Way Beyond The Time For Change

What if you woke up one morning and realized
you're the dissappointment?

So it's 6:30am and time to wake up. For the longest time you can remember feeling like crap as soon as you became conscious. You would almost come to tears because you knew it was time to get up and face the day. (Same s**t, different day) was how you felt. Until of course you got your fix for the day. Once you started using you loved waking up, because you knew you would be able to get your morning fix and feel right again. Knowing it sounds ridiculous, even sad, that you looked forward to using just so you'd feel right. But sad to say, that's what happens when a person is an addict. Everything seems better when we've had our DOC (drug of choice.)Until things start to fall apart, you get into trouble, or you just ignore your addictive lifestyle. It will keep snow balling out of control, until you realize how altering your thoughts of addiction causes change.

In the beginning of using, we believe its new, satisfying, even exciting to know you're about to get your fix. But after awhile its just an addiction, ball and chain, monkey on your back. It becomes a problem in one way or another. Things start going wrong for you, family and some friends stop coming around you, good relationships fall away, you get into trouble. You know in your heart that you're not living the way you were meant to. What if you woke up one morning and realized you're the dissappointment? The addict thinks how good it would feel to feel right without having to use. Its alarming to know how many are functioning addicts. They go to work and confront the day with confidence. Nothing bothers them, so long as they have their stash so they could bump themselves up (when needed) throughout the day. And no one knew of their ball and chain of addiction. As their addiction progresses, they wanted it even more, to feel this way clean. Although they love the way their drug of choice made them feel, they knew in their hearts this could not last. The addict comes to a fork in the road of their lives. They wonder why things don't go better for them.They will either get help and stop using and change their lives for the better or they will continue down their road of self destruction and give up on themselves. That is such a shame and a waste because life itself, is a gift.

Example photo:
Left pic is how Ann looked at
her worst time as a addict.
Right pic is how she
looks now clean
and happy.

In this example this addict decided to stop killing themselves and changed for the better. So how do they feel now? Now that they are no longer using? Since it's been about a year now they actually do feel good when they wake up. It took looking inside of oneself and some attitude adjustments to change the negative feelings into positive ones. Alot of meetings and positive readings. But when you want something so bad it hurts, you'd be surprised how strong you can become. For most, what they've learned was that they have to change how they feel about their lives, about themselves. It can take some time, but it can be accomplished. When the addict gets sick of being sick, realization of knowing you need to change is the first step to recovery.

Humans can achieve alot more than they think they can once they get passed the fear of being without the addiction and giving themselves a chance to achieve a better way of living. If we think of the possibilities instead of the obstacles, focus on the things we want, NOT the things we don't want, attract the positive, we can do wonders with ourselves and our lives. But you have to be willing to look at yourself, see what you've become, know you ARE more than your addiction or a quick fix. For the amount of people in the U.S. alone, all of the experience people have gained going through recovery and overcoming their addictions, still those who are stuck in their addictions will rarely heed the advice of those who've been through it and have come out on the otherside, free of their addiction. When the fear of getting high becomes greater than the fear of being clean, you'll know it's way beyond the time for change.

Enjoy the day.

Written by Sherrie Vitello/inserts by Celeste Vitello(c)2011.Way Beyond The Time For Change.All Rights Reserved.

Empty Nest Syndrome - How do we handle the anxiety?

A friend tells me of a situation that she finds herself going through. Actually its probably more of a life changing event. She has 2 children that have reached adulthood and they are embarking on setting out on their own. One will go to college and the other starts a new job at an advertising company. They will be moving away from home. It all sounds great for the children and we wish them the best success in their lives. Off they go..to their own lives. My friend, we'll call her Amanda, is now finding herself waking up everyday without the sounds of activity in the home. As a matter of fact there are no sounds at all inside. With the exception of the cat meowing for her morning meal.

Amanda grabs her coffee and is looking outside. She is almost in a numb state-of-mind because for her, this is her first day of living with her empty-nest syndrome. For alot of mothers(and dads too)this can make you feel alittle lost for awhile, which is completely normal. Of course some parents look forward to having their home back to themselves. Which reclaims a sort of individual independence, which is healthy too. But I believe that even so, there is still a part of each mother(and dad)that will miss hearing all of that noise, the music coming from their room, making sure they eat something for breakfast before they leave the house. Picking clothes up off the floor, sharing special moments with each child, that quality time is so important, even for just a few moments, knowing the smells of their rooms, making sure they have some spending money(if you can)and so many other facets that came along with a full nest.

A breif description of: Empty Nest Syndrome by Wikipedia states: Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of loneliness that parents or guardians may feel when one or more of their children leave home; it is more common in women. The marriage of a child can lead to similar feelings, with the role and influence of the parents often becoming less important compared to the new spouse. A strong maternal or paternal bond between the parent and child can make the condition worse. The role of the parent while the child is still living with them is more hands-on and immediate than is possible when they have moved out, particularly if the distance means that visits are difficult. This will also vary from culture to culture. In some cultures children take care of their parents until they pass away. The syndrome takes its name from bird nesting habits.

So what can we do to help relieve some of the emotional anxiety that accompanies empty-nest syndrome? Here are some strategies that will help. First if you're in a relation ship, you may want to take a good look at your relationship i.e. where will the relationship go from here? Make new goals and plans together that can enrich your bond with your partner. You've spent the last 2 decades taking care of your family, now its time to find yourselves and each other again. Activity is paramount, its so important to develop an exercise routine, bike riding, fishing, hiking, tennis, things you can do with your partner. Plus eating a healthy diet i.e. fruits and veggies(if you don't already do this)along with exercise is incredibly beneficial and you will live healthier and longer.

Pick up the Passion with each other. Make the time to rekindle that romantic side with each other. You've been so busy with family, you haven't really made any special time for just the two of you. Rekindle that romantic side. Plan a cruise, have romantic dinners once or twice a month, go to a resort somewhere. And a very important thing to do is just for yourself, make some "by yourself time." It's important to have some time to do what you like to do by yourself. Maybe start a hobby, create some art, do some thing that is constructive that you enjoy doing. Something that gives you a sense of accomplishment once you've completed it. Even though the children are gone, there is no need to smother each other. Alone time is essential for maintaining a healthy, positive outlook.

I believe at any age, when we participate in activity with children, whether briefly or longterm, it brings out the best in us and makes us better human beings. Enjoy the day!




Copyright(c)2011.Empty Nest Syndrome-How do we handle the anxiety?Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.