Sometimes what we need is right in front of us.

  Today I woke up feeling rather down, I hated the idea that I might be slipping back into my state of depression, which I thought I had lost along time ago. I was affraid it had reared it's ugly head, and that I would feel like I use to when I thought nothing really mattered. I held my face in my hands and began to pray. I didn't want to go back to feeling that way. It terrified me to think that it could happen. I stopped myself from thinking negative and I thought; "Ok, what can I do that will make me feel better?" I knew I had to do my morning routine of exercising even tho' at that moment I really didn't feel like it.

I knew I had to be positive for my spouse, so he could go off to work feeling good about things at home. I dare not show him my worry. Not now! It's not that I can't talk to him about things like this, it's just that I knew if I started to tell him how bad I was feeling, it would bring him down too. He's always such a happy morning person. I love that about him. No...I was going to fight this off. I am determined to find a way to channel these negative feelings. So I got up and began my morning routine. After I was alone, I was still feeling down. I thought; "Ok...I'll get my day started."

I put on my workout clothes and began my morning exercise routine. I realized my heart wasn't into it. I made myself channel those negative feelings into my workout. I would breath-in a state of positive, relaxed emotion and breath out the negative, worried feelings. I really worked hard at focusing on that technique. Alittle more than 1/2 way through my workout I was surprised to notice that I began to feel better. I was actually feeling better...Yaaaay! I was really glad about that. I know when we exercise it causes our brain to release endorphines, the feel good hormones, and I think that's wonderful!

It's a good thing to get into an exercise routine. Not only will it help to keep us healthy but it truly is good for our mind and emotions. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't just start exercising yesterday, it's been about 8 months. The difference is this is one of the those times I actually was able to use my exercise routine to help remove negative feelings and create a more positive state of mind. I always felt good after I would exercise but this time it was different. It was actually like a cure for what was ailing me. If you just do stretching and flexibility exercises, yoga, pillates, or a higher impact exercise routine...

...once you get started I believe anyone will reap the benefits of this. It will make you feel grateful. I got started because I was putting on weight and I wasn't comfortable in my skin any longer. I needed a change, so I began to make changes in my diet and I began an exercise routine. I still have a ways to go until I'm satisfied with myself, but I know now that this is the way to go. Here I've been looking for ways to improve my life, myself, my outlook and it was right here in front of me all along. I guess what I'm trying to say is "sometimes we need something to help us and we don't realize that it's right in front of us." Amazing!  

                                                     Enjoy the day!

The Battle From Within

When I was a younger person, wild and full of life, I never thought of being older. I figured "then" it was to far away from me. For now at this point of my younger life I was not only young, bolder, vibrant and strong, I could not see the side of myself that would be my downfall.  What force could there be but my own. Nothing could harness the strong, able frame I've become. I could run, run far and strong, like a prancing horse on an open plain, then only to be settle and wait for another day. 

I could not be held, forced or driven to anything but by my own will. As I grew older I thought, how could I get ahead with my life, how can I make the grade. I thought nothing could harness my ambition. Nothing could...but something did. I grew emotionally crippled and fearful. I hadn't realized that I created my own monster. In many shades this monster came. In many forms it feasted on my spirit.

I could not lock it away or hide it from view. My shame although hidden, weighed me down like a ball and chain. I had to face my monster and deplete it of it's strength, so I could slay it, stop it, stamp it out of my mind, body and soul. I fought with all my inner strength and I reached down inside for more. More strength!  I allowed hate to take over.

I hated what this monster was doing to me, how it changed me. It's a trickster and gave me a false sense of self and security. My hatred for this monster became my motivation, so strong until I could wrench this monster off my back. I was sickened by the thoughts that filled my mind of how I once clinged to the effects this monster gave me. For a moment...I thought I can't live without it. I was wrong.

Once I had knocked the monster off, pushed it away, it took everything I had to grab hold, shake it loose, strangle it from my life and kill it's desire to destroy me from the inside out. Get rid of it's desire, once and for all. I've made it through the struggle, I've climbed out of the valley of self annhilation. The road I once trudged is no longer. I can stand up straight and carry myself with dignity. I can wake up free! No more monster on my back. I've beaten it

I now realized the power of my will. I now have a shield around me. The desire to destroy a monster before it destroys me. As hard as this was to accomplish I only had to reach down within myself and make the effort count. Stay true to my self discipline. Take heed to the words of others wisdom. Take pride in the strides of accomplishments. No matter how small, they all count.  So in other words, for those of you out there trying to stay clean, going to meetings, going to detox, don't quit...ever! Sometimes it may take 2 or 3 tries before getting it right...maybe even more, but you will get it right so long as you keep trying to change for the better. 
Enjoy the day!
Written by Sherrie Vitello



 

High Expectations.

