Self Acceptance - Builds Inner Strength

I love the writings of Karen Casey in her book: Each Day A New Beginning. Here she writes about Acceptance. God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. Many times, yesterday, last week, today and even tomorrow, we'll come..face to face with a seemingly intolerable situation. The compulsion to change the situation, to demand that another person change the situation is great. What a hard lesson it is to learn we can change only ourselves. The hidden gift in this lesson is that as our activities change, often the intolerable situations do too. Acceptance, after a time, smooth all the ripples that discourage us. And it softens us. It nurtures wisdom. It attracts joy and love from others. Ironically, we often try to force changes that we think will loosen love and lessen struggle. Acceptance can do what our willpower could never accomplish. As we grow in wisdom, as we grow in understanding, as we realize the promises of this, we'll stand ready, as an individual, to weather all our personal storms. Like the willow in the wind, we'll bend rather than break. And we'll be able to help others become wise through our example.

So many people, at one time or another, try to find ways to feel complete. To be accepting of things can help our journeys be more enjoyable. It all starts within ourselves. It doesn't hinder our abilities when we learn to accept. In essence acceptance relieves us of the pressures of trying to cope or deal with situations in which we would like to change but cannot. That doesn't mean we should accept all things. In no way is that meant. You can change yourself, your situation, increase your chances of being more accepting of yourself. There are things within our lives, in ourselves that we can change and knowing that we can change them is in essence acceptance. We accept the idea of changing for the better. We do the best we can to do so and we self-accept ourselves. When we make positive strides in our lives, be proud of yourself, be happy that you were able to make a change. Acknowledging that to yourself is key to self acceptance. Strive to be happy.


Copyright(c)2013.Written by Sherrie Vitello, excerpts from the book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey. All Rights Reserved.   

How We Handle Anger

An old Japanese tale goes,  a belligerent samurai once challenged a Zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell.  But the monk replied with scorn, "you're nothing but a lout...I can't waste my time with the likes of you!"  His very honor attacked, the samurai flew into a rage and pulling his sword from it's scabbard, yelled, "I could kill you for your impertinence!"  That, the monk calmly replied, is hell. Startled at seeing the truth in what the master pointed out about the fury that had him in it's grip, the samurai calmed down, sheathed his sword, and bowed, thanking the monk for his insight.  And that, said the monk...is heaven.

Anger is a trap. When we allow ourselves to dissolve into fury, we do damage to our soul and spirit.  Anger can come upon you suddenly, like a flash.  And you are engaged because it is a trap. It is a trap of the sinister force, the forces of darkness and it is a trap we lay for ourselves because we don't deliver ourselves from the dweller-on-the-threshold.
(The dweller-on-the-threshold is a term used to designate the anti-self, the not-self, the anti-thesis of the real self.)

But the will and the determination, the surrender and the consciousness of wrestling with ourselves to get rid of those points of darkness, that's something only we can do. Taming the wild horse of anger. We all remember times when we were angry or completely lost our temper. At other times perhaps we were seething with anger, altho' we didn't express it directly.  Some of us believe our anger is a good thing, and furthermore, you may feel better after you've yelled it out.  Frankly it gives me a headache after I exert anger & it highers my bloodpressure. Your health will be affected by anger too but not in a good healthy way.

Perhaps you see nothing wrong with venting anger. Yet when we understand how energy works, we realize that angry vibes, made even more powerful when we yell them, are explosive energy. It's an emotional bomb that disrupts clear reasoning.  And the aftermath of negative vibes doesn't just go away. It keeps us in a grumbly mood, pollutes productivity and impacts people around us. 

Most people don't like those vibes one bit. They usually forget the point they were trying to make midst the fury. Think of one of those times in your life when you were seething with anger.  Then ask yourself, "What was the point of my anger?  How did I express it?"  Now remember a time that you wouldn't say you were angry but you felt irritated, disgusted, annoyed or frustrated. When you look deeper, you'll discover that those feelings are simply variations of the theme, they all track back to anger.

