our apprehension to trust is rooted on feelings of insecurity and ego.  While our ability to trust is founded in feelings of safety and acceptance. So when those lines are crossed we are left with emotional wounds that scar over to create a tuff emotional shield which we rely on to protect us over and over again. What happens when we rely on this shield is it tends to also create a distrust within ourselves.  The soul essence that we call trust resides within us. We decide to trust and what we have decided to believe is reflected.

Rhino represents fear, uncertainty, untrust.
Child represents all of us. Children of the
universe. 
We tend to be so wrapped up in ourselves, so self referencing, so insecure that we are driven to protect our ego's without question.  While instead we should allow and embrace trusting.  As we learn to trust more within ourselves we grow and become more confident, sure footed and above all happy.  There should always be a balance of trust that we give and trust that is earned.  In keeping to this balance it allows us to experience true essence of trust and to deflect the negatives that mistrust can cause us.  One thing is for sure there is most likely more positive experiences to come about when we trust ourselves and when we allow ourselves to trust others. When we feed our own trust and allow it to present itself, it will flourish in our lives and our spirit.  While on the other hand if we feed our own trust with poison of negativity, fear, resentment, then our trust will crust over and harden. Which will in turn lead us through our lives with fear, no base of assurance and no true self love or true happiness.  Because our thoughts create form on some level within. All that our physical experience is, is the reflection of our thoughts.  Enjoy the day.  





Copyright(c)2015. TRUST - Is it Given or is it Earned?Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.  

Monday

How To Start Feeling Happy About Yourself.

This is one subject that we all think about once in awhile, and I have found that altho' difficult, we can achieve a state of happiness so long as we direct our thinking to that state of mind. Sometimes I'll watch these talk shows that are targeted towards helping people with concerns of being overweight, being self critical, not knowing how to solve their problems, feelings of depression etc. and the one thing I find about these people with these problems is that they don't seem to know that it's their own thoughts, their own ways of seeing themselves, their own ways of focusing on more negative thoughts than positive thoughts that make them feel so helpless or inadequate. Their inner strength and power has become stagnant. 

Let's face it....when you wake up in the morning and the first thought on your mind is, :( "Oh no..another day.." that's a hum-drum negative response to greeting the new day. Whereas if you were to greet the new day with a positive note, like, "It's going to be a good day.." you would probably feel alot better about starting the day. It's all a matter of what you tell yourself...how you're going to feel everyday. You can wake up every morning and say to yourself..."I'm going to have a good day today" or you can say to yourself, "I'm going to feel bad today". It's really up to what we say to ourselves. 

I call that "Self Talk". Some people ask "What can I do to achieve a state of happiness?" For one, they can start writing a daily journal. Take the time to write how you feel about the people in your life, your family, your job, your hobby, what made you happy today, what made you mad. Do this for about 2 to 3 months, faithfully, then read over what you've written, and take note of the things that made you feel negative, sad or angry and you'd like to change. There's your list to start making positive changes to. Start with one thing at a time, take small steps and remember you have to walk before you can run. 

So don't be too hard on yourself, you're not going to fix everything in one day, one week or even one month, it's going to take time to change the pattern of your thinking, but it can be done. Start trying to radiate an outward feeling of happiness. Feelings that are positive and happy will show outwardly and can create happiness around you and for others. Divert negative thoughts to positive thoughts. Develop a positive outlook towards yourself. If you're unhappy because you're overweight, or your life isn't unfolding the way you'd like it to, start to make positive changes to those undesirable feelings and make it a goal to change to positive results. 

Remember, it's how you "Self Talk" to yourself that will set the course of your thoughts which will make the pattern of the way you think change for the better. Which will help you achieve a state of happiness. It will take some effort on your part, but don't give up, don't fall into the pattern of being emotionally lazy, keep working toward a better outlook. See yourself as having a positive effect on your surroundings and you will achieve your desired state of mind. For more inspirational writings, affirmations and suggestions please visit: Myself Self Help blog http://myselfselfhelp.blogspot.com



Copyright(c)2015.How To Start Feeling Happier About Yourself. Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved. 

