"Carry these beautiful words of wisdom with you where ever your life takes you."

You Deserve To Be Good To Yourself.

Why do so many people forget to be good to themselves? Do they think they don't have time to be good to themselves? Do they think they don't deserve it or maybe they just don't know how to be good to themselves? Being good to yourself, although thought by many, to mean obtaining something material, is having acceptance about who you are as an individual. Letting go of stereotyping by others. The true art of being good to yourself is acceptance. You know all about the responsibilities you have everyday. You work hard towards a better life for you and your family. You are aware of what you have to do to survive, and that can be difficult sometimes. You wake up everyday and take care of all of the things that keeps your lifestyle in check. You may have struggles, you may worry, you may have absurdities arise on occasion. Alot of people have to run a household, with children and partners. You have bills to pay, shopping for home supplies. Budgeting your money is like trying to cover a 10 foot space with an 6 foot peice of material. You stretch it as far as it will go. When you're driving alone or you're at home alone, you sometimes take a breath and exhale. You wonder how everything seems to work out and how you do all of this without losing your mind. At that moment, when you feel like that, say to your self  

"Wow..I've made it through another week. Things aren't as bad as they seem. I've done a good job."

Patting yourself on the back when you've done so much is good. Its alright to acknowledge that you have done a good job! For some people treating themselves to something they've wanted for a long time is another way they like to be good to themselves. If its affordable taking that trip to that beautiful place you've always wanted to go to is a wonderful idea. Going somewhere you've always wanted to go can refresh and replenish your soul and spirit. Just getting away from the usual routine is of benefit to all of us. Buying that pretty dress you've had your eye on or purchasing that beautiful painting you saw can give a person a sense of gratification and fullfillment. Even something as simple as a nice warm moisturizing bath, your favorite music and a moment of private peace is so rewarding. But beyond these material things we have to be able to be accepting of who we are individually. How we feel about ourselves, inside, is what truly gives us peace and happiness. How we are and how we feel when we are alone is really the measurement of our character. How do we feel when we are by ourselves, where no one can see us. A person of genuine character or personality can recognize within themselves an inner peace or calmness. Learning to settle the anxious mind is key to having an even tempered mind set. There are so many variables for ways of having a calm and zen like state of mind. This topic will only cover a few. By reading and putting into action affirmations and lifestyle changes anyone can learn to be good to themselves and have inner peace.

Having and applying a positive outlook, not only is a way for us to be good to ourselves, it will help us to achieve more in our lives just by sheer will of thought. Although we can't control all things, most of the time, we can control what takes place in our minds. Like the captain of your own ship, you choose to sail calm waters or you choose to sail into stormy seas. If we keep allowing undesireable situations to be apart of our lives, then undesireable circumstances is what you will find yourself in. It is that simple. Being good to yourself is a 'learning in progress' scenario. We never really stop learning in our lifetime. When we learn how to love and except ourselves we are open to love and excepting others. We also learn not to allow others to tear us down due to their own inadequacies. Creating a world how you want it to be for yourself is a lifestyle. This doesn't mean you don't have people in your life, of course you do. It means that you live your life in a manner that is good and positive and inturn that which you have created will resignate to others in and around your life in that same positive manner. Although negatives will always rear their ugly heads, its how we react to negative situations that will make the difference in our own lives. No one likes negative situations and we do our best not to have them happen. Unfortunately negative things will occur when we least expect it. Whatever you do, don't fly off the handle. Be good to yourself and stop, think, then speak. The best way to handle most negative situations is to defuse it. Look for ways to resolve things with a positive outcome. Once you do this, not only will you feel good about the outcome, you'll feel good about yourself and your life because you've created something positive out of something negative. That in itself is rewarding.

We see it all of the time, people in situations that make themselves so unhappy. Which can cause them to lead unhealthy and negative lifestyles. The key to happiness in not just having abunch of material things, its much more than that. Each of us are only given so much time on this planet. No one knows when their time will be up. What matters is what we do with the time we are given. No one really knows what happens after we die. If there is a 'heaven' and a 'hell' we sure don't want to live a life that will cause us to go to hell. So it stands to reason to live as good and positive as possible and share that with others, as much as we can. When we are good to ourselves, we shine, we feel positive, we have a essence of calmness, inner strength and peace that permeates to others around us. In a world with so much negativity its difficult to always hold on to a positive mind set. But so long as we choose not to allow the negatives to take hold, we can be good to ourselves and carry on with a happy way of living. You deserve to live a happy life, you deserve to be good to yourself. Enjoy the day.