Anger, a powerful destructive force, even when it's just simmering or seething within us, actually creates emotional pollution in ourselves, our relationships, our home, our neighborhood, our work place and the planet. What can we do about it? Checking a runaway temper is like taming a wild horse. If you have ever ridden high-spirited horses, you know not to let them just run, especially if they are jumpy or upset. You use the reins to guide them, a soft toned voice to calm them. You get much better results that way. We can do the same with anger.

We can bridle the beast. If we have our mouths closed, we will not misuse our power verbally. If we refuse to strike out with our fists or feet, whatever, we will not misuse our power physically. Even when our anger isn't a reaction to people but what may be going on in daily lives around us. Such as, the state of our country, terrorism, pollution from chemicals, trapping of dolphins in a tuna catch, the conditions of the world around us etc. All the causes we feel passionate about. Can eat away at us until we are pushed just enough & we explode into a raging, angry, irrational person.  

The principle of how we handle our feelings is exactly the same.  Whenever we are angry, we need to find a "constructive" way to approach the situation that is incensing us. We need to seek ways to take constructive action in our own sphere of influence.  Meditation i.e. yoga, pilates, getting out and going for a pep-step walk or any form of exercise can do wonders for anger (and stress). Anger is normal, every body has it, no one is exempt. 

But how we handle that powerful energy is our choice. We always have a choice.  If we adjust our perspective, we can take dominion over our passions. When we bridle our temper, we begin to tame that wild horse of anger within us. Now we can rein him in, turn him around and head off that display of human volatility. Keep calm & carry on.  

Written by Sherrie Vitello, Excerpts taken from the wonderful book: EMOTIONS Transforming Anger, Fear and Pain by Marilyn C. Barrick, Ph.D.

Way Beyond The Time For Change

What if you woke up one morning and realized
you're the dissappointment?

So it's 6:30am and time to wake up. For the longest time you can remember feeling like crap as soon as you became conscious. You would almost come to tears because you knew it was time to get up and face the day. (Same s**t, different day) was how you felt. Until of course you got your fix for the day. Once you started using you loved waking up, because you knew you would be able to get your morning fix and feel right again. Knowing it sounds ridiculous, even sad, that you looked forward to using just so you'd feel right. But sad to say, that's what happens when a person is an addict. Everything seems better when we've had our DOC (drug of choice.)Until things start to fall apart, you get into trouble, or you just ignore your addictive lifestyle. It will keep snow balling out of control, until you realize how altering your thoughts of addiction causes change.

In the beginning of using, we believe its new, satisfying, even exciting to know you're about to get your fix. But after awhile its just an addiction, ball and chain, monkey on your back. It becomes a problem in one way or another. Things start going wrong for you, family and some friends stop coming around you, good relationships fall away, you get into trouble. You know in your heart that you're not living the way you were meant to. What if you woke up one morning and realized you're the dissappointment? The addict thinks how good it would feel to feel right without having to use. Its alarming to know how many are functioning addicts. They go to work and confront the day with confidence. Nothing bothers them, so long as they have their stash so they could bump themselves up (when needed) throughout the day. And no one knew of their ball and chain of addiction. As their addiction progresses, they wanted it even more, to feel this way clean. Although they love the way their drug of choice made them feel, they knew in their hearts this could not last. The addict comes to a fork in the road of their lives. They wonder why things don't go better for them.They will either get help and stop using and change their lives for the better or they will continue down their road of self destruction and give up on themselves. That is such a shame and a waste because life itself, is a gift.

Example photo:
Left pic is how Ann looked at
her worst time as a addict.
Right pic is how she
looks now clean
and happy.

