Our Brains - Friend, Foe or Both?

Let me ask you a question. How often do we tell ourselves things aren't always what we think they are? In other words, there are times when our own brains just think about things so out of context that we have to tell it to be quiet. Although our brains are great at analytical things and things that require deduction or finding answers, where do we draw the line between when we should listen to our brains and when we should tell it to shut up? Here's what I mean by that. Have you ever thought about something that you may not feel too sure about and your brain starts running through a scenario of outcomes? Sometimes these outcomes are so ridiculous, maybe even frightening, that you close your eyes for a few seconds in an effort to stop thinking about it? Or the brain could be thinking of positive outcomes but you don't buy into them completely because things could turn out completely opposite of what you thought? This is what I've come to know as thought pattern displacement. I was told by someone a long time ago NOT to listen to my brain. At that time, I didn't understand, or maybe didn't want to understand what that meant. But as time has gone on and I've gained wisdom, patience and my thinking has grown wiser, I do understand that very well. And its very true too. 

Think of it this way. Within each of us we have 4 raw forms of how we think, come to decisions, decipher and choose our outcomes for our lives. They are our brains, our hearts, our gut feelings and our spiritual beliefs be them through religion or spirituality. These 4 forms make up who we are, how we make decisions and how we live our lives. What I've come to find is our brains are not always our friend. Our brains, besides being a brilliant thinking mass, has the capacity to destroy our self confidence or build our self image with just thoughts. It can even create the outcome of our lives. How we think and what we think are the components of what we make happen in our daily lives. That saying "..our thoughts create our lives.." is more true than we know. When someone says something negative about you. You are the key factor as to how you will allow this negative comment to effect your entire day, effect how you feel and even the outcome of how you see yourself. Unless you are an unfeeling narcissist, you most likely will feel some kind of feelings about what has been said. We could just let go of it, which is probably the best way to handle it. But for some thats not so easy to do. We certainly can't allow others to direct how we should feel. But most importantly we can't allow our brains to fall into the depths of imagination of self doubt, uncertainty or feelings of inadequacy because of it.

Some of the best ways we can help ourselves is by reminding ourselves of all of our inner strengths. The experiences we've gotten through in our lives, our achievements-no matter how small they all count. When the brain starts to think in negative ways, for every negative thought about yourself think of an opposite positive one. It may help you to write it down. Even though this may be difficult to accomplish at times, the more you do that the better you get at it. When things aren't going right for you, take a moment to ask yourself; "what is the lesson I should be learning here?" This is a way we can self examine ourselves and even gain strength within and change the way our brains can think. Now grant it, there will be times when you can't help how you feel. Unkind and hard times can stir up negative patterns, its just the way life is. But its how we handle those moments and how we think about them that makes all the difference in how it affects us and how we will feel. Our thoughts create our lives. We are affected by others only when we allow negative people and unhappy circumstances to affect our thoughts about ourselves. If you're a person that feels like the thoughts your brain creates are making you feel unhappy, its time to re-evaluate your thinking and begin to think differently. Don't become hostage of self sabotaging thoughts that hold you back from discovering what you are capable of achieving and who you truly are. Believe in yourself.


            Copyright(c)2015-2019. Our Brains - Friend, Foe or Both? Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Have You Had A Hug Today? - The Outstanding Benefits of Hugging

Did you know that when you hug someone it not only gives you a good feeling but it also helps to reduce deseases that can effect your overall health i.e. heart desease and blood pressure issues. Research has found that hugging increases the bonding or love hormone, Oxytocin, which decreases the risk of heart desease. Also hugging decreases the hormone, Cortisol, which decreases blood pressure. Although studies show that the decreases in Cortisol(the Fat-Causing-hormone)is mostly found in women. Oxytocin was found to increase in both men and women, especially those in healthy, positive, loving relationships. A research study was conducted by Dr. Karen Grewen, Researcher/Psychologist and results showed that handholding and hugging decreased the effects of cortisol caused by stress.

Interesting Facts from Wikipedia: Oxytocin is best known for its roles in female reproduction. It is released in large amounts after distension of the cervix and uterus during labor and after stimulation, facilitating birth and breastfeeding. Recent studies have begun to investigate oxytocin's role in various behaviors, including orgasm, social recognition, pair bonding, anxiety and maternal behaviors. For this reason, it is sometimes referred to as the "love hormone."

Cortisol is a steroid hormone or glucocorticoid, produced by the adrenal gland. Sometimes referred to as the fat-causing hormone. Studies show that due to the release of cortisol in the body it has been connected to increased abdominal fat. It is released in response to stress and a low level of blood glucocorticoids. Its primary functions are to increase blood sugar through gluconeogenesis; suppress the immune system; and aid in fat, protein and carbohydrate metabolism. It also decreases bone formation. During pregnancy, increased production of cortisol between weeks 30-32 initiates production of fetal lung surfactant to promote maturation of the lungs.

