Our Brains - Friend, Foe or Both?

Let me ask you a question. How often do we tell ourselves things aren't always what we think they are? In other words, there are times when our own brains just think about things so out of context that we have to tell it to be quiet. Although our brains are great at analytical things and things that require deduction or finding answers, where do we draw the line between when we should listen to our brains and when we should tell it to shut up? Here's what I mean by that. Have you ever thought about something that you may not feel too sure about and your brain starts running through a scenario of outcomes? Sometimes these outcomes are so ridiculous, maybe even frightening, that you close your eyes for a few seconds in an effort to stop thinking about it? Or the brain could be thinking of positive outcomes but you don't buy into them completely because things could turn out completely opposite of what you thought? This is what I've come to know as thought pattern displacement. I was told by someone a long time ago NOT to listen to my brain. At that time, I didn't understand, or maybe didn't want to understand what that meant. But as time has gone on and I've gained wisdom, patience and my thinking has grown wiser, I do understand that very well. And its very true too. 

Think of it this way. Within each of us we have 4 raw forms of how we think, come to decisions, decipher and choose our outcomes for our lives. They are our brains, our hearts, our gut feelings and our spiritual beliefs be them through religion or spirituality. These 4 forms make up who we are, how we make decisions and how we live our lives. What I've come to find is our brains are not always our friend. Our brains, besides being a brilliant thinking mass, has the capacity to destroy our self confidence or build our self image with just thoughts. It can even create the outcome of our lives. How we think and what we think are the components of what we make happen in our daily lives. That saying "..our thoughts create our lives.." is more true than we know. When someone says something negative about you. You are the key factor as to how you will allow this negative comment to effect your entire day, effect how you feel and even the outcome of how you see yourself. Unless you are an unfeeling narcissist, you most likely will feel some kind of feelings about what has been said. We could just let go of it, which is probably the best way to handle it. But for some thats not so easy to do. We certainly can't allow others to direct how we should feel. But most importantly we can't allow our brains to fall into the depths of imagination of self doubt, uncertainty or feelings of inadequacy because of it.

Some of the best ways we can help ourselves is by reminding ourselves of all of our inner strengths. The experiences we've gotten through in our lives, our achievements-no matter how small they all count. When the brain starts to think in negative ways, for every negative thought about yourself think of an opposite positive one. It may help you to write it down. Even though this may be difficult to accomplish at times, the more you do that the better you get at it. When things aren't going right for you, take a moment to ask yourself; "what is the lesson I should be learning here?" This is a way we can self examine ourselves and even gain strength within and change the way our brains can think. Now grant it, there will be times when you can't help how you feel. Unkind and hard times can stir up negative patterns, its just the way life is. But its how we handle those moments and how we think about them that makes all the difference in how it affects us and how we will feel. Our thoughts create our lives. We are affected by others only when we allow negative people and unhappy circumstances to affect our thoughts about ourselves. If you're a person that feels like the thoughts your brain creates are making you feel unhappy, its time to re-evaluate your thinking and begin to think differently. Don't become hostage of self sabotaging thoughts that hold you back from discovering what you are capable of achieving and who you truly are. Believe in yourself.


            Copyright(c)2015-2019. Our Brains - Friend, Foe or Both? Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Thoughts For Living

Staying in an angry state of mind serves us no purpose and clouds our potential.  However anger can help us to become motivated.  It can help us make a move to resolve something that needs to be fixed now.  Its more beneficial for our mind, body and spirit to rid ourselves of anger and not dwell in that emotion.  Because even tho' it can be a motivator for us to make a move, it can also cause harm and destructive outcomes IF we don't check it at that door.  

The next time you're angry about something, be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you have brought the cause of the emotion on yourself.  By not doing what you should have done from the start.  You may also ask yourself what is it that I should be learning as to why I'm feeling this way?  After all life is a journey of learning for everyone.  Contrary to belief we should never permit ourselves to retreat from the lessons of life, no matter how insignificant or huge things may seem.  