Tuesday

How Do You Feel When You Wake Up? Can Determine How Your Day Will Be

HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU WAKE UP?

When you first wake up in the morning what do you think to yourself? Are you a positive person who believes its going to be a good day or are you a negative person that thinks only of all the responsibilities you have to do. You dislike having to go to work or you worry about all of the bills to pay? No doubt it can be stressful and uncertain. But our thoughts can make it either better for ourselves or worse. What if you were to instead of thinking of all the things you dislike in your life, try thinking of the blessing and the good things you have. Tell them to yourself. Here yourself say them.

When you surrender yourself to the universe and you try to maintain a healthy outlook, even when it seems hopeless, you'll begin to make your way closer to what you believe. Be it positive or negative. When I look back over my life and I recall how my outlook was, I wasn't as positive then as I am now. Even though I was uncertain, I always believed whole heartedly that things would be better. I refused to think that there was no hope. I was grateful for the good things in my life and I struggled with the negatives. But one thing remained true with me all those years.. and it was what I believed within myself.

Even when life would throw its worse at me, I dealt with it the best way I could. I carried along a monkey on my back for several years. Because I was afraid to face life for the way it was. I had addictions that needed to end and so I began the journey of no longer being an addict. I kept working towards a better state of mind. I had to leave alot of things behind and move on. But one thing rang clear as a bell. I had to get myself straight before things would start to straighten out for me. When you're in an addiction, its like swimming and trying to see your way through cloudy water.

We have to allow ourselves the chance to prove to ourselves that we can make our lives better. There is a light at the end of the darkness. We all deserve to live happily and have a good life. It starts with how we think we are, how we believe our lives should be and working very hard to get there. When we refuse to try to change for the better we are abandoning our given right as a human being to live the way we'd like to live. Some believe they can't change but thats usually because they don't know how. Help is available you need only reach out for it. Enjoy the day!

Footnote: Medical science has determined that what we see or hear just before we fall asleep can have a significant effect on how we feel when we wake up.





Copyright(c)2015.How Do You Feel When You Wake Up? Can Determine How Your Day Will Be.Written by Sherrie Vitello

Thursday

What Does Your Life Smell Like? Think About It.

    What does your life smell like? At first it may seem like an unusual question. On the second thought, the question will probably reveal to you some things you may have overlooked. If you were to take a whiff of your life, which response mechanism would be activated? A gag reflex? The laugh button? A sigh of relief? Or unspeakable joy? If you were passing by your life, what would you smell? A bed of roses? Or a gym locker full of sweaty socks? Perhaps some... of grandmas' home cooking? 

    Or is it more like popcorn that has been left in the microwave too long? If you were to throw open the front door of your life, what would hit you in the face? The scent of Carpet Fresh or the stench of a moldy basement? The aroma of a cake that's just about done? Or the smell of trash that needs to go out? Most of us are very familiar with the way our lives look. Few of us have ever taken the time to make sure that our lives smell as clean as they look. 

    Quite often, what our ears, eyes and hands miss, our nose can detect. The sense of smell is also quite useful because it evokes memories. With a whiff of something, you can be thrown back into a memory of something that happened, how it happened and whether or not you liked what happened. From there, you are motivated to encourage or discourage the same thing from happening again in your life. 

    Most important, the sense of smell evokes feelings. If something in your life doesn't smell right, you will not feel right. If you don't like what you feel, you know it is time to clean up! Until today, you may only have been concerned with the way your life looks. You may have ignored certain things you heard or saw, but you cannot ignore a smell. Just for today, be devoted to sniffing around your life. Be on the lookout for rotting things you need to discard and fragrant things you can put on display. Enjoy the day!







    Excerpts taken from her book: 'Until Today' by Iyanla Vansant.

Wednesday

Keep To Your Vision.

