Our Brains - Friend, Foe or Both?

Let me ask you a question. How often do we tell ourselves things aren't always what we think they are? In other words, there are times when our own brains just think about things so out of context that we have to tell it to be quiet. Although our brains are great at analytical things and things that require deduction or finding answers, where do we draw the line between when we should listen to our brains and when we should tell it to shut up? Here's what I mean by that. Have you ever thought about something that you may not feel too sure about and your brain starts running through a scenario of outcomes? Sometimes these outcomes are so ridiculous, maybe even frightening, that you close your eyes for a few seconds in an effort to stop thinking about it? Or the brain could be thinking of positive outcomes but you don't buy into them completely because things could turn out completely opposite of what you thought? This is what I've come to know as thought pattern displacement. I was told by someone a long time ago NOT to listen to my brain. At that time, I didn't understand, or maybe didn't want to understand what that meant. But as time has gone on and I've gained wisdom, patience and my thinking has grown wiser, I do understand that very well. And its very true too. 

Think of it this way. Within each of us we have 4 raw forms of how we think, come to decisions, decipher and choose our outcomes for our lives. They are our brains, our hearts, our gut feelings and our spiritual beliefs be them through religion or spirituality. These 4 forms make up who we are, how we make decisions and how we live our lives. What I've come to find is our brains are not always our friend. Our brains, besides being a brilliant thinking mass, has the capacity to destroy our self confidence or build our self image with just thoughts. It can even create the outcome of our lives. How we think and what we think are the components of what we make happen in our daily lives. That saying "..our thoughts create our lives.." is more true than we know. When someone says something negative about you. You are the key factor as to how you will allow this negative comment to effect your entire day, effect how you feel and even the outcome of how you see yourself. Unless you are an unfeeling narcissist, you most likely will feel some kind of feelings about what has been said. We could just let go of it, which is probably the best way to handle it. But for some thats not so easy to do. We certainly can't allow others to direct how we should feel. But most importantly we can't allow our brains to fall into the depths of imagination of self doubt, uncertainty or feelings of inadequacy because of it.

Some of the best ways we can help ourselves is by reminding ourselves of all of our inner strengths. The experiences we've gotten through in our lives, our achievements-no matter how small they all count. When the brain starts to think in negative ways, for every negative thought about yourself think of an opposite positive one. It may help you to write it down. Even though this may be difficult to accomplish at times, the more you do that the better you get at it. When things aren't going right for you, take a moment to ask yourself; "what is the lesson I should be learning here?" This is a way we can self examine ourselves and even gain strength within and change the way our brains can think. Now grant it, there will be times when you can't help how you feel. Unkind and hard times can stir up negative patterns, its just the way life is. But its how we handle those moments and how we think about them that makes all the difference in how it affects us and how we will feel. Our thoughts create our lives. We are affected by others only when we allow negative people and unhappy circumstances to affect our thoughts about ourselves. If you're a person that feels like the thoughts your brain creates are making you feel unhappy, its time to re-evaluate your thinking and begin to think differently. Don't become hostage of self sabotaging thoughts that hold you back from discovering what you are capable of achieving and who you truly are. Believe in yourself.


            Copyright(c)2015-2019. Our Brains - Friend, Foe or Both? Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Milestones In Our Lives.



Milestones In Our Lives

As we collect the milestones in our lives, look to them as markers of experience and wisdom. However confusing, naive, or purposeful they have been, there will be more to come. Everyones journey is a stepping stone to learn from and utilize to your advantage. Our milestones in our lives mark points that can be special occasions, events or experiences that mean something to us. It can be wisdom gained that we can use to help others. Perhaps when we listen to those whom seem lost or confused, what we have learned along the way could be a light for them at the end of a dark tunnel they may be traveling. With an open heart of compassion we learn to walk amoung the hurdles of life with more detailed understanding. Without ego we are better able to make decisions that are more precise. Milestones help us grow emotionally as well.

When we are young we are so filled with the excitement of not knowing. We think we are the only one that circumstances fall upon. But we aren't. As much as everyone thinks they are so unique, altho' we maybe in some individual ways, we are also so much alike. Our emotions are constructed by the things we experience, especially when we are children. As we get older we learn to cope with or deal with the adversities that life throws into the mix for us, in our own ways. We realize that altho' things we were taught as children, whether positive or negative, are not necessarily the way we choose to see things as we get older. We grow, we change. With every experience we go through, we realize that we can take in the experience and commit it to a milestone.

