How To Achieve A State Of Happiness

This is one subject that we all think about once in awhile.  I have found that although difficult we can achieve a state of happiness so long as we direct our thinking to that state of mind.  Sometimes I'll watch these talk shows that are targeted towards helping people with concerns, like being overweight, being self critical, not knowing how to solve their problems, feelings of depression etc. and the one thing I find about these people with these problems is that they don't seem to know that it's their own thoughts, their own way of seeing themselves, their own ways of focusing on more negative thoughts than positive thoughts that make them feel so helpless or inadequate.  Let's face it when you wake up in the morning and the first thought on your mind is, "Oh no...another day..." that's a hum-drum negative response to greeting the new day. Whereas if you were to greet the new day with a positive note, like, "It’s going to be a good day..." you would probably feel alot better about starting the day. 

It's all a matter of what you tell yourself and allow yourself to feel. 

You can wake up every morning and say to yourself "I'm going to have a good day today" or you can say to yourself, "Here we go again, another day".  It's really matters what we say to ourselves.  I call that self talk.  So you may ask, "What can I do to achieve a state of happiness?"  For one, you can start writing a daily journal.  Take the time to write how you feel about your day, the people in your life, your family, your job, your hobby, what made you happy today, what made you mad. Do this for about 2 to 3 months, faithfully. Then read over what you've written, and take note of the things that made you feel negative, sad or angry and which things you'd like to change. There's your list to start making positive changes to.  Start with one thing at a time, take small steps and remember you have to walk before you can run. Surround yourself with positive things, affirmations, watch positive tutorial videos, stay away from negative people.  If you must encounter them, as we all do sometimes, don't allow their negative energy to grab hold of you. Allow their negative vibs or energy to flow past you. Keep to your own feelings of staying positive.

Don't be too hard on yourself, you're not going to fix everything in one day, one week or even one month, it's going to take time to change the pattern of your thinking, but it can be done.  Start trying to radiate an outward feeling of happiness.  Feelings that are positive and happy will show outwardly and can create happiness around you and others.  Divert negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Don’t sabotage yourself by not acknowledging any negative thoughts, acknowledge them and tell yourself that these negatives do not serve you in anyway that’s positive. Then let those feeling go immediately. I like to envision my negative thoughts as floating up into the universe away from me.  As if leaving them to the creators. Develop a positive outlook towards yourself. If you're unhappy because you're overweight, or your life isn't unfolding the way you'd like it to, start to make positive changes to those undesirable thoughts and make it a goal to change to creating positive results. It is very possible for anyone of us to make changes for the better, but we must start with how we think about ourselves first. 

Remember, to change for the better, it's how you self talk to yourself that will set the course of your thoughts which will form the pattern of how you think.  Which will help you achieve a state of happiness. It will take some effort on your part, but don't give up, don't fall into the pattern of being emotionally lazy, keep working toward a better outlook. See yourself as a positive reflection on your surroundings and you will acheive your desired state of mind. Your thoughts create your life.

Copyright©2014. How To Achieve A State Of Happiness.Wriiten by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved. 

Skinny vs Fat - We Need To Have A Change In Mindset

In a discussion about overweight people and how they are seen. I couldn't help but interject my perspective about it. I see the problem of there being too many conflicting opinions out there. Altho' doctors have proven that being overweight is unhealthy and it can be for us. Certainly being at our proper body weight for our height is key to not being susceptible to many health issues. The views that a woman who is overweight is of lower value or appreciation than a skinny woman is merely due to the concreting of lustful desires by people who are in a position to put it out there that this is how it should be. It goes as far back as the dawn of man. The same applies for men who are too skinny or overweight also. The man who looks like Adonis, all cute, gorgeous, has a nice body with ripped muscles. Will definitely turn heads and is pleasant to see.

We all look at attractive people and seem to appreciate their looks over someone who may not be as attractive or as in shape. Because most people only see the outside. This is due to what we've always been told, what we've all seen growing up, what kind of examples we're subjected to, whats always been in magazine covers and movies. We've been programmed to accept a thin attractive person over a fat person. Even when applying for a job, it seems that a thin woman or man would be more likely to get the position first. I'm not saying we shouldn't be healthy and care about our bodies. I'm saying we need to have a change in mindset that allows people to develop a healthy attitude towards their bodies and people need to be taught, from childhood, a form of living healthy and having a positive attitude about themselves. Some would say that a person who is overweight is usually compensating for some sort of insecurity, lack of belief in themselves or they may lack the ability to correct or change their negative thinking. Of course that IS wrong thinking which can be and needs to be changed.