In this example this addict decided to stop killing themselves and changed for the better. So how do they feel now? Now that they are no longer using? Since it's been about a year now they actually do feel good when they wake up. It took looking inside of oneself and some attitude adjustments to change the negative feelings into positive ones. Alot of meetings and positive readings. But when you want something so bad it hurts, you'd be surprised how strong you can become. For most, what they've learned was that they have to change how they feel about their lives, about themselves. It can take some time, but it can be accomplished. When the addict gets sick of being sick, realization of knowing you need to change is the first step to recovery.

Humans can achieve alot more than they think they can once they get passed the fear of being without the addiction and giving themselves a chance to achieve a better way of living. If we think of the possibilities instead of the obstacles, focus on the things we want, NOT the things we don't want, attract the positive, we can do wonders with ourselves and our lives. But you have to be willing to look at yourself, see what you've become, know you ARE more than your addiction or a quick fix. For the amount of people in the U.S. alone, all of the experience people have gained going through recovery and overcoming their addictions, still those who are stuck in their addictions will rarely heed the advice of those who've been through it and have come out on the otherside, free of their addiction. When the fear of getting high becomes greater than the fear of being clean, you'll know it's way beyond the time for change.

Enjoy the day.

Written by Sherrie Vitello/inserts by Celeste Vitello(c)2011.Way Beyond The Time For Change.All Rights Reserved.

Milestones In Our Lives

Milestones In Our Lives

As we collect the milestones in our lives, look to them as markers of experience and wisdom. However confusing, naive, or purposeful they have been, there will be more to come. Everyones journey is a stepping stone to learn from and utilize to your advantage. Our milestones in our lives mark points that can be special occasions, events or experiences that mean something to us. It can be wisdom gained that we can use to help others. Perhaps when we listen to those whom seem lost or confused, what we have learned along the way could be a light for them at the end of a dark tunnel they may be traveling. With an open heart of compassion we learn to walk amoung the hurdles of life with more detailed understanding. Without ego we are better able to make decisions that are more precise. Milestones help us grow emotionally as well.

When we are young we are so filled with the excitement of not knowing. We think we are the only one that circumstances fall upon. But we aren't. As much as everyone thinks they are so unique, altho' we maybe in some individual ways, we are also so much alike. Our emotions are constructed by the things we experience, especially when we are children. As we get older we learn to cope with or deal with the adversities that life throws into the mix for us, in our own ways. We realize that altho' things we were taught as children, whether positive or negative, are not necessarily the way we choose to see things as we get older. We grow, we change. With every experience we go through, we realize that we can take in the experience and commit it to a milestone.

As time goes on we've collected many milestones along the way. Some are huge and eventful mile stones while others are small but they still carry meaning. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to log our milestones into a computer file like a mini-movie? Then anytime we wanted to look back at them they would be right there for us to see again in full color. For now people use journals or diaries, take pictures or they record them into a computer notebook. Some people record them on video. Either way its human nature to record milestones in our lives because of the senitmental value, lessons learned or the memory it holds for us. I guess what some may classify as a milestone may be different than what others may classify it as. Its a personal thing. Something that means so much to each and everyone of us.

I believe milestones are a wonderful occasion because they are marked by certain circumstances or occurrences that take place in each of our lives. Milestones are constructed to provide reference points along the road in life as well. They are what gives each of us our individual lives. What makes our life experiences something to remember, look back on and cherish. Enjoy the day.



Copyright(c)2012.Milestones In Our Lives.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.     

We Weren't Put on this Earth to Exist in a Haze of Addiction

How often in our addictions have we thought about how much longer we could last doing this to ourselves? If you're like most people you've probably thought about it enough to recognize that you have a problem. There is no shame in knowing you have an addiction. The shame is knowing you have an addiction and doing nothing about it. Addiction effects so many people in many forms, everyday. So it's not something new to society. We all know of the destruction addiction causes us when we don't turn away from it. Why we begin to use drugs and alcohol we all know it's due to something lacking in our lives, a way to soothe our minds, something lacking in our character, or the way we may have been raised. We all need to have an outlet to relieve some of the daily pressures we face in our lives. But we don't need to take the easy way out and use drugs and alcohol for this reason. 