So in other words, the more positive and stable relationships are the better it will benefit our health. Perhaps those peace loving hippies from the seventies that would always say: "Make love not war.." weren't far off the mark of the benefits of holding and hugging one another. As human beings we are social creatures by nature. Studies have shown that people who are married, have friends and are social, tend to be healthier and happier. Which makes me wonder about people that are anti-social or have antisocial personality disorders. There must be some sort of emotional or biological distortion with those people that cause them to be that way. Some people don't even want to be touched, let alone hugged, and they will avoid getting close to anyone physically.

It has been found that those people have other emotional issues that could probably use some form of counseling. This is not a ridiculous claim. The absence of touch can have an effect on our emotions. The positive benefits touch has on us emotionally and physically are key to retaining a heathly sense of well being. I can't help but think that how we feel about getting touched or hugged stems from when we are babies. A child can grow up disturbed or having social problems with others due to them not being nurtured properly, which normally involves loving hugs and positive reinforcement. Where as a child that was raised in a loving family that was hugged and nurtured grew up having self-assurance and they too were a loving human-being. Of course we can't dismiss the fact that no matter how much we love our children some will fall into the wrong crowd of peers and can become lost and change their entire outlook towards others and life.

For them, even though they came from a loving, nurturing childhood, they have chosen to be influenced by others, whether positive or negative, and they will have to learn from their experiences. Even so, usually people will come to their senses once they've realized they have made a mistake, and they will fall back on the key character builders they learned as a child. Hopefully those were positive reinforcements and nurturing times. Positive touch(or stroking)has been shown to facilitate physical and psychological functioning paritcularly in terms of reducing stress, relieving pain, increasing the ability to cope and general overall health. So when you wake up in the morning take a few moments to hug your spouse, your children, your pets. Even when its appropriate, hugging your co-workers is extremely beneficial too. This can significantly improve your quality of life. Enjoy the day!

\Sources: University of North Carolina, Dr. Karen Grewen-Researcher/Psychologist, Dr. Ben Kim-Natural Health Care, Wikipedia Encyclopedia

Copyright(c)2011.Have You Had A Hug Today?-The Outstanding Benefits of Hugging.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.

Do you believe in Love at first sight?.....

Ahhh...love, there's nothing better. When you're in "love" life is better, sex is better, company is better, all things are wonderful. We kind of float on air. Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah....it's impossible to be in love with someone at first sight.(right?). First off humans are attracted by what they see, so looks are the first thing we notice, then there is the way someone smells (meaning the pheromones) believe it or not, we spend billions of dollars each year trying to find ways to smell more attractive to the opposite sex. Some cultures in other countries would rather have their own body scent instead of dabbing on alittle scent enhancer like, cologne or perfume. 

The color of ones eyes or hair play as factors of attraction but once in love with someone, does the color of their eyes or hair really matter? Really? The way a person carries themselves, the character of the person and so on are also factors in what makes someone attractive and what we love about someone. My mother use to say "...the greater the need, the greater the love..." I'm not saying a person can't love out of need, but even that type of love takes time to cultivate and nurture. I think we all have need of some kind, whether male or female. It's impossible for anyone to know someone so well at first sight that they immediately fall in love. Perhaps what we're really falling for is the outward appearance of what we first see.
       
Although that may be the first indication that we are attracted to someone, it's not the best time to pledge ones heart without getting to know that person first. Have you ever met someone that was so pretty or so handsome they seemed magical? Then they began to speak and as soon as they opened their mouth and mind you saw their intellect, values or morals, and it made you want to get away from that person as fast as you could? That's why you can't have "love at first sight". Lust at first site for sure, but not true love.  Many people think you can have love at first sight...these are the people that usually end up...broke up.

Now maybe...once in a blue-moon you might be fortunate enough to find that one person in a million that you will get along with immediately and just know this is the one for you. But sorry romantics...that is too far and few between. I suggest getting to know the person well before you start with the "I love you's". Too many people make the mistake of thinking lust is love...then when that gets old, people are left heart-broken, so don't make that mistake, unless you can read minds...there is no such thing as actual "love at first sight."

Of course if you're looking for just a casual, fun, shallow relationship, that's fine, but be sure you're on the level about that with the other person. That way you both have an understanding as to what to expect in the relationship and no one get's hurt. Another example is: have you ever met a person that you thought was incredibly good-looking, drop-dead gorgeous and you think you're "in-love" really "in-love", then you start getting to know that person and you find out that they're about as compatible with you as you would be compatible sleeping with a catcus.

All I'm saying is if you're looking to be "in love" true love...take time to get to know yourself first, then you'll be able to recognize what you would like to have in a partner. Be honest with yourself and your love interest. Love them for who they are not for what you can change them into. These are key to enduring the tests of time and for achieving a lasting relationship. And don't be in such a rush to find true love, believe me you'll find it, and when it's right...you'll know. Enjoy the Day!
Written by: Sherrie Vitello

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