Healthy mind, healthy body. Everyone is born with their own ability to achieve what they aspire to. But sometimes people receive negative feedback or are subjected to wrong thinking. Because we have the ability to change how we think and feel, we can overcome negative input and turn it into our strengths. In doing that we learn self confidence, we have positive self esteem and there's a positive energy we feel and we reflect outside ourselves. Have you ever noticed how bright and attractive a positive person is? They have a healthy energy or glow that is nice to be near. Thats the beauty we ALL need to develop within ourselves. Seeing a person that is beautiful on the outside is pleasant to look at, like a beautiful painting or work of art. Whatever things you may think about when you look at a beautiful person is of your own making. It doesn't determine that we have to look like that person in order to have self worth or value as a human being. Young people truly need to learn this truth. I've never seen it etched in stone that we only have self-worth or value if we are handsome or pretty, thin or fat. That view was man made.

All this, is about what we see growing up, taught as children and how we learn to love ourselves and appreciate the beauty within. I heard a quote once and it fits right into what I'm trying to state here: Healthy mind and the body will follow. In doing so we can all shine and share the light of true beauty as it is meant to be seen. Don't be influenced by what you hear from self absorbed conceited people. See yourself and others for who they really are in heart & in actions. Don't believe what you see in magazines, on TV or in movies either. All that fakeness is just to get you to buy something or watch something. Consider the source, its not a rule or way of life. Love yourself and love will be allowed to exist. 


 Copyright(c)2014.Skinny vs Fat - We Need To Have A Change In Mindset.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Music and Song - Allow Yourself To Feel The Heal

Have you ever noticed how music or a song can lift you up? Even when you're at an uncertain time of your life music/song can reach down inside of you and help you feel better. Even if for a few moments. Its those few moments we need to hold on to that help us to come back from the emotional pain caused by something that may have gone wrong in our lives. Music/song is a healing thing, a tool. It won't solve your troubles but it can be used as a tool to help in feeling better and healing oneself. When we feel better, we are more positive and productive. We can see clearer to finding better solutions. If you're like most humans you really don't like feeling down and out. And so long as you keep your heart open to good things you can lift yourself out of a bad mood or the emotional pain by allowing yourself to feel the healing and uplifting emotion that music/song can bring us. Of course when times call for us to grieve we should always allow for that emotion to run its course. You can't change the fact that there is a lost loved one. Music/song when grieving for a loved one, can bring about happier times you shared because it allows us to remember how much our lost loved one enjoyed that certain song. Or music/song can bring about a happy memory of an experience we shared with a lost loved one. At those times, hold on to those memories and emotions. It can help us to heal.

Grieve when you must, but don't hold on to the grief. Allow it to leave you as well. This goes for anger also. Although at times, anger can be a good motivator we should never hold on to the emotion of anger either. It will harden your heart and burn a hole in your soul. However if you like music, which everyone seems to be touched by some kind or another kind of music, and you're inspired by it, you can also be healed by it. Point of interest: It has been proven that when people are allowed to listen to their favorite music while working, they are actually more productive. Even cows produce more milk when allowed to listen to music. Let yourself hear and feel that music/song. Let it help you to let go of things you may be feeling that may not be good for you to feel. These negative feelings could be what is holding you back from whatever you aspire to achieve. Just like that old saying: "..music soothes the savage beast.." it can also soothe the downsides of life. None of us are impervious to the downsides of life. No matter who you are or where you are in your life, downsides will always rear its awful head at some time or another. Life is full of tribulations. What matters is how do we deal with the throws of life. We should deal with them in a way that can be positive and add to our growing as a spiritual being?  Not religious but spiritual. There is a difference.

When things occur that are out of our control, at first, we may not want to feel or hear anything good because we are adjusting to the feelings of impact of the negative occurrance. Give yourself alittle time to get your head around what has happened to you. But don't dwell in sadness. Then once the sudden abrupt effect of whatever painful or negative experience has eased off alittle, let it go, give it to the universe, God, Buddha or whatever you conceive your higher power to be. Then open your heart and your mind and fill it with the good feelings of healing you recieve by whatever favorite music or song you enjoy. It may sound ridiculous to some people, but maybe thats because they've never tried to let the harmony one recieves from music/song to help in the healing process. Just sitting there comfortably, quiet for a few moments. Allowing the sound to flow through the air, through our minds and body.

