Failure Should not be Looked Upon as a Negative.

"The way we perceive things will be the compass to how happy or how miserable we will feel."

"..its going to be a positive day.."

I've always believed that with each new day we all have the opportunity to make that new day a positive, productive, happy day. We owe to ourselves to try and have a good day. One that will end with a feeling of gratitude or satisfaction that we did the best that we could with the hours of the day we had. I've learned to think a certain way as soon as I become awake every morning. After all..in order to change our lives we have to change our thinking. For the better of course. So every morning before I even get out of bed, I immediately think to myself "..I will have a positive and productive day.." Its a form of self talk that I've grown accustomed to doing. Best of all it works well when we're at a stage of our lives of uncertaintly or unclarity. For things to be better in our lives, so we don't feel bad or sad every time we start a new day, we have to see our reality for what it truly is for each of us individually. Even when things arise that we feel we have no control over. The way we deal with it will make all the difference in how we feel. If things don't seem to be working out for us then its time to re-evaluate the way we are living. We should do this in order to find out where we should begin to make changes so we can carry on with a better outlook about our lives.

"..don't throw in the towel!.."

If we keep blaming everything on situations or circumstances then what we are really saying to ourselves is that we have no control over our thinking or lives. We've gotten to a point where we either "think" we can't change or we don't "want" to make the effort to change. That kind of mindset can and usually does lead to negative feelings, thoughts and outcomes. I've also learned that failure should not be looked upon as a negative. Why? Because if we didn't fail then how would we know what or where to change things for the better? We wouldn't. We would just keep going along the way we're going. Thinking that nothing will ever be better or different for us in our lives. So the next time you fail at something, instead of throwing in the towel, try to look at that failure from a different perspective. Think to yourself.."what can I do to make the outcome be more positive or successful?" Look back at the situation that caused you to fail in the first place, see it for what it is and try going about whatever it was you were trying to accomplish, from a different angle. It might surprise you to find that by looking at your situation from a different perspective was just what you needed to make the task (or situation)positive and successful.

Money as a Tool is Essential.

Failure is only fatal when we deem it so. The way we perceive things and what we do about things that come about in our daily lives will be the compass to how happy or how miserable we will feel. Alot of people allow material things to be the base of their happiness. Especially money. No doubt money (when used as a tool) helps us to have the essentials for living i.e. food, our electric bill, house payment, our car payment, our insurance, clothes etc. What I find is that even though people usually have enough money to pay for these essentials, (or they have assistance) people always want or need more. Thats because money has become the most important factor for alot of people. There's nothing wrong with having the desire to make more money in order to live better. But when it comes to being so preoccupied with making money that you forget the true quality of living, that is a problem. We malfunction. Like a robot that is overloaded with too much to process. We can forget about the important things in life i.e. our families, helping others, the beauty of nature, the small things we do that really count and gives us feelings of gratitude or fullfilment. All in all in our pursuit of happiness we should never forget the things that matter. No matter how small they may be. In keeping to this way of thinking, we can be more balanced in all the phases of our lives.

"Don't Allow Your Failures To Hold You Down"

Everyone at one time or another will fail at something. Its just the way the cycle of living is. What we have to realize about failure is that we can learn from it and actually use it as a tool to make things turn out better for each of us. Learning this lesson early on in life is essential to creating a productive, successful path for our lives. Unfortunately some people won't learn this until they are older and have been through some negative experiences. We try to cushion the stress or hurt we may have experienced by buffering the emotional pain with drugs, alcohol or other forms of addiction. Which because we are creatures of habit, usually turns into an addiction. Although this is a difficult stage for people to go through, they can still come out of it, be free of it and not rely on artificial stimuli to help them cope. Besides, people miss so much when in the haze of addiction. I never knew how much I truly missed until I became free of my addictions. It was as if I was standing on a mountain cliff and I saw the sunrise for the first time. I mean to genuinely have laughter because I honestly felt happy was an awakening I'll never let go of. So if you're feeling down about the way you see your life and you're not sure of what to do to improve your life. Try looking at things differently from a different perspective. Sometimes a small change in how you think can make a huge difference. Enjoy the day.


Copyright(c)2012.Failure Should not be Looked Upon as a Negative.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.         

The Holidays are Among Us

Well everyone the holidays are upon us once again. This year just flew by didn't it?  With the holidays comes some temptations and triggers for alot of us. That eggnog sure looks goods. Party times are everywhere. For those who are working on staying clean and not falling for temptation to our addictions, this post is for you.

At work, with friends, with family...there are moments when we question our sobriety. We may even go as far as to think, "it's the holidays...it's only once a year, why not?"...or sure having "one" drink isn't bad. Even to think, smoking alittle tainted weed won't hurt. Some of us might even be tempted by some friends that will say; "Come on...it's just one line."  Friends we really shouldn't be around in the first place, but sometimes it happens.