For those of us who have had to deal with being let-down by our expectations, this article is for you. I'm positive that we have all been let-down at onetime or another because we didn't get what we expected.  As we have come to stop abusing ourselves with drugs and alcohol, we sometimes expect our lives to become this magical, wonderful place to be, right away. It's like trying to win the Indy500 with a racecar that has fouled sparkplugs. We have to remember, for all the time we spent using, we also closed off alot of the things that could have made our lives better.  Sometimes we probably didn't even realize just how messed up our lives became while abusing ourselves. 

Although some of us were functioning addicts...we believed we were doing just fine when we had our drugs or had our drinks.  Until the next time we ran out of our drugs, or didn't have our drinks.  We had gotten so clouded by our addiction that we lost the true perception of the world around us.  We don't really realize that until we're clean and sober just how clouded we truly were.  We have to remember that it took us time to get that way and it's going to take some time to get back on the right path and begin to see our lives in a more positive light.  But it does happen. 

The best way to get through this, without relapsing, is talking about it to others and learning that it's not just you that has had this problem.  You can also read up on how to motivate yourself.  I believe that if we surround ourselves with positive outllooks and attitudes that we will attract the positive things in the universe. Plus we must also learn that negative things do happen at times, and we must learn to cope and deal with the negative things using a positive resolve.  It's like having the attitude that we are not going to let any negative things turn us back into those addicts we once were. 

So don't be affraid to make goals and stick to them in order to improve your life.  Sure you may have some set-backs, but that doesn't mean you have to regress back to your addictive ways.  Realize it's going to take some time for you to re-establish relationships, of any kind, that you may have damaged during your addictive times.  Know that this can be accomplished by the actions we take now once you've made the decision to break away from your addictions.  Like I tell my daughters even to this day, "Believe in yourself, do your best, and you'll be alright."  I find that to be so very true.  Until next time, enjoy the day. 

  

Being Grateful.....

Another wonderful day everyone...I hope you all are feeling well. Remember...If you hate your job, imagine yourself without it, if you hate your life, imagine the sadness of never seeing the abundance of beauty there is in the world, if you hate yourself, imagine what you're missing by not allowing yourself to truly laugh or seeing the love in someone's eyes or the smile of a child or the softness of a puppy.

                                                      
You get the picture....so be happy, Dammit!!! LOL! 
Enjoy the weekend everyone...and remember a good time doesn't have to be in a bottle.

A Moment of Inspirational Poetry.....

                  

Shadow  of  my    Pen

Shadow of my pen
caught my tired eye
Writing without reason
Follows my desire
Walk along beside me
Tip by tip we blend
Feeling all the rhythm
Flowing through my hand

All the letters bouncing
A bigger life than I
As my pen it dances
Where I choose to fly
Will I share my passion?
To keep my dream alive
Or will I let it slip?
Without the will to try

Stumbled down I have
Lied there reaching out
For anything to help me
Understand what life's about
Now I see this purpose
It has brought me to my knees
But this never ending circus
Keeps me in displease

Still I keep on writing
Through my sense of doubt
Just so I can show you
What I think life's about.

Taken from the book:  Through This Addicts Eyes
By:  Celeste Vitello
 http://stores.lulu.com/dare2bdeep

Why we are here.......

We've developed this blog to help visitors' find ways to cope with changes in their lives and find new strength as they look for ways to improve their own ways of thinking, attitudes, addictions and self image.  Sometimes in our lives we need to make changes for the better, and we don't always have the assistance outside of our selves to make those changes.  Contained within this blog is several self help items and words to encourage 
us which can be of great help to anyone who needs that extra boost to get going with change and stay on track.

Of course listening and speaking to others' with the same problems and some guidance can be of help as well.  It's always good to relate with others that share a common ground.  But sometimes we'll find ourselves having to deal with our issues on our own.  So what if you had a blog where you could go and find
some information about how you're feeling about things, what you can do about things that may be bothering you or you may want to find out how to deal or handle a situation that's getting in the way of you being at your best. 

That's why we're here.  We share several insights, advice, suggestions, great reads, all intended to help visitors' maybe find some answers.  We always invite comments too, your points of views are an important part of what we do too.  So please, after you've looked us over,  we encourage you to leave us any comments or questions. 

Now for the sake of not misleading anyone, please understand, we are not  psychologists' and we don't make claims to being one.  Everything within this blog is written purely from experiences we've been through, experiences that loved ones and friends have been through, and alot of research about human emotions.  It's wisdom learned from alot of situations we've seen others in and been in ourselves. 
The reason we feel the need to write about this is because we've learned alot of good things that we believe can help others that are searching for answers or information to help them find there way.  That's why we love to read from visitors' that like to share too....we can all get something out of each others insights and ideas.  So by all means don't hesitate to write what you're thinking about....lets get this conversation going!
[Written by Sherrie Vitello]