"I look inside myself to find my peace"


Self Esteem - It makes us who we are

Self-esteem is a term in psychology that reflects a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. A person’s self concept consists of the beliefs one has about oneself, one’s self perception. Self esteem is that part of our emotional make up that makes us who we are. When we have healthy self esteem we are capable of achieving almost anything we set our minds to doing. Our self esteem is like a lighter that sets off the fire in our emotional furnace. When we are young our feelings get hurt more easily because we have not yet learned how to deal with hurt feelings. Usually a loving hug from mom and dad, some words of encouragement, would make things all better. As we grow older we learn to handle hurt feelings, for the most part, more maturely. But the road to that maturity isn't always easy. There is and will always be bumps in the road that will test our self esteem. When someone treats us badly we can either handle it with a grain of salt and carry on or we feel hurt, angry and uncertain why we were treated that way. We pretend it doesn't bother us but when we're alone thinking, it can bring you down. If there's one thing you take away from this article remember "no one can make you feel bad about how you see yourself except you."  The meaning of that one sentence can take some people many years to grasp. There is always circumstances that will test character. With the correct outlook towards these challenges you can overcome many circumstances the can lead to having a healthy self esteem. Tweens and young teenagers are more effected by low self esteem. At that age they are discovering who they are and learning about so many things that effect their emotional growth. It can be a difficult stage for anyone at that age. Peer pressure, bullies, abusive home life, negative feedback or no positive influence will effect young minds and could cause them to feel alienated, sorrowful, uncertain about their self worth. It could get so bad that they act out in very negative forms. This is why its a vital part of raising children that parents try to be the positive re-enforcement that children desperately require.

You may not have a huge hollywood home, you may not have boatloads of money, fancy cars, high fashion wardrobes or any of the material things that people think make them happy. You could have a cozy two bedroom home, a decent car that runs well, you buy discount clothes, discount foods, discount everything to save money. There's not a dam thing wrong about that. What matters is how you nurture and teach your children how to live a good solid life. How to respond to those negative events that can chip away at their self esteem. When you see your child down or upset, STOP whatever you are doing and talk "with" your child not at your child. Do your very best to be positive, encouraging, teach your children that its not the end of world when things seem bad for them. Just listen to them, let them express themselves. All parents should embrace their childrens troubles and help them to find a way to solve whatever may be upsetting them. In doing this it will teach your child to deal with the negatives of life and give them a sense of power. They will learn that they can overcome negative feelings that may otherwise turn inward. Even if your child goes off the beaten path, as they sometimes do, usually when they are nurtured and loved unconditionally they will find their way back to the path. This is something that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives. So its important as a parent to remember that and follow through. Lets not forget about older folks either. Why are so many older people forgotten? Its as if their families think they are no longer of use or value. Of course, sadly their are older relatives or friends that require care due to diseases that may come with age. But for those who still have their health and minds about them, they can be very helpful when we need wisdom about life. For some people their self esteem is effected by the fact that they are growing older, no longer a young and vibrant person. Thats a hard pill to swallow because none of us want to really face that fact. It effects everyone. I suggest that we all try to age as vibrantly and healthy as possible. We learn to embrace the twilight seasons of our lives and we carry on as best we can. Some people will resort back to an age of youthful thinking to cope with the low tides of self esteem.

Some people will keep themselves rejuvenated and healthy so they can overcome the negatives that ride along side of aging. Some people will give up and become angry and unpleasant, because its difficult for them to except that they are growing older. Those who embrace the natural process of life will usually be more happier and positive about living. They will usually have a higher level of self esteem compared to a person who is in a negative state of mind. You are fortunate when you have family members that are in the golden years. Don't forget they've been around a lot longer than you and they've learned a lot about living life to the fullest. So don't neglect them, listen to them when they speak. Give them a hug to let them know they're loved and that you appreciate their wisdom. Share some happiness. Low self-esteem is a constant companion for too many people. Especially those who experience depression, anxiety, phobias, psychosis, delusional thinking, or who have an illness or a disability. For these people its especially important for them to keep to a positive outlook as best as they can. Counseling is a useful avenue to take and for some medications can be helpful. Medical research has shown that a person with an illness or disease heals better even faster when they have a positive outlook and their self esteem is healthy. If you have a friend or relative that has a health issue like these be a good friend and visit them or call them and nurture their emotional health and self esteem. Not only will it uplift and help them to feel better it will make you feel good that you've helped someone in a time of need. Another way to improve your self esteem is to stop comparing yourself to other people. You are a unique individual and you have the power within yourself, by applying positive implementation to rise above the fall of low self esteem. But you have to practice and apply it for it to be successful for you.

There are endless factors that make up who we are, as an individual. When we compare ourselves to others we tend to focus on factors with envy not seeing our own good qualities. Stay aware of your own thinking. Don't let the negative talk in your head control who you really are as a person. Stay positive in thought. Keep thinking of your own good qualities, virtues and strengths. Fire the negative thoughts going on inside your mind. Make it a habit to praise your qualities and congratulate every victory no matter how small. Always consider the positive factors in your life. Practice this everyday especially when the chips are down. In doing so you can alter, change and overcome low self esteem and live for a better quality of life. Enjoy the day.

Copyrights(c)2014.Self Esteem-It makes us who we are. Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.


Anger - Dealing with the destructiveness of anger is key

I believe we all know what it's like to get mad or angry! Whether you are in recovery or not. Sometimes anger can be the cause for us to relapse. Sometimes anger can be the cause for people to create an addiction. Which ever place in life you are at learning to deal with the destructiveness of anger is key to feeling better. 

You know that saying "count to 10" or "take a walk" as ridiculous as that sounds, it can actually help us to stop and think before we say something we might regret. Plus don't forget the effects anger has on our blood pressure. Take a moment to calm yourself before you communicate what you need/want to say. It can be difficult to make good decisions when we're angry, so be sure 'not' to make life altering decisions when you're angry. Give yourself time to sort through the anger and try to empathize. It would also be a good idea to find out the root of the anger whether you're dishing it out or receiving it from someone.

Changing how we think is key to helping us as we learn to become unaddicted. Although anger is a normal emotion and feeling it makes us know we still have feelings, it can still lead to negative outcomes if we don't learn to channel it. I have learned that anger can be a good motivator. It can assist us to get into action. Have you ever gotten angry at someone or something? Think about all that energy you're using to feel that angry emotion. Now, what if you learned to channel that energy of anger-emotion towards something you need to accomplish?

That is a great way to dissolve the negative feelings and channel them or turn them into something positive. If you have too much trouble doing that on your own, you may need some counseling to help you regulate and to help you learn to control that anger. Counseling can be going to a meeting and sharing your problem, or going to a counselor and speaking to them one on one. Either way, it's a good idea for people with anger issues to find way to curb that anger.

Remember when you're beginning to change your old ways of addictive thinking to a clean way of living, for most of us, it's going to be an emotional roller-coaster for awhile. But it's not permanent. You will begin to feel better emotionally and physically. Especially if you begin focusing on your health, diet and physical fitness. You can live a clean life, you can learn how to control your anger and turn it so it works for you and not against you. You can feel good about who you are and you can be happy.

For more articles by this author visit: EzineArticles - Author Sherrie Vitello

Copyright(c)2014.Anger - Dealing with the destructiveness of anger is key.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.