How You See Yourself Reflects Onto Others.

Look in your mirror.  Go on.. have a look.  What do you see?  Who is starring back at you?  When you look at yourself are you looking at only your reflection?  Only how nice you look?  Do you take a moment to look deeper then only what you see on the surface?  We want to see how we appear on the outside to other people.  People for the most part use the mirror only to checkout their look. Is the hair just right?  Do the clothes look good?  Does this make me look fat?  Is the makeup too much, too little or just right?  Are you handsome?  Anything in my nose?  Everyone does this to give ourselves confidence to go about our day.  But what about those times when you look at yourself in the mirror and you don't feel good about what you see?  You feel depressed or down about yourself or things going on in your life.  You don't think you look nice at all.  We are usually too self absorbed to realize how this feeling can look towards other people.  Which in turn only makes you feel worse about yourself.  There is much more going on with your reflection than you may know.  Did you know that other people whom you associate with like those at your job or in your class are like your mirror?  They will reflect you.

A simple concept, yet one that many people are either unwilling, or unable, to grasp.  Your emotions, your traits and your feelings are reflected back at you from other people.  Either through in-kind responses or through predictable reactions to the emotions or feelings that you're projecting.  Most of the time our feelings going on with ourselves projects outward to others around us. You can sense this when we meet someone for the first time and we may feel a "negitive vibe" from that person. They could be having a bad day themselves and they are just in a negative state of mind.  Altho' first impressions may cause us to draw a conclusion about someone like that.  Passing judgement wouldn't really be accurate.  This is due to how that person feels within themselves and it projects outward to others they may come in contact with.  Now a lot of people have developed the ability to put their best foot forward.  Even when things may not be so positive for them.  This is a good trait because what you think about within will project outward and show on the surface.

Altho' there are people that carry themselves as if everything is great in their lives.  Only to feel totally different when they are by themselves.  These kind of feelings should be addressed because there is something more going on they should resolve or change.  If you have to falsify feeling good you should assess what is wrong in your life and change it.  I'm talking about being real here. True feelings and how they effect others and reflect you.  You will project what you're feeling inside.  People who seem oblivious to these kinds of senses are usually so absorbed in what they are doing that they miss it.  So when you look in that mirror next time.  Get in close, look deeper and make a detemination of yourself that you are capable.  You can decide how your day will go. You will have a positive productive day.  Even though absurdities and negatives come into our day no matter how positive we are.  The key to maintaining a positive healthy reflection is by not giving any negative events any power.  Handle any problem with the best positive resolve you can, stay positive and if you catch the right moment, offer a pleasant positive comment to someone who may be experiencing a negative day.

For most people hearing kindness from someone can give them hope and make them feel better. Believe it or not, once you realize the power of positive re-enforcement, this can be helpful to someone who could use the positive boost in their life at that moment.  It is also great feedback for ourselves.  When was the last time you told yourself that you respect, trust and love yourself and you have worth and value as a human being?  Try this while looking in your own eyes.  Do you think you need another person to give you that?  You don't.  When we learn to love and trust ourselves we begin to care more about what we do, what is good to keep in our lives, what to change for the better and how our outlook changes our own perception of ourselves and our lives.  We allow ourselves to feel good about who we are as a human being.  We are no longer concerned about what others may think.  After all what others think about us is their business not ours.  We find that we can do a lot more things than we thought because we gave ourselves the chance to prove it by developing our own belief and support system from within.  And when you look in the mirror, we no longer think how we look to others.  We think how good we feel and how wonderful of a day we'll have. What the days experience will teach us.  What positive reflection I can share with others.  You will feel a self assurance and confidence about yourself.

Thats the key; embracing who you are and allowing yourself the beautiful spiritual being that is alive within you.  You will reflect your thoughts and shine on the outside when you allow truth to unfold within.  Its all about embracing who you are, acknowledging any faults, excepting what cannot be changed, and letting go, releasing negatives instead of holding onto them.  They will only cause you grief and harm.  Negative thoughts are empty energy that only zaps your positive outlook. It is quite easy to go through your entire life and never develop the skill of spotting yourself being reflected in other people.  Any development in this area will improve your self-insight, your self trust and your relations with others. Happy life day.

