How You See Yourself Reflects Onto Others.

Look in your mirror.  Go on.. have a look.  What do you see?  Who is starring back at you?  When you look at yourself are you looking at only your reflection?  Only how nice you look?  Do you take a moment to look deeper then only what you see on the surface?  We want to see how we appear on the outside to other people.  People for the most part use the mirror only to checkout their look. Is the hair just right?  Do the clothes look good?  Does this make me look fat?  Is the makeup too much, too little or just right?  Are you handsome?  Anything in my nose?  Everyone does this to give ourselves confidence to go about our day.  But what about those times when you look at yourself in the mirror and you don't feel good about what you see?  You feel depressed or down about yourself or things going on in your life.  You don't think you look nice at all.  We are usually too self absorbed to realize how this feeling can look towards other people.  Which in turn only makes you feel worse about yourself.  There is much more going on with your reflection than you may know.  Did you know that other people whom you associate with like those at your job or in your class are like your mirror?  They will reflect you.

A simple concept, yet one that many people are either unwilling, or unable, to grasp.  Your emotions, your traits and your feelings are reflected back at you from other people.  Either through in-kind responses or through predictable reactions to the emotions or feelings that you're projecting.  Most of the time our feelings going on with ourselves projects outward to others around us. You can sense this when we meet someone for the first time and we may feel a "negitive vibe" from that person. They could be having a bad day themselves and they are just in a negative state of mind.  Altho' first impressions may cause us to draw a conclusion about someone like that.  Passing judgement wouldn't really be accurate.  This is due to how that person feels within themselves and it projects outward to others they may come in contact with.  Now a lot of people have developed the ability to put their best foot forward.  Even when things may not be so positive for them.  This is a good trait because what you think about within will project outward and show on the surface.

Altho' there are people that carry themselves as if everything is great in their lives.  Only to feel totally different when they are by themselves.  These kind of feelings should be addressed because there is something more going on they should resolve or change.  If you have to falsify feeling good you should assess what is wrong in your life and change it.  I'm talking about being real here. True feelings and how they effect others and reflect you.  You will project what you're feeling inside.  People who seem oblivious to these kinds of senses are usually so absorbed in what they are doing that they miss it.  So when you look in that mirror next time.  Get in close, look deeper and make a detemination of yourself that you are capable.  You can decide how your day will go. You will have a positive productive day.  Even though absurdities and negatives come into our day no matter how positive we are.  The key to maintaining a positive healthy reflection is by not giving any negative events any power.  Handle any problem with the best positive resolve you can, stay positive and if you catch the right moment, offer a pleasant positive comment to someone who may be experiencing a negative day.

For most people hearing kindness from someone can give them hope and make them feel better. Believe it or not, once you realize the power of positive re-enforcement, this can be helpful to someone who could use the positive boost in their life at that moment.  It is also great feedback for ourselves.  When was the last time you told yourself that you respect, trust and love yourself and you have worth and value as a human being?  Try this while looking in your own eyes.  Do you think you need another person to give you that?  You don't.  When we learn to love and trust ourselves we begin to care more about what we do, what is good to keep in our lives, what to change for the better and how our outlook changes our own perception of ourselves and our lives.  We allow ourselves to feel good about who we are as a human being.  We are no longer concerned about what others may think.  After all what others think about us is their business not ours.  We find that we can do a lot more things than we thought because we gave ourselves the chance to prove it by developing our own belief and support system from within.  And when you look in the mirror, we no longer think how we look to others.  We think how good we feel and how wonderful of a day we'll have. What the days experience will teach us.  What positive reflection I can share with others.  You will feel a self assurance and confidence about yourself.

Thats the key; embracing who you are and allowing yourself the beautiful spiritual being that is alive within you.  You will reflect your thoughts and shine on the outside when you allow truth to unfold within.  Its all about embracing who you are, acknowledging any faults, excepting what cannot be changed, and letting go, releasing negatives instead of holding onto them.  They will only cause you grief and harm.  Negative thoughts are empty energy that only zaps your positive outlook. It is quite easy to go through your entire life and never develop the skill of spotting yourself being reflected in other people.  Any development in this area will improve your self-insight, your self trust and your relations with others. Happy life day.

Copyright(c)2015. How You See Yourself  Reflects Unto Others.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Thought For Living In The Moment.