This is where everything you know about staying clean/sober will come into action. Whatever you do...don't give into temptation. Don't be fooled by the thought of; "it's only once a year."  What happens when we do fall from grace of sobriety is the "domino effect."  Not to say that some folks can't say "No thanks!" to the occassional invitation to use.   

But for those who are tempted or think about using, you must be strong!  Just as a giant snowball starts out very small, so does our relapse. So have a soda or seltzer with lime, walk away from those who are using drugs at that party. Of course if you do relapse...that doesn't mean you have to stop your recovery all together. You may feel guilty about relapsing but don't fret...you can always reclaim your sobriety again.

Of course that doesn't mean it's ok for you to use once in awhile...it isn't.  The whole concept of getting clean/sober and staying that way is the resolve you want from your recovery. Alot of the time we relapse due to the influences around us. So you might want to consider who you are associated with. In recovery it's wise to stop associating with certain people because they become toxic to our recovery. I call these people 'toxic-friends'. 

Remember...a true friend  would understand that you are cleaning up your act and they won't try to influence you to use. A  true friend   won't use drugs or alcohol when they come around you. You might want to keep that in mind when you are around people you consider friends that are not clean or sober. Of course we as addicts will find ourselves thinking, "Gee...I need a drink to have a good time."  I struggle with this one all the time.

But once you realize that this in only the addiction talking, it helps to get rid of the craving. Get yourself a non alcoholic drink and just let that feeling go, get into the activity or create one. This way you won't have time to just sit there and think about getting high. Have a wonderful holiday everyone!

Enjoy the day.  :)

Written by; Sherrie Vitello

A Wonderful Quote from Celeste Vitello, Author of the Book: Through This Addicts Eyes. " When the pain of getting high is greater than the fear of getting clean, it's time to change."

Do you believe in Love at first sight?.....

Ahhh...love, there's nothing better. When you're in "love" life is better, sex is better, company is better, all things are wonderful. We kind of float on air. Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah....it's impossible to be in love with someone at first sight.(right?). First off humans are attracted by what they see, so looks are the first thing we notice, then there is the way someone smells (meaning the pheromones) believe it or not, we spend billions of dollars each year trying to find ways to smell more attractive to the opposite sex. Some cultures in other countries would rather have their own body scent instead of dabbing on alittle scent enhancer like, cologne or perfume. 

The color of ones eyes or hair play as factors of attraction but once in love with someone, does the color of their eyes or hair really matter? Really? The way a person carries themselves, the character of the person and so on are also factors in what makes someone attractive and what we love about someone. My mother use to say "...the greater the need, the greater the love..." I'm not saying a person can't love out of need, but even that type of love takes time to cultivate and nurture. I think we all have need of some kind, whether male or female. It's impossible for anyone to know someone so well at first sight that they immediately fall in love. Perhaps what we're really falling for is the outward appearance of what we first see.
       
Although that may be the first indication that we are attracted to someone, it's not the best time to pledge ones heart without getting to know that person first. Have you ever met someone that was so pretty or so handsome they seemed magical? Then they began to speak and as soon as they opened their mouth and mind you saw their intellect, values or morals, and it made you want to get away from that person as fast as you could? That's why you can't have "love at first sight". Lust at first site for sure, but not true love.  Many people think you can have love at first sight...these are the people that usually end up...broke up.

Now maybe...once in a blue-moon you might be fortunate enough to find that one person in a million that you will get along with immediately and just know this is the one for you. But sorry romantics...that is too far and few between. I suggest getting to know the person well before you start with the "I love you's". Too many people make the mistake of thinking lust is love...then when that gets old, people are left heart-broken, so don't make that mistake, unless you can read minds...there is no such thing as actual "love at first sight."

Of course if you're looking for just a casual, fun, shallow relationship, that's fine, but be sure you're on the level about that with the other person. That way you both have an understanding as to what to expect in the relationship and no one get's hurt. Another example is: have you ever met a person that you thought was incredibly good-looking, drop-dead gorgeous and you think you're "in-love" really "in-love", then you start getting to know that person and you find out that they're about as compatible with you as you would be compatible sleeping with a catcus.

All I'm saying is if you're looking to be "in love" true love...take time to get to know yourself first, then you'll be able to recognize what you would like to have in a partner. Be honest with yourself and your love interest. Love them for who they are not for what you can change them into. These are key to enduring the tests of time and for achieving a lasting relationship. And don't be in such a rush to find true love, believe me you'll find it, and when it's right...you'll know. Enjoy the Day!
Written by: Sherrie Vitello

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