"I look inside myself to find my peace"


The Battle From Within

When I was a younger person, wild and full of life, I never thought of being older. I figured "then" it was to far away from me. For now at this point of my younger life I was not only young, bolder, vibrant and strong, I could not see the side of myself that would be my downfall.  What force could there be but my own. Nothing could harness the strong, able frame I've become. I could run, run far and strong, like a prancing horse on an open plain, then only to be settle and wait for another day. 

I could not be held, forced or driven to anything but by my own will. As I grew older I thought, how could I get ahead with my life, how can I make the grade. I thought nothing could harness my ambition. Nothing could...but something did. I grew emotionally crippled and fearful. I hadn't realized that I created my own monster. In many shades this monster came. In many forms it feasted on my spirit.

I could not lock it away or hide it from view. My shame although hidden, weighed me down like a ball and chain. I had to face my monster and deplete it of it's strength, so I could slay it, stop it, stamp it out of my mind, body and soul. I fought with all my inner strength and I reached down inside for more. More strength!  I allowed hate to take over.

I hated what this monster was doing to me, how it changed me. It's a trickster and gave me a false sense of self and security. My hatred for this monster became my motivation, so strong until I could wrench this monster off my back. I was sickened by the thoughts that filled my mind of how I once clinged to the effects this monster gave me. For a moment...I thought I can't live without it. I was wrong.

Once I had knocked the monster off, pushed it away, it took everything I had to grab hold, shake it loose, strangle it from my life and kill it's desire to destroy me from the inside out. Get rid of it's desire, once and for all. I've made it through the struggle, I've climbed out of the valley of self annhilation. The road I once trudged is no longer. I can stand up straight and carry myself with dignity. I can wake up free! No more monster on my back. I've beaten it

I now realized the power of my will. I now have a shield around me. The desire to destroy a monster before it destroys me. As hard as this was to accomplish I only had to reach down within myself and make the effort count. Stay true to my self discipline. Take heed to the words of others wisdom. Take pride in the strides of accomplishments. No matter how small, they all count.  So in other words, for those of you out there trying to stay clean, going to meetings, going to detox, don't quit...ever! Sometimes it may take 2 or 3 tries before getting it right...maybe even more, but you will get it right so long as you keep trying to change for the better. 
Enjoy the day!
Written by Sherrie Vitello


Achieve A State Of Happiness.

This is one subject that we all think about once in awhile, and I have found that altho' difficult, we can achieve a state of happiness so long as we direct our thinking to that state of mind.  Sometimes I'll watch these talk shows that are targeted towards helping people with concerns of being overweight, being self critical, not knowing how to solve their problems, feelings of depression etc. and the one thing I find about these people with these problems is that they don't seem to know that it's their own thoughts, their own ways of seeing themselves, their own ways of focusing on more negative thoughts than positive thoughts that make them feel so helpless or inadequate. 

Let's face it....when you wake up in the morning and the first thought on your mind is, "Oh no...another day..." that's a hum-drum negative response to greeting the new day. Whereas if you were to greet the new day with a positive note, like, "It's going to be a good day..." you would probably feel alot better about starting the day. It's all a matter of what you tell yourself...how you're going to feel everyday. 
You can wake up every morning and say to yourself..."I'm going to have a good day today" or you can say to yourself, "I'm going to feel bad today". It's really up to what we say to ourselves.
I call that "Self Talk".  Some people ask "What can I do to achieve a state of happiness?"  For one, they can start writing a daily journal, take the time to write how you feel about the people in your life, your family, your job, your hobby, what made you happy today, what made you mad. Do this for about 2 to 3 months, faithfully, then read over what you've written, and take note of the things that made you feel negative, sad or angry and you'd like to change. There's your list to start making positive changes to.  Start with one thing at a time, take small steps and remember you have to walk before you can run.

So don't be too hard on yourself, you're not going to fix everything in one day, one week or even one month, it's going to take time to change the pattern of your thinking, but it can be done. Start trying to radiate an outward feeling of happiness. Feelings that are positive and happy will show outwardly and can create happiness around you and others. Divert negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Develop a positive outlook towards yourself. If you're unhappy because you're overweight, or your life isn't unfolding the way you'd like it to, start to make positive changes to those undesirable feelings and make it a goal to change to positive results. 

Remember, it's how you "Self Talk" to yourself that will set the course of your thoughts which will make the pattern of the way you think, change for the better. Which will help you achieve a state of happiness. It will take some effort on your part, but don't give up, don't fall into the pattern of being emotionally lazy, keep working toward a better outlook. See yourself as a positive effect on your surroundings and you will acheive your desired state of mind.
"As a man thinketh...so is he". Enjoy the day!

Wriiten by Sherrie Vitello