Gratitude Is Key To Being Happy.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Practice gratitude everyday and even tho' its impossible to have 100% of joy and happiness all of the time, due to life's negative absurdities. It always comes down to choice in how we allow these things to effect us. I am not saying we should have the attitude of not giving a dam about things, because thats negative in itself. Its more than that. Everything is a lesson, meant to teach us more about ourselves and to help us develop our higher thinking and... spirituality. So if we choose to be emotionally burdened by the sadness and bs in the world, its not that it occurs that makes you feel bad, its how you allow it to effect you and for how long, that dictates your feelings and attitudes. Sure there are many sad and heartbreaking things that occur for which we can do nothing for to help it. We can feel true empathy for the unfortunate. Take from those things the lesson, embrace it and carry on with calm, confidence and better direction for yourself. As an old saying went: " I use to complain about my shoes until I saw a man who had no feet." Be grateful for all things in your life. Strive to be happy. Happy life day everyone!

 

 

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Copyright(c)2016.GratitudeIsKeyToBeingHappy.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Sometimes You Need To Take A Break From Your Life

I had the priviledge recently to visit my family. I'll be honest I didn't know how things were going to go because we haven't seen each other in years. Even though we've kept intouch by way of the internet. Altho' I knew my family loved me I think I was more concerned about how I felt about myself. I invisioned having a positive, happy time and thats exactly what happened. Perhaps what they say about visualizing things is true. I made a promise to myself before I left. That I would keep to a positive outlook throughtout the entire experience and stay open to any constructive criticism I may receive. You see, I was actually on a quest. A quest to find out how to go about the sudden changes that have taken place in my life. I needed to find away to heal and renew. Honestly I was fearful of what could happen if I didn't embrace these changes. The problem was, I wasn't sure how. My daughter, who is now a mother herself is one of the most spiritual wise old souls I have the honor of knowing. She will speak the truth about how she see's things even if it may seem alittle harsh, but not to be mean more like being real. I believe thats a good thing. In fact it was she who said to me: "Mom.. sometimes you need to take a break from your life!" That one sentence spoke volumes that struck a chord in my heart. I knew at that point I had to go visit my family. Because of the changes that had suddenly taken place in my life, I needed to take a break from it. I embraced everything about my trip. Getting ready to go, packing, making sure everything was secure. Taking the train ride, riding through the states. Talking to my seat partners and enjoying the conversations without making anything a negative experience. Altho' I was tired, I truly enjoyed the ride.

Being there, visiting my family I realized just how busy and full their lives are too. Here I thought I had such a busy schedule. But being in observence of how many things my daughters do everyday was amazing. It made me think of how busy I was too when I was younger and raising my girls and all the responsibilities that came with it. I was proud to see how well they've adjusted to the throws of life. Playing with my grandchildren was awesome. It was so uplifting for me to have fun with them, playing games, holding them and raising them up high, chasing them as the tickle-monster, playing hide and seek. Hearing their pure heartfelt laughter was so beautiful. It was very fulfilling and my heart was full of love and joy. Visiting and sharing in all of the activities I did with my daughters made me feel so close to them. I even got my hair styled in a French braid, which I love, by my daughter Gina. My youngest daughter, by 4 minutes, Michelle was able to visit and help with decorating of the Christmas tree, we had so much fun. Decorating the Christmas tree, helping the little ones place decorations on the tree. Lifting my grand daughter up so she could place the star at the top of the tree. That was, I felt, an honor. And in all the mist of this joyful occassion I would sometimes come back to thinking about my circumstances that bought me to visit my family in the first place. When my oldest daughter Celeste, and I were alone, just sitting on the porch enjoying the evening air. We would talk about my circumstances. I was looking for ways to feel better about things. To be able to carry on without things getting me down. My daughter, in her "real but loving wisdom" told me that the universe will open up and show me the way. Perhaps what has bought me to this time of my life is the universe in action. Making it so I have to face my demons or fears and get up, get out and do the thing I think I cannot do. Developing a home-based business over the last 5 years has caused me to become more of a homebody. But now..things are different and I have to "get back out there."

Even though I am aware of what she said, hearing it from someone who loves me solidifies what I already knew. It actually gave me wings. Because sometimes we all need to be reminded or just hear the words. As the days got closer to my going back home. I was feeling better about what I had to face even though I wasn't sure how to go about it. But I believed it would all come clear in time. Sometimes when things happen to us we feel we need to regress or hide. We don't want to be a bother to anyone. But if we open our hearts and allow the universe to open our lives we can find that there are those who are happy to help, console, guide and just have an open ear. I figured I could handle everything that life throws at me, but I found I was made whole and even stronger by allowing things to unfold the way they are meant to unfold. To embrace changes and to have faith in myself. And my faith was uplifted and restored to a higher level than I thought possible. I truly enjoyed the time I spent visiting my family, hugging them and laughing. I was so happy to be able to visit my mother and my oldest brother too. Surprised and unexpected, when I hugged my mom tears were in my eyes, but they were happy tears. It was the right time to visit and shake myself lose from, what I conceived as my safety zone in order to get myself rejuvenated and restored. The ride home felt good. I felt more secure in what I had to do and how I viewed things going on in my life. I realized while riding back on the train, that many people know exactly whats going on in the world and many people have the same feelings, fears, desires, opinions and thoughts that I have as well. So in realizing that I actually wasn't alone in my journey. That gave me a better sense of society too.

Every step that I took was meant to happen. Every person I've met along the way was meant to be. And thats how I saw it. Its funny, you know, when we feel lost or unsure we should always look for the lesson we are meant to learn. Whatever happens in our lives is another day to learn how to handle it. As long as I can go to sleep at night and think to myself that I did all I could today to be productive, to accomplish things that needed to be done, to allow myself to live life on lifes terms and make the best out of it. Then I know I'll be alright. Even when things seem uncertain when we view them as what we need to learn from the situation in order to grow as a human being, things will unfold for us so long as we allow them to do so. Keeping the belief. On to the next!

Dedicated with love to my 3 daughters, grandchildren, mother and brother.

Copyright(c)2013.SometimesYouNeedToTakeABreakFromYourLife.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.

Advertising verses Inner Beauty? How it effects our self-image.

   ("Do I look as good as that woman in that commercial?")

One of the biggest struggles facing young people today, is self-image. Everywhere you look, on TV, on billboards, in magazines, videos, movies, 90% of the time it's all beautiful perfect people. Advertising verses inner beauty and self-image all of the time. This suffocating display of everyone being perfect or beautiful, can be very difficult for young people. Especially during junior high and high school years for both boys and girls. Girls worry about being popular, being pretty enough, having the nice clothes, having the prettiest accessories. Whereas boys, although not shown as much, they have to be worried about being cool, hanging with the coolest guys, and when old enough having the coolest car. It just seems to be all material things and outer image. Of course in reality, eventually, this is not the way it is. Somewhere long ago, someone decided that being the perfect, sexiest, handsomest, prettiest, skinniest, finest looking human being, is the best way to sell things, and it's worked, quite well, all this time. How many times have we thought about buying a product and thinking to ourselves that we will get the same results as what we saw in that advertising? You know you did that too..LOL!

Some advertising has used average people, older folks, mothers with their children, dads with their kids and pets, in an attempt to make the people watching, believe that this advertiser is just like them. The "average folk." That advertising technique works too in a lot of cases. But all in all, these advertising's and commercials are really after one thing, and that is to get the public to buy their product. Some advertising is very funny or have a catchy tune. Those are the ones people seem to remember the most. You can believe these advertisers who create these commercials know this. But just what are these advertisers saying to people that are subjected to the falsity that in order to get the same results or work as well, you have to look as good as those models do on television, have the same great looking car, or beautiful clothes. Sure..everyone wants to look great, but at what price and stress-level does it cost our young people in today's materialistic society? Everyday people are getting ready for work, school, going out and visiting with friends, just being in the public eye. They change outfits, change shoes, put on makeup, spray cologne or perfume and primp, guys do this too, just not as extravagant, to make themselves look as good as possible, all in the effort of being attractive or sexy.

I'm not saying we should all walk around smelly, dirty and grungy looking. Eeeeww! Although for some people that seems to be their way. I just think that in our country, and in many societies, we put way too much emphasis on the outer beauty of things instead of looking inside where beauty is found, is made and lives. There's nothing wrong with having nice things. Things that we've worked for, bought with our hard earned money, built up from nothing. Things that we enjoy, and things that make our lives filled more with gratitude, than vanity. I just think that young people are faced with more materialistic stress then necessary and it's greatly due to the falsehood of advertising and commercials that our children are subjected to on a daily basis. We probably will never get rid of this type of advertising either. So what can we do or how can we help our children? It's up to the parents to teach their children not to be so vain or gullible about what they see advertised. For some young people, they will have to learn this lesson on their own because their own parents are very materialistic. Which makes it even harder for them to learn this life lesson. When we teach our children to believe in themselves, teach them to have good character, to know that they are just as good as anyone else, but not better than everyone else, to be humble, it makes it easier for that child to grow up with a sense of assurance and belief in themselves. Without having to adorn an overpriced, unrealistic result of a product they saw advertised.

Young people that are raised with self-assurance tend to stay in focus as to who they are as an individual all through their lives. Even when people are trying to "find themselves," having been taught self-assurance, will usually lead that person back to their right path. Instead of falling by the wayside trying to keep up with all the falseness in advertising, that they believe may be true. But sad to say, there will be those who will not learn this life lesson. What you will find when people do not learn this life lesson is they become very vain, materialistic and self absorbed. They worry about every little sign that may cause them imperfection. They may even become bitter or angry about the fact that they are no longer able to look like all that false advertising that they grew up believing was true. So the lesson here is, there's nothing wrong with wanting to look good so long as it is not done out of self-serving vanity or being conceited. Being happy and self accepting has always given us an outward glow of beauty, whether we have the most current fashion line or not. Realizing that beauty comes from within, believing in our own abilities and character that is what will shine through from the inside out. That will give us the true beauty within ourselves instead of what we find in all that surface falsehood. That is "true beauty." Food for thought. :)

　

　
Copyright(c)2013. Advertising verses Inner-Beauty? Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Self Acceptance - Builds Inner Strength

I love the writings of Karen Casey in her book: Each Day A New Beginning. Here she writes about Acceptance. God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. Many times, yesterday, last week, today and even tomorrow, we'll come..face to face with a seemingly intolerable situation. The compulsion to change the situation, to demand that another person change the situation is great. What a hard lesson it is to learn we can change only ourselves. The hidden gift in this lesson is that as our activities change, often the intolerable situations do too. Acceptance, after a time, smooth all the ripples that discourage us. And it softens us. It nurtures wisdom. It attracts joy and love from others. Ironically, we often try to force changes that we think will loosen love and lessen struggle. Acceptance can do what our willpower could never accomplish. As we grow in wisdom, as we grow in understanding, as we realize the promises of this, we'll stand ready, as an individual, to weather all our personal storms. Like the willow in the wind, we'll bend rather than break. And we'll be able to help others become wise through our example.

So many people, at one time or another, try to find ways to feel complete. To be accepting of things can help our journeys be more enjoyable. It all starts within ourselves. It doesn't hinder our abilities when we learn to accept. In essence acceptance relieves us of the pressures of trying to cope or deal with situations in which we would like to change but cannot. That doesn't mean we should accept all things. In no way is that meant. You can change yourself, your situation, increase your chances of being more accepting of yourself. There are things within our lives, in ourselves that we can change and knowing that we can change them is in essence acceptance. We accept the idea of changing for the better. We do the best we can to do so and we self-accept ourselves. When we make positive strides in our lives, be proud of yourself, be happy that you were able to make a change. Acknowledging that to yourself is key to self acceptance. Strive to be happy.


Copyright(c)2013.Written by Sherrie Vitello, excerpts from the book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey. All Rights Reserved.   

Have You Had A Hug Today? - The Outstanding Benefits of Hugging

Did you know that when you hug someone it not only gives you a good feeling but it also helps to reduce deseases that can effect your overall health i.e. heart desease and blood pressure issues. Research has found that hugging increases the bonding or love hormone, Oxytocin, which decreases the risk of heart desease. Also hugging decreases the hormone, Cortisol, which decreases blood pressure. Although studies show that the decreases in Cortisol(the Fat-Causing-hormone)is mostly found in women. Oxytocin was found to increase in both men and women, especially those in healthy, positive, loving relationships. A research study was conducted by Dr. Karen Grewen, Researcher/Psychologist and results showed that handholding and hugging decreased the effects of cortisol caused by stress.

Interesting Facts from Wikipedia: Oxytocin is best known for its roles in female reproduction. It is released in large amounts after distension of the cervix and uterus during labor and after stimulation, facilitating birth and breastfeeding. Recent studies have begun to investigate oxytocin's role in various behaviors, including orgasm, social recognition, pair bonding, anxiety and maternal behaviors. For this reason, it is sometimes referred to as the "love hormone."

Cortisol is a steroid hormone or glucocorticoid, produced by the adrenal gland. Sometimes referred to as the fat-causing hormone. Studies show that due to the release of cortisol in the body it has been connected to increased abdominal fat. It is released in response to stress and a low level of blood glucocorticoids. Its primary functions are to increase blood sugar through gluconeogenesis; suppress the immune system; and aid in fat, protein and carbohydrate metabolism. It also decreases bone formation. During pregnancy, increased production of cortisol between weeks 30-32 initiates production of fetal lung surfactant to promote maturation of the lungs.

So in other words, the more positive and stable relationships are the better it will benefit our health. Perhaps those peace loving hippies from the seventies that would always say: "Make love not war.." weren't far off the mark of the benefits of holding and hugging one another. As human beings we are social creatures by nature. Studies have shown that people who are married, have friends and are social, tend to be healthier and happier. Which makes me wonder about people that are anti-social or have antisocial personality disorders. There must be some sort of emotional or biological distortion with those people that cause them to be that way. Some people don't even want to be touched, let alone hugged, and they will avoid getting close to anyone physically.

It has been found that those people have other emotional issues that could probably use some form of counseling. This is not a ridiculous claim. The absence of touch can have an effect on our emotions. The positive benefits touch has on us emotionally and physically are key to retaining a heathly sense of well being. I can't help but think that how we feel about getting touched or hugged stems from when we are babies. A child can grow up disturbed or having social problems with others due to them not being nurtured properly, which normally involves loving hugs and positive reinforcement. Where as a child that was raised in a loving family that was hugged and nurtured grew up having self-assurance and they too were a loving human-being. Of course we can't dismiss the fact that no matter how much we love our children some will fall into the wrong crowd of peers and can become lost and change their entire outlook towards others and life.

For them, even though they came from a loving, nurturing childhood, they have chosen to be influenced by others, whether positive or negative, and they will have to learn from their experiences. Even so, usually people will come to their senses once they've realized they have made a mistake, and they will fall back on the key character builders they learned as a child. Hopefully those were positive reinforcements and nurturing times. Positive touch(or stroking)has been shown to facilitate physical and psychological functioning paritcularly in terms of reducing stress, relieving pain, increasing the ability to cope and general overall health. So when you wake up in the morning take a few moments to hug your spouse, your children, your pets. Even when its appropriate, hugging your co-workers is extremely beneficial too. This can significantly improve your quality of life. Enjoy the day!

\Sources: University of North Carolina, Dr. Karen Grewen-Researcher/Psychologist, Dr. Ben Kim-Natural Health Care, Wikipedia Encyclopedia

Copyright(c)2011.Have You Had A Hug Today?-The Outstanding Benefits of Hugging.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.

Living An Unhappy Life - The Causes and Effects.

Someone once said - "There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living." (Author Unkown)

A dear friend sent me this parable the other day and its been on my mind ever since. I keep seeing how it relates so well to those that are struggling with their happiness. What are the causes of them living an  unhappy life?  No matter what we say to those we care about, who are at a bad time in their life, its so hard sometimes to make one see a better way. Its actually heart wrenching to know that someone we love and care about is living a life of self destruction. So much so that they can't even see their own way out of it. What can we do for them? We can offer them support and guidance, hoping that it may help them, but unless these people change from within nothing we do will really help. Whatever our loved one may be suffering from that makes their lives miserable, the actual cause of it we can despise, but we shouldn't despise that person who is suffering from it. It could be happening to anyone of us. 