 "Human Beings, by changing their inner attitudes of their minds can change the outer aspects of their lives." - William James

Some call it visioning, others call it dreaming, reframing, visualization, positive thinking or cognitive therapy.
And still others just do it and don't call it anything. Its the art of deliberately picturing something that we desire - behavior, goal or outcome-
so that its more likely to come about. Thinking alone isn't going to make something happen, of course.
But once we have a vision, we can begin to act in ways that will make the vision become real.

Ask yourself: "I have a picture of how I want my life to go. What do I need to do to make it happen?"

 (Excerpt taken from: The Daily Book of Positive Quotations, by Linda Picone)

 

Sunday

Dealing With The Seasons Of Our Lives - Aging

Well I knew eventually I would get to writing about this topic. Growing older. Like alot of folks there are some that have a difficult time with this stage of their lives. Granted this is not always an easy fact that we all must endure. It means different things to each of us individually. We look in the mirror and we see changes that take place physically. It just doesn't seem fair that most of us will show those rude signs of aging. Yup I called it rude. Afterall we try to take good care of our health for the most part of our lives. We even begin an exercise routine and actually start being dedicated to it. Some of us change our diets for the better and cut out all those delectable things that taste awesome but just aren't good for us. The clothes we were able to fit into not too long ago don't seem to fit as well. Because humans tend to shrink alittle bit as we age. We not only get a broader physique we also can loose alittle height. Our skin looses its tightness, especially for us women and what use to be up here is now down there. So thats why thousands of people feel that this is totally unfair. Although we can't really escape those signs of aging, we can certainly do things in our lives that can help to slow it down and keep us healthy. But it all starts with how you view this time of your life and what things you are willing to do to keep our aging bodies at peak performance. Its also important to remember that WE ARE NOT ALONE with the changes. Everyone of us will go through changes no matter how much money we have to alter it or how well we care for it. Its inevitable.

We come to terms with the fact that there's nothing we can do about this, we just have to live with it.

See notepad for more info.

Friday

Thoughts For Living

Staying in an angry state of mind serves us no purpose and clouds our potential.  However anger can help us to become motivated.  It can help us make a move to resolve something that needs to be fixed now.  Its more beneficial for our mind, body and spirit to rid ourselves of anger and not dwell in that emotion.  Because even tho' it can be a motivator for us to make a move, it can also cause harm and destructive outcomes IF we don't check it at that door.  

The next time you're angry about something, be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you have brought the cause of the emotion on yourself.  By not doing what you should have done from the start.  You may also ask yourself what is it that I should be learning as to why I'm feeling this way?  After all life is a journey of learning for everyone.  Contrary to belief we should never permit ourselves to retreat from the lessons of life, no matter how insignificant or huge things may seem.  

No one ever learns to know everything.  Get passed the desensitizing of social indifference and the overkill drama the media is feeding you.  Get past the lies of what you're being told is really important but isn't.  Most importantly get over yourself.  We are designed from one base root system that allows for many characteristics, colors, shapes and sizes.  But we are of one divine consciousness.  Our purpose in life is not just to leave a path of good for others to follow, but to learn to think with a higher level of purpose.  To learn to live in peace, with love and harmony.  Even if you only find this within yourself.  Enjoy the day.



Copyright(c)2015.ThoughtsForLiving.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Thoughts For Life

Thought for the day: Staying in an angry state of mind serves us no purpose and clouds our potential. However anger can help us to become motivated. It can help... us make a move to resolve something that needs to be fixed now. Its more beneficial for our mind, body and spirit to rid ourselves of anger and not dwell in that emotion. Because even tho' it can be a motivator for us to make a move, it can also cause harm and destructive outcomes IF we don't check it at that door. The next time you're angry about something, be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you have brought the emotion on yourself by not doing what you should have done from the start. You may also ask yourself what is it that I should be learning as to why I'm feeling this way. After all life is a journey of learning for everyone. Contrary to belief we should never permit ourselves to retreat from the lessons of life, no matter how insignificant or huge things may seem. No one ever learns to know everything. Get passed the desensitizing of social indifference and the bs the media is feeding you, get past the lies of what you're being told is really important but isn't and most importantly get over yourself. We are designed from one base root system that allows for many characters, colors, shapes and sizes. But we are of one divine consciousness. Our purpose in life is not just to leave a path of good for others to follow, but to learn to think with a higher level of purpose and to learn to live in peace, with love and harmony. Even if you only find this within yourself. Enjoy the day.