Sure it's easy to get drugs and alcohol. Alot of our friends and family may contribute to the ease of obtaining it. Perhaps thats why we use it so easily, because it's so easy to come by. Remember...just because man has legalized alcohol and it's easy to get, doesn't mean it's there for us to abuse. It's countless how many people abuse it everyday. Just because there are drugs available on the streets in every city, doesn't mean we have to go get them.  Just because some of our "friends" use drugs and alcohol doesn't mean we have to use them. Besides "true friends", those who really care about you, don't push there addictions on you. How many of us have had "friends" like that in our lives? 

For some people growing up was difficult, alot of bad things happened. Some people didn't have the kind of parents that would tell them of the dangers in the world. Some people grew up with all the material things they wanted, but not the emotional building blocks they needed. Some grew up with loving caring parents who did all they could to protect their children from the threats of the world....and still these children have tried drugs and alcohol. They believe they found a way to ease the discomfort and pain that comes with life. For the lucky ones who tried drugs or alcohol once or twice and found it was not for them, they were able to stay away from addiction. So why did addiction effect those who didn't want to walk away from it?  Why are so many able to just say no?  Could it be that we are born with some sort of brain damage? Something deep inside that medical science has yet to find a cure for?

Is addiction purely an emotional hook?  Whatever the case may be we as human beings have the ability to make a choice. We choose the road we want to walk, no one else can do that for us. The ones that took alittle longer to learn that drugs and alcohol were no good for them, got addicted easily. It's a difficult cycle to break free from, especially once we believe we can't live without it.  But we can!  We weren't put on this earth to exist in a haze of addiction.
Someone very close to me once wrote: "When the pain of getting high...is greater than the fear of getting clean, you'll be ready for change."  How many of you have reached that point?  Be honest with yourself and read that quote again.  These questions in this post are here for you to ask yourself and answer honestly. If you really want your life to change, for the better, then you have to get serious about your addiction and let it go.  It can be as easy as turning your back to it and walking away. The help is there. Are you ready? 

Written by: Sherrie Vitello
Copyright (c)2011 We Weren't  Put on this Earth to Exist in a Haze of Addiction. All Rights Reserved.
        

The Choice Is Yours.

We all know that planning ahead is always a good idea. Although sometimes in our lives things just pop-up unexpectedly.  What I'm talking about is your future. When I was growing up no one ever discussed with me the ideals of having a successful career, or going on to college.  I wished they did.  As I grew older and more independent I remember thinking how great it's going to be to have my own car, party with friends, my own place to live, my independence, no one telling me what to do, earning my own money. 

Although I did acquire all those things...I forgot about having to pays bills, the stress of getting up and going to work, sexual pressures, making sure I had enough money for food. But mostly...how was I going to take care of my 3 beautiful little girls?  Sure I did the marriage thing, had children, got divorced.  Then it was up to me to make it through each day, this time with my 3 baby girls. What was I going to do?  I've pretty much learned early in life that it's better to count on yourself then other people. Of course sometimes your family or close friends can be a life saver. 

I was determined to be able to take care of my girls. At that time...that bottle of wine was getting better looking everyday. Since I married young and began a family young(like alot of folks), all that thinking of being on my own, having my own place to live, supporting my own life, was now a distant memory. Now I had to think about surviving the bills, supplying food and meeting the needs of 3 daughters. Yup...I was in control. (Not!!) The point I'm making here is things in life can happen unexpectedly or planned. It's really up to what choices we make in our lives. 

If we decide to marry young, we can put off creating a family and continue with careers, schooling etc.  We can continue getting our lives together so our futures won't be an unexpected happening.  Or stay single and do the same thing. Again...choice is always up to us.  So what are you going to do?  You can only use drugs and alcohol so long before it catches up to you. By way of physical destruction, emotional hangovers, break downs, or death.  Or you can choose a better way. Plan for a better future. You, as individuals, are worth pursuing a better way of life. 

