How You See Yourself Reflects Onto Others.

Look in your mirror.  Go on.. have a look.  What do you see?  Who is starring back at you?  When you look at yourself are you looking at only your reflection?  Only how nice you look?  Do you take a moment to look deeper then only what you see on the surface?  We want to see how we appear on the outside to other people.  People for the most part use the mirror only to checkout their look. Is the hair just right?  Do the clothes look good?  Does this make me look fat?  Is the makeup too much, too little or just right?  Are you handsome?  Anything in my nose?  Everyone does this to give ourselves confidence to go about our day.  But what about those times when you look at yourself in the mirror and you don't feel good about what you see?  You feel depressed or down about yourself or things going on in your life.  You don't think you look nice at all.  We are usually too self absorbed to realize how this feeling can look towards other people.  Which in turn only makes you feel worse about yourself.  There is much more going on with your reflection than you may know.  Did you know that other people whom you associate with like those at your job or in your class are like your mirror?  They will reflect you.

A simple concept, yet one that many people are either unwilling, or unable, to grasp.  Your emotions, your traits and your feelings are reflected back at you from other people.  Either through in-kind responses or through predictable reactions to the emotions or feelings that you're projecting.  Most of the time our feelings going on with ourselves projects outward to others around us. You can sense this when we meet someone for the first time and we may feel a "negitive vibe" from that person. They could be having a bad day themselves and they are just in a negative state of mind.  Altho' first impressions may cause us to draw a conclusion about someone like that.  Passing judgement wouldn't really be accurate.  This is due to how that person feels within themselves and it projects outward to others they may come in contact with.  Now a lot of people have developed the ability to put their best foot forward.  Even when things may not be so positive for them.  This is a good trait because what you think about within will project outward and show on the surface.

Altho' there are people that carry themselves as if everything is great in their lives.  Only to feel totally different when they are by themselves.  These kind of feelings should be addressed because there is something more going on they should resolve or change.  If you have to falsify feeling good you should assess what is wrong in your life and change it.  I'm talking about being real here. True feelings and how they effect others and reflect you.  You will project what you're feeling inside.  People who seem oblivious to these kinds of senses are usually so absorbed in what they are doing that they miss it.  So when you look in that mirror next time.  Get in close, look deeper and make a detemination of yourself that you are capable.  You can decide how your day will go. You will have a positive productive day.  Even though absurdities and negatives come into our day no matter how positive we are.  The key to maintaining a positive healthy reflection is by not giving any negative events any power.  Handle any problem with the best positive resolve you can, stay positive and if you catch the right moment, offer a pleasant positive comment to someone who may be experiencing a negative day.

For most people hearing kindness from someone can give them hope and make them feel better. Believe it or not, once you realize the power of positive re-enforcement, this can be helpful to someone who could use the positive boost in their life at that moment.  It is also great feedback for ourselves.  When was the last time you told yourself that you respect, trust and love yourself and you have worth and value as a human being?  Try this while looking in your own eyes.  Do you think you need another person to give you that?  You don't.  When we learn to love and trust ourselves we begin to care more about what we do, what is good to keep in our lives, what to change for the better and how our outlook changes our own perception of ourselves and our lives.  We allow ourselves to feel good about who we are as a human being.  We are no longer concerned about what others may think.  After all what others think about us is their business not ours.  We find that we can do a lot more things than we thought because we gave ourselves the chance to prove it by developing our own belief and support system from within.  And when you look in the mirror, we no longer think how we look to others.  We think how good we feel and how wonderful of a day we'll have. What the days experience will teach us.  What positive reflection I can share with others.  You will feel a self assurance and confidence about yourself.

Thats the key; embracing who you are and allowing yourself the beautiful spiritual being that is alive within you.  You will reflect your thoughts and shine on the outside when you allow truth to unfold within.  Its all about embracing who you are, acknowledging any faults, excepting what cannot be changed, and letting go, releasing negatives instead of holding onto them.  They will only cause you grief and harm.  Negative thoughts are empty energy that only zaps your positive outlook. It is quite easy to go through your entire life and never develop the skill of spotting yourself being reflected in other people.  Any development in this area will improve your self-insight, your self trust and your relations with others. Happy life day.

