Milestones In Our Lives.



Milestones In Our Lives

As we collect the milestones in our lives, look to them as markers of experience and wisdom. However confusing, naive, or purposeful they have been, there will be more to come. Everyones journey is a stepping stone to learn from and utilize to your advantage. Our milestones in our lives mark points that can be special occasions, events or experiences that mean something to us. It can be wisdom gained that we can use to help others. Perhaps when we listen to those whom seem lost or confused, what we have learned along the way could be a light for them at the end of a dark tunnel they may be traveling. With an open heart of compassion we learn to walk amoung the hurdles of life with more detailed understanding. Without ego we are better able to make decisions that are more precise. Milestones help us grow emotionally as well.

When we are young we are so filled with the excitement of not knowing. We think we are the only one that circumstances fall upon. But we aren't. As much as everyone thinks they are so unique, altho' we maybe in some individual ways, we are also so much alike. Our emotions are constructed by the things we experience, especially when we are children. As we get older we learn to cope with or deal with the adversities that life throws into the mix for us, in our own ways. We realize that altho' things we were taught as children, whether positive or negative, are not necessarily the way we choose to see things as we get older. We grow, we change. With every experience we go through, we realize that we can take in the experience and commit it to a milestone.

As time goes on we've collected many milestones along the way. Some are huge and eventful mile stones while others are small but they still carry meaning. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to log our milestones into a computer file like a mini-movie? Then anytime we wanted to look back at them they would be right there for us to see again in full color. For now people use journals or diaries, take pictures or they record them into a computer notebook. Some people record them on video. Either way its human nature to record milestones in our lives because of the senitmental value, lessons learned or the memory it holds for us. I guess what some may classify as a milestone may be different than what others may classify it as. Its a personal thing. Something that means so much to each and everyone of us.

I believe milestones are a wonderful occasion because they are marked by certain circumstances or occurrences that take place in each of our lives. Milestones are constructed to provide reference points along the road in life as well. They are what gives each of us our individual lives. What makes our life experiences something to remember, look back on and cherish. Enjoy the day.

Copyright(c)2012.Milestones In Our Lives.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.     

Gratitude Is Key To Being Happy.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Practice gratitude everyday and even tho' its impossible to have 100% of joy and happiness all of the time, due to life's negative absurdities. It always comes down to choice in how we allow these things to effect us. I am not saying we should have the attitude of not giving a dam about things, because thats negative in itself. Its more than that. Everything is a lesson, meant to teach us more about ourselves and to help us develop our higher thinking and... spirituality. So if we choose to be emotionally burdened by the sadness and bs in the world, its not that it occurs that makes you feel bad, its how you allow it to effect you and for how long, that dictates your feelings and attitudes. Sure there are many sad and heartbreaking things that occur for which we can do nothing for to help it. We can feel true empathy for the unfortunate. Take from those things the lesson, embrace it and carry on with calm, confidence and better direction for yourself. As an old saying went: " I use to complain about my shoes until I saw a man who had no feet." Be grateful for all things in your life. Strive to be happy. Happy life day everyone!

 

 

Gratitude image offered by Bing.com

 

 

 

Copyright(c)2016.GratitudeIsKeyToBeingHappy.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Getting Over Disappointment - Practice the Art Of Non-attachment.

A very healing video. So many suffer from this for no good reason. Feeling this way most of my life. I know it stemmed from childhood. Over the last few years I've began my journey of changing this emotional state. I have found that "energy flows where attention goes." I've tried this visualization exercise & the results are amazing. If we can do this by focusing on something, then we can create our lives for the better by focusing on that. Altho' you may still struggle with feelings of disappointment learning that our thoughts create our lives is key to getting past disappointment. Don't allow your thoughts or fears of disappointment to direct how you should feel. Practice the art of non-attachment. While we still desire things, whilst not becoming attached to the outcome. Change your thoughts... change your life. While its always a work in progress, its all about how we perceive things & letting go of things that no longer serve us. Enjoy the day.

              

Joy In Living

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only within yourself. (by Chief Tecumseh)

Starting the day with a positive thought sets the tone for everything that follows. Instead of focusing on your troubles and worries, we can think about our blessings. How lucky we are to have a warm, dry place to sleep, good food to eat, nice clothes to wear, a job to go to, family and friends to support us, a new day to enjoy, fresh air to breath. And most of all how lucky we are just to be alive.

"I will take a few minutes when I first wake up to think about the many good things in my life" (by Linda Picone - The Daily Book of Positive Quotations) 

Sometimes we may feel as though we don't have anything to be happy about. Everything feels like a hassle or is not working out. Grant it, sometimes life can feel like a real pain for us. Now take a look at those couple of sentences. The operative word being used is the word: feel. When we feel a certain way its our thoughts or emotions that determine how we feel about things. Since we can learn to control our emotions or direct how we think, it gives us the option to layout our attitude towards the day in a positive light. Its actually up to each of us, how we see each day upon rising. If you are unhappy about your life, stop looking to find fault and make the changes necessary to make your life a better place for yourself. If you're in a situation that is negative get on a plan to get out of it! If you dislike your job, first off, think where you would be without it and if you must, start looking for another job. But don't dwell in the swirl of angry thinking or feelings of depression. In reality that form of negative thinking only surpresses your abilities to work things out for the positive. If its too overwhelming, you may need counseling to help give you a hand up and out of the rut you're in. Eitherway, its important to always see the light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how dark your life may feel for you. Remember how you think creates your life. If you continually think negative, you will feel negative, your life will be negative and negative things will be attracted to you like a magnet. Instead deal with what disrupts your happiness and turn it around so you can exist peacefully.. hence happier. Its up to each of us to plot the course of how our lives will be each day. So be the captain of your life, think positive about yourself and your life, steer away from negatives, be the captain of your spirit and enjoy the day. You only have one life to live, to the best of your ability, why not make it a positive and happy life for yourself and your family?

 

Copyright(c)2014.Joy In Living.Created by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Music and Song - Allow Yourself To Feel The Heal

Have you ever noticed how music or a song can lift you up? Even when you're at an uncertain time of your life music/song can reach down inside of you and help you feel better. Even if for a few moments. Its those few moments we need to hold on to that help us to come back from the emotional pain caused by something that may have gone wrong in our lives. Music/song is a healing thing, a tool. It won't solve your troubles but it can be used as a tool to help in feeling better and healing oneself. When we feel better, we are more positive and productive. We can see clearer to finding better solutions. If you're like most humans you really don't like feeling down and out. And so long as you keep your heart open to good things you can lift yourself out of a bad mood or the emotional pain by allowing yourself to feel the healing and uplifting emotion that music/song can bring us. Of course when times call for us to grieve we should always allow for that emotion to run its course. You can't change the fact that there is a lost loved one. Music/song when grieving for a loved one, can bring about happier times you shared because it allows us to remember how much our lost loved one enjoyed that certain song. Or music/song can bring about a happy memory of an experience we shared with a lost loved one. At those times, hold on to those memories and emotions. It can help us to heal.

Grieve when you must, but don't hold on to the grief. Allow it to leave you as well. This goes for anger also. Although at times, anger can be a good motivator we should never hold on to the emotion of anger either. It will harden your heart and burn a hole in your soul. However if you like music, which everyone seems to be touched by some kind or another kind of music, and you're inspired by it, you can also be healed by it. Point of interest: It has been proven that when people are allowed to listen to their favorite music while working, they are actually more productive. Even cows produce more milk when allowed to listen to music. Let yourself hear and feel that music/song. Let it help you to let go of things you may be feeling that may not be good for you to feel. These negative feelings could be what is holding you back from whatever you aspire to achieve. Just like that old saying: "..music soothes the savage beast.." it can also soothe the downsides of life. None of us are impervious to the downsides of life. No matter who you are or where you are in your life, downsides will always rear its awful head at some time or another. Life is full of tribulations. What matters is how do we deal with the throws of life. We should deal with them in a way that can be positive and add to our growing as a spiritual being?  Not religious but spiritual. There is a difference.

When things occur that are out of our control, at first, we may not want to feel or hear anything good because we are adjusting to the feelings of impact of the negative occurrance. Give yourself alittle time to get your head around what has happened to you. But don't dwell in sadness. Then once the sudden abrupt effect of whatever painful or negative experience has eased off alittle, let it go, give it to the universe, God, Buddha or whatever you conceive your higher power to be. Then open your heart and your mind and fill it with the good feelings of healing you recieve by whatever favorite music or song you enjoy. It may sound ridiculous to some people, but maybe thats because they've never tried to let the harmony one recieves from music/song to help in the healing process. Just sitting there comfortably, quiet for a few moments. Allowing the sound to flow through the air, through our minds and body.

 

Let your mind relax, let the hurt and anger float away from you. Ask the universe to help you recover from whatever it may be that is causing disruption in your life. It can be like that while listening to music. Or it can be a more physical experience where you dance around and sing along with your favorite song. Whichever way you choose to help yourself heal. Try it with music/song. You may be surprised to find just how healing this process can be. For those who understand and grasp what I'm trying to say here put on your favorite music/song right now and energize yourself. Allow yourself to feel the heal. It can be very helpful for us all in times of distress. Carry one of your favorite songs or music with you throughout your day. Even if you only hum it to yourself. And if you get the chance to hear it again, throughout your day, then get REenergized by listening to it. Embrace it and allow the good feelings you receive from it to uplift you. It can truly be an inspiration. Enjoy the day.



Copyright(c)2013.Music and Song - Allow Yourself To Feel The Heal.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.

Planet Earth - We are here to take care of her. But we forget.

If not us.... who will?

Its as though the eagle is saying: "Please help keep our planet beautiful!" Afterall thats why we're really here. I think people just get so wrapped up in surviving that they forget that. Sit back for a moment and get inspired. Feel the beauty we are responsible for. Our planet is our home. We as "the human race", no matter what color, creed, religion, or beliefs, WE are responsible for the place we live. Our beautiful planet. If you were to look into history and see all of the dwindling of wilderness, wildlife species, habitat and trees, you'd either be very angry, upset or heartbroken. Some would be all 3. Mankind can have ALL the money in the world, but what good is it if you can't exist in harmony with your planet?

Some would say that the people that are "in charge" or "in control" of what happens to our planet are the wrong people. I tend to agree. Remember all of us humble masses, we have more power together than any group of government. We have to stick together in the effort to keep our world a safe, secure and harmonious planet. Every little bit helps. Please do your part to help to preserve our planet for our children and their children for generations to come. I still get goosebumps when I watch this. Enjoy!

How Do I Reach Out For Help - What About Support Groups?

Someone has stated that they don't quite understand this sobriety thing, how to reach out or get connected. A lot of people feel that way when first changing their lives for the better. When you've realized that you need to change you've just done what you question. You have already begun reaching out. At this point, getting involved in a home group is very beneficial to you. You can find a variety of information online. GO! You'll see. Be sure to ask where you can get a schedule-book with all the locations and time-schedules in it. Don't feel bad about going to meetings, everyone there has the same goal, more than less. Even though at first we all may feel awkward at an unfamiliar place. Stick with a place for a few visits and get a feel for the group. If you're not comfortable with a place go to another place. Until you feel comfortable about going there all of the time. Its a process, so take your time. But GO! At first it may seem like its useless but it isn't. Then again you may find a place right off that you'll feel really good about. You may also want to check out the selected groups for men or women only. The first step is recognizing that you have to change, so you are already on your way to changing for the better. Now you need to learn the tools of how to deal with keeping to it. Remember how far you would go to get your DOC? (works for Drink or Drug of choice.) Use that same persistence and desire to get the support & learn the tools you need to stick to your sobriety.
Its ALL worth it.  