Copyright(c)2012. You Deserve To Be Good To Yourself. By Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Failure Should not be Looked Upon as a Negative.

"The way we perceive things will be the compass to how happy or how miserable we will feel."

"..its going to be a positive day.."

I've always believed that with each new day we all have the opportunity to make that new day a positive, productive, happy day. We owe to ourselves to try and have a good day. One that will end with a feeling of gratitude or satisfaction that we did the best that we could with the hours of the day we had. I've learned to think a certain way as soon as I become awake every morning. After all..in order to change our lives we have to change our thinking. For the better of course. So every morning before I even get out of bed, I immediately think to myself "..I will have a positive and productive day.." Its a form of self talk that I've grown accustomed to doing. Best of all it works well when we're at a stage of our lives of uncertaintly or unclarity. For things to be better in our lives, so we don't feel bad or sad every time we start a new day, we have to see our reality for what it truly is for each of us individually. Even when things arise that we feel we have no control over. The way we deal with it will make all the difference in how we feel. If things don't seem to be working out for us then its time to re-evaluate the way we are living. We should do this in order to find out where we should begin to make changes so we can carry on with a better outlook about our lives.

"..don't throw in the towel!.."

If we keep blaming everything on situations or circumstances then what we are really saying to ourselves is that we have no control over our thinking or lives. We've gotten to a point where we either "think" we can't change or we don't "want" to make the effort to change. That kind of mindset can and usually does lead to negative feelings, thoughts and outcomes. I've also learned that failure should not be looked upon as a negative. Why? Because if we didn't fail then how would we know what or where to change things for the better? We wouldn't. We would just keep going along the way we're going. Thinking that nothing will ever be better or different for us in our lives. So the next time you fail at something, instead of throwing in the towel, try to look at that failure from a different perspective. Think to yourself.."what can I do to make the outcome be more positive or successful?" Look back at the situation that caused you to fail in the first place, see it for what it is and try going about whatever it was you were trying to accomplish, from a different angle. It might surprise you to find that by looking at your situation from a different perspective was just what you needed to make the task (or situation)positive and successful.

Money as a Tool is Essential.

Failure is only fatal when we deem it so. The way we perceive things and what we do about things that come about in our daily lives will be the compass to how happy or how miserable we will feel. Alot of people allow material things to be the base of their happiness. Especially money. No doubt money (when used as a tool) helps us to have the essentials for living i.e. food, our electric bill, house payment, our car payment, our insurance, clothes etc. What I find is that even though people usually have enough money to pay for these essentials, (or they have assistance) people always want or need more. Thats because money has become the most important factor for alot of people. There's nothing wrong with having the desire to make more money in order to live better. But when it comes to being so preoccupied with making money that you forget the true quality of living, that is a problem. We malfunction. Like a robot that is overloaded with too much to process. We can forget about the important things in life i.e. our families, helping others, the beauty of nature, the small things we do that really count and gives us feelings of gratitude or fullfilment. All in all in our pursuit of happiness we should never forget the things that matter. No matter how small they may be. In keeping to this way of thinking, we can be more balanced in all the phases of our lives.

"Don't Allow Your Failures To Hold You Down"

Everyone at one time or another will fail at something. Its just the way the cycle of living is. What we have to realize about failure is that we can learn from it and actually use it as a tool to make things turn out better for each of us. Learning this lesson early on in life is essential to creating a productive, successful path for our lives. Unfortunately some people won't learn this until they are older and have been through some negative experiences. We try to cushion the stress or hurt we may have experienced by buffering the emotional pain with drugs, alcohol or other forms of addiction. Which because we are creatures of habit, usually turns into an addiction. Although this is a difficult stage for people to go through, they can still come out of it, be free of it and not rely on artificial stimuli to help them cope. Besides, people miss so much when in the haze of addiction. I never knew how much I truly missed until I became free of my addictions. It was as if I was standing on a mountain cliff and I saw the sunrise for the first time. I mean to genuinely have laughter because I honestly felt happy was an awakening I'll never let go of. So if you're feeling down about the way you see your life and you're not sure of what to do to improve your life. Try looking at things differently from a different perspective. Sometimes a small change in how you think can make a huge difference. Enjoy the day.