Even when we've tried so hard to help someone we care about that is struggling in their lives we eventually get that sinking feeling inside that we can't do anything more for them. We can find ourselves feeling at a loss, what do we do now? No one has the right answer here because we can't control people, not really. Unless they want to be controlled and those folks usually end up living in some controlling type situation somewhere. One thing is certain, we don't stop loving someone close to us that is living a life that is out of control. We offer comfort and support in anyway we can. We talk with them with love and concern. We keep telling them that things can be better for them. We show them the path to take and hope they'll take it. Most of all, for our own sanity and our own happiness, we can't blame ourselves for the way someone we love and care about has chosen to live.

Discover more about Unshakeable Self Confidence Here. Get your free download.

Parents can nurture, teach and love their children. Show them the right path to take. But it will be up to that child, once grown, they become responsible for their character and the way they live. That doesn't mean we should just not care about what happens to those we care about that have problems in their lives. Of course we care, we love this person. When we care deeply about someone who is having problems in their lives, it gives us an opportunity to help that person rebuild how they see things in their lives. Even words of encouragement can shine a light at the end of the tunnel for this person. Letting them know that there is a better way to live. There is hope.

Which brings me to how I interpret the parable above. Its important to understand that sometimes in our lives we need to turn and walk away from the lives we may be living. That which is causing us to be miserable. Some of the people in our lives that are dragging us down, influencing negative outcomes or surpressing our healthy attitudes are what I call, toxic people. We may even like these people, but they are contributing to how our lives are panning out and why our lives seem like they are going no where. Our circumstance of how we are living is also a factor as to why our lives seem hopeless, like its going no where fast. Same s**t different day kind of attitude towards living. This will also make us feel like our lives are just useless. But it isn't. Sometimes we just can't see clear or beyond it. It can be like we're falling into a black hole and see no way out. But there is. How?

By change. Change from focusing on the bad things in our lives and focus on the "what if" scenario. The possibilities instead of the obstacles. By that I mean, start thinking about 'what if' I try to feel better about myself, 'what if' I change my job for something more appealing to me, 'what if' I stop drugging or drinking, 'what if' I begin to want to be alive, 'what if' I leave this lifestyle that I've grown accustom to and change it, obviously its not making me happy. 'What if' I start trying to improve myself. As you begin to focus on the "what if" scenario you'll come to a point where you'll ask yourself, "well do I really want to change?" This is where you will face your demons. Now you have to choose, you are at a crossroads. If I were you, I would start to focus on the things you want out of life not the things you don't want. You are responsible for your life. Make it count. Getting involved with people that help to build you up not tear you down. People that are focused on building a better life can be a wonderful influence.  

 Most importantly, learn to forgive. Forgiveness will put out the flame of guilt, anger and animosity. You can start with forgiving yourself. Sometimes we carry within ourselves, things that we're not proud we did, or things that we've done that hurt others. This can weigh heavily on our hearts. You can make ammends with some but you have to let it go and forgive yourself. Then forgive those who have done you wrong. This can be most uplifting for us. Emotionally and spiritually. Its like purging your system of something that was making you ill. This can be, in no doubt the point of never returning to your old ways of thinking and living. Because once you've forgiven these things, you have opened the door to caring for and loving yourself. It's alright..you can love yourself now.  

Everyone eventually learns that life is way too short. I'm still trying to get my brain around how fast it continues to be. And the older we get, the faster it goes. So what do we do when we know we only get so much time to do things? We do as much as we can that will be of benefit for our lives, right? So doesn't it make sense to use what time we have to be as happy and productive as each of us can be? Of course. So we must strive to be happy inspite of all the bs in the world and in our lives. We'll be a better person for it too. But mostly we'll be a happy person and we'll be able to share that happiness with others. I don't know about you all, but I love making others happy because it does make me happy. So sharing the wisdom from life experience, positive advice or words of encouragement, for me, makes me happy to know it just may help someone out there.

And lastly, do you remember when you were younger, and you played games? You would get all excited inside about that one move you were going to make that you knew would allow you to win the game? That was a great feeling. But then sometimes you couldn't win or you moved to the wrong spot and lost. Then you felt kind of bad. But you didn't give up. Because you knew you would have another turn to try again or you knew you would play that game again. And you'd say .."awww, I lost, but I'll win next time!" Well the same principle still applies when we've grown up. We try things out in our lives and some times we don't make it. We may grieve some when we've failed. But remember success is not final and failure is not fatal, its having the courage to carry on that matters. So you try again, something else, it just might be the right thing for you. Think of all you can learn by looking at life this way. Think of all the things you can teach others. Learn to get excited about your life. Life is full of twists and turns. Living it in the haze of an addiction or just giving up on life is cheating yourself out of truly being happy. You deserve to be happy. Enjoy the day.