"The secret of health for mind and body
is not to mourn for the past,
not too worry about the future,
or not to anticipate troubles,
but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."  
-Buddha          

THIS BODY

This amazing machine, with millions of cells, bone, muscle, and a top coat referred to as tissue is strong even as it ages. Fragile yet resilient to the radicals of everyday wear and tear. Care for this body everyday and be grateful that this body is as strong as it is. Love it even more because this body has carried you through all of life's events and trials and still has come out on top. As fragile as this body is, it is also as strong. Be grateful for this body for it has carried us through all of our experiences. Keep this body healthy, strong and nurtured and it will do for us as we do upon it. Like so many bodies, some are similar, some are leaner, some are fatter, some are younger, some are older. Although there are many like this body this one is yours. So care for this body with all of your heart because this body is forgiving. It can heal from all of the abuse that we have exposed it to.

When we're too foolish to realize how important, how wonderful, how necessary this body truly is. Like life itself we should all appreciate our bodies. We should care for them as if they were on loan to us from our creators because in essence they are for that period of time we call our lives. And as we look upon this body, it may no longer have those lean lines it did 20 or 30 years ago. It may no longer look as tight as it did when this body could turn the eyes of many. This body may not have that chisled chest or carved arms but this body is still strong. This body wakes up everyday ready to take us through the day. So long as this body is taken care of it can last for many more years to come. Along the way we may have injured this body and yet it came back and healed for us. Looking upon this body it will slowly fade, losing tone and luster but love this body even moreso. Like a true friend it has never let you down. It has always been there for you, through thick and thin.

We may feel a little guilty because we know we haven't cared for this body as we should. And yet this body still holds us up and carries our spirit which is our true essence of existence. And one day we all will have to leave this body behind and move on to another form. But for now be grateful for this body even if its not the perfect shape or size you believe it should be. Think of this body as your vessel that harbors your true self. It has protected you from many things so care for this body through all of life's seasons. It will be there for you and still carry you. See beyond the useless ego's, self indulgences and conceit for that moment allow your true self to see this body as your chariot to carry you through all of the events that come with living. This body is the only one you have and caring for it will in turn save you from many unwanted issues. Most of which are self sabotaged and self induced. More than anything else we should humbly love this body for all of its magnificence. How well this body lives is up to you.

Copyright(c)2014.THIS BODY. Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Living An Unhappy Life - The Causes and Effects.

Someone once said - "There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living." (Author Unkown)

A dear friend sent me this parable the other day and its been on my mind ever since. I keep seeing how it relates so well to those that are struggling with their happiness. What are the causes of them living an  unhappy life?  No matter what we say to those we care about, who are at a bad time in their life, its so hard sometimes to make one see a better way. Its actually heart wrenching to know that someone we love and care about is living a life of self destruction. So much so that they can't even see their own way out of it. What can we do for them? We can offer them support and guidance, hoping that it may help them, but unless these people change from within nothing we do will really help. Whatever our loved one may be suffering from that makes their lives miserable, the actual cause of it we can despise, but we shouldn't despise that person who is suffering from it. It could be happening to anyone of us. 

Even when we've tried so hard to help someone we care about that is struggling in their lives we eventually get that sinking feeling inside that we can't do anything more for them. We can find ourselves feeling at a loss, what do we do now? No one has the right answer here because we can't control people, not really. Unless they want to be controlled and those folks usually end up living in some controlling type situation somewhere. One thing is certain, we don't stop loving someone close to us that is living a life that is out of control. We offer comfort and support in anyway we can. We talk with them with love and concern. We keep telling them that things can be better for them. We show them the path to take and hope they'll take it. Most of all, for our own sanity and our own happiness, we can't blame ourselves for the way someone we love and care about has chosen to live.

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Parents can nurture, teach and love their children. Show them the right path to take. But it will be up to that child, once grown, they become responsible for their character and the way they live. That doesn't mean we should just not care about what happens to those we care about that have problems in their lives. Of course we care, we love this person. When we care deeply about someone who is having problems in their lives, it gives us an opportunity to help that person rebuild how they see things in their lives. Even words of encouragement can shine a light at the end of the tunnel for this person. Letting them know that there is a better way to live. There is hope.

Which brings me to how I interpret the parable above. Its important to understand that sometimes in our lives we need to turn and walk away from the lives we may be living. That which is causing us to be miserable. Some of the people in our lives that are dragging us down, influencing negative outcomes or surpressing our healthy attitudes are what I call, toxic people. We may even like these people, but they are contributing to how our lives are panning out and why our lives seem like they are going no where. Our circumstance of how we are living is also a factor as to why our lives seem hopeless, like its going no where fast. Same s**t different day kind of attitude towards living. This will also make us feel like our lives are just useless. But it isn't. Sometimes we just can't see clear or beyond it. It can be like we're falling into a black hole and see no way out. But there is. How?