Copyright(c)2012.Failure Should not be Looked Upon as a Negative.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.         

How Addiction Effects Our Life of Purpose.

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose" When I read this quote I realized that this is what everyone needs to live by in order to feel content, gratitude and happy about their lives. Having a purpose. When a human-being has no purpose in their lives they are much more susceptible to staying or becoming addicts. Be it drugs, alcohol, over-eating, over-shopping, to name a few. Everyone of us feels the need to have purpose, be needed, feel worthy, have approval, even being looked up to. When we lack those feelings we feel empty inside and we tend to "make up" (sort of speak) for that emptiness. We do that by developing habits. Some people develop good habits and some people develop bad habits. When we are addicts we need to stop the bad habit and replace it with a good habit. So its stand to reason that when a person doesn't have these emotional-tanks filled to some degree, they are more likely to fall off the path of staying clean and sober.

We must continue at all costs to strive to have purpose in our lives. It won't be given to us. With purpose we are given the air under our wings that lifts us up away from our unhealthy addictions. Why does having a life of purpose effect us so much? I did some research about this and found some very interesting facts about how "purpose" effects our brains. Because of our limbic system located in our brains. This part of our brain directs emotion and behavior. The limbic system sets the emotional tone of information before it reaches the cortex, where most of our thinking and learning takes place. Our limbic system interprets and directs emotions and behavior. Then these emotions are sent to the cortex where it is processed. When we have purpose in our lives we have emotions of fulfillment and contentment. This is a positive state of mind and our limbic system interprets this as positive information.

Which gives us a feeling of purpose and directs our behavior to achieve and meet our goals. Of course when our feelings get hurt or we have emotional trauma in our lives, it makes us feel unhappy as if we have no purpose at all. Especially when we have not learned how to cope with or deal with negative situations very well. These kinds of emotions can lead us to finding ways to comfort ourselves, over eat, self medicate or drink too much, to forget how we're really feeling. And this happens alot to alot of people. Now think for a moment just how using drugs, alcohol or overeating (which are the 3 most common forms of addiction) will effect us. First by using artificial stimulus (some-thing external that influences an activity such as drugs, alcohol, over eating) we end up saturating our brains due to the overflow of chemicals. Drugs, alcohol or overeating effect our brains by acting to enhance or interfere with the activity of neuro- transmitters and receptors within the synapses of the brain.

Our brains are made up of neurons ( aka nerves) so whatever drugs or chemicals we put into our bodies will get to our brains but the effects are destructive not productive. This is why after so many years of drug addiction, alcoholism or over eating the effects on our brains and bodies start to take over. We've all seen people that have been addicts for a long time and the abuse they subject their bodies to, the end results are unpleasant to see. Whenever you think about something, sense something or do something, what is happening at the level of the brain is that various neurons are sending information to one another concerning what you are thinking, sensing or doing. It is at the level of this inter-neuron communication that most drugs have their effects. Either by over stimulating or preventing proper function. So the idea that we are making ourselves feel better by continuing with an addiction is in reality a harmful and false state of mind. And we cause more damage to our brains than we truly know or want to admit to.

Because our addictive thinking has clouded our reasoning and doesn't want us to stop being addicts. It's a demon we have to fight in order to gain control over our health and quality of life. When you really think about how addictions effect your brain and body to this degree. You can build on that knowledge of how to start stopping your addiction. We all know that addiction isn't good for us. But when we step back and see the true damage and we learn how our addictions really hurt us and how it disrupts our lives. We can then see that it's up to us as an individual to stop blaming everyone and everything else, take responsibility for your actions and to get the help
needed to stop being an addict. To allow ourselves to gain control and achieve a positive lifestyle, state of mind and a happier life. It is only when the addict can addmit they have this problem, they can't fix it alone and they reach out for help that they are truly on the path to recovery. We can then understand the true meaning of "getting high on life!"  Enjoy the day.

Thank you for reading, please pick up your FREE gift:   Discover Your Life Purpose
                    [Once on page, scroll down to free-download, there you go!]


  Copyright(c)2011-2012. How Addiction Effects Our Life of Purpose. Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Addiction and Denial - The 2 Components That Make Up Addiction.

   I was researching some ideas about articles on addiction and I came across Dr.  Robert Lefever's video's. I reviewed a few of them and found that they really focus on the indepth problems of addiction. The how's, why's, what can be done, how can I help myself, etc. The 3 most common addictions are alcohol, drugs, and eating disorders(both anorexia & bulimia.) The one thing I found was although we don't recognize it when we're actively in our addiction, we do have control over what happens to us. Once we accept the fact that we need to get help. We can overcome the powers of the addiction. But we first have to acknowledge and except that we need help to fight our problem.

Take a moment and have a look at this video, which is informative and very helpful for any of us either just beginning to get clean and sober or to help us stay on track of our sobriety. Dr.  Lefever makes some really "right on the head" points. He knows what will work for addicts who want to change for the better. He himself was an addict for 21 years, he didn't think he had a problem either, like alot of addicts think. Until the pain of his addiction was so bad that he had to make a change. Watch the video, you'll see what I mean. It just might help to get someone back on the right track to living instead of killing themselves.
Thanks for watching and reading my post. Enjoy the day!

Dr Robert Lefever-MA, MB, B Chir. - In 1986, Founded The PROMIS Recovery Centre, which pioneered and developed a new approach combining the benefits of several proven therapeutic models. The approach was so radical it was initially met with scepticism by the medical press. However, word rapidly spread, through patients’ recommendations, that the approach was miles ahead of anything else available. We quickly established ourselves as the only place to go.

Keep Your Eye on Your Goals No Matter What Comes Your Way!

                       (Video-Source by kannanssss)
Without failure we would never learn to do better next time. All of the negatives that seem to try to divert us from reaching our goals are there to make us better at what we do. Persistence is a unique mental strength, a strength that is essential to comb at the fierce power of the repeated rejections and numerous other obstacles that sit in waiting and all apart of winning in a fast moving, ever changing world. Highly successful men and women who have cut a path for others to follow, while leaving their mark on history all shared one common thing, everyone of these people were persistent.

So the next time you feel like you're getting no where, we all do sometimes, that's the time we truly need to put our best foot forward and keep working at our goals. It's when times seem there hardest that must not quit. Try applying affirmations to your daily routine. Here are 2 of my favorites.....

..."Success is NOT final, Failure is NOT fatal, it's having the courage to continue that matters." by Winston Churchill.

..."Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit." by Napoleon Hill. 

When we apply to our climb towards our success the thought process of succeeding instead of the fear factors of failing, we already have made progress towards our goals. Now, we keep going, steady, patiently, with persistence, never allowing anything to remove from our minds eye, our plateau of  our goals. When we believe in what we are trying to accomplish, we make way for that accomplishment to become reality.


  Enjoy the day.

For more inspiration follow us at: http://myselfselfhelp.blogspot.com

Copyright(c)2011.Keep Your Eye on Your Goals No Matter What Comes Your Way! By Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Keeping Up With The Joneses - That In Itself Is A Real Tragety



"Hey..I have to get one just like that!"

Why is it that we humans, or alot of humans, seem to think that they have to "keep up with the Joneses?" All thru' our lives we observe how there are so many people in our society that feel that they have to have the same style of clothes, the same vehicle, the same material things that someone else my have. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about looking up to or admiring someone for their character here, this is more about the material things that people seem to think define them. Sure it's great to have a nice wardrobe or a nice car. And perhaps these things do define us to some degree. But these material things are not who we are, at least they shouldn't be, they are material, they can show our success or our financial status but they can't make us who we are as a human being. Sadly for some people, they never get that. Have you ever noticed some of those people that are "well off financially" have a way of looking at others like they are much better than most people? Why is that? What happens to the character or personalities of people that have alot of material things? If you've been around these kind of people, you may have noticed how judgemental some of them can be. It's almost like they forget that somewhere along their family tree, their ancestors all got started somewhere too and probably with very little means. Reflecting back to school days is some the most painful memories for some, because they can recall the way they were treated just because they didn't have all the material things some others had.
Get Your Free Download Gift Here

"Why do they have to make fun of me?"