Copyright(c)2015. How You See Yourself  Reflects Unto Others.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

TRUST - Is it Given or is it Earned?

Trust. Some would say its an emotion while others may say its a logical reference in how we feel towards another person. Then some would say it is both. But what and where does it actually stem from. When we meet someone new some people will use their first impression of that person as their directive to trust that person or not. No doubt sometimes those first impression are very accurate. We tend not to trust people right away. Then there is the other side to that. We may think that someone is not to be trusted or they seem unpleasant when in reality, this person has just lost a loved one, or perhaps they are having financial problems or someone just robbed their house, you get my drift. When these things happen to us none of us feel really good at that moment. Sometimes it can take a few days for the negative feelings to pass. Unless its down right obvious I don't think first impressions hold much worth when it comes to making a permanent conclusion about a person. When we trust ourselves we can trust others. This occurs because we know we will be alright even if that trust we've given to someone else was a let down.

Iyanla VanSant defines this perfectly when she wrote the following in her book: Until Today!  She states: "Trust is based on your ability to stand your ground and rely on your own abilities, knowing that no matter what happens, you will be better off than you were at the beginning.  Anything less than this is not trust."  Just think about that for a moment. That is a perfect definition of trust. So what about that saying; "trust is not a given, trust is earned."  Some would declare that statement as the holy grail saying for trust.  It is very accurate, no doubt. When we meet a person we tend not to trust them for fear of being lied to, let down or hurt by them.  We automatically grab hold of that holy grail saying in order to shield ourselves.  Our apprehension to trust is rooted on feelings of insecurity and ego.  While our ability to trust is founded in feelings of safety and acceptance. So when those lines are crossed we are left with emotional wounds that scar over to create a tuff emotional shield which we rely on to protect us over and over again. What happens when we rely on this shield is it tends to also create a distrust within ourselves.  The soul essence that we call trust resides within us. We decide to trust and what we have decided to believe is reflected.

Rhino represents fear, uncertainty, untrust.
Child represents all of us. Children of the
universe. 

We tend to be so wrapped up in ourselves, so self referencing, so insecure that we are driven to protect our ego's without question.  While instead we should allow and embrace trusting.  As we learn to trust more within ourselves we grow and become more confident, sure footed and above all happy.  There should always be a balance of trust that we give and trust that is earned.  In keeping to this balance it allows us to experience true essence of trust and to deflect the negatives that mistrust can cause us.  One thing is for sure there is most likely more positive experiences to come about when we trust ourselves and when we allow ourselves to trust others. When we feed our own trust and allow it to present itself, it will flourish in our lives and our spirit.  While on the other hand if we feed our own trust with poison of negativity, fear, resentment, then our trust will crust over and harden. Which will in turn lead us through our lives with fear, no base of assurance and no true self love or true happiness.  Because our thoughts create form on some level within. All that our physical experience is, is the reflection of our thoughts.  Enjoy the day.  

Copyright(c)2015. TRUST - Is it Given or is it Earned?Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.  

How To Achieve A State Of Happiness

This is one subject that we all think about once in awhile.  I have found that although difficult we can achieve a state of happiness so long as we direct our thinking to that state of mind.  Sometimes I'll watch these talk shows that are targeted towards helping people with concerns, like being overweight, being self critical, not knowing how to solve their problems, feelings of depression etc. and the one thing I find about these people with these problems is that they don't seem to know that it's their own thoughts, their own way of seeing themselves, their own ways of focusing on more negative thoughts than positive thoughts that make them feel so helpless or inadequate.  Let's face it when you wake up in the morning and the first thought on your mind is, "Oh no...another day..." that's a hum-drum negative response to greeting the new day. Whereas if you were to greet the new day with a positive note, like, "It’s going to be a good day..." you would probably feel alot better about starting the day. 