 

Let your mind relax, let the hurt and anger float away from you. Ask the universe to help you recover from whatever it may be that is causing disruption in your life. It can be like that while listening to music. Or it can be a more physical experience where you dance around and sing along with your favorite song. Whichever way you choose to help yourself heal. Try it with music/song. You may be surprised to find just how healing this process can be. For those who understand and grasp what I'm trying to say here put on your favorite music/song right now and energize yourself. Allow yourself to feel the heal. It can be very helpful for us all in times of distress. Carry one of your favorite songs or music with you throughout your day. Even if you only hum it to yourself. And if you get the chance to hear it again, throughout your day, then get REenergized by listening to it. Embrace it and allow the good feelings you receive from it to uplift you. It can truly be an inspiration. Enjoy the day.



Copyright(c)2013.Music and Song - Allow Yourself To Feel The Heal.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.

How Do I Reach Out For Help - What About Support Groups?

Someone has stated that they don't quite understand this sobriety thing, how to reach out or get connected. A lot of people feel that way when first changing their lives for the better. When you've realized that you need to change you've just done what you question. You have already begun reaching out. At this point, getting involved in a home group is very beneficial to you. You can find a variety of information online. GO! You'll see. Be sure to ask where you can get a schedule-book with all the locations and time-schedules in it. Don't feel bad about going to meetings, everyone there has the same goal, more than less. Even though at first we all may feel awkward at an unfamiliar place. Stick with a place for a few visits and get a feel for the group. If you're not comfortable with a place go to another place. Until you feel comfortable about going there all of the time. Its a process, so take your time. But GO! At first it may seem like its useless but it isn't. Then again you may find a place right off that you'll feel really good about. You may also want to check out the selected groups for men or women only. The first step is recognizing that you have to change, so you are already on your way to changing for the better. Now you need to learn the tools of how to deal with keeping to it. Remember how far you would go to get your DOC? (works for Drink or Drug of choice.) Use that same persistence and desire to get the support & learn the tools you need to stick to your sobriety.
Its ALL worth it.  

 

This is one journey that is more successful when you have support from others. Because addiction is very stubborn about staying in your life. It will cause you to have cravings and triggers influenced by the social structure you are subjected to everyday. Its a monkey on your back and its holding on to you very strongly. You'll need to learn how not to give in to it. Because of all the influence there is in society for most of us it can be difficult to overcome, at first. But by having support and direction from your group, you will become strong enough to overcome those influences that would otherwise get the better of you. If you are fortunate enough to connect  with  a "good" sponsor, its a very good idea to do so. You may have to go through a couple of sponsor's though before you find one that really is active in helping you stay clean and sober. But don't despair, you will find one. Although some people may not be as genuine as others, you can connect with the right person. Don't give up trying. A sponser can become an important associate in your journey to staying clean and sober. Look for someone who has been clean and sober for more than 2 years. In doing so, this person has honed the tools for staying away from the addiction. You want someone who has a positive outlook and solid emotional stability. So look for these qualities before you ask someone to be your sponsor.

 

 

What about relationships? One rule of thumb you should always stick to during recovery and that is, NEVER get romantically involved with your sponsor, people in your group, or even people outside of your group. Especially within your first year of going to meetings. Why is this important? Because when you're in the first stages of recovery you are not emotionally ready or prepared to take on any issues that come with a relationship. Just the common events of it can be stressing. A lot of times when things get stressed or go wrong in a relationship, it can cause you to relapse. Sometimes it can cause worse things to happen as well. Its safer for your sobriety and for you to keep any outside emotional demands from occurring. If you're already in a relationship, hopefully your partner is attending meetings as well. Either for themselves or to learn how to support the partner in recovery. Both people in a relationship will need to learn how to deal with sobriety whether both are addicts or not. Also remember just because you are going to a meeting place where most people are working at the same thing, sobriety, don't think that everyone there is a wonderful, trust worthy, supportive person. Even though we'd like to think that about everyone, there will be some people there with their own agenda. They may not be as genuine about their sobriety as others. Something else to keep in mind.