No one ever learns to know everything.  Get passed the desensitizing of social indifference and the overkill drama the media is feeding you.  Get past the lies of what you're being told is really important but isn't.  Most importantly get over yourself.  We are designed from one base root system that allows for many characteristics, colors, shapes and sizes.  But we are of one divine consciousness.  Our purpose in life is not just to leave a path of good for others to follow, but to learn to think with a higher level of purpose.  To learn to live in peace, with love and harmony.  Even if you only find this within yourself.  Enjoy the day.

Copyright(c)2015.ThoughtsForLiving.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Anger - Dealing with the destructiveness of anger is key

I believe we all know what it's like to get mad or angry! Whether you are in recovery or not. Sometimes anger can be the cause for us to relapse. Sometimes anger can be the cause for people to create an addiction. Which ever place in life you are at learning to deal with the destructiveness of anger is key to feeling better. 

You know that saying "count to 10" or "take a walk" as ridiculous as that sounds, it can actually help us to stop and think before we say something we might regret. Plus don't forget the effects anger has on our blood pressure. Take a moment to calm yourself before you communicate what you need/want to say. It can be difficult to make good decisions when we're angry, so be sure 'not' to make life altering decisions when you're angry. Give yourself time to sort through the anger and try to empathize. It would also be a good idea to find out the root of the anger whether you're dishing it out or receiving it from someone.

Changing how we think is key to helping us as we learn to become unaddicted. Although anger is a normal emotion and feeling it makes us know we still have feelings, it can still lead to negative outcomes if we don't learn to channel it. I have learned that anger can be a good motivator. It can assist us to get into action. Have you ever gotten angry at someone or something? Think about all that energy you're using to feel that angry emotion. Now, what if you learned to channel that energy of anger-emotion towards something you need to accomplish?

That is a great way to dissolve the negative feelings and channel them or turn them into something positive. If you have too much trouble doing that on your own, you may need some counseling to help you regulate and to help you learn to control that anger. Counseling can be going to a meeting and sharing your problem, or going to a counselor and speaking to them one on one. Either way, it's a good idea for people with anger issues to find way to curb that anger.

Remember when you're beginning to change your old ways of addictive thinking to a clean way of living, for most of us, it's going to be an emotional roller-coaster for awhile. But it's not permanent. You will begin to feel better emotionally and physically. Especially if you begin focusing on your health, diet and physical fitness. You can live a clean life, you can learn how to control your anger and turn it so it works for you and not against you. You can feel good about who you are and you can be happy.


For more articles by this author visit: EzineArticles - Author Sherrie Vitello


Copyright(c)2014.Anger - Dealing with the destructiveness of anger is key.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.

A Hassle Free Life? Dealing With Life's Terms.



Look around you. You may see alot of people whose lives you think are perfect, but the fact is that nobody's life is perfect. Not even the "wonderful-life family" down the block, the ones with the 2 wonderful children, wonderful house, cute little doggie, 2 new cars, 3 huge flatscreen tv's, a John Deer Riding lawnmower and a wonderful weed and crab-grass-free lawn. Although it may not look like it from the outside, everyone has daily stress, absurd situations and problems. There is no one on the planet that has a hassle free life. No matter how good things look. The universe just doesn't work that way. There may be days when life seems idyllic, so enjoy them while they last because the universe is just getting wound up to throw you a curve ball. Its not a matter of IF it will happen, its WHEN. There comes a day when the car breaks down, the cable goes haywire, the dog runs away, you couldn't pay a bill, your nice new truck got broke into overnight, the lawn is sprouting weeds and the mower needs repair and you've just found out that your place of employment is downsizing.

Its no wonder that sometimes daily lives can become overwhelming. Its enough to drive a person crazy. Sometimes it does, sometimes we just break down. Yet basically people find ways to work through the absurdities and pressures and we strive to be happy. For some, they aren't taught about the tools or coping skills necessary to help work through life's daily pressures and stress. Perhaps their parents weren't taught to have solid coping skills either. We can begin to turn to outside influences. Befriending a person who is of good character and influence makes for a good example. Usually a positive influence talks the talk and walks the walk. Just as negative influences will have negative effects. Other influences can be forms of overdone stimulation, like drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, overeating etc. People do these things in order to feel better and to help forget the negatives in their lives. Its an easy way out of dealing with the pressures and not living life on life's terms.