It's all a matter of what you tell yourself and allow yourself to feel. 

You can wake up every morning and say to yourself "I'm going to have a good day today" or you can say to yourself, "Here we go again, another day".  It's really matters what we say to ourselves.  I call that self talk.  So you may ask, "What can I do to achieve a state of happiness?"  For one, you can start writing a daily journal.  Take the time to write how you feel about your day, the people in your life, your family, your job, your hobby, what made you happy today, what made you mad. Do this for about 2 to 3 months, faithfully. Then read over what you've written, and take note of the things that made you feel negative, sad or angry and which things you'd like to change. There's your list to start making positive changes to.  Start with one thing at a time, take small steps and remember you have to walk before you can run. Surround yourself with positive things, affirmations, watch positive tutorial videos, stay away from negative people.  If you must encounter them, as we all do sometimes, don't allow their negative energy to grab hold of you. Allow their negative vibs or energy to flow past you. Keep to your own feelings of staying positive.

Don't be too hard on yourself, you're not going to fix everything in one day, one week or even one month, it's going to take time to change the pattern of your thinking, but it can be done.  Start trying to radiate an outward feeling of happiness.  Feelings that are positive and happy will show outwardly and can create happiness around you and others.  Divert negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Don’t sabotage yourself by not acknowledging any negative thoughts, acknowledge them and tell yourself that these negatives do not serve you in anyway that’s positive. Then let those feeling go immediately. I like to envision my negative thoughts as floating up into the universe away from me.  As if leaving them to the creators. Develop a positive outlook towards yourself. If you're unhappy because you're overweight, or your life isn't unfolding the way you'd like it to, start to make positive changes to those undesirable thoughts and make it a goal to change to creating positive results. It is very possible for anyone of us to make changes for the better, but we must start with how we think about ourselves first. 

Remember, to change for the better, it's how you self talk to yourself that will set the course of your thoughts which will form the pattern of how you think.  Which will help you achieve a state of happiness. It will take some effort on your part, but don't give up, don't fall into the pattern of being emotionally lazy, keep working toward a better outlook. See yourself as a positive reflection on your surroundings and you will acheive your desired state of mind. Your thoughts create your life.

Copyright©2014. How To Achieve A State Of Happiness.Wriiten by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved. 

Fear - You Will No Longer Control Me

We see it all of the time. With friends and family that are into something that just causes them pain and suffering. We wonder to ourselves why on earth are they still in the situation they are in? Could it be that they are happier in misery? Perhaps. But for the most part it could be that these people, in these unhappy and unhealthy situations, just don't know how to get out of them or they are afraid to take steps on their own to change for the better. Mainly due to the fear that it wouldn't work out on their own or they just can't accomplish surviving on their own. By feeling that way these people think its safer to stay where they are. Without realizing they have placed themselves their lives and their happiness in a dormant state. Allowing fear to take center stage they decide to stay in a unhealthy, unhappy relationship. People who do this are actually not allowing themselves the chance to live a happy life. Because the main root of why they don't change their situation is due to the fear of failure. They are too afraid to take the steps that are necessary to better their lives. We all have fear to some degree due to the unknown. But when we want something so badly, we can taste it, people can learn to overcome that fear. We can learn to prevent fears or anxiety(because they go hand in hand), mostly unrealistic fears, from controlling the outcome of what we are aspiring to do. Its time to stop ruining your own quality of life. A beautiful saying I came across always helps me to get passed any fear (or anxiety) I may have about accomplishing something. I love this saying so much, I keep it written on a peice of paper and taped to my bathroom mirror. I use it as a positive affirmation to help me start my day. 

"Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important." 

