A Hassle Free Life? Dealing With Life's Terms.



Look around you. You may see alot of people whose lives you think are perfect, but the fact is that nobody's life is perfect. Not even the "wonderful-life family" down the block, the ones with the 2 wonderful children, wonderful house, cute little doggie, 2 new cars, 3 huge flatscreen tv's, a John Deer Riding lawnmower and a wonderful weed and crab-grass-free lawn. Although it may not look like it from the outside, everyone has daily stress, absurd situations and problems. There is no one on the planet that has a hassle free life. No matter how good things look. The universe just doesn't work that way. There may be days when life seems idyllic, so enjoy them while they last because the universe is just getting wound up to throw you a curve ball. Its not a matter of IF it will happen, its WHEN. There comes a day when the car breaks down, the cable goes haywire, the dog runs away, you couldn't pay a bill, your nice new truck got broke into overnight, the lawn is sprouting weeds and the mower needs repair and you've just found out that your place of employment is downsizing.

Its no wonder that sometimes daily lives can become overwhelming. Its enough to drive a person crazy. Sometimes it does, sometimes we just break down. Yet basically people find ways to work through the absurdities and pressures and we strive to be happy. For some, they aren't taught about the tools or coping skills necessary to help work through life's daily pressures and stress. Perhaps their parents weren't taught to have solid coping skills either. We can begin to turn to outside influences. Befriending a person who is of good character and influence makes for a good example. Usually a positive influence talks the talk and walks the walk. Just as negative influences will have negative effects. Other influences can be forms of overdone stimulation, like drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, overeating etc. People do these things in order to feel better and to help forget the negatives in their lives. Its an easy way out of dealing with the pressures and not living life on life's terms.

We convince ourselves that we need this outside stimuli in order to feel good about ourselves. But we don't and its only temporary. We usually regret this later on after a bad habit has become an addiction. Maybe, at this point of your life, yours isn't exactly what you had hoped it would be. You may even think of your life as a mess. That's not okay. Unless you've given up on yourself and your life, we all have a responsibility to ourselves and our loved ones. People who have set goals, achieved things, created a life with structure and purpose always feel more complete and happy. If all you do is wake up everyday, do drugs or drink alcohol, you don't do anything constructive, your life will become one stagnant, sad existence. Even in the face of loss, due to a tragic storm, foreclosure on your home, loss of your job, loss of a loved one, whatever the case.

People can and will always rebuild themselves and their lives. Its in our innate nature to survive. To come full circle and back to a plateau of stability. You may not get back everything material you've lost and may not achieve every goal you've had on your bucket list. But by aiming high to reach your goals, you will certainly land above where you are now. Fighting the "good fight" to survive and exist in a state of gratitude or completeness is not an unrealistic aspiration. All things are possible when we believe in it enough to try. Your goal isn't perfection, but progress, day to day, month to month, year to year.  If you can look back and see that progress, know you're moving on, you gain fortitude and motivation which gives you wings. You're doing fine. As you progress, you compare life now with life 6 months ago or even a year ago. You see the progress you've made. It feels good and gives you direction and structure. Which are vital keys to feeling productive, content and living more happily.

*If you're in recovery, and this is your beginning, first off, you are not alone. For some people, the first year of getting back on solid ground, is a case of one step forward two steps back. You may finish the first few weeks not noticeably advanced from the day you started your journey. Perhaps you were in such a dense fog of addiction, for so long, that now you feel you are incapable of dealing with everyday life situations. If this is your case, you should embrace that fact and get the help you need. It may take a little longer for someone with that scenario to see improvements, but they will. Inevitably, in such a case, the time it takes to build a solid foundation for recovery is prolonged but still possible. Many of these people aren't ready to move on after a year or even 2 years. That could be your situation. If it is, don't despair. You have already started improving your life by acknowledging that you need to be in recovery. That's awesome! You're building a foundation for that new positive, productive person you will become. If you rush through that foundation then you're sure to regret it when the walls cave in on you. Take the time you need or you may find yourself relapsing and having to begin over again on a new road to recovery.  All life is precious, share your knowledge and help those who need help. You'll be a better person in doing so. Enjoy the day.


Copyright(c)2013.A Hassle Free Life? Dealing With Life's Terms.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.
 

Beat The Negative Attitude With A Different Outlook

Negative: expressing opposition or denial; lacking any affirmative quality. Positive: certain, absolutely sure; decisive; direct. In comparison these two words are the opposite of each other. Just as human beings have opposite sides to their personalities. It all starts from childhood. How we are shown the world. How we react to situations. How we deal with pressures bought on by others. Since there is no manual on how to raise the perfect human, parents have had to rely on things they were taught and things they believe when teaching their children. Right on up until we're old enough to handle our daily lives. Now although we always hear of someone "going wrong" because of how they were raised, and how we're raised does effect how we form our character. Parents can only give advice or put their child on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. The outcome to any situation will rely on how we see the problem.

For instance, have you ever known someone who always blows things way out of proportion. Alot of the time it's due to stress for that person but also due to that person has not learned that the best way to solve things is to meet them calmly and not to allow anger to blure your vision of rationality. Things will always go wrong in all of our lives, for one reason or another. If we just take a deep breath, wait a few seconds before speaking, think about the situation before coming to a conclusion, we stand a better chance at handling it with a much better resolve. In my life I've met people along the way that would just fly off the handle, before they even knew the entire situation. I did my best to stay away from that negative source. It makes it very difficult for us to approach someone who will not hear the entire situation and they will only think of the negative. This is not the correct way to resolve a situation or problem.

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When we look at situations or problems with a positive outlook or attitude we are able to resolve it easier and with less stress. A positive outlook gives us the opportunity to explore the different ways of solving things because we're not angry, stressed(too much) or thinking everything is negative. Therefore we can beat the negative attitude with a different outlook. And 9 times out of 10 we're going to succeed at making a decision for whatever situation may arise, for the better. So the next time you come across something that boils your blood, makes you mad, take a few moments to think about what would be the best way to resolve this, in a positive way, so it turns out well for all concerned. Leave your anger somewhere else because it will most likely get you no where. I guess for alot of us maturity plays an important role in learning to achieve a positive way of thinking. We would be better for it, emotionally and health wise once we realize that negative begats negative. Just as positive begats positive. Keep calm and carry on. Enjoy the day.
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Written by: Sherrie Vitello

Gratitude IS our Latitude!

If you don't know already, "negative begats negative and positive begats positive." This effects all areas of our lives everyday. The more I learn about the way we respond to things and how it effects the outcome, the more certain I am about the validity of that statement above.

What outlook are we carrying forth into the day ahead?  Are we feeling fearful about the circumstances confronting us?  Do we dread a planned meeting?  Are we worried about the welfare of a friend or lover?  Whatever our present outlook, it's power over the outcome of our day is profound.  Our attitude in regard to any situation attracting our attention influences the outcome. Sometimes to our favor, often to our disfavor if our attitude is negative.

Thankfulness toward life guarantees the rewards we desire, the rewards we seek too often from an ungrateful stance.  The feeling of gratitude is foreign to many of us.  We came to this program(or circumstance) feeling worthless, sometimes rejected, frequently depressed. 

It seemed life had heaped problems in our laps, and so it had.  The more we *lamented what life "gave us," the more reasons we were given to *lament.  We got just what we expected.

We still get just what we expect. The difference is that the program(or positive changes) has offered us the key to higher expectations. Gratitude for the good in our lives increases the good.

* Lament or Lamented: meaning an expression of sorrow or affliction. Express grief, sorrow or remorse.

Excerpts taken from the book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

Written by:  Sherrie Vitello