This is one thing about the American Way, I love. We have a choice to end up on the streets or living in a decent place. Once we realize that using drugs and drinking alcohol is a road to destruction, we can begin to heal ourselves by breaking the habit. But again...it's your choice.  I know 'the addicts thinking' will say: "...it's because of that, or this person that I'm like this..."  WRONG!  We each made the choice to take that drink and to do those drugs ...remember?!...and now you're so screwed up that you can't even reason clearly
as to how you got this way. Now it's your choice to get yourself out of this hell you're living or stay that way and end up where you really don't want to be.  It's a difficult process...it's not easy, I'm not going to bullshit you.  But you MUST remember...you are worth having a good life and being happy. Yes, you can be happy. Once you get your head out of the clouds and come to alittle clarity, you'll begin to see that there is a better way of living. So it's up to each of us, individually, to make our choices for our lives. I hope that all of us can make a positive choice, a good choice for all concerned. 

We weren't put on this earth to exist in the haze of addiction.  We can have control over our lives, if we just stick to being good to ourselves and caring about how we live. Put out the effort to create a better life. It will happen. The choice is yours.

Written by: Sherrie Vitello,  Enjoy the day.

Reflections for the New Year.

Well it's the New Year, 2011.  We all have to get use to writing the correct year now....like every new year.  So looking back on 2010, how was it for you?  Do you think it was a good year?  Did you accomplish things you've planned to do?  Were you able to achieve all of last years new years resolutions?  Well if you're like me, you accomplished some but not all of them.  But don't fret...there's always this new year.

We have to let go of the negative things or events that took place last year. Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now.  If there are things that helped us to make changes for the better, then carry them over into the new year. If there are things that we can improve on even better, then let's try to do that this year.  Make up your mind to be a better person.  To improve on things that were good last year but always have room for improvement. Whatever you feel can help you to exist in a positive light about yourself, your life, your situation, just do it!

Each day a new beginning.

This next excerpt is taken from the wonderful book: Each Day A New Beginning, by Karen Casey.  Acceptance of our past, acceptance of the conditions presently in our lives that we cannot change, brings relief. It brings the peacefulness we so often, so frantically seek.  We can put the past behind us. Each day a new beginning.  And each day of abstinence offers us the chance to look ahead with hope.

A power greater than ourselves helped us to find this program. That power is ever with us. When we fear facing new situations, or when familiar situations turn sour, we can look to that power for help in saying what needs to be said and for doing what needs to be done. Our higher power is as close as our breath. Conscious awareness of it's presence strengthens us, moment by moment.

Enjoy your new year to come, enjoy your life, enjoy your day.
Written by Sherrie Vitello

Don't Compromise Yourself...You Are All You Got!

When we don't know who we are, it's easy to compromise ourselves. When we don't know where we stand on an issue, it's easy to be swayed by a forceful voice. Values may be cloudy in our minds, or we may not be aware of them at all. It's then that we are vulnerable to the persuasion of another.

We are supported in our efforts, and we realize we have friends who don't want us to compromise ourselves-who value our struggle to know and to be true to ourselves. One of lives greatest gifts is discovering we can make decisions that represent us, our inner selves, and those decisions please us.

We all are familiar with the tiny tug of shame that locates itself in our solar plexus. When we "go along" when we give in on a personally important issue, we pay a consequence. We lose a bit of ourselves. Over the years we've lost many bits.  However...we always have a choice.

The Holidays are Among Us

Well everyone the holidays are upon us once again. This year just flew by didn't it?  With the holidays comes some temptations and triggers for alot of us. That eggnog sure looks goods. Party times are everywhere. For those who are working on staying clean and not falling for temptation to our addictions, this post is for you.