There are some people that have no fear or anxiety about much of anything. For these people everything is a personal challenge. Like the quotation above to them situations are seen as their call to action that something must change. People with this personality usually have high self esteem and they make it a point to overcome any circumstance or overcome any challenge. As far as any measurement as to how many people in our society are like this remains unknown. For the most part most people will be a victim of their own fears or anxiety at some point of their lives. The levels of fear will differ in all of us. For some its very low but for others it can be on a high level and interfere with their daily lives. Studies have shown the relations among fear, anxiety and stress can be a precursor to health issues. This can effect our blood pressure, our cortisol levels in the body which can cause weight gain and due to fear and anxiety causing stress, has been related to illness. Also for people who are healing from an illness i.e. cancer or healing from surgery, having an overactive level of fear or anxiety can prevent a person from healing faster. It may even cause complications. The more we've learned about the effects of fear on our bodies the more questions we seem to have about it. Long ago when humans were first living on the earth, their brains used the flight or fight response, which is another form of fear, to help them to survive. For other mammals, it is still very apparent today. But for humans, we've grown away from that to some degree because of how we've advanced in our existence. And the fact that there are no longer giant creatures looking to eat us. Even though some creatures from way back then still exist today, they are not as big nor do they look to hunt us. So long as we don't get near them. 

There is help for those who have acknowledged that there is a problem. Some people can get counseling. Some people may have to use medications to help them with their fears or anxiety. But all of us can actually help ourselves overcome this crippling affliction of fear. It starts with acceptance and acknowledging that time has come to change. You deserve the chance to be as happy as any other person, no matter what their lifestyle is like. Fear is not prejudice and it doesn't care who you are or what walk of life you're in. All it wants to do is destroy your happiness and even your health. When we look at fear for what it is, as a disease of our emotions, we can set a course for a healthy prognosis. But we have to work at it and it will most likely be an everlasting affliction. However, with proper application of rendering fear helpless, we can overcome the control it has on us. One thing you can do right now is go stand in front of your mirror, tell yourself, "Fear you will no longer control me, I love myself, I trust myself, I respect myself. I have worth and value as a human being."  Write that down and the above affirmation about courage. Then tape it to your mirror and read it out loud every single morning and in the evening before bed. Read the sentence then look into your eyes and repeat it. As you keep doing this action your brain begins to wrap itself around your words and you will begin to understand and apply the meaning of what you say to yourself every day in that mirror. In doing so you will begin to think that way. You will begin to change in your thinking. In reference to all people the quote "As a man thinketh, so is he." (Or as written in the book: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth - Proverbs 23:7 -"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.") No matter what you believe those few words are true to form.

Copyright(c)2014.Fear-You Will No Longer Control Me.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

NEWS - Revenue and Ratings? Just What Are They Feeding Us?

"..just what ARE they feeding us..?"

Since the news media is based on 'Revenue & Ratings' it isn't surprising to most of us that most of the topics they talk about are sensationalized & horrendous. But just what are they feeding us? Its no wonder that when we watch it, it can sometimes leave us feeling abit depressed, angry & even alittle overwhelmed about the state of our society, both morally & economically. The best advice for this is to remember, it has been suggested that the media's only cause for existing, isn't for the betterment of people. Even tho' it may have been at one time. All they want is to be number ONE on the ratings board & to achieve a high revenue. I guess there's alot of people that like hearing about the terrible things that happen in the world. Of course the news media will gladly appease these appetites. I often wonder at what point did this happen? I mean..as far back as bible times,(first published in Rome by Julius Caesar) people thought it was a great idea to tell others about the things that were happening in their town, with events, with their leaders etc. It was likely an effort to control or conform to standardized information. (Read more about: Why was the newspaper invented? At wiki.answers.com)