They were made fun of, ridiculed, picked on, out cast for no real reason other than the fact that they didn't have the designer clothes, the nice car, the current hair style, or the cool school supplies. Like alot of us, alot of us didn't have those things either and we would hang out with others that were on a similar material level. Of course the guy with the coolest car was always admired and all the girls wanted to be with that guy. Unfortunately people that had alot of material things would act stuck up or judgemental of others with less material things. Once in awhile though, you'd meet someone that had all the material things and they were truly a nice person. They weren't judgemental, they didn't criticize others, they would help you out with your studies, if asked to, they seemed to treat others as they would like to be treated themselves. So what's wrong here? Why is it that some people that have more material things than others seem to develop an attitude of disdainfulness towards those who aren't on the same material level?  Are human beings taught this way of thinking from there parants or peers that are also well off? If so why? Just because someone has more material things than someone else, does that make them better?

You can take two people and stand them side by side. Person A only makes $20,000 a year, person B is well off, makes over $95,000 or more a year. Ok, this is going to seem abit strange but it's a way of comparing them, stick with me for a minute. Picture these 2 people in your mind, see them standing side by side, got it in your minds eye? Ok, now picture them naked...no really, picture them without any clothes on for a second, look at their bodies from head to toe. Not much difference right? With the exception that some parts may be bigger than others i.e. their hands, feet, longer hair, keep it clean now, this is PG rated LOL! Ok back to the point. Now picture them dressing themselves. Whether they start with the bottom half first or the top half first, isn't important. But as you see them dressing themselves, they really don't do anything much different than anyone else, they really don't look any different than anyone else. So what is it that causes a person that has more material things than others, seem to also have a different way of seeing others? I could never understand why that is so. Don't get me wrong, not all well off people are this way. But you've got to admit there is a majority of people that are like that. I want to know why? Where is it etched in stone that a person that has more material things is better than those who don't?
Get Your Free Download Gift here

The human factor

Do you think people that are well off materially are better people at heart than others? No of course not. There is good and bad people from all walks of life. Being good at heart stems from what we are taught as children, life-lessons etc. But there are people that are well off materially that "think" they are better than others. So it would stand to reason that these kind of people were taught to think this way. That could be the great divide between all people. When we "think" that we are better than everyone else, humans tend to forget the human factor. In general, a human factor is a physical or cognitive property of an individual or social behavior which is specific to humans and influences functioning of technological systems as well as human-environment equilibriums. Equilibrium is the condition of a system in which competing influences are balanced.   I believe people thinking they are better than others because they have more material things, stems from way back in time. I mean, even back to when people were first on the planet. And if so, why? Could our creators have been responsible for placing this in our genes? Where did this way of thinking derive from? Perhaps it has to do with humans having free-will. Our creators gave us free-will, so we could rationalize, solve, decide choose the way we think. That being so could be the reason why alot of humans believe if they have more material things, they are better than others. But even if this is true, I'm not saying these people are better than others. Maybe just better off. In a material sense

Quality of Life is so much more than material things.

As our children grow they aspire to be astronauts, doctors, physicists, great chef's, teachers, artists, and alot of them try to reach that goal and succeed. I believe whatever life-lessons are taught or learned by our children inspire them to become the adult they want to be. No doubt when we are raised with more means than others, we can accomplish things easier. Not to say, that anyone on any material level can't accomplish things, they can. What all of us need to remember is we have the right to excel in our lives anyway we desire. We have it in us to become anything we want. It really doesn't matter how much material things we have. What matters is how we utilize the time we are given and how we utilize material things. Hopefully for the better, not for self serving, vanity or conceited ways. Our quality of life is really what should matter to us, not the material things we acquire in our lives. Perhaps some people are born into being better off from the start and the purpose of this isn't so these people can brag and show off all their material things. Altho' alot of them do. Maybe they are meant to have all these things for another purpose, to help those less fortunate or to teach others how to be successful. Its just that somewhere along the line these well-off human beings forgot about that purpose. They began to think only about themselves and how being well-off benefits only them. It has become a "keeping up with the Joneses", dog eat dog world for alot of people. That in itself is the real tragety.  Enjoy the day.

Thanks for reading, please pick up your Free Download Gift Here!


Copyright(c)2011.Keeping Up With The Joneses - The Effects On The Human Race.Written by Sherrie Vitello, All Rights Reserved.