 

This is one journey that is more successful when you have support from others. Because addiction is very stubborn about staying in your life. It will cause you to have cravings and triggers influenced by the social structure you are subjected to everyday. Its a monkey on your back and its holding on to you very strongly. You'll need to learn how not to give in to it. Because of all the influence there is in society for most of us it can be difficult to overcome, at first. But by having support and direction from your group, you will become strong enough to overcome those influences that would otherwise get the better of you. If you are fortunate enough to connect  with  a "good" sponsor, its a very good idea to do so. You may have to go through a couple of sponsor's though before you find one that really is active in helping you stay clean and sober. But don't despair, you will find one. Although some people may not be as genuine as others, you can connect with the right person. Don't give up trying. A sponser can become an important associate in your journey to staying clean and sober. Look for someone who has been clean and sober for more than 2 years. In doing so, this person has honed the tools for staying away from the addiction. You want someone who has a positive outlook and solid emotional stability. So look for these qualities before you ask someone to be your sponsor.

 

 

What about relationships? One rule of thumb you should always stick to during recovery and that is, NEVER get romantically involved with your sponsor, people in your group, or even people outside of your group. Especially within your first year of going to meetings. Why is this important? Because when you're in the first stages of recovery you are not emotionally ready or prepared to take on any issues that come with a relationship. Just the common events of it can be stressing. A lot of times when things get stressed or go wrong in a relationship, it can cause you to relapse. Sometimes it can cause worse things to happen as well. Its safer for your sobriety and for you to keep any outside emotional demands from occurring. If you're already in a relationship, hopefully your partner is attending meetings as well. Either for themselves or to learn how to support the partner in recovery. Both people in a relationship will need to learn how to deal with sobriety whether both are addicts or not. Also remember just because you are going to a meeting place where most people are working at the same thing, sobriety, don't think that everyone there is a wonderful, trust worthy, supportive person. Even though we'd like to think that about everyone, there will be some people there with their own agenda. They may not be as genuine about their sobriety as others. Something else to keep in mind.

 

                            

All in all attending a support group for any addiction is a very useful tool for people. You get from it what you want by attending. Take the time to talk to someone who has been going to meetings for a long time. Someone who has been clean and sober for a while. You can feel their inner-strength, self assurance and positive attitude. It doesn't matter how many people are at a meeting either. You can attend a small group or a large group, its up to you. But going is key to feeling better and staying clean and sober. You are going because you want to learn to live life on life's terms, without having to use drugs or alcohol to exist. The cravings diminish overtime, the triggers are kept at bay because you've learned how to deal with them. You wake up and actually feel grateful for the day. Like a lot of things, you get out of it what you put into it. But you have to make up your mind to go everyday even more than once a day if necessary. This is your journey to sobriety. You are going to these meetings to help yourself get on the road of a clean, sober and happy life. This is the most important thing you can do for yourself and your life. You have to take it serious in order for your recovery to be achieved. And it can be achieved even if you're at that point of your addiction where you believe you can't exist without your DOC. As a matter of fact its when you think that.. that its time to get the help you need. Its time to get your life back. Just Go!

 

 

 

Copyright(c)2013.How Do I Reach Out For Help - What About Support Groups? Written by SherrieVitello. All Rights Reserved.

How We Handle Anger

An old Japanese tale goes,  a belligerent samurai once challenged a Zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell.  But the monk replied with scorn, "you're nothing but a lout...I can't waste my time with the likes of you!"  His very honor attacked, the samurai flew into a rage and pulling his sword from it's scabbard, yelled, "I could kill you for your impertinence!"  That, the monk calmly replied, is hell. Startled at seeing the truth in what the master pointed out about the fury that had him in it's grip, the samurai calmed down, sheathed his sword, and bowed, thanking the monk for his insight.  And that, said the monk...is heaven.

Anger is a trap. When we allow ourselves to dissolve into fury, we do damage to our soul and spirit.  Anger can come upon you suddenly, like a flash.  And you are engaged because it is a trap. It is a trap of the sinister force, the forces of darkness and it is a trap we lay for ourselves because we don't deliver ourselves from the dweller-on-the-threshold.
(The dweller-on-the-threshold is a term used to designate the anti-self, the not-self, the anti-thesis of the real self.)

But the will and the determination, the surrender and the consciousness of wrestling with ourselves to get rid of those points of darkness, that's something only we can do. Taming the wild horse of anger. We all remember times when we were angry or completely lost our temper. At other times perhaps we were seething with anger, altho' we didn't express it directly.  Some of us believe our anger is a good thing, and furthermore, you may feel better after you've yelled it out.  Frankly it gives me a headache after I exert anger & it highers my bloodpressure. Your health will be affected by anger too but not in a good healthy way.

Perhaps you see nothing wrong with venting anger. Yet when we understand how energy works, we realize that angry vibes, made even more powerful when we yell them, are explosive energy. It's an emotional bomb that disrupts clear reasoning.  And the aftermath of negative vibes doesn't just go away. It keeps us in a grumbly mood, pollutes productivity and impacts people around us. 

Most people don't like those vibes one bit. They usually forget the point they were trying to make midst the fury. Think of one of those times in your life when you were seething with anger.  Then ask yourself, "What was the point of my anger?  How did I express it?"  Now remember a time that you wouldn't say you were angry but you felt irritated, disgusted, annoyed or frustrated. When you look deeper, you'll discover that those feelings are simply variations of the theme, they all track back to anger.

Anger, a powerful destructive force, even when it's just simmering or seething within us, actually creates emotional pollution in ourselves, our relationships, our home, our neighborhood, our work place and the planet. What can we do about it? Checking a runaway temper is like taming a wild horse. If you have ever ridden high-spirited horses, you know not to let them just run, especially if they are jumpy or upset. You use the reins to guide them, a soft toned voice to calm them. You get much better results that way. We can do the same with anger.

We can bridle the beast. If we have our mouths closed, we will not misuse our power verbally. If we refuse to strike out with our fists or feet, whatever, we will not misuse our power physically. Even when our anger isn't a reaction to people but what may be going on in daily lives around us. Such as, the state of our country, terrorism, pollution from chemicals, trapping of dolphins in a tuna catch, the conditions of the world around us etc. All the causes we feel passionate about. Can eat away at us until we are pushed just enough & we explode into a raging, angry, irrational person.  

The principle of how we handle our feelings is exactly the same.  Whenever we are angry, we need to find a "constructive" way to approach the situation that is incensing us. We need to seek ways to take constructive action in our own sphere of influence.  Meditation i.e. yoga, pilates, getting out and going for a pep-step walk or any form of exercise can do wonders for anger (and stress). Anger is normal, every body has it, no one is exempt. 

But how we handle that powerful energy is our choice. We always have a choice.  If we adjust our perspective, we can take dominion over our passions. When we bridle our temper, we begin to tame that wild horse of anger within us. Now we can rein him in, turn him around and head off that display of human volatility. Keep calm & carry on.  

Written by Sherrie Vitello, Excerpts taken from the wonderful book: EMOTIONS Transforming Anger, Fear and Pain by Marilyn C. Barrick, Ph.D.

You Deserve To Be Good To Yourself.

Why do so many people forget to be good to themselves? Do they think they don't have time to be good to themselves? Do they think they don't deserve it or maybe they just don't know how to be good to themselves? Being good to yourself, although thought by many, to mean obtaining something material, is having acceptance about who you are as an individual. Letting go of stereotyping by others. The true art of being good to yourself is acceptance. You know all about the responsibilities you have everyday. You work hard towards a better life for you and your family. You are aware of what you have to do to survive, and that can be difficult sometimes. You wake up everyday and take care of all of the things that keeps your lifestyle in check. You may have struggles, you may worry, you may have absurdities arise on occasion. Alot of people have to run a household, with children and partners. You have bills to pay, shopping for home supplies. Budgeting your money is like trying to cover a 10 foot space with an 6 foot peice of material. You stretch it as far as it will go. When you're driving alone or you're at home alone, you sometimes take a breath and exhale. You wonder how everything seems to work out and how you do all of this without losing your mind. At that moment, when you feel like that, say to your self  

"Wow..I've made it through another week. Things aren't as bad as they seem. I've done a good job."