 

                            

All in all attending a support group for any addiction is a very useful tool for people. You get from it what you want by attending. Take the time to talk to someone who has been going to meetings for a long time. Someone who has been clean and sober for a while. You can feel their inner-strength, self assurance and positive attitude. It doesn't matter how many people are at a meeting either. You can attend a small group or a large group, its up to you. But going is key to feeling better and staying clean and sober. You are going because you want to learn to live life on life's terms, without having to use drugs or alcohol to exist. The cravings diminish overtime, the triggers are kept at bay because you've learned how to deal with them. You wake up and actually feel grateful for the day. Like a lot of things, you get out of it what you put into it. But you have to make up your mind to go everyday even more than once a day if necessary. This is your journey to sobriety. You are going to these meetings to help yourself get on the road of a clean, sober and happy life. This is the most important thing you can do for yourself and your life. You have to take it serious in order for your recovery to be achieved. And it can be achieved even if you're at that point of your addiction where you believe you can't exist without your DOC. As a matter of fact its when you think that.. that its time to get the help you need. Its time to get your life back. Just Go!

 

 

 

Copyright(c)2013.How Do I Reach Out For Help - What About Support Groups? Written by SherrieVitello. All Rights Reserved.

Addiction and Denial - The 2 Components That Make Up Addiction.

   I was researching some ideas about articles on addiction and I came across Dr.  Robert Lefever's video's. I reviewed a few of them and found that they really focus on the indepth problems of addiction. The how's, why's, what can be done, how can I help myself, etc. The 3 most common addictions are alcohol, drugs, and eating disorders(both anorexia & bulimia.) The one thing I found was although we don't recognize it when we're actively in our addiction, we do have control over what happens to us. Once we accept the fact that we need to get help. We can overcome the powers of the addiction. But we first have to acknowledge and except that we need help to fight our problem.

Take a moment and have a look at this video, which is informative and very helpful for any of us either just beginning to get clean and sober or to help us stay on track of our sobriety. Dr.  Lefever makes some really "right on the head" points. He knows what will work for addicts who want to change for the better. He himself was an addict for 21 years, he didn't think he had a problem either, like alot of addicts think. Until the pain of his addiction was so bad that he had to make a change. Watch the video, you'll see what I mean. It just might help to get someone back on the right track to living instead of killing themselves.
Thanks for watching and reading my post. Enjoy the day!

Dr Robert Lefever-MA, MB, B Chir. - In 1986, Founded The PROMIS Recovery Centre, which pioneered and developed a new approach combining the benefits of several proven therapeutic models. The approach was so radical it was initially met with scepticism by the medical press. However, word rapidly spread, through patients’ recommendations, that the approach was miles ahead of anything else available. We quickly established ourselves as the only place to go.

Weightloss?...This is a Lifestyle Change.

I was watching one of those tv-infomercials the other morning about exercising to lose weight. I couldn't help notice how hard the narrator was trying to get the point across of how much weight you could lose. They would show a woman that was about 5'4", 200lbs. and after just 3 months of using this certain exercise video, she lost 65lbs. Really??... For anyone of us out there trying to lose weight, (who isn't?), please don't stress out over the bs these informercials try to shove down our throats.  Just 3 months huh? 

It'll take most of us 3 months just to get the routine down, let alone doing the routine as coordinated and as fast as they show in the informercial. Believe me I know, I've tried. Plus...why is it that they only show young people?  I mean don't things start heading south after age 40?...Geez!  Ok I'm getting off my point here. Back to the point I'm trying to make. I know in this world everyone is trying to make money using those not too realistic infomercials and advertising. But come on, surely you know that most of those products don't do half of what they state. Plus some of those products are too expensive.

So what can we do to lose the weight and not lose our minds in the process?  For one, with the availability of computers and technology, we have access to all sorts of information. Thats the one thing we should take advantage of here. Taking a few minutes to obtain information about the things that can help us achieve what we are setting out to achieve. If you can afford to go to a dietician, then go get accessed and work out an eating plan that works for you. On the way home, DO NOT stop by the local store for any snacks. One thing I've learned in my journey of losing this middle-aged alien fat is we have to work on what works for us.

If you just listen to all these exercise guru's that tell you 10 different things, you will surely get discouraged. Although we all have the same body parts, inside our bodies can be very different from each other. Due to our bodies make up and our emotional state of mind. Metabolsm, heredity, ability to burn fat, motivation, attitude etc. It's not like you can go on a diet, exercise for a few months when you're feeling up to it and achieve the body shape you're looking for. You have to realize that this is a lifestyle change NOT a short journey.   