We convince ourselves that we need this outside stimuli in order to feel good about ourselves. But we don't and its only temporary. We usually regret this later on after a bad habit has become an addiction. Maybe, at this point of your life, yours isn't exactly what you had hoped it would be. You may even think of your life as a mess. That's not okay. Unless you've given up on yourself and your life, we all have a responsibility to ourselves and our loved ones. People who have set goals, achieved things, created a life with structure and purpose always feel more complete and happy. If all you do is wake up everyday, do drugs or drink alcohol, you don't do anything constructive, your life will become one stagnant, sad existence. Even in the face of loss, due to a tragic storm, foreclosure on your home, loss of your job, loss of a loved one, whatever the case.

People can and will always rebuild themselves and their lives. Its in our innate nature to survive. To come full circle and back to a plateau of stability. You may not get back everything material you've lost and may not achieve every goal you've had on your bucket list. But by aiming high to reach your goals, you will certainly land above where you are now. Fighting the "good fight" to survive and exist in a state of gratitude or completeness is not an unrealistic aspiration. All things are possible when we believe in it enough to try. Your goal isn't perfection, but progress, day to day, month to month, year to year.  If you can look back and see that progress, know you're moving on, you gain fortitude and motivation which gives you wings. You're doing fine. As you progress, you compare life now with life 6 months ago or even a year ago. You see the progress you've made. It feels good and gives you direction and structure. Which are vital keys to feeling productive, content and living more happily.

*If you're in recovery, and this is your beginning, first off, you are not alone. For some people, the first year of getting back on solid ground, is a case of one step forward two steps back. You may finish the first few weeks not noticeably advanced from the day you started your journey. Perhaps you were in such a dense fog of addiction, for so long, that now you feel you are incapable of dealing with everyday life situations. If this is your case, you should embrace that fact and get the help you need. It may take a little longer for someone with that scenario to see improvements, but they will. Inevitably, in such a case, the time it takes to build a solid foundation for recovery is prolonged but still possible. Many of these people aren't ready to move on after a year or even 2 years. That could be your situation. If it is, don't despair. You have already started improving your life by acknowledging that you need to be in recovery. That's awesome! You're building a foundation for that new positive, productive person you will become. If you rush through that foundation then you're sure to regret it when the walls cave in on you. Take the time you need or you may find yourself relapsing and having to begin over again on a new road to recovery.  All life is precious, share your knowledge and help those who need help. You'll be a better person in doing so. Enjoy the day.


Copyright(c)2013.A Hassle Free Life? Dealing With Life's Terms.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.
 

Self Acceptance - Builds Inner Strength

I love the writings of Karen Casey in her book: Each Day A New Beginning. Here she writes about Acceptance. God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. Many times, yesterday, last week, today and even tomorrow, we'll come..face to face with a seemingly intolerable situation. The compulsion to change the situation, to demand that another person change the situation is great. What a hard lesson it is to learn we can change only ourselves. The hidden gift in this lesson is that as our activities change, often the intolerable situations do too. Acceptance, after a time, smooth all the ripples that discourage us. And it softens us. It nurtures wisdom. It attracts joy and love from others. Ironically, we often try to force changes that we think will loosen love and lessen struggle. Acceptance can do what our willpower could never accomplish. As we grow in wisdom, as we grow in understanding, as we realize the promises of this, we'll stand ready, as an individual, to weather all our personal storms. Like the willow in the wind, we'll bend rather than break. And we'll be able to help others become wise through our example.

So many people, at one time or another, try to find ways to feel complete. To be accepting of things can help our journeys be more enjoyable. It all starts within ourselves. It doesn't hinder our abilities when we learn to accept. In essence acceptance relieves us of the pressures of trying to cope or deal with situations in which we would like to change but cannot. That doesn't mean we should accept all things. In no way is that meant. You can change yourself, your situation, increase your chances of being more accepting of yourself. There are things within our lives, in ourselves that we can change and knowing that we can change them is in essence acceptance. We accept the idea of changing for the better. We do the best we can to do so and we self-accept ourselves. When we make positive strides in our lives, be proud of yourself, be happy that you were able to make a change. Acknowledging that to yourself is key to self acceptance. Strive to be happy.


Copyright(c)2013.Written by Sherrie Vitello, excerpts from the book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey. All Rights Reserved.   

Beating Your Addiction - How Do You Make Changes for the Better?

These steps really work. If you've been to NA or AA meetings then you know the do's & don'ts that are meant to help you stay clean & sober. Sure it takes commitment & hard work BUT you can be successful at depleting your addiction & staying clean. Plus the benefits of participating in these activities goes above & beyond just staying clean & sober. The health benefits both mentally & physically are phenomenal. Putting this into your daily lifestyle will make it become habit. A good habit too. As you progress with your routines if you start to feel like you're getting bored with the samething day after day...well, change it up alittle. But don't give up on it. Never give up on yourself. You are totally worth the effort. You deserve to live a happy life. You only get one, so make it count. Let go of the past mess ups, absurdities, addictions & guilt. Start a new life for yourself & loved ones Now! You'll find that as you go along with your changes, it does get easier to overcome the triggers & cravings. At times you may feel as though you're getting no where, but know this, with every effort you put into changing your lifestyle the stronger you get & more results you'll see as you go.  Learning to love yourself can seem difficult but given a chance you will learn to live & let go. And you'll be so much happier, you'll be able to deal with situations as they come along. Whether good or bad. You will have faith in yourself even more so. Its a matter of YOU taking the steps to MAKE the changes. It's your choice, you can't place blame on anyone or anything else. If you truly want to live a addiction free life...then make the choice to do so.

Keep Your Eye on Your Goals No Matter What Comes Your Way!

                       (Video-Source by kannanssss)
Without failure we would never learn to do better next time. All of the negatives that seem to try to divert us from reaching our goals are there to make us better at what we do. Persistence is a unique mental strength, a strength that is essential to comb at the fierce power of the repeated rejections and numerous other obstacles that sit in waiting and all apart of winning in a fast moving, ever changing world. Highly successful men and women who have cut a path for others to follow, while leaving their mark on history all shared one common thing, everyone of these people were persistent.

So the next time you feel like you're getting no where, we all do sometimes, that's the time we truly need to put our best foot forward and keep working at our goals. It's when times seem there hardest that must not quit. Try applying affirmations to your daily routine. Here are 2 of my favorites.....

..."Success is NOT final, Failure is NOT fatal, it's having the courage to continue that matters." by Winston Churchill.

..."Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit." by Napoleon Hill. 

When we apply to our climb towards our success the thought process of succeeding instead of the fear factors of failing, we already have made progress towards our goals. Now, we keep going, steady, patiently, with persistence, never allowing anything to remove from our minds eye, our plateau of  our goals. When we believe in what we are trying to accomplish, we make way for that accomplishment to become reality.


  Enjoy the day.

For more inspiration follow us at: http://myselfselfhelp.blogspot.com

Copyright(c)2011.Keep Your Eye on Your Goals No Matter What Comes Your Way! By Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Greeting Pain with Mindfulness

Buddist teachings tell us to greet pain with mindfulness, to notice how the pain moves through many phases and to pay attention to the nuances of constrictions, pulsation, intensity and the diminishing of intensity. In mindfulness, we keep our attention focused on these changes even as we experience them.  We observe the flow of our thoughts, feelings and sensations. We become explorers of our inner world, and we learn a great deal about ourselves.

As we do so, we gain insight into the cause and core of our karmic condition, our spiritual initiations and the lessons we are meant to learn. We grow in humility, endurance and appreciation for little respites and moments of joy. We expand in courage and acceptance of life's ups and downs. When we open our hearts to living peacefully with ourselves and fellow encounters, we develop a calming effect on ourselves and others around us. And above all, we become acutely aware that our consciousness transcends the human condition.  

Whether we are dealing with physical pain, distressing feelings or both, we can train ourselves to repond with peaceful contemplation. We are told to embrace pain with courage. Yet that is a somewhat dismaying thought to many of us. It is a bit like wanting to embrace a porcupine. Who needs it? But it is very true, psychologically and spiritually, that pain opens our heart. Pain melts our hardness of heart, humbles us and quickens our awareness of our higher power(God). Actually, it is because of pain that many are on a spiritual path today. True happiness is when everything we think, say and do is in harmony. Enjoy the day.