By change. Change from focusing on the bad things in our lives and focus on the "what if" scenario. The possibilities instead of the obstacles. By that I mean, start thinking about 'what if' I try to feel better about myself, 'what if' I change my job for something more appealing to me, 'what if' I stop drugging or drinking, 'what if' I begin to want to be alive, 'what if' I leave this lifestyle that I've grown accustom to and change it, obviously its not making me happy. 'What if' I start trying to improve myself. As you begin to focus on the "what if" scenario you'll come to a point where you'll ask yourself, "well do I really want to change?" This is where you will face your demons. Now you have to choose, you are at a crossroads. If I were you, I would start to focus on the things you want out of life not the things you don't want. You are responsible for your life. Make it count. Getting involved with people that help to build you up not tear you down. People that are focused on building a better life can be a wonderful influence.  

 Most importantly, learn to forgive. Forgiveness will put out the flame of guilt, anger and animosity. You can start with forgiving yourself. Sometimes we carry within ourselves, things that we're not proud we did, or things that we've done that hurt others. This can weigh heavily on our hearts. You can make ammends with some but you have to let it go and forgive yourself. Then forgive those who have done you wrong. This can be most uplifting for us. Emotionally and spiritually. Its like purging your system of something that was making you ill. This can be, in no doubt the point of never returning to your old ways of thinking and living. Because once you've forgiven these things, you have opened the door to caring for and loving yourself. It's alright..you can love yourself now.  

Everyone eventually learns that life is way too short. I'm still trying to get my brain around how fast it continues to be. And the older we get, the faster it goes. So what do we do when we know we only get so much time to do things? We do as much as we can that will be of benefit for our lives, right? So doesn't it make sense to use what time we have to be as happy and productive as each of us can be? Of course. So we must strive to be happy inspite of all the bs in the world and in our lives. We'll be a better person for it too. But mostly we'll be a happy person and we'll be able to share that happiness with others. I don't know about you all, but I love making others happy because it does make me happy. So sharing the wisdom from life experience, positive advice or words of encouragement, for me, makes me happy to know it just may help someone out there.

And lastly, do you remember when you were younger, and you played games? You would get all excited inside about that one move you were going to make that you knew would allow you to win the game? That was a great feeling. But then sometimes you couldn't win or you moved to the wrong spot and lost. Then you felt kind of bad. But you didn't give up. Because you knew you would have another turn to try again or you knew you would play that game again. And you'd say .."awww, I lost, but I'll win next time!" Well the same principle still applies when we've grown up. We try things out in our lives and some times we don't make it. We may grieve some when we've failed. But remember success is not final and failure is not fatal, its having the courage to carry on that matters. So you try again, something else, it just might be the right thing for you. Think of all you can learn by looking at life this way. Think of all the things you can teach others. Learn to get excited about your life. Life is full of twists and turns. Living it in the haze of an addiction or just giving up on life is cheating yourself out of truly being happy. You deserve to be happy. Enjoy the day.

The person you are is the very Essence of your Being. This Being might be called your soul, your higher self, or your authentic self. The label isn't important, just the acknowledgement that you are more than the physical person reading these words right now. Unshakeable Self Confidence
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Written by Sherrie Vitello

Copyright(c)2011.Living An Unhappy Life - The Causes and Effects.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.

      
       

Greeting Pain with Mindfulness

Buddist teachings tell us to greet pain with mindfulness, to notice how the pain moves through many phases and to pay attention to the nuances of constrictions, pulsation, intensity and the diminishing of intensity. In mindfulness, we keep our attention focused on these changes even as we experience them.  We observe the flow of our thoughts, feelings and sensations. We become explorers of our inner world, and we learn a great deal about ourselves.

As we do so, we gain insight into the cause and core of our karmic condition, our spiritual initiations and the lessons we are meant to learn. We grow in humility, endurance and appreciation for little respites and moments of joy. We expand in courage and acceptance of life's ups and downs. When we open our hearts to living peacefully with ourselves and fellow encounters, we develop a calming effect on ourselves and others around us. And above all, we become acutely aware that our consciousness transcends the human condition.  

Whether we are dealing with physical pain, distressing feelings or both, we can train ourselves to repond with peaceful contemplation. We are told to embrace pain with courage. Yet that is a somewhat dismaying thought to many of us. It is a bit like wanting to embrace a porcupine. Who needs it? But it is very true, psychologically and spiritually, that pain opens our heart. Pain melts our hardness of heart, humbles us and quickens our awareness of our higher power(God). Actually, it is because of pain that many are on a spiritual path today. True happiness is when everything we think, say and do is in harmony. Enjoy the day.

Written by: Sherrie Vitello

Excerpts taken from the book: Emotions, Transforming Anger, Fear and Pain. Written by: Marilyn C Barrick, Ph.D.