You can't do a lifestyle change for a few months. It's exactly what it says it is..."life style."  Look at what you're eating. Ask yourself, do I eat too much fried foods?  Am I stopping by too many fast food restaurants for a quick lunch? Do you tell yourself, "I don't have the time to make a healthy lunch."  Really??... Well ask yourself this, "How much do I care about my health now, in 10, 20, or 30 years from now?"  Are you one of those people that say, "Awww, I'll worry about 10, 20, or 30 years from now when I get there." Well guess what?  Everything you do for your bodies health now...will benefit you greatly in those 10 to 30 years from now.

That's right. If you change to eating healthy, learn about those foods that burn fat, increases the metabolism, foods that help prevent deseases, don't eat fried foods, eat brightly colored veggies and fruits, stop eating at those fast food restaurants, you won't only add years to your life span, you'll add healthy years.  Of course this is not an easy task. So start with changing how you see yourself. Learn to love and respect yourself. When I look at myself in the mirror, which I'm not particularly fond of doing, I see that I need to keep working at my body. I know I have a few more pounds to lose, I'm not bathing suit ready.

But the difference is my attitude about myself has changed.  I no longer look away in discouragement or disgust. I look and see some improvement, some weight loss and I smile. I tell myself I'm doing good, I'm feeling better about me, and thats what I hold on to, that keeps me motivated. Oh and if I were you, get into the habit of not using the bathroom scale. As you get into exercising regularly you'll start to build muscle and muscle weighs more than fat, so if you step on the scale and you've gained instead of lost weight but you've been working your food program and exercising regularly, don't despair. 

As your routine gets more involved and your body starts to respond to your new lifestyle, you'll see the changes in your body, it won't happen overnight, but it does come. Without a doubt, your body will change and you will lose that excess weight.  But remember, be fair to yourself, don't have unrealistic expectations about how long a period of time it will take. Experience shows when we commit to ourselves and we are determined to achieve what we have set out to do, things have a way of working in our favor. So what ever you do, don't stop. It's when things seem their toughest that we must not give up.  Enjoy the day!

Written by: Sherrie Vitello

Self Healing

Self  Healing begins when we except the fact that what we are doing to ourselves in our lives is not working out the way we would truly want them to. Whatever negative things you are doing to yourself, your body, your spirit has an effect on the other decisions you make in your life. If you're hung up on your past because you have had wrong things happen to you or you carry guilt due to some wrong things you may have done, you need to realize that the only way you can change those negative feelings is to let the things go that you can't make ammends to. You are living in the here and now and that opens up untold possibilities for new growth. 

Our inner self is enticed in new directions when our attention is fully in the present. When our minds are still on last night's argument or tommorrow's board meeting, we wear blinders to the activity at hand. Every single moment has something for us. Maybe a new piece of information, a piece that solves a problem that's been puzzling us. Perhaps a chance to make a new friend, one that will be there in a time of need. Letting go of yesterday frees us. We need not be burdened. It is gone. Our lives could be eased, so much, if we kept our focus on the experience at hand, where the problems we ponder have their solutions. Always. 

Being open to the present is our only chance for growth. These experiences today in our lives beckon us forward along the path meant for us. We are not guaranteed only joy today. But we are promised security. We may not be free of twinges of fear or confusion, but we can learn to trust even in the midst of adversity. We can remember that power greater than ourselves, whenever and wherever our steps are uncertain. Dwelling on our rebuffs, our rejections, invites further criticism. Attention to now and to the person here, now, is the only rightful response to life. Not being here, now, invites others to turn away, just as we have turned away.

   
If we listen to ourselves, to the innermost voice of our spirits, we know that we have the power to heal ourselves. Self-healing begins with making our own decisions about what we wear, what we do, who we are and deciding that we will be true to ourselves. With the help of our spiritual guide or higher power, we can resist the temptations to betray ourselves, for these temptations are born of fear; the fear that we are not good enough to be our "own physicians."  To except things that you cannot change, the power to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. To give away our powers binds us and causes us to suffer. But we can go to others for help without losing our own strength.


Written by Sherrie Vitello
Excerpts taken from the wonderful book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey.