Living By A Code - Its not just a knights tale.

So I'm feeling a little dismayed this morning. I know I'm not the first to feel that way? It's not about being upset at any of my family or friends, we're fine, its more about our world. The emotional state of our society. So not to make this political, I won't elaborate on the crises in our country(or should I say the politicians.) I'll keep it to how our social structure makes us feel. You might feel this way too while looking for the rainbow through the clouds. At times I get disheartened because I feel like we humans are so messed up. So many inject all of their power into such negative things. A lot of people are so quick to jump into violent-mode and hit some one. As if beating someone up should be praised. Others are affraid to be hurt so they do nothing when violence occurs. Not to say that's a bad reaction, because it isn't. No one wants to confront and get hurt. This violence has spread, like a virus, in our schools, bullying on the internet too. Young people killing themselves. Like a snowball rolling down hill, it keeps getting bigger and bigger. Some say it starts at home. Parents have to stop being their childs friend and become the rearing parents they should be. The friendship will come later when the child has grown up. There maybe some validity in that statement.

Mental illness is very apparent in our society, like many other societies on our planet. Yet we carry on as if it doesn't exist. Then we have people who are so judgemental that they forget they too have their own faults. We can get so complacent sometimes that we end up losing out, getting hurt, or even dying. A lot of people get angered at others short comings instead of trying to understand why things may be that way for that person. They turn away instead of trying to help them find a better way. Some people are just too busy with their own lives to care. Some people place so much emphasis on material things that they forget the true value of good character, empathy and especially unbiased love. Those who may be doing better than others are quickly looked down upon and quickly criticized whenever possible. Its madness! So with all of this negativity going on around us, how is it possible to keep to a positive outlook? Well..I don't know about everyone else but what I've learned works and I try to apply it everyday. There are guidelines or measures one can take. I prefer to call it "living by a code."  *The Old Code. Whenever possible try to be helpful. Its a nice feeling to be appreciated. But don't over do it and don't get walked on. There are some people that will take your kindness for granted, so be wise about it.

When you see violence, be the quiet hero and call for help. It could be too dangerous to interfere directly. It just may save someone's life. If you can spare any change, give to those who are on the street asking for help. Do you know how it feels to know you won't eat good today or you'll have to sleep on the street? Dumpster diving is not a recommended diet. Even if they are not homeless, or they're being dishonest, or they are drunks, give anyway because you never know what has caused this or how their lives got that way. The kindness you show today will be returned to you tomorrow. [The saddest thing I saw the other day was an old woman holding a sign asking for help. I felt empathy and sadness because I know I could be that old woman and I thought, most likely, that she is someone's mother.] Be honest and don't try to win the approval of others by making things up about yourself or others. It will only come back on you someday and bite you in the ass. When you have menial things that must get done, don't just let them lie, take care of them first, complete it and be done with it. It may surprise you how good that makes you feel. It always reminds me of clearing out my minds closet.

And last but not least, keep your dwelling and your possessions well taken care of and neat because this shows your state of mind or your emotional state. Remind yourself upon waking, everyday, that this day is going to be a good, positive day. And let nothing deprive you of that feeling. We are in control of our thoughts and our perceptions of how we see things, how we deal with things and how we think about things. This is reflected in our lives and how we live it. I'm not saying that I know it all because I don't, no one does. But by living by a code we build structure in our lives which is the base for purpose. A life without purpose can be an empty shell. There will be days of sadness but its up to us to decide if we should allow that sadness to bury our positive state of mind or not. Grieve when its called for otherwise don't dwell in sorrow. Strive to be happy. And when those negative things rise up and try to bring us down, we have to get busy and convert those negatives into positives. And never forget: "To thine own self be true" that saying holds more meaning today and value than you think. It stands right along side of being honest. Lying has a way of catching up to us and its usually not a pleasant experience. So don't sabotage yourself. We were not put on this earth to be sad, hateful or abusive to ourselves or to others and yet society seems to follow that stream as a social structure.

Since we are the ones that create how we feel about our lives and how we live our lives, then we can surely change our social structure for the better. But it starts within our own individual selves. You matter. Things matter. We need to care. Living by a code is not just a knights tale. But a better way to live our lives. Lead the way by letting your light shine and others will follow. Enjoy the day.

*The Old Code -
From Lord Wilhelm Da Kalavo

A knight is sworn to valour
His heart knows only virtue
His blade defends the helpless
His might upholds the weak
His word speaks only truth
His wrath undoes the wicked.

 Copyright(c)2013.Living By A Code-Its not just a knights tale.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.           

There IS Hope - Never Give Up!

When we are in our addiction..we believe that we are alright. We fool ourselves into thinking that we are doing fine. We have our drink or drug of choice & the world seems surmountable. But whats really going on with us is, we are headed for a "head on collision" with life. We WILL hit bottom at some point. Hopefully it won't be at the medical examiners office. If we're lucky we will have a rude awakening...in jail. Or perhaps with a friend who will have the courage & love for us to tell us we need to STOP KILLING OURSELVES! If we're sick enough of being sick, we'll listen, get help & change our lifestyle. We will realize that we can exist without our addiction. We will learn to overcome the triggers & cravings that can cause us to relaspe. We will see that we were so wrong about how we saw our lives & we will do all we can to make it better & to make ammends for all the wrong we did to our loved ones & others. Eventually as life happens...we will have the opportunity to help someone else that is walking the same path we just walked. We will reach out to help them. And once we've helped them & we see that our efforts were not in vain..at that moment we'll realize just how fortunate we are to have come through the haze of our addiction. There is always hope! Never give up!  

Beat The Negative Attitude With A Different Outlook

Negative: expressing opposition or denial; lacking any affirmative quality. Positive: certain, absolutely sure; decisive; direct. In comparison these two words are the opposite of each other. Just as human beings have opposite sides to their personalities. It all starts from childhood. How we are shown the world. How we react to situations. How we deal with pressures bought on by others. Since there is no manual on how to raise the perfect human, parents have had to rely on things they were taught and things they believe when teaching their children. Right on up until we're old enough to handle our daily lives. Now although we always hear of someone "going wrong" because of how they were raised, and how we're raised does effect how we form our character. Parents can only give advice or put their child on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. The outcome to any situation will rely on how we see the problem.

For instance, have you ever known someone who always blows things way out of proportion. Alot of the time it's due to stress for that person but also due to that person has not learned that the best way to solve things is to meet them calmly and not to allow anger to blure your vision of rationality. Things will always go wrong in all of our lives, for one reason or another. If we just take a deep breath, wait a few seconds before speaking, think about the situation before coming to a conclusion, we stand a better chance at handling it with a much better resolve. In my life I've met people along the way that would just fly off the handle, before they even knew the entire situation. I did my best to stay away from that negative source. It makes it very difficult for us to approach someone who will not hear the entire situation and they will only think of the negative. This is not the correct way to resolve a situation or problem.

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When we look at situations or problems with a positive outlook or attitude we are able to resolve it easier and with less stress. A positive outlook gives us the opportunity to explore the different ways of solving things because we're not angry, stressed(too much) or thinking everything is negative. Therefore we can beat the negative attitude with a different outlook. And 9 times out of 10 we're going to succeed at making a decision for whatever situation may arise, for the better. So the next time you come across something that boils your blood, makes you mad, take a few moments to think about what would be the best way to resolve this, in a positive way, so it turns out well for all concerned. Leave your anger somewhere else because it will most likely get you no where. I guess for alot of us maturity plays an important role in learning to achieve a positive way of thinking. We would be better for it, emotionally and health wise once we realize that negative begats negative. Just as positive begats positive. Keep calm and carry on. Enjoy the day.
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Written by: Sherrie Vitello

Gratitude IS our Latitude!

If you don't know already, "negative begats negative and positive begats positive." This effects all areas of our lives everyday. The more I learn about the way we respond to things and how it effects the outcome, the more certain I am about the validity of that statement above.

What outlook are we carrying forth into the day ahead?  Are we feeling fearful about the circumstances confronting us?  Do we dread a planned meeting?  Are we worried about the welfare of a friend or lover?  Whatever our present outlook, it's power over the outcome of our day is profound.  Our attitude in regard to any situation attracting our attention influences the outcome. Sometimes to our favor, often to our disfavor if our attitude is negative.

Thankfulness toward life guarantees the rewards we desire, the rewards we seek too often from an ungrateful stance.  The feeling of gratitude is foreign to many of us.  We came to this program(or circumstance) feeling worthless, sometimes rejected, frequently depressed. 

It seemed life had heaped problems in our laps, and so it had.  The more we *lamented what life "gave us," the more reasons we were given to *lament.  We got just what we expected.

We still get just what we expect. The difference is that the program(or positive changes) has offered us the key to higher expectations. Gratitude for the good in our lives increases the good.

* Lament or Lamented: meaning an expression of sorrow or affliction. Express grief, sorrow or remorse.

Excerpts taken from the book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

Written by:  Sherrie Vitello

Sometimes what we need is right in front of us.

  Today I woke up feeling rather down, I hated the idea that I might be slipping back into my state of depression, which I thought I had lost along time ago. I was affraid it had reared it's ugly head, and that I would feel like I use to when I thought nothing really mattered. I held my face in my hands and began to pray. I didn't want to go back to feeling that way. It terrified me to think that it could happen. I stopped myself from thinking negative and I thought; "Ok, what can I do that will make me feel better?" I knew I had to do my morning routine of exercising even tho' at that moment I really didn't feel like it.

I knew I had to be positive for my spouse, so he could go off to work feeling good about things at home. I dare not show him my worry. Not now! It's not that I can't talk to him about things like this, it's just that I knew if I started to tell him how bad I was feeling, it would bring him down too. He's always such a happy morning person. I love that about him. No...I was going to fight this off. I am determined to find a way to channel these negative feelings. So I got up and began my morning routine. After I was alone, I was still feeling down. I thought; "Ok...I'll get my day started."

I put on my workout clothes and began my morning exercise routine. I realized my heart wasn't into it. I made myself channel those negative feelings into my workout. I would breath-in a state of positive, relaxed emotion and breath out the negative, worried feelings. I really worked hard at focusing on that technique. Alittle more than 1/2 way through my workout I was surprised to notice that I began to feel better. I was actually feeling better...Yaaaay! I was really glad about that. I know when we exercise it causes our brain to release endorphines, the feel good hormones, and I think that's wonderful!

It's a good thing to get into an exercise routine. Not only will it help to keep us healthy but it truly is good for our mind and emotions. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't just start exercising yesterday, it's been about 8 months. The difference is this is one of the those times I actually was able to use my exercise routine to help remove negative feelings and create a more positive state of mind. I always felt good after I would exercise but this time it was different. It was actually like a cure for what was ailing me. If you just do stretching and flexibility exercises, yoga, pillates, or a higher impact exercise routine...

...once you get started I believe anyone will reap the benefits of this. It will make you feel grateful. I got started because I was putting on weight and I wasn't comfortable in my skin any longer. I needed a change, so I began to make changes in my diet and I began an exercise routine. I still have a ways to go until I'm satisfied with myself, but I know now that this is the way to go. Here I've been looking for ways to improve my life, myself, my outlook and it was right here in front of me all along. I guess what I'm trying to say is "sometimes we need something to help us and we don't realize that it's right in front of us." Amazing!  

                                                     Enjoy the day!

Achieve A State Of Happiness.

This is one subject that we all think about once in awhile, and I have found that altho' difficult, we can achieve a state of happiness so long as we direct our thinking to that state of mind.  Sometimes I'll watch these talk shows that are targeted towards helping people with concerns of being overweight, being self critical, not knowing how to solve their problems, feelings of depression etc. and the one thing I find about these people with these problems is that they don't seem to know that it's their own thoughts, their own ways of seeing themselves, their own ways of focusing on more negative thoughts than positive thoughts that make them feel so helpless or inadequate. 

Let's face it....when you wake up in the morning and the first thought on your mind is, "Oh no...another day..." that's a hum-drum negative response to greeting the new day. Whereas if you were to greet the new day with a positive note, like, "It's going to be a good day..." you would probably feel alot better about starting the day. It's all a matter of what you tell yourself...how you're going to feel everyday. 

You can wake up every morning and say to yourself..."I'm going to have a good day today" or you can say to yourself, "I'm going to feel bad today". It's really up to what we say to ourselves.

I call that "Self Talk".  Some people ask "What can I do to achieve a state of happiness?"  For one, they can start writing a daily journal, take the time to write how you feel about the people in your life, your family, your job, your hobby, what made you happy today, what made you mad. Do this for about 2 to 3 months, faithfully, then read over what you've written, and take note of the things that made you feel negative, sad or angry and you'd like to change. There's your list to start making positive changes to.  Start with one thing at a time, take small steps and remember you have to walk before you can run.

So don't be too hard on yourself, you're not going to fix everything in one day, one week or even one month, it's going to take time to change the pattern of your thinking, but it can be done. Start trying to radiate an outward feeling of happiness. Feelings that are positive and happy will show outwardly and can create happiness around you and others. Divert negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Develop a positive outlook towards yourself. If you're unhappy because you're overweight, or your life isn't unfolding the way you'd like it to, start to make positive changes to those undesirable feelings and make it a goal to change to positive results. 

Remember, it's how you "Self Talk" to yourself that will set the course of your thoughts which will make the pattern of the way you think, change for the better. Which will help you achieve a state of happiness. It will take some effort on your part, but don't give up, don't fall into the pattern of being emotionally lazy, keep working toward a better outlook. See yourself as a positive effect on your surroundings and you will acheive your desired state of mind.
"As a man thinketh...so is he". Enjoy the day!

Wriiten by Sherrie Vitello