But where did the news take the turn into airing peoples dirty laundry? Telling everyone about some stars plastic surgery, how much money a person has, what property a rich person just purchased, what young woman just made the centerfold, what some housewife did to her neighbors flower bed..I mean the list of absurdities just goes on and on. No doubt its a good idea to let people know about a criminal that escaped from jail and is in their area or a rapist or murderer on the loose. Letting people know about the weather, earthquakes, floods and wildfires is definitely purposeful and useful. Highlighting a childs accomplishment with a school project. The condition of our planets health and utilizing affordable ways to preserve it. Or letting everyone know about a new medical breakthrough that does actually cure something without abunch of horrific side effects. Telling people about things that matter, such as, a bacterial viral outbreak in a local area, a new law that has been passed by congress, or where there is available work. Things that matter, that truly help the people and our society. For the betterment of all mankind. (Not to say that the news never talks about these things.) Theres just not enough of these things being talked about when compared to the other side of the coin. Why doesn't our news stations rely more on those topics and types of stories?

I'm sure there are alot of folks that don't even watch TV when they wake up. Alot of the times playing favorite music helps to maintain a better outlook towards the new day. Frankly there are some people that have come to the understanding that "..believing nothing that you hear and only half of what you see.." is probably the best way to think. Can't say I dissagree there. Perhaps its better living in the knowledge that 95% of what is on TV is actually not true. Here's an idea, why not just create a channel on TV thats just for absurd, gossip and useless news? Just have it run for 24 hours aday, 7days aweek. Those who want to watch it can and those who don't won't. That could work! That way our regular news stations could focus on news thats worth listening to instead of subjecting or exposing everyone to empty, useless news that is broadcasted because its on the news teleprompters. Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting the blame on the news anchorperson. They only work for the companies that broadcast the news and certainly at times they too probably think some of the news as being ridiculous or absurd.

What little authority they may have, the authority to say that a news item is ridiculous and not worth airing goes higher up. That blame goes to those overpaid executives and power hungry companies running the news stations, and they love those ratings which makes for alot of revenue. Whether the news is moral, true, sesationalized or horrendous. Is there really a choice? Then again when you think about it, if the public didn't really want to hear all the sensationalized horrendous and ridiculous news I guess it wouldn't be so popular. Hmmmm..which makes me wonder, even more so, about societies values and morals in general. I guess the next best thing we can do about it...is simply change the channel. Just saying. Enjoy the day.


Copyright(c)2012.News - Revenue and Ratings?Just What Are They Feeding Us? Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.

Milestones In Our Lives

Milestones In Our Lives

As we collect the milestones in our lives, look to them as markers of experience and wisdom. However confusing, naive, or purposeful they have been, there will be more to come. Everyones journey is a stepping stone to learn from and utilize to your advantage. Our milestones in our lives mark points that can be special occasions, events or experiences that mean something to us. It can be wisdom gained that we can use to help others. Perhaps when we listen to those whom seem lost or confused, what we have learned along the way could be a light for them at the end of a dark tunnel they may be traveling. With an open heart of compassion we learn to walk amoung the hurdles of life with more detailed understanding. Without ego we are better able to make decisions that are more precise. Milestones help us grow emotionally as well.

When we are young we are so filled with the excitement of not knowing. We think we are the only one that circumstances fall upon. But we aren't. As much as everyone thinks they are so unique, altho' we maybe in some individual ways, we are also so much alike. Our emotions are constructed by the things we experience, especially when we are children. As we get older we learn to cope with or deal with the adversities that life throws into the mix for us, in our own ways. We realize that altho' things we were taught as children, whether positive or negative, are not necessarily the way we choose to see things as we get older. We grow, we change. With every experience we go through, we realize that we can take in the experience and commit it to a milestone.

As time goes on we've collected many milestones along the way. Some are huge and eventful mile stones while others are small but they still carry meaning. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to log our milestones into a computer file like a mini-movie? Then anytime we wanted to look back at them they would be right there for us to see again in full color. For now people use journals or diaries, take pictures or they record them into a computer notebook. Some people record them on video. Either way its human nature to record milestones in our lives because of the senitmental value, lessons learned or the memory it holds for us. I guess what some may classify as a milestone may be different than what others may classify it as. Its a personal thing. Something that means so much to each and everyone of us.