Copyright(c)2015. How You See Yourself  Reflects Unto Others.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

TRUST - Is it Given or is it Earned?

Trust. Some would say its an emotion while others may say its a logical reference in how we feel towards another person. Then some would say it is both. But what and where does it actually stem from. When we meet someone new some people will use their first impression of that person as their directive to trust that person or not. No doubt sometimes those first impression are very accurate. We tend not to trust people right away. Then there is the other side to that. We may think that someone is not to be trusted or they seem unpleasant when in reality, this person has just lost a loved one, or perhaps they are having financial problems or someone just robbed their house, you get my drift. When these things happen to us none of us feel really good at that moment. Sometimes it can take a few days for the negative feelings to pass. Unless its down right obvious I don't think first impressions hold much worth when it comes to making a permanent conclusion about a person. When we trust ourselves we can trust others. This occurs because we know we will be alright even if that trust we've given to someone else was a let down.

Iyanla VanSant defines this perfectly when she wrote the following in her book: Until Today!  She states: "Trust is based on your ability to stand your ground and rely on your own abilities, knowing that no matter what happens, you will be better off than you were at the beginning.  Anything less than this is not trust."  Just think about that for a moment. That is a perfect definition of trust. So what about that saying; "trust is not a given, trust is earned."  Some would declare that statement as the holy grail saying for trust.  It is very accurate, no doubt. When we meet a person we tend not to trust them for fear of being lied to, let down or hurt by them.  We automatically grab hold of that holy grail saying in order to shield ourselves.  Our apprehension to trust is rooted on feelings of insecurity and ego.  While our ability to trust is founded in feelings of safety and acceptance. So when those lines are crossed we are left with emotional wounds that scar over to create a tuff emotional shield which we rely on to protect us over and over again. What happens when we rely on this shield is it tends to also create a distrust within ourselves.  The soul essence that we call trust resides within us. We decide to trust and what we have decided to believe is reflected.

Rhino represents fear, uncertainty, untrust.
Child represents all of us. Children of the
universe. 

We tend to be so wrapped up in ourselves, so self referencing, so insecure that we are driven to protect our ego's without question.  While instead we should allow and embrace trusting.  As we learn to trust more within ourselves we grow and become more confident, sure footed and above all happy.  There should always be a balance of trust that we give and trust that is earned.  In keeping to this balance it allows us to experience true essence of trust and to deflect the negatives that mistrust can cause us.  One thing is for sure there is most likely more positive experiences to come about when we trust ourselves and when we allow ourselves to trust others. When we feed our own trust and allow it to present itself, it will flourish in our lives and our spirit.  While on the other hand if we feed our own trust with poison of negativity, fear, resentment, then our trust will crust over and harden. Which will in turn lead us through our lives with fear, no base of assurance and no true self love or true happiness.  Because our thoughts create form on some level within. All that our physical experience is, is the reflection of our thoughts.  Enjoy the day.  

Copyright(c)2015. TRUST - Is it Given or is it Earned?Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.  

Thoughts For Living

Staying in an angry state of mind serves us no purpose and clouds our potential.  However anger can help us to become motivated.  It can help us make a move to resolve something that needs to be fixed now.  Its more beneficial for our mind, body and spirit to rid ourselves of anger and not dwell in that emotion.  Because even tho' it can be a motivator for us to make a move, it can also cause harm and destructive outcomes IF we don't check it at that door.  

The next time you're angry about something, be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you have brought the cause of the emotion on yourself.  By not doing what you should have done from the start.  You may also ask yourself what is it that I should be learning as to why I'm feeling this way?  After all life is a journey of learning for everyone.  Contrary to belief we should never permit ourselves to retreat from the lessons of life, no matter how insignificant or huge things may seem.  

No one ever learns to know everything.  Get passed the desensitizing of social indifference and the overkill drama the media is feeding you.  Get past the lies of what you're being told is really important but isn't.  Most importantly get over yourself.  We are designed from one base root system that allows for many characteristics, colors, shapes and sizes.  But we are of one divine consciousness.  Our purpose in life is not just to leave a path of good for others to follow, but to learn to think with a higher level of purpose.  To learn to live in peace, with love and harmony.  Even if you only find this within yourself.  Enjoy the day.

Copyright(c)2015.ThoughtsForLiving.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Get Serious About Keeping A Healthy Weight - Change Your Mind Set.

When we begin our journey of making changes to better our lifestyle lets look at some ways to live healthier happier lives. Its important to create a blueprint of what you want to achieve. In doing so you can edit it whenever you wish. This will help you keep on top of all the things you want to achieve and need to do to reach your goals. Diet and body weight are related to our health status. Good nutrition is important to the growth and development of children and keeping all of us at our healthy best. A healthy diet and keeping to an exercise routine, from walk-running to yoga, also helps Americans reduce their risks for many health conditions, including:

• Overweight and Obesity
• Malnutrition
• Heart Disease
• High Blood Pressure
• Type 2 Diabetes
• Some Cancers
• Fatigue and Lacking Energy
• Inability to sleep well
• ...and many other health issues

Because weight is influenced by energy (calories) consumed and expended, interventions to improve weight can support changes in diet or physical activity. Doing some research about how you are caring for your body and the foods you ingest are a good way to assess your own bodies condition. This can help enhance and change individuals' knowledge and skills, reduce exposure to foods low in nutritional value and high in calories, or increase opportunities for physical activity.

One thing is for sure, when we become active and responsible about the health of our bodies we learn to fuel it with good calories, energy and lasting health. What people need to do is see themselves in a state of observance. Meaning instead of seeing yourself as a body with a soul, look at yourself as a soul with a body. Learn to appreciate and take care of your body and it will take care of you. Healthy mind and the body will follow. That saying: You are what you eat, is more valid than you may think it is. Its like filling up your vehicle with lousy gas and expecting it to run at its best. It will sputter, run slower, stall and cause you more headaches' than you should have in your life. Where as if you fill your vehicle with good, clean gas it will run smoother, longer and have less wear and tear on its engine. Well the body isn't much different when it comes to that principle. Feed it poorly and you'll get poor results. Feed it healthy and you'll get healthy stronger results.

The keys to maintaining optimal health are as follows. Individuals who eat the recommended 5 or more servings of fruit and vegetables per day are less likely to be overweight or obese and less likely to suffer chronic disease. Fruit and veggies are our bodies cleaners. They are vital to good health and preventing many diseases. Instead of reaching for those salty or sugary snacks, reach for those fruits and veggies. You can eat as much as you like of them so long as you don't add in abunch of unhealthy additives such as dressings, sauces, too much salt and sugar. Stop eating all those processed foods too. They may taste good but beware.. they aren't good for your body. Have you checked out the ingredients label on those processed foods. Its ridiculous! Due to all the chemicals, additives, preservatives, etc that these foods are made with, its no wonder you feel lethargic and fatigued. A key rule to rely on when looking for healthy foods to eat is: If you can't pronounce it don't eat it!  

A key point to remember. When buying fruits and veggies, try to buy organic fruits and veggies. They are cleaner foods and have none or much less pesticides and are never GMO - genetically modified organism foods. Its also very important to hydrate your body. I'm not talking about drinking soda, coffee, teas, artificially flavored drinks etc. I'm talking about the one main substance that is the elixir of life. Did you know that the majority of illnesses that lead to serious health issues are created by not being hydrated? That most people in our society and probably around the world are chronically dehydrated? According to healthgrades.com and other medical resources researched, the following information is vital as to the state of dehydration and why its so important to make it a habit of drinking more clean, filtered water as a daily routine. Dehydration is an abnormal condition in which the body's cells are deprived of an adequate amount of water.

                                                                                                                     

Water and fluids make up about 90% of fluids throughout the body. Its distributed throughout muscles, bones, organs, tissues, cells, spinal and cerebral-fluids and plasma throughout the body and is crucial to many of the body's processes. Dehydration negatively affects important bodily functions, including toxin elimination, delivery of nutrients and oxygen to the cells of the body, energy production, and joint lubrication. Severe dehydration affects every body system and can also impact the proper balance of vital electrolytes. Sodium and potassium are electrolytes essential to healthy functioning of the body and critical processes, such as muscle function and a normal heart rhythm. Complications of severe dehydration can be serious and life threatening and include shock, coma and death. Dehydration is categorized as mild, moderate or severe, based on the extent of the body’s fluid loss. Moderate and severe dehydration can be a life-threatening emergency.

Infants, children, athletes and the elderly are particularly prone to dehydration and severe complications, although dehydration can occur in any age group or population. You can learn to make your own electrolyte drink so there won't be all those chemicals in it. Or you can simply add a lemon slice to your water for more flavor. Get creative with the many ways you can drink water with flavors organically. Its really amazing all of the flavors you can create and enjoy which are truly healthy for your body. But you have to change your thinking about drinking more water. Its only because the manufacturers came up with all sorts of artificial flavored drinks with way too much sugar, that you may think you don't like water. Change your thinking, change your life.

And of course a BIG part of feeling our best is to exercise. Develop an exercise routine that works for you. You may have to experiment with different types of exercise routines before you find the one that works well for you. But either way.. get a routine going. The more you do this the more it will become habit, a good habit. People have a misconception and think that if they are on their feet throughout their workday that they don't need to exercise. This is far from truth. If you are some one who is on your feet all day you still need to "unwind" or "de-stress" after work. You may not have to do a routine that targets weightloss as much for someone who sits all day at work. But a routine that de-stresses the mind and body is key to better health. If you are someone who sits most of the time at work an exercise routine that will target weightloss is key for you to achieve better health. Whichever routine you choose, any one of them will benefit your body, mind and spirit. You just have to get started. Have courage and commit to a balanced way of living. Your journey of making changes to better your lifestyle is well within your reach. Some research information and excepts have be taken from www.healthgrades.com/conditions/dehydration . Enjoy the day.

Copyright(c)2014.Get Serious About Keeping A Healthy Weight-Change Your Mind Set.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.  

Weightloss?...This is a Lifestyle Change.

I was watching one of those tv-infomercials the other morning about exercising to lose weight. I couldn't help notice how hard the narrator was trying to get the point across of how much weight you could lose. They would show a woman that was about 5'4", 200lbs. and after just 3 months of using this certain exercise video, she lost 65lbs. Really??... For anyone of us out there trying to lose weight, (who isn't?), please don't stress out over the bs these informercials try to shove down our throats.  Just 3 months huh? 

It'll take most of us 3 months just to get the routine down, let alone doing the routine as coordinated and as fast as they show in the informercial. Believe me I know, I've tried. Plus...why is it that they only show young people?  I mean don't things start heading south after age 40?...Geez!  Ok I'm getting off my point here. Back to the point I'm trying to make. I know in this world everyone is trying to make money using those not too realistic infomercials and advertising. But come on, surely you know that most of those products don't do half of what they state. Plus some of those products are too expensive.

So what can we do to lose the weight and not lose our minds in the process?  For one, with the availability of computers and technology, we have access to all sorts of information. Thats the one thing we should take advantage of here. Taking a few minutes to obtain information about the things that can help us achieve what we are setting out to achieve. If you can afford to go to a dietician, then go get accessed and work out an eating plan that works for you. On the way home, DO NOT stop by the local store for any snacks. One thing I've learned in my journey of losing this middle-aged alien fat is we have to work on what works for us.

If you just listen to all these exercise guru's that tell you 10 different things, you will surely get discouraged. Although we all have the same body parts, inside our bodies can be very different from each other. Due to our bodies make up and our emotional state of mind. Metabolsm, heredity, ability to burn fat, motivation, attitude etc. It's not like you can go on a diet, exercise for a few months when you're feeling up to it and achieve the body shape you're looking for. You have to realize that this is a lifestyle change NOT a short journey.   

You can't do a lifestyle change for a few months. It's exactly what it says it is..."life style."  Look at what you're eating. Ask yourself, do I eat too much fried foods?  Am I stopping by too many fast food restaurants for a quick lunch? Do you tell yourself, "I don't have the time to make a healthy lunch."  Really??... Well ask yourself this, "How much do I care about my health now, in 10, 20, or 30 years from now?"  Are you one of those people that say, "Awww, I'll worry about 10, 20, or 30 years from now when I get there." Well guess what?  Everything you do for your bodies health now...will benefit you greatly in those 10 to 30 years from now.

That's right. If you change to eating healthy, learn about those foods that burn fat, increases the metabolism, foods that help prevent deseases, don't eat fried foods, eat brightly colored veggies and fruits, stop eating at those fast food restaurants, you won't only add years to your life span, you'll add healthy years.  Of course this is not an easy task. So start with changing how you see yourself. Learn to love and respect yourself. When I look at myself in the mirror, which I'm not particularly fond of doing, I see that I need to keep working at my body. I know I have a few more pounds to lose, I'm not bathing suit ready.

But the difference is my attitude about myself has changed.  I no longer look away in discouragement or disgust. I look and see some improvement, some weight loss and I smile. I tell myself I'm doing good, I'm feeling better about me, and thats what I hold on to, that keeps me motivated. Oh and if I were you, get into the habit of not using the bathroom scale. As you get into exercising regularly you'll start to build muscle and muscle weighs more than fat, so if you step on the scale and you've gained instead of lost weight but you've been working your food program and exercising regularly, don't despair. 

As your routine gets more involved and your body starts to respond to your new lifestyle, you'll see the changes in your body, it won't happen overnight, but it does come. Without a doubt, your body will change and you will lose that excess weight.  But remember, be fair to yourself, don't have unrealistic expectations about how long a period of time it will take. Experience shows when we commit to ourselves and we are determined to achieve what we have set out to do, things have a way of working in our favor. So what ever you do, don't stop. It's when things seem their toughest that we must not give up.  Enjoy the day!

Written by: Sherrie Vitello

Parents and The Addict-Child

Parents blame themselves alot of the time when their child has been found out to be using drugs or alcohol. We wonder 'what did we do wrong?'...'didn't we love our child enough?'...'was it the way I lived my life?' Sometimes this can cause a parent so much stress that they begin using just to keep the guilt away.  Of course, that's not the normal reaction, but it does happen. A parent can begin to feel affraid of their own child. But with diligence, honesty, and reaching out for help, a parent can find ways to help their child.

Often when a child is using they isolate themselves, they withdraw from family. From friends who don't use. They begin to lie to their parents. They can even steal from family members, friends, from work, even from strangers. An addict does these things because the greatest fear an addict has is not being able to feed their addiction. Don't get me wrong not all addicts steal, but there is a majority that do things that they would never do when clean and sober. It can become a nightmare for both addict and the parents.

As the addict-child begins sinking into their down fall of addiction, they may overdose themselves, they have seen friends overdose or maybe even die. They begin to justify why they use. The addict-child will convince themselves that they cannot live without their drug of choice. They convince themselves that their addiction makes their lives feel right. But that's just the addiction taking over. The addicts family feels powerless as well. Eventually the addict will lose everything, they could even get arrested, or end up in the hospital. Hitting bottom is the term for this.

What can a parent do?  It's not an easy ride, that's for sure. Once a parent is sure that their child is using, onething a parent can do is NOT become an enabler. Seek help for dealing with addictions that can be utilized and can help a parent cope and deal with this problem. Their are many resources in our communities that can assist in getting your child back on the right track. But be honest about this to yourself, the child, now an addict will probably go kicking and screaming. It may even take several attempts before the addict-child will see the light. But be diligent, don't give up. Their addiction is usually the addict-childs only way of crying out for help.
Note: These resolves can also help adult-addicts get the help they need.

Written by: Sherrie Vitello

Self Healing

Self  Healing begins when we except the fact that what we are doing to ourselves in our lives is not working out the way we would truly want them to. Whatever negative things you are doing to yourself, your body, your spirit has an effect on the other decisions you make in your life. If you're hung up on your past because you have had wrong things happen to you or you carry guilt due to some wrong things you may have done, you need to realize that the only way you can change those negative feelings is to let the things go that you can't make ammends to. You are living in the here and now and that opens up untold possibilities for new growth. 

Our inner self is enticed in new directions when our attention is fully in the present. When our minds are still on last night's argument or tommorrow's board meeting, we wear blinders to the activity at hand. Every single moment has something for us. Maybe a new piece of information, a piece that solves a problem that's been puzzling us. Perhaps a chance to make a new friend, one that will be there in a time of need. Letting go of yesterday frees us. We need not be burdened. It is gone. Our lives could be eased, so much, if we kept our focus on the experience at hand, where the problems we ponder have their solutions. Always. 

Being open to the present is our only chance for growth. These experiences today in our lives beckon us forward along the path meant for us. We are not guaranteed only joy today. But we are promised security. We may not be free of twinges of fear or confusion, but we can learn to trust even in the midst of adversity. We can remember that power greater than ourselves, whenever and wherever our steps are uncertain. Dwelling on our rebuffs, our rejections, invites further criticism. Attention to now and to the person here, now, is the only rightful response to life. Not being here, now, invites others to turn away, just as we have turned away.

   
If we listen to ourselves, to the innermost voice of our spirits, we know that we have the power to heal ourselves. Self-healing begins with making our own decisions about what we wear, what we do, who we are and deciding that we will be true to ourselves. With the help of our spiritual guide or higher power, we can resist the temptations to betray ourselves, for these temptations are born of fear; the fear that we are not good enough to be our "own physicians."  To except things that you cannot change, the power to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. To give away our powers binds us and causes us to suffer. But we can go to others for help without losing our own strength.


Written by Sherrie Vitello
Excerpts taken from the wonderful book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey.

The Battle From Within

When I was a younger person, wild and full of life, I never thought of being older. I figured "then" it was to far away from me. For now at this point of my younger life I was not only young, bolder, vibrant and strong, I could not see the side of myself that would be my downfall.  What force could there be but my own. Nothing could harness the strong, able frame I've become. I could run, run far and strong, like a prancing horse on an open plain, then only to be settle and wait for another day. 

I could not be held, forced or driven to anything but by my own will. As I grew older I thought, how could I get ahead with my life, how can I make the grade. I thought nothing could harness my ambition. Nothing could...but something did. I grew emotionally crippled and fearful. I hadn't realized that I created my own monster. In many shades this monster came. In many forms it feasted on my spirit.

I could not lock it away or hide it from view. My shame although hidden, weighed me down like a ball and chain. I had to face my monster and deplete it of it's strength, so I could slay it, stop it, stamp it out of my mind, body and soul. I fought with all my inner strength and I reached down inside for more. More strength!  I allowed hate to take over.

I hated what this monster was doing to me, how it changed me. It's a trickster and gave me a false sense of self and security. My hatred for this monster became my motivation, so strong until I could wrench this monster off my back. I was sickened by the thoughts that filled my mind of how I once clinged to the effects this monster gave me. For a moment...I thought I can't live without it. I was wrong.

Once I had knocked the monster off, pushed it away, it took everything I had to grab hold, shake it loose, strangle it from my life and kill it's desire to destroy me from the inside out. Get rid of it's desire, once and for all. I've made it through the struggle, I've climbed out of the valley of self annhilation. The road I once trudged is no longer. I can stand up straight and carry myself with dignity. I can wake up free! No more monster on my back. I've beaten it

I now realized the power of my will. I now have a shield around me. The desire to destroy a monster before it destroys me. As hard as this was to accomplish I only had to reach down within myself and make the effort count. Stay true to my self discipline. Take heed to the words of others wisdom. Take pride in the strides of accomplishments. No matter how small, they all count.  So in other words, for those of you out there trying to stay clean, going to meetings, going to detox, don't quit...ever! Sometimes it may take 2 or 3 tries before getting it right...maybe even more, but you will get it right so long as you keep trying to change for the better. 
Enjoy the day!
Written by Sherrie Vitello