As time goes on we've collected many milestones along the way. Some are huge and eventful mile stones while others are small but they still carry meaning. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to log our milestones into a computer file like a mini-movie? Then anytime we wanted to look back at them they would be right there for us to see again in full color. For now people use journals or diaries, take pictures or they record them into a computer notebook. Some people record them on video. Either way its human nature to record milestones in our lives because of the senitmental value, lessons learned or the memory it holds for us. I guess what some may classify as a milestone may be different than what others may classify it as. Its a personal thing. Something that means so much to each and everyone of us.

I believe milestones are a wonderful occasion because they are marked by certain circumstances or occurrences that take place in each of our lives. Milestones are constructed to provide reference points along the road in life as well. They are what gives each of us our individual lives. What makes our life experiences something to remember, look back on and cherish. Enjoy the day.

Copyright(c)2012.Milestones In Our Lives.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.     

Gratitude Is Key To Being Happy.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Practice gratitude everyday and even tho' its impossible to have 100% of joy and happiness all of the time, due to life's negative absurdities. It always comes down to choice in how we allow these things to effect us. I am not saying we should have the attitude of not giving a dam about things, because thats negative in itself. Its more than that. Everything is a lesson, meant to teach us more about ourselves and to help us develop our higher thinking and... spirituality. So if we choose to be emotionally burdened by the sadness and bs in the world, its not that it occurs that makes you feel bad, its how you allow it to effect you and for how long, that dictates your feelings and attitudes. Sure there are many sad and heartbreaking things that occur for which we can do nothing for to help it. We can feel true empathy for the unfortunate. Take from those things the lesson, embrace it and carry on with calm, confidence and better direction for yourself. As an old saying went: " I use to complain about my shoes until I saw a man who had no feet." Be grateful for all things in your life. Strive to be happy. Happy life day everyone!

 

 

Gratitude image offered by Bing.com

 

 

 

Copyright(c)2016.GratitudeIsKeyToBeingHappy.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

How To Achieve A State Of Happiness

This is one subject that we all think about once in awhile.  I have found that although difficult we can achieve a state of happiness so long as we direct our thinking to that state of mind.  Sometimes I'll watch these talk shows that are targeted towards helping people with concerns, like being overweight, being self critical, not knowing how to solve their problems, feelings of depression etc. and the one thing I find about these people with these problems is that they don't seem to know that it's their own thoughts, their own way of seeing themselves, their own ways of focusing on more negative thoughts than positive thoughts that make them feel so helpless or inadequate.  Let's face it when you wake up in the morning and the first thought on your mind is, "Oh no...another day..." that's a hum-drum negative response to greeting the new day. Whereas if you were to greet the new day with a positive note, like, "It’s going to be a good day..." you would probably feel alot better about starting the day. 

It's all a matter of what you tell yourself and allow yourself to feel. 

You can wake up every morning and say to yourself "I'm going to have a good day today" or you can say to yourself, "Here we go again, another day".  It's really matters what we say to ourselves.  I call that self talk.  So you may ask, "What can I do to achieve a state of happiness?"  For one, you can start writing a daily journal.  Take the time to write how you feel about your day, the people in your life, your family, your job, your hobby, what made you happy today, what made you mad. Do this for about 2 to 3 months, faithfully. Then read over what you've written, and take note of the things that made you feel negative, sad or angry and which things you'd like to change. There's your list to start making positive changes to.  Start with one thing at a time, take small steps and remember you have to walk before you can run. Surround yourself with positive things, affirmations, watch positive tutorial videos, stay away from negative people.  If you must encounter them, as we all do sometimes, don't allow their negative energy to grab hold of you. Allow their negative vibs or energy to flow past you. Keep to your own feelings of staying positive.

Don't be too hard on yourself, you're not going to fix everything in one day, one week or even one month, it's going to take time to change the pattern of your thinking, but it can be done.  Start trying to radiate an outward feeling of happiness.  Feelings that are positive and happy will show outwardly and can create happiness around you and others.  Divert negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Don’t sabotage yourself by not acknowledging any negative thoughts, acknowledge them and tell yourself that these negatives do not serve you in anyway that’s positive. Then let those feeling go immediately. I like to envision my negative thoughts as floating up into the universe away from me.  As if leaving them to the creators. Develop a positive outlook towards yourself. If you're unhappy because you're overweight, or your life isn't unfolding the way you'd like it to, start to make positive changes to those undesirable thoughts and make it a goal to change to creating positive results. It is very possible for anyone of us to make changes for the better, but we must start with how we think about ourselves first. 