Written by: Sherrie Vitello

Excerpts taken from the book: Emotions, Transforming Anger, Fear and Pain. Written by: Marilyn C Barrick, Ph.D.

What can be done about those "low-times."

We all have those days when we feel a "low time", things aren't flowing as well as we'd like them to. Not so much depression, just a "not so up feeling." Our positive thoughts and ideas have taken a back seat to feeling low and unmotivated. Don't despair...this does happen to all of us at some point or another. It could be due to things happening in the world around us or a sad time in our lives, due to the loss of someone we love or something that meant alot to us. Or just the daily grind of trying to make a living. Usually this "low time" is short lived. But if you're having trouble getting over something like this, no doubt, reach out to someone for help or get professional counseling. Don't be apprehensive about applying what is available to us in our time of need. We are not robots, we are feeling, emotional, caring human beings, at least most of us are, so reaching out for some support is not a bad thing. It could help you save your sobriety and get you back on track.

You can also give it a few days and see how you're feeling. For women, I would suggest this especially because we have hormone swings every month and they can play a serious role in messing with our emotions. You may even need the assistance of a medical professional to help with those hormone swings.

I have found that a healthy diet, exercise, and a positive outlook no matter what, can do just as well, if not better than medications. But check with your doctor, if you can afford to, just to be sure. If you can't afford a doctor, and with the cost of living today it's hard to keep regular check ups with a doctor, unless you can afford it. It won't hurt you to change your diet for a healthy one, exercising everyday for at least 20-40 minutes, allowing yourself to break a good sweat, and practicing some form of meditation a couple times a week, like, yoga or tai-chi. Dedicate yourself to this faithfully and I assure you, you will feel better and see a positive difference in how you look at things. Written by Sherrie Vitello 

But remember this: It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity and faith and security.  By Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"I may run into some rocks or even a boulder today. I have stepped around them in the past. I will do so again."   Excerpt taken from the wonderful book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey.

Enjoy the day!

The Battle From Within

When I was a younger person, wild and full of life, I never thought of being older. I figured "then" it was to far away from me. For now at this point of my younger life I was not only young, bolder, vibrant and strong, I could not see the side of myself that would be my downfall.  What force could there be but my own. Nothing could harness the strong, able frame I've become. I could run, run far and strong, like a prancing horse on an open plain, then only to be settle and wait for another day. 

I could not be held, forced or driven to anything but by my own will. As I grew older I thought, how could I get ahead with my life, how can I make the grade. I thought nothing could harness my ambition. Nothing could...but something did. I grew emotionally crippled and fearful. I hadn't realized that I created my own monster. In many shades this monster came. In many forms it feasted on my spirit.

I could not lock it away or hide it from view. My shame although hidden, weighed me down like a ball and chain. I had to face my monster and deplete it of it's strength, so I could slay it, stop it, stamp it out of my mind, body and soul. I fought with all my inner strength and I reached down inside for more. More strength!  I allowed hate to take over.

I hated what this monster was doing to me, how it changed me. It's a trickster and gave me a false sense of self and security. My hatred for this monster became my motivation, so strong until I could wrench this monster off my back. I was sickened by the thoughts that filled my mind of how I once clinged to the effects this monster gave me. For a moment...I thought I can't live without it. I was wrong.

Once I had knocked the monster off, pushed it away, it took everything I had to grab hold, shake it loose, strangle it from my life and kill it's desire to destroy me from the inside out. Get rid of it's desire, once and for all. I've made it through the struggle, I've climbed out of the valley of self annhilation. The road I once trudged is no longer. I can stand up straight and carry myself with dignity. I can wake up free! No more monster on my back. I've beaten it

I now realized the power of my will. I now have a shield around me. The desire to destroy a monster before it destroys me. As hard as this was to accomplish I only had to reach down within myself and make the effort count. Stay true to my self discipline. Take heed to the words of others wisdom. Take pride in the strides of accomplishments. No matter how small, they all count.  So in other words, for those of you out there trying to stay clean, going to meetings, going to detox, don't quit...ever! Sometimes it may take 2 or 3 tries before getting it right...maybe even more, but you will get it right so long as you keep trying to change for the better. 
Enjoy the day!
Written by Sherrie Vitello