I believe milestones are a wonderful occasion because they are marked by certain circumstances or occurrences that take place in each of our lives. Milestones are constructed to provide reference points along the road in life as well. They are what gives each of us our individual lives. What makes our life experiences something to remember, look back on and cherish. Enjoy the day.



Copyright(c)2012.Milestones In Our Lives.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.     

You Deserve To Be Good To Yourself.

Why do so many people forget to be good to themselves? Do they think they don't have time to be good to themselves? Do they think they don't deserve it or maybe they just don't know how to be good to themselves? Being good to yourself, although thought by many, to mean obtaining something material, is having acceptance about who you are as an individual. Letting go of stereotyping by others. The true art of being good to yourself is acceptance. You know all about the responsibilities you have everyday. You work hard towards a better life for you and your family. You are aware of what you have to do to survive, and that can be difficult sometimes. You wake up everyday and take care of all of the things that keeps your lifestyle in check. You may have struggles, you may worry, you may have absurdities arise on occasion. Alot of people have to run a household, with children and partners. You have bills to pay, shopping for home supplies. Budgeting your money is like trying to cover a 10 foot space with an 6 foot peice of material. You stretch it as far as it will go. When you're driving alone or you're at home alone, you sometimes take a breath and exhale. You wonder how everything seems to work out and how you do all of this without losing your mind. At that moment, when you feel like that, say to your self  

"Wow..I've made it through another week. Things aren't as bad as they seem. I've done a good job."

Patting yourself on the back when you've done so much is good. Its alright to acknowledge that you have done a good job! For some people treating themselves to something they've wanted for a long time is another way they like to be good to themselves. If its affordable taking that trip to that beautiful place you've always wanted to go to is a wonderful idea. Going somewhere you've always wanted to go can refresh and replenish your soul and spirit. Just getting away from the usual routine is of benefit to all of us. Buying that pretty dress you've had your eye on or purchasing that beautiful painting you saw can give a person a sense of gratification and fullfillment. Even something as simple as a nice warm moisturizing bath, your favorite music and a moment of private peace is so rewarding. But beyond these material things we have to be able to be accepting of who we are individually. How we feel about ourselves, inside, is what truly gives us peace and happiness. How we are and how we feel when we are alone is really the measurement of our character. How do we feel when we are by ourselves, where no one can see us. A person of genuine character or personality can recognize within themselves an inner peace or calmness. Learning to settle the anxious mind is key to having an even tempered mind set. There are so many variables for ways of having a calm and zen like state of mind. This topic will only cover a few. By reading and putting into action affirmations and lifestyle changes anyone can learn to be good to themselves and have inner peace.

Having and applying a positive outlook, not only is a way for us to be good to ourselves, it will help us to achieve more in our lives just by sheer will of thought. Although we can't control all things, most of the time, we can control what takes place in our minds. Like the captain of your own ship, you choose to sail calm waters or you choose to sail into stormy seas. If we keep allowing undesireable situations to be apart of our lives, then undesireable circumstances is what you will find yourself in. It is that simple. Being good to yourself is a 'learning in progress' scenario. We never really stop learning in our lifetime. When we learn how to love and except ourselves we are open to love and excepting others. We also learn not to allow others to tear us down due to their own inadequacies. Creating a world how you want it to be for yourself is a lifestyle. This doesn't mean you don't have people in your life, of course you do. It means that you live your life in a manner that is good and positive and inturn that which you have created will resignate to others in and around your life in that same positive manner. Although negatives will always rear their ugly heads, its how we react to negative situations that will make the difference in our own lives. No one likes negative situations and we do our best not to have them happen. Unfortunately negative things will occur when we least expect it. Whatever you do, don't fly off the handle. Be good to yourself and stop, think, then speak. The best way to handle most negative situations is to defuse it. Look for ways to resolve things with a positive outcome. Once you do this, not only will you feel good about the outcome, you'll feel good about yourself and your life because you've created something positive out of something negative. That in itself is rewarding.

We see it all of the time, people in situations that make themselves so unhappy. Which can cause them to lead unhealthy and negative lifestyles. The key to happiness in not just having abunch of material things, its much more than that. Each of us are only given so much time on this planet. No one knows when their time will be up. What matters is what we do with the time we are given. No one really knows what happens after we die. If there is a 'heaven' and a 'hell' we sure don't want to live a life that will cause us to go to hell. So it stands to reason to live as good and positive as possible and share that with others, as much as we can. When we are good to ourselves, we shine, we feel positive, we have a essence of calmness, inner strength and peace that permeates to others around us. In a world with so much negativity its difficult to always hold on to a positive mind set. But so long as we choose not to allow the negatives to take hold, we can be good to ourselves and carry on with a happy way of living. You deserve to live a happy life, you deserve to be good to yourself. Enjoy the day.

Copyright(c)2012. You Deserve To Be Good To Yourself. By Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

The Rainbow Tree - An edited version that improves our quality of life.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Learn to let go of people that cause you pain. Hold fast to those people in our lives that lift us up and help us feel happy. Let go of all the things that you can do nothing about. Mistakes made in the past are there to help us to learn not to do them again and to help someone else who we see is going down that same path. Lift others up that seem to be down, sometimes a word of encouragement can make all the difference. Never be too quick to judge someone you don't know.

For as much negative things that are always around us in our daily lives there is a vast amount of positives. Always think of the possibilities instead of the obstacles that can trip us up. Take on the day as if it was your last. Take nothing or no one for granted. Be grateful for your health, loves, beauty in the world, things that make you happy and rainbows.

...everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives. It is a path we all must take. Enjoy the day.


Written by Author Unknown with excerpts added in by Sherrie Vitello

Our viewers liked more interesting reading here: http://myselfselfhelp.blogspot.com


Copyright(c)2011.The Rainbow Tree, written by Author Unknown and edited by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Living An Unhappy Life - The Causes and Effects.

Someone once said - "There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living." (Author Unkown)

A dear friend sent me this parable the other day and its been on my mind ever since. I keep seeing how it relates so well to those that are struggling with their happiness. What are the causes of them living an  unhappy life?  No matter what we say to those we care about, who are at a bad time in their life, its so hard sometimes to make one see a better way. Its actually heart wrenching to know that someone we love and care about is living a life of self destruction. So much so that they can't even see their own way out of it. What can we do for them? We can offer them support and guidance, hoping that it may help them, but unless these people change from within nothing we do will really help. Whatever our loved one may be suffering from that makes their lives miserable, the actual cause of it we can despise, but we shouldn't despise that person who is suffering from it. It could be happening to anyone of us. 

Even when we've tried so hard to help someone we care about that is struggling in their lives we eventually get that sinking feeling inside that we can't do anything more for them. We can find ourselves feeling at a loss, what do we do now? No one has the right answer here because we can't control people, not really. Unless they want to be controlled and those folks usually end up living in some controlling type situation somewhere. One thing is certain, we don't stop loving someone close to us that is living a life that is out of control. We offer comfort and support in anyway we can. We talk with them with love and concern. We keep telling them that things can be better for them. We show them the path to take and hope they'll take it. Most of all, for our own sanity and our own happiness, we can't blame ourselves for the way someone we love and care about has chosen to live.

Discover more about Unshakeable Self Confidence Here. Get your free download.

Parents can nurture, teach and love their children. Show them the right path to take. But it will be up to that child, once grown, they become responsible for their character and the way they live. That doesn't mean we should just not care about what happens to those we care about that have problems in their lives. Of course we care, we love this person. When we care deeply about someone who is having problems in their lives, it gives us an opportunity to help that person rebuild how they see things in their lives. Even words of encouragement can shine a light at the end of the tunnel for this person. Letting them know that there is a better way to live. There is hope.