Remember, to change for the better, it's how you self talk to yourself that will set the course of your thoughts which will form the pattern of how you think.  Which will help you achieve a state of happiness. It will take some effort on your part, but don't give up, don't fall into the pattern of being emotionally lazy, keep working toward a better outlook. See yourself as a positive reflection on your surroundings and you will acheive your desired state of mind. Your thoughts create your life.

Copyright©2014. How To Achieve A State Of Happiness.Wriiten by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved. 

Joy In Living

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only within yourself. (by Chief Tecumseh)

Starting the day with a positive thought sets the tone for everything that follows. Instead of focusing on your troubles and worries, we can think about our blessings. How lucky we are to have a warm, dry place to sleep, good food to eat, nice clothes to wear, a job to go to, family and friends to support us, a new day to enjoy, fresh air to breath. And most of all how lucky we are just to be alive.

"I will take a few minutes when I first wake up to think about the many good things in my life" (by Linda Picone - The Daily Book of Positive Quotations) 

Sometimes we may feel as though we don't have anything to be happy about. Everything feels like a hassle or is not working out. Grant it, sometimes life can feel like a real pain for us. Now take a look at those couple of sentences. The operative word being used is the word: feel. When we feel a certain way its our thoughts or emotions that determine how we feel about things. Since we can learn to control our emotions or direct how we think, it gives us the option to layout our attitude towards the day in a positive light. Its actually up to each of us, how we see each day upon rising. If you are unhappy about your life, stop looking to find fault and make the changes necessary to make your life a better place for yourself. If you're in a situation that is negative get on a plan to get out of it! If you dislike your job, first off, think where you would be without it and if you must, start looking for another job. But don't dwell in the swirl of angry thinking or feelings of depression. In reality that form of negative thinking only surpresses your abilities to work things out for the positive. If its too overwhelming, you may need counseling to help give you a hand up and out of the rut you're in. Eitherway, its important to always see the light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how dark your life may feel for you. Remember how you think creates your life. If you continually think negative, you will feel negative, your life will be negative and negative things will be attracted to you like a magnet. Instead deal with what disrupts your happiness and turn it around so you can exist peacefully.. hence happier. Its up to each of us to plot the course of how our lives will be each day. So be the captain of your life, think positive about yourself and your life, steer away from negatives, be the captain of your spirit and enjoy the day. You only have one life to live, to the best of your ability, why not make it a positive and happy life for yourself and your family?

 

Copyright(c)2014.Joy In Living.Created by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Failure Should not be Looked Upon as a Negative.

"The way we perceive things will be the compass to how happy or how miserable we will feel."

"..its going to be a positive day.."

I've always believed that with each new day we all have the opportunity to make that new day a positive, productive, happy day. We owe to ourselves to try and have a good day. One that will end with a feeling of gratitude or satisfaction that we did the best that we could with the hours of the day we had. I've learned to think a certain way as soon as I become awake every morning. After all..in order to change our lives we have to change our thinking. For the better of course. So every morning before I even get out of bed, I immediately think to myself "..I will have a positive and productive day.." Its a form of self talk that I've grown accustomed to doing. Best of all it works well when we're at a stage of our lives of uncertaintly or unclarity. For things to be better in our lives, so we don't feel bad or sad every time we start a new day, we have to see our reality for what it truly is for each of us individually. Even when things arise that we feel we have no control over. The way we deal with it will make all the difference in how we feel. If things don't seem to be working out for us then its time to re-evaluate the way we are living. We should do this in order to find out where we should begin to make changes so we can carry on with a better outlook about our lives.

"..don't throw in the towel!.."

If we keep blaming everything on situations or circumstances then what we are really saying to ourselves is that we have no control over our thinking or lives. We've gotten to a point where we either "think" we can't change or we don't "want" to make the effort to change. That kind of mindset can and usually does lead to negative feelings, thoughts and outcomes. I've also learned that failure should not be looked upon as a negative. Why? Because if we didn't fail then how would we know what or where to change things for the better? We wouldn't. We would just keep going along the way we're going. Thinking that nothing will ever be better or different for us in our lives. So the next time you fail at something, instead of throwing in the towel, try to look at that failure from a different perspective. Think to yourself.."what can I do to make the outcome be more positive or successful?" Look back at the situation that caused you to fail in the first place, see it for what it is and try going about whatever it was you were trying to accomplish, from a different angle. It might surprise you to find that by looking at your situation from a different perspective was just what you needed to make the task (or situation)positive and successful.

