When I watched this video, it bought me to tears. Not only did it remind me of how I almost lost my life and my daughters life, I was overwhelmed by the thought that so many others will walk this path unless they learn that it DOES get out of control, you CAN'T keep being a functioning addict, you will LOSE everything that is truly important to you.
Ask for help if you're too affaid to start the cycle of getting clean and sober. Check into a Detox Center in your area, alot of them will not charge you. The help is there. If it takes you 3 or 4 times to get it right, then keep trying until you get it right. You can live without the addiction, you can have a better, more productive happier life. The choice is yours, don't use the crutch statement "I have a disease" for addicts, it's a conditioning addiction that you started and you can stop it too.