Which brings me to how I interpret the parable above. Its important to understand that sometimes in our lives we need to turn and walk away from the lives we may be living. That which is causing us to be miserable. Some of the people in our lives that are dragging us down, influencing negative outcomes or surpressing our healthy attitudes are what I call, toxic people. We may even like these people, but they are contributing to how our lives are panning out and why our lives seem like they are going no where. Our circumstance of how we are living is also a factor as to why our lives seem hopeless, like its going no where fast. Same s**t different day kind of attitude towards living. This will also make us feel like our lives are just useless. But it isn't. Sometimes we just can't see clear or beyond it. It can be like we're falling into a black hole and see no way out. But there is. How?

By change. Change from focusing on the bad things in our lives and focus on the "what if" scenario. The possibilities instead of the obstacles. By that I mean, start thinking about 'what if' I try to feel better about myself, 'what if' I change my job for something more appealing to me, 'what if' I stop drugging or drinking, 'what if' I begin to want to be alive, 'what if' I leave this lifestyle that I've grown accustom to and change it, obviously its not making me happy. 'What if' I start trying to improve myself. As you begin to focus on the "what if" scenario you'll come to a point where you'll ask yourself, "well do I really want to change?" This is where you will face your demons. Now you have to choose, you are at a crossroads. If I were you, I would start to focus on the things you want out of life not the things you don't want. You are responsible for your life. Make it count. Getting involved with people that help to build you up not tear you down. People that are focused on building a better life can be a wonderful influence.  

 Most importantly, learn to forgive. Forgiveness will put out the flame of guilt, anger and animosity. You can start with forgiving yourself. Sometimes we carry within ourselves, things that we're not proud we did, or things that we've done that hurt others. This can weigh heavily on our hearts. You can make ammends with some but you have to let it go and forgive yourself. Then forgive those who have done you wrong. This can be most uplifting for us. Emotionally and spiritually. Its like purging your system of something that was making you ill. This can be, in no doubt the point of never returning to your old ways of thinking and living. Because once you've forgiven these things, you have opened the door to caring for and loving yourself. It's alright..you can love yourself now.  

Everyone eventually learns that life is way too short. I'm still trying to get my brain around how fast it continues to be. And the older we get, the faster it goes. So what do we do when we know we only get so much time to do things? We do as much as we can that will be of benefit for our lives, right? So doesn't it make sense to use what time we have to be as happy and productive as each of us can be? Of course. So we must strive to be happy inspite of all the bs in the world and in our lives. We'll be a better person for it too. But mostly we'll be a happy person and we'll be able to share that happiness with others. I don't know about you all, but I love making others happy because it does make me happy. So sharing the wisdom from life experience, positive advice or words of encouragement, for me, makes me happy to know it just may help someone out there.

And lastly, do you remember when you were younger, and you played games? You would get all excited inside about that one move you were going to make that you knew would allow you to win the game? That was a great feeling. But then sometimes you couldn't win or you moved to the wrong spot and lost. Then you felt kind of bad. But you didn't give up. Because you knew you would have another turn to try again or you knew you would play that game again. And you'd say .."awww, I lost, but I'll win next time!" Well the same principle still applies when we've grown up. We try things out in our lives and some times we don't make it. We may grieve some when we've failed. But remember success is not final and failure is not fatal, its having the courage to carry on that matters. So you try again, something else, it just might be the right thing for you. Think of all you can learn by looking at life this way. Think of all the things you can teach others. Learn to get excited about your life. Life is full of twists and turns. Living it in the haze of an addiction or just giving up on life is cheating yourself out of truly being happy. You deserve to be happy. Enjoy the day.

The person you are is the very Essence of your Being. This Being might be called your soul, your higher self, or your authentic self. The label isn't important, just the acknowledgement that you are more than the physical person reading these words right now. Unshakeable Self Confidence
Get your Free download.


Written by Sherrie Vitello

Copyright(c)2011.Living An Unhappy Life - The Causes and Effects.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.