At work, with friends, with family...there are moments when we question our sobriety. We may even go as far as to think, "it's the holidays...it's only once a year, why not?"...or sure having "one" drink isn't bad. Even to think, smoking alittle tainted weed won't hurt. Some of us might even be tempted by some friends that will say; "Come on...it's just one line."  Friends we really shouldn't be around in the first place, but sometimes it happens.

This is where everything you know about staying clean/sober will come into action. Whatever you do...don't give into temptation. Don't be fooled by the thought of; "it's only once a year."  What happens when we do fall from grace of sobriety is the "domino effect."  Not to say that some folks can't say "No thanks!" to the occassional invitation to use.   

But for those who are tempted or think about using, you must be strong!  Just as a giant snowball starts out very small, so does our relapse. So have a soda or seltzer with lime, walk away from those who are using drugs at that party. Of course if you do relapse...that doesn't mean you have to stop your recovery all together. You may feel guilty about relapsing but don't fret...you can always reclaim your sobriety again.

Of course that doesn't mean it's ok for you to use once in awhile...it isn't.  The whole concept of getting clean/sober and staying that way is the resolve you want from your recovery. Alot of the time we relapse due to the influences around us. So you might want to consider who you are associated with. In recovery it's wise to stop associating with certain people because they become toxic to our recovery. I call these people 'toxic-friends'. 

Remember...a true friend  would understand that you are cleaning up your act and they won't try to influence you to use. A  true friend   won't use drugs or alcohol when they come around you. You might want to keep that in mind when you are around people you consider friends that are not clean or sober. Of course we as addicts will find ourselves thinking, "Gee...I need a drink to have a good time."  I struggle with this one all the time.

But once you realize that this in only the addiction talking, it helps to get rid of the craving. Get yourself a non alcoholic drink and just let that feeling go, get into the activity or create one. This way you won't have time to just sit there and think about getting high. Have a wonderful holiday everyone!

Enjoy the day.  :)

Written by; Sherrie Vitello

A Wonderful Quote from Celeste Vitello, Author of the Book: Through This Addicts Eyes. " When the pain of getting high is greater than the fear of getting clean, it's time to change."

Keep It Simple

All too ofter, we complicate our lives. We can wonder and worry our way into confusion, obsession or preoccupation, it's called, "what if?"  "should I?"  "what do you think?"  We seldom stop trying to figure out what to do, where to do it, how to meet a challenge, until someone reminds us to "keep it simple."  What we each discover, again and again, is that the solution to any problem becomes apparent when we stop searching for it. The guidance we need for handling any difficulty, great or small, can only come into focus when we remove the barriers to it, and the greatest barrier is our frantic effort to personally solve the problem.

We clutter our minds, we pray for an answer and yet don't become quiet enough, for long enough, to become aware of the direction to go, or the steps to take. And they are always there. Inherent in every problem or challange is its solution. Our greatest lesson in life may be to "keep it simple", to that no problem stands in our way because no solution eludes a quiet, expectant mind.

I have opportunities every day to still my mind, and the messages I need will come quietly. My answers are within me, now.

Quote by; Alice Roosevelt Longworth: "I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

Written by: Sherrie Vitello. Excerpts written by:  Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

Self Healing

Self  Healing begins when we except the fact that what we are doing to ourselves in our lives is not working out the way we would truly want them to. Whatever negative things you are doing to yourself, your body, your spirit has an effect on the other decisions you make in your life. If you're hung up on your past because you have had wrong things happen to you or you carry guilt due to some wrong things you may have done, you need to realize that the only way you can change those negative feelings is to let the things go that you can't make ammends to. You are living in the here and now and that opens up untold possibilities for new growth. 

Our inner self is enticed in new directions when our attention is fully in the present. When our minds are still on last night's argument or tommorrow's board meeting, we wear blinders to the activity at hand. Every single moment has something for us. Maybe a new piece of information, a piece that solves a problem that's been puzzling us. Perhaps a chance to make a new friend, one that will be there in a time of need. Letting go of yesterday frees us. We need not be burdened. It is gone. Our lives could be eased, so much, if we kept our focus on the experience at hand, where the problems we ponder have their solutions. Always. 