Patting yourself on the back when you've done so much is good. Its alright to acknowledge that you have done a good job! For some people treating themselves to something they've wanted for a long time is another way they like to be good to themselves. If its affordable taking that trip to that beautiful place you've always wanted to go to is a wonderful idea. Going somewhere you've always wanted to go can refresh and replenish your soul and spirit. Just getting away from the usual routine is of benefit to all of us. Buying that pretty dress you've had your eye on or purchasing that beautiful painting you saw can give a person a sense of gratification and fullfillment. Even something as simple as a nice warm moisturizing bath, your favorite music and a moment of private peace is so rewarding. But beyond these material things we have to be able to be accepting of who we are individually. How we feel about ourselves, inside, is what truly gives us peace and happiness. How we are and how we feel when we are alone is really the measurement of our character. How do we feel when we are by ourselves, where no one can see us. A person of genuine character or personality can recognize within themselves an inner peace or calmness. Learning to settle the anxious mind is key to having an even tempered mind set. There are so many variables for ways of having a calm and zen like state of mind. This topic will only cover a few. By reading and putting into action affirmations and lifestyle changes anyone can learn to be good to themselves and have inner peace.

Having and applying a positive outlook, not only is a way for us to be good to ourselves, it will help us to achieve more in our lives just by sheer will of thought. Although we can't control all things, most of the time, we can control what takes place in our minds. Like the captain of your own ship, you choose to sail calm waters or you choose to sail into stormy seas. If we keep allowing undesireable situations to be apart of our lives, then undesireable circumstances is what you will find yourself in. It is that simple. Being good to yourself is a 'learning in progress' scenario. We never really stop learning in our lifetime. When we learn how to love and except ourselves we are open to love and excepting others. We also learn not to allow others to tear us down due to their own inadequacies. Creating a world how you want it to be for yourself is a lifestyle. This doesn't mean you don't have people in your life, of course you do. It means that you live your life in a manner that is good and positive and inturn that which you have created will resignate to others in and around your life in that same positive manner. Although negatives will always rear their ugly heads, its how we react to negative situations that will make the difference in our own lives. No one likes negative situations and we do our best not to have them happen. Unfortunately negative things will occur when we least expect it. Whatever you do, don't fly off the handle. Be good to yourself and stop, think, then speak. The best way to handle most negative situations is to defuse it. Look for ways to resolve things with a positive outcome. Once you do this, not only will you feel good about the outcome, you'll feel good about yourself and your life because you've created something positive out of something negative. That in itself is rewarding.

We see it all of the time, people in situations that make themselves so unhappy. Which can cause them to lead unhealthy and negative lifestyles. The key to happiness in not just having abunch of material things, its much more than that. Each of us are only given so much time on this planet. No one knows when their time will be up. What matters is what we do with the time we are given. No one really knows what happens after we die. If there is a 'heaven' and a 'hell' we sure don't want to live a life that will cause us to go to hell. So it stands to reason to live as good and positive as possible and share that with others, as much as we can. When we are good to ourselves, we shine, we feel positive, we have a essence of calmness, inner strength and peace that permeates to others around us. In a world with so much negativity its difficult to always hold on to a positive mind set. But so long as we choose not to allow the negatives to take hold, we can be good to ourselves and carry on with a happy way of living. You deserve to live a happy life, you deserve to be good to yourself. Enjoy the day.

Copyright(c)2012. You Deserve To Be Good To Yourself. By Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.