The person you are is the very Essence of your Being. This Being might be called your soul, your higher self, or your authentic self. The label isn't important, just the acknowledgement that you are more than the physical person reading these words right now. Unshakeable Self Confidence
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Written by Sherrie Vitello

Copyright(c)2011.Living An Unhappy Life - The Causes and Effects.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.

      
       

The Birth Of Violence - A Theory on How and Why It Exist

What is it about human beings that makes us resort to violence? Sometimes I ponder this question and wonder why humans are so easily angered into violent acts. If we think about it, violence has been in human behavior since the dawn of time. Cane and Able for example; Cane being the first murderer and Able being the first murdered victim. All over Cane being jealous of Able. Did this set the path for human behavior? Or were we created this way? If this set the path or we were created this way, either way, I believe our creators were NOT perfect. (Note: I refer to God as "our creator's" due to whats written in the bible, Genesis 1-26.) For those who believe God is the only one, the only creator, or that God stems from several creators, no matter which one we believe, he's not perfect. Frankly I believe God is an extraterrestrial and that there are many others like him, but thats my belief.

Anyway, back to the point. How could an entity(God or Creator)be so perfect and create us and allow us to have violent tendencies? In Genesis 1-26, And God said: 'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.'  Now I'm no english major, but the last time I checked, the word "OUR" meant; Used to denote oneself and another or others. In other words: US. My point here is since he created us in his image, does this mean that they also had violent tendencies? God obviously got pissed off at Adam and Eve and then kicked them out of Eden for gaining knowledge after Eve was persuaded to eat that dam apple...right?  Even though stated as punishment, could this be a form of violence?

Why do we human beings loose our tempers, say nasty things to each other, strike each other, kill each other, if we're not wired for that reaction? Sure anger is an emotion, but why do we have that emotion? We must have been created that way. I know God gave us "Free will" so we could choose our behavior, make our own choices. But...if violent tendencies weren't apart of our makeup, we wouldn't have them. So we must have been created with them. That makes me believe that our creators had violent tendencies too. If our dna strand makes up what we are, then perhaps those humans that are more violent than others might have a corrupted peice in that dna strand that causes them to be able to hurt others without remorse. Of course most humans may get angry sometimes, which is an emotional response. But some humans can't seem to control that anger and it explodes into violent acts and even murder. Whoa...thats getting too heavy.

One thing is, I know alot of people "go wrong" in their lives due to their childhood being messed up. But alot of people had bad experiences in their childhood and they don't go around being violent to others. They live a normal peaceful life. Then you have the flip side to that and have people that were raised in well-to-do households and they went totally off the path of living a peaceful, happy life and decided to go out and kill some innocent person. It just doesn't add up. Anyway, there you have some theories on violent behavior and why it exists. All I know is the history of human beings has always had violence in it. I'm not sure if psychiatrists or medical science will ever find a way to resolve this problem. I guess we should try to live by The Serenity Prayer, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Have a peaceful day.

Written By Sherrie Vitello


Copyright(c) 2011. The Birth Of Violence-A Theory on How and Why It Exists by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Achieve A State Of Happiness.

This is one subject that we all think about once in awhile, and I have found that altho' difficult, we can achieve a state of happiness so long as we direct our thinking to that state of mind.  Sometimes I'll watch these talk shows that are targeted towards helping people with concerns of being overweight, being self critical, not knowing how to solve their problems, feelings of depression etc. and the one thing I find about these people with these problems is that they don't seem to know that it's their own thoughts, their own ways of seeing themselves, their own ways of focusing on more negative thoughts than positive thoughts that make them feel so helpless or inadequate. 

Let's face it....when you wake up in the morning and the first thought on your mind is, "Oh no...another day..." that's a hum-drum negative response to greeting the new day. Whereas if you were to greet the new day with a positive note, like, "It's going to be a good day..." you would probably feel alot better about starting the day. It's all a matter of what you tell yourself...how you're going to feel everyday. 

You can wake up every morning and say to yourself..."I'm going to have a good day today" or you can say to yourself, "I'm going to feel bad today". It's really up to what we say to ourselves.

I call that "Self Talk".  Some people ask "What can I do to achieve a state of happiness?"  For one, they can start writing a daily journal, take the time to write how you feel about the people in your life, your family, your job, your hobby, what made you happy today, what made you mad. Do this for about 2 to 3 months, faithfully, then read over what you've written, and take note of the things that made you feel negative, sad or angry and you'd like to change. There's your list to start making positive changes to.  Start with one thing at a time, take small steps and remember you have to walk before you can run.

So don't be too hard on yourself, you're not going to fix everything in one day, one week or even one month, it's going to take time to change the pattern of your thinking, but it can be done. Start trying to radiate an outward feeling of happiness. Feelings that are positive and happy will show outwardly and can create happiness around you and others. Divert negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Develop a positive outlook towards yourself. If you're unhappy because you're overweight, or your life isn't unfolding the way you'd like it to, start to make positive changes to those undesirable feelings and make it a goal to change to positive results. 

Remember, it's how you "Self Talk" to yourself that will set the course of your thoughts which will make the pattern of the way you think, change for the better. Which will help you achieve a state of happiness. It will take some effort on your part, but don't give up, don't fall into the pattern of being emotionally lazy, keep working toward a better outlook. See yourself as a positive effect on your surroundings and you will acheive your desired state of mind.
"As a man thinketh...so is he". Enjoy the day!

Wriiten by Sherrie Vitello

Angel or Devil on my Shoulder...?

Sometimes I really wonder if I had an Angel or a Devil on my shoulders'.  How many of you have felt that way or asked yourselves the same question?  When a person is addicted to drugs or alcohol (or both), it seems like there IS an Angel and  a Devil on there shoulders'.  I think back to my own experiences I went through when I was addicted to drugs and alcohol and the struggle I went through knowing what I was doing to myself, and my loved ones.

Although it's been over 5 years that I've lived a clean and sober life, I sure am glad I had that Angel. At those times of my "downside of life" I can remember doing things that I would have never done on a clean/sober mind.

I cringe when I think of the stupid, senseless, things I did that could have got me in alot of trouble, and I cry when I think of the times I stole money from my loved ones. I can't believe I gave into temptation so easily, I can't believe I did those things.

I know in recovery we're not suppose to think we'll never be that way again......but I have to tell you, it'll be a cold day in hell before I go back to being an addict.  I mean that with all of my heart and strength.  I'm sure some of you out there feel the same way and have had the same type of experiences. Or maybe you're still going through those experiences because you're just not ready to stop the craziness of being an addict.

You might even think you can't exist without your drug of choice or drink of choice.  Well, until you get sick of being sick and tired of your life just not working for you, you'll have that Devil on your shoulder until you change. There will always be a struggle between good and bad.  When you first start out to change your life to a clean/sober life, it's hard, I 'm not going to sugar-coat it, but with support, you can become stronger towards the cravings, you can learn to turn away from the triggers and that Angel...just gets stronger and stronger.

Some folks out there can never turn away from there addictions because they have led that way of life for so long....without professional and medical help, they probably wouldn't last too long on the clean/sober side of life. But even they can change their lives. The power of the mind can be a very formidable component to changing ones life. 

We all know that somethings in life are just too much to bare sometimes and we actually convince ourselves that there is no way out. But to all of you just starting to get clean, remember, you've already taken the first big step in improving your way of life. Just put one foot in front of the other and keep heading in 'THAT' same direction.

You'll see, you'll get to the point where you'll look back on your life and you'll wonder...."wow, was I really like that..?"  Let that be the motivation you need to stay clean and sober.  It does get better. Time does heal. We can become stronger in our convictions to live a clean and sober life, we can be happy.

Enjoy the Day.

To all my visitor's please take into consideration that the Angel and Devil description used in this post is used as a metaphor to describe the struggle of becoming clean and sober.

 

High Expectations.