Being open to the present is our only chance for growth. These experiences today in our lives beckon us forward along the path meant for us. We are not guaranteed only joy today. But we are promised security. We may not be free of twinges of fear or confusion, but we can learn to trust even in the midst of adversity. We can remember that power greater than ourselves, whenever and wherever our steps are uncertain. Dwelling on our rebuffs, our rejections, invites further criticism. Attention to now and to the person here, now, is the only rightful response to life. Not being here, now, invites others to turn away, just as we have turned away.

   
If we listen to ourselves, to the innermost voice of our spirits, we know that we have the power to heal ourselves. Self-healing begins with making our own decisions about what we wear, what we do, who we are and deciding that we will be true to ourselves. With the help of our spiritual guide or higher power, we can resist the temptations to betray ourselves, for these temptations are born of fear; the fear that we are not good enough to be our "own physicians."  To except things that you cannot change, the power to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. To give away our powers binds us and causes us to suffer. But we can go to others for help without losing our own strength.


Written by Sherrie Vitello
Excerpts taken from the wonderful book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey.

Achieve A State Of Happiness.

This is one subject that we all think about once in awhile, and I have found that altho' difficult, we can achieve a state of happiness so long as we direct our thinking to that state of mind.  Sometimes I'll watch these talk shows that are targeted towards helping people with concerns of being overweight, being self critical, not knowing how to solve their problems, feelings of depression etc. and the one thing I find about these people with these problems is that they don't seem to know that it's their own thoughts, their own ways of seeing themselves, their own ways of focusing on more negative thoughts than positive thoughts that make them feel so helpless or inadequate. 

Let's face it....when you wake up in the morning and the first thought on your mind is, "Oh no...another day..." that's a hum-drum negative response to greeting the new day. Whereas if you were to greet the new day with a positive note, like, "It's going to be a good day..." you would probably feel alot better about starting the day. It's all a matter of what you tell yourself...how you're going to feel everyday. 

You can wake up every morning and say to yourself..."I'm going to have a good day today" or you can say to yourself, "I'm going to feel bad today". It's really up to what we say to ourselves.

I call that "Self Talk".  Some people ask "What can I do to achieve a state of happiness?"  For one, they can start writing a daily journal, take the time to write how you feel about the people in your life, your family, your job, your hobby, what made you happy today, what made you mad. Do this for about 2 to 3 months, faithfully, then read over what you've written, and take note of the things that made you feel negative, sad or angry and you'd like to change. There's your list to start making positive changes to.  Start with one thing at a time, take small steps and remember you have to walk before you can run.

So don't be too hard on yourself, you're not going to fix everything in one day, one week or even one month, it's going to take time to change the pattern of your thinking, but it can be done. Start trying to radiate an outward feeling of happiness. Feelings that are positive and happy will show outwardly and can create happiness around you and others. Divert negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Develop a positive outlook towards yourself. If you're unhappy because you're overweight, or your life isn't unfolding the way you'd like it to, start to make positive changes to those undesirable feelings and make it a goal to change to positive results. 

Remember, it's how you "Self Talk" to yourself that will set the course of your thoughts which will make the pattern of the way you think, change for the better. Which will help you achieve a state of happiness. It will take some effort on your part, but don't give up, don't fall into the pattern of being emotionally lazy, keep working toward a better outlook. See yourself as a positive effect on your surroundings and you will acheive your desired state of mind.
"As a man thinketh...so is he". Enjoy the day!

Wriiten by Sherrie Vitello

Curbing That Anger....

I believe we all know what it's like to get mad, angry!  Sometimes anger can be the cause for us to relapse. Especially when we are first starting to get clean.  You know that saying "count to 10" or "take a walk" as ridiculous as that sounds, it can actually help us to stop and think before we say something we might regret.  Plus don't forget the effects anger has on our blood pressure.  Take a moment to calm yourself before you communicate what you need/want to say. 