Sunday

Our Brains - Thoughts Create Our Lives

Let me ask you a question. How often do we tell ourselves things aren't always what we think they are? In other words, there are times when our own brains just think about things so out of context that we have to tell it to be quiet. Although our brains are great at analytical things and things that require deduction or finding answers, where do we draw the line between when we should listen to our brains and when we should tell it to shut up? Here's what I mean by that. Have you ever thought about something that you may not feel too sure about and your brain starts running through a scenario of outcomes? Sometimes these outcomes are so ridiculous, maybe even frightening, that you close your eyes for a few seconds in an effort to stop thinking about it? Or the brain could be thinking of positive outcomes but you don't buy into them completely because things could turn out completely opposite of what you thought? This is what I've come to know as thought pattern displacement. I was told by someone a long time ago NOT to listen to my brain. At that time, I didn't understand, or maybe didn't want to understand what that meant. But as time has gone on and I've gained wisdom, patience and my thinking has grown wiser, I do understand that very well. And its very true too.

Think of it this way. Within each of us we have 4 raw forms of how we think, come to decisions, decipher and choose our outcomes for our lives. They are our brains, our hearts, our gut feelings and our spiritual beliefs be them through religion or spirituality. These 4 forms make up who we are, how we make decisions and how we live our lives. What I've come to find is our brains are not always our friend. Our brains, besides being a brilliant thinking mass, has the capacity to destroy our self confidence or build our self image with just thoughts. It can even create the outcome of our lives. How we think and what we think are the components of what we make happen in our daily lives. That saying "..our thoughts create our lives.." is more true than we know. When someone says something negative about you. You are the key factor as to how you will allow this negative comment to effect your entire day, effect how you feel and even the outcome of how you see yourself. Unless you are an unfeeling narcissist, you most likely will feel some kind of feelings about what has been said. We could just let go of it, which is probably the best way to handle it. But for some thats not so easy to do. We certainly can't allow others to direct how we should feel. But most importantly we can't allow our brains to fall into the depths of imagination of self doubt, uncertainty or feelings of inadequacy because of it.                                                                                      

Some of the best ways we can help ourselves is by reminding ourselves of all of our inner strengths. The experiences we've gotten through in our lives, our achievements-no matter how small they all count. When the brain starts to think in negative ways, for every negative thought about yourself think of an opposite positive one. It may help you to write it down. Even though this may be difficult to accomplish at times, the more you do that the better you get at it. When things aren't going right for you, take a moment to ask yourself; "what is the lesson I should be learning here?" This is a way we can self examine ourselves and even gain strength within and change the way our brains can think. Now grant it, there will be times when you can't help how you feel. Unkind and hard times can stir up negative patterns, its just the way life is. But its how we handle those moments and how we think about them that makes all the difference in how it affects us and how we will feel. Our thoughts create our lives. We are affected by others only when we allow negative people and unhappy circumstances to affect our thoughts about ourselves. If you're a person that feels like the thoughts your brain creates are making you feel unhappy, its time to re-evaluate your thinking and begin to think differently. Don't become hostage of self sabotaging thoughts that hold you back from discovering what you are capable of achieving and who you truly are. Believe in yourself.



Copyright(c)2015.Our Brains-Thoughts Create Our Lives.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.  

Thursday

It is our own experience that determines everything about you.
People can get themselves into a certain mentality that will not allow themselves to experience anything else. Like looking at your life through the keyhole of a door.
If we're not open to receive experiences, be them bad or good, that come into our lives, how are we to expand our own thinking, capabilities or grow spiritually?
When we give to things totally things tend to work out for us. So be giving. I'm not talking about giving material things to others, I'm talking about giving of ourselves totally in whatever moment or whatever thing we are doing. In doing this we allow ourselves the enjoyment of the experience completely because we know we've allowed it to take place for us.