Money as a Tool is Essential.

Failure is only fatal when we deem it so. The way we perceive things and what we do about things that come about in our daily lives will be the compass to how happy or how miserable we will feel. Alot of people allow material things to be the base of their happiness. Especially money. No doubt money (when used as a tool) helps us to have the essentials for living i.e. food, our electric bill, house payment, our car payment, our insurance, clothes etc. What I find is that even though people usually have enough money to pay for these essentials, (or they have assistance) people always want or need more. Thats because money has become the most important factor for alot of people. There's nothing wrong with having the desire to make more money in order to live better. But when it comes to being so preoccupied with making money that you forget the true quality of living, that is a problem. We malfunction. Like a robot that is overloaded with too much to process. We can forget about the important things in life i.e. our families, helping others, the beauty of nature, the small things we do that really count and gives us feelings of gratitude or fullfilment. All in all in our pursuit of happiness we should never forget the things that matter. No matter how small they may be. In keeping to this way of thinking, we can be more balanced in all the phases of our lives.

"Don't Allow Your Failures To Hold You Down"

Everyone at one time or another will fail at something. Its just the way the cycle of living is. What we have to realize about failure is that we can learn from it and actually use it as a tool to make things turn out better for each of us. Learning this lesson early on in life is essential to creating a productive, successful path for our lives. Unfortunately some people won't learn this until they are older and have been through some negative experiences. We try to cushion the stress or hurt we may have experienced by buffering the emotional pain with drugs, alcohol or other forms of addiction. Which because we are creatures of habit, usually turns into an addiction. Although this is a difficult stage for people to go through, they can still come out of it, be free of it and not rely on artificial stimuli to help them cope. Besides, people miss so much when in the haze of addiction. I never knew how much I truly missed until I became free of my addictions. It was as if I was standing on a mountain cliff and I saw the sunrise for the first time. I mean to genuinely have laughter because I honestly felt happy was an awakening I'll never let go of. So if you're feeling down about the way you see your life and you're not sure of what to do to improve your life. Try looking at things differently from a different perspective. Sometimes a small change in how you think can make a huge difference. Enjoy the day.


Copyright(c)2012.Failure Should not be Looked Upon as a Negative.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.         

The Rainbow Tree - An edited version that improves our quality of life.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Learn to let go of people that cause you pain. Hold fast to those people in our lives that lift us up and help us feel happy. Let go of all the things that you can do nothing about. Mistakes made in the past are there to help us to learn not to do them again and to help someone else who we see is going down that same path. Lift others up that seem to be down, sometimes a word of encouragement can make all the difference. Never be too quick to judge someone you don't know.

For as much negative things that are always around us in our daily lives there is a vast amount of positives. Always think of the possibilities instead of the obstacles that can trip us up. Take on the day as if it was your last. Take nothing or no one for granted. Be grateful for your health, loves, beauty in the world, things that make you happy and rainbows.

...everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives. It is a path we all must take. Enjoy the day.


Written by Author Unknown with excerpts added in by Sherrie Vitello

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Copyright(c)2011.The Rainbow Tree, written by Author Unknown and edited by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Gratitude IS our Latitude!

If you don't know already, "negative begats negative and positive begats positive." This effects all areas of our lives everyday. The more I learn about the way we respond to things and how it effects the outcome, the more certain I am about the validity of that statement above.

What outlook are we carrying forth into the day ahead?  Are we feeling fearful about the circumstances confronting us?  Do we dread a planned meeting?  Are we worried about the welfare of a friend or lover?  Whatever our present outlook, it's power over the outcome of our day is profound.  Our attitude in regard to any situation attracting our attention influences the outcome. Sometimes to our favor, often to our disfavor if our attitude is negative.

Thankfulness toward life guarantees the rewards we desire, the rewards we seek too often from an ungrateful stance.  The feeling of gratitude is foreign to many of us.  We came to this program(or circumstance) feeling worthless, sometimes rejected, frequently depressed. 

It seemed life had heaped problems in our laps, and so it had.  The more we *lamented what life "gave us," the more reasons we were given to *lament.  We got just what we expected.

We still get just what we expect. The difference is that the program(or positive changes) has offered us the key to higher expectations. Gratitude for the good in our lives increases the good.

* Lament or Lamented: meaning an expression of sorrow or affliction. Express grief, sorrow or remorse.

Excerpts taken from the book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

Written by:  Sherrie Vitello