For those of us who have had to deal with being let-down by our expectations, this article is for you. I'm positive that we have all been let-down at onetime or another because we didn't get what we expected.  As we have come to stop abusing ourselves with drugs and alcohol, we sometimes expect our lives to become this magical, wonderful place to be, right away. It's like trying to win the Indy500 with a racecar that has fouled sparkplugs. We have to remember, for all the time we spent using, we also closed off alot of the things that could have made our lives better.  Sometimes we probably didn't even realize just how messed up our lives became while abusing ourselves. 

Although some of us were functioning addicts...we believed we were doing just fine when we had our drugs or had our drinks.  Until the next time we ran out of our drugs, or didn't have our drinks.  We had gotten so clouded by our addiction that we lost the true perception of the world around us.  We don't really realize that until we're clean and sober just how clouded we truly were.  We have to remember that it took us time to get that way and it's going to take some time to get back on the right path and begin to see our lives in a more positive light.  But it does happen. 

The best way to get through this, without relapsing, is talking about it to others and learning that it's not just you that has had this problem.  You can also read up on how to motivate yourself.  I believe that if we surround ourselves with positive outllooks and attitudes that we will attract the positive things in the universe. Plus we must also learn that negative things do happen at times, and we must learn to cope and deal with the negative things using a positive resolve.  It's like having the attitude that we are not going to let any negative things turn us back into those addicts we once were. 

So don't be affraid to make goals and stick to them in order to improve your life.  Sure you may have some set-backs, but that doesn't mean you have to regress back to your addictive ways.  Realize it's going to take some time for you to re-establish relationships, of any kind, that you may have damaged during your addictive times.  Know that this can be accomplished by the actions we take now once you've made the decision to break away from your addictions.  Like I tell my daughters even to this day, "Believe in yourself, do your best, and you'll be alright."  I find that to be so very true.  Until next time, enjoy the day. 

  

Being Grateful.....

Another wonderful day everyone...I hope you all are feeling well. Remember...If you hate your job, imagine yourself without it, if you hate your life, imagine the sadness of never seeing the abundance of beauty there is in the world, if you hate yourself, imagine what you're missing by not allowing yourself to truly laugh or seeing the love in someone's eyes or the smile of a child or the softness of a puppy.

                                                      
You get the picture....so be happy, Dammit!!! LOL! 
Enjoy the weekend everyone...and remember a good time doesn't have to be in a bottle.

The One Thing.....

Something that I learned about making changes for the better was, I had to gain a positive attitude about my life and about myself. Believe me it wasn't as easy as it sounds. I felt as though I had the weight of the world on my shoulders...and in a way I did.  I was a single parent for a long time and I had to be the one that paid the bills and brought home the food.  I know that was the reason I never actually went off the deep end.
You'd think that would have been enough to stop myself, but it wasn't.
Even though I still had an addiction, of one kind or another,  I was able to function and keep up on the bills.

Of course I can't take all the credit here...with the help I received from human resources a couple of times and my family off and on, although it was still a struggle, I was able to get over some of those huge humps, and for that I was grateful.                     

But that didn't stop me from abusing myself every now and then. Back then I could handle it, so I thought. I was blinded by my indulgences that I didn't realize that the road I was headed down would only end in disaster if I didn't stop. So what could I do to change the way I saw myself into someone who loved oneself enough so that I could live a clean life?  As I've gotten wiser, I've realized that a person has to have something in their lives that matters.  Now don't get me wrong here...my daughters' mean the world to me and I believe they were my strength. But what I'm talking about by having something that matters is having something that appeals to my inner source or attitude.

For some folks it's religion, or a spiritual event, a love for something outside of your normal life.  All the good things that we have are great!...but we all need something that makes each one of us feel content, competent, whole and grateful. I believe that that can be as different to each of us as we are individual. So the 'one thing' then is for all of us who turn towards artificial stimuli, and over do it, and become addicted to it, need to seek out what it is in ourselves that makes us feel whole. Stop the insanity!!(thank you Susan Powder) Drop the baggage that weigh's us all down and weakens our spirit. We've all had some bad things happen to us along the way. Sadly some never come out of it, but when you have the right information and we learn to let go of the things that weigh us down, we can emerge into a better life, be clean and be happy.  Although we some

times feels as though we have no control....the 'one thing' is....up to you.
[Written by Sherrie Vitello]