Sometimes it can be difficult to make good decisions when we're angry, so be sure 'not' to make life altering decisions when you're angry, give yourself time to sort through the anger and try to empathize.  It would also be a good idea to find out the root of the anger, whether you're dishing it out or receiving it from someone.

                                                                                                         

Changing how we think is key to helping us as we learn to become unaddicted.  Although anger is a normal emotion and feeling it makes us know we still have feelings, it can still lead to negative outcomes if we don't learn to channel it.  I have learned that anger is a good motivator, it can assert us to get into action.  Have you ever gotten angry at someone or something?  Think about all that energy you're using to feel that angry-emotion, now, what if you learned to channel that energy of anger-emotion towards something you need to accomplish?  

That is a great way to dissolve the negative feelings and channel them or turn them into something positive.  If you have too much trouble doing that on your own, you may need some counseling to help you regulate and to help you learn to control that anger.  Counseling can be going to a meeting and sharing your problem, or going to a counselor and speaking to them one on one.  Either way, it's a good idea for people with anger issues to find ways to curb that anger. 

Remember when you're just beginning to change your old ways of addiction to a clean way of living,  for most of us,  it's going to be an emotional roller-coaster for awhile.  But it's not permanent.  You will begin to feel better emotionally and physically.  Especially if you begin focusing on your health, diet and physical fitness.  You can live a clean life,  you can learn not to be angry,  you can feel good about who you are,  and you can be happy.

Trying to Control Things can Make Things Worse....

Most of us have struggled, willfully, with untold numbers of addictions, liquor, uppers, downers, sugar, chocolate, cigarettes, the opposite sex. The more we become determined to control our use or to abstain, the greater the compulsion felt for one drink, one bite, one puff. Giving in completely was the turning point.
Recovery helps each of us find relief from our primary addiction once we humble ourselves, accept our powerlessness, and ask for help. It can help us equally effectively, every day, with any problem we are willfully trying to control. Is a family member causing grief? Is a coworker creating anxiety? Has a close friend pulled away? We expend so much energy trying to manage outcomes! 

In most cases, our attempt to control will invite even more resistance. Recovery offers the way out of any frustrating situation. We can be mindful of our powerlessness and cherish the opportunities offered by our higher power. We can turn over whatever our problem is to God and quietly, trustingly, anticipate the resolution. It's guaranteed. Have faith in yourself, believe in the power of prayer. We're not only talking to God when we pray, we are talking to ourselves.

If you were to look into a mirror at yourself and say, "I feel good about myself today"...chances are you'll feel good throughout the day. You'll have the same effect negatively if you were to say something negative about yourself.  One good rule of thumb I did when I was changing my outlook about myself is, I would make sure that everyday I would say something nice to someone. Not only did it help that person feel good, it made me feel good as well. Try being more positive about yourself. You're on a journey here and you want it to turn out well.  Enjoy the day.
My writings here have been combined with Karen Casey's Book: Each Day a New Beginning.

Self Pity (the parasite)

Self-pity is a parasite that feeds on itself.  Many of us are inclined towards self-pity, not allowing for the balance of life's natural tragedies.  We will face good and bad times--and they will pass.  With certainty they will pass.  The attitude "Why me?" hints at the little compassion we generally feel for others' suffering.  Our empathy with others' even our awareness of their suffering, is generally minimal.  We are much too involved in our own.  Were we less self-centered, we'd see that blessings and tragedies visit us all in equal amounts. 

                                                          
Some people respond to their blessings with equanimity, and they quietly remove the sting from their tragedies.  We can learn to do both.  Recovery is learning new responses, feeling and behaving in healthier ways.  We need not get caught by self-pity.  We can always feel it coming on. And we can always let it go.  Self-pity may beckon today, fortunately, we can learn that we have other choices.
Taken from the wonderful book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey