How We Handle Anger Matters

 

An old Japanese tale goes,  a belligerent samurai once challenged a Zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell.  But the monk replied with scorn, "you're nothing but a lout...I can't waste my time with the likes of you!"  His very honor attacked, the samurai flew into a rage and pulling his sword from it's scabbard, yelled, "I could kill you for your impertinence!"  That, the monk calmly replied, is hell. Startled at seeing the truth in what the master pointed out about the fury that had him in it's grip, the samurai calmed down, sheathed his sword, and bowed, thanking the monk for his insight.  And that, said the monk...is heaven.

Anger is a trap. When we allow ourselves to dissolve into fury, we do damage to our soul and spirit.  Anger can come upon you suddenly, like a flash.  And you are engaged because it is a trap. It is a trap of the sinister force, the forces of darkness and it is a trap we lay for ourselves because we don't deliver ourselves from the dweller-on-the-threshold.
(The dweller-on-the-threshold is a term used to designate the anti-self, the not-self, the anti-thesis of the real self.)

But the will and the determination, the surrender and the consciousness of wrestling with ourselves to get rid of those points of darkness, that's something only we can do.  Taming the wild horse of anger. We all remember times when we were angry or completely lost our temper.
At other times perhaps we were seething with anger, altho' we didn't express it directly.  Some of us believe our anger is a good thing, and furthermore, you may feel better after you've yelled it out.  Frankly it gives me a headache after I exert anger.

Perhaps you see nothing wrong with venting anger.  Yet when we understand how energy works, we realize that angry vibes(made even more powerful when we yell them) are explosive energy.  It's an emotional bomb that disrupts clear reasoning.  And the aftermath of negative vibes doesn't just go away.  It keeps us in a grumbly mood, pollutes the atmosphere and impacts people around us. 

Most people don't like those vibes one bit.  They usually forget the point we were trying to make midst the fury.  Think of one of those times in your life when you were seething with anger.  Then ask yourself, "What was I angry about?  How did I express it?"  Now remember a time that you wouldn't say you were angry but you felt irritated, disgusted, annoyed or frustrated.  When you look deeper, you'll discover that those feelings are simply variations of the theme, they all track back to anger.

Anger, even when it's just simmering or seething within us, actually creates emotional pollution in ourselves, our relationships, our home, our neighborhood, our work place and the planet.  What can we do about it?  Checking a runaway temper is like taming a wild horse.  If you have ever ridden high-spirited horses, you know not to let them just run, especially if they are jumpy or upset.  You use the reins to guide them, a soft toned voice to calm them.  We can do the same with anger.

We can bridle the beast.  If we have our mouths closed, we will not misuse our power verbally.  If we refuse to strike out with our fists or feet, whatever,  we will not misuse our power physically. Even when our anger isn't a reaction to people but what may be going on in daily life around us. Such as, terrorism, pollution from chemicals, trapping of dolphins in a tuna catch, the conditions of the world around us etc. All the causes we feel passionate about.
 

The principle of how we handle our feelings is exactly the same.  Whenever we are angry, we need to find a "constructive" way to approach the situation that is incensing us. We need to seek ways to take constructive action in our own sphere of influence.  Meditation i.e. Yoga, getting out and going for a pep-step walk or any form of exercise, can do wonders for anger (and stress). Anger is normal, every body has it, no one is exempt. 

But how we handle that powerful energy is our choice. We always have a choice.  If we adjust our perspective, we can take dominion over our passions.  When we bridle our temper, we begin to tame that wild horse of anger within us.  Now we can rein him in, turn him around and head off that display of human volatility.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2017. How We Handle Anger Matters.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

The Struggle Within

 

Live in the moment, not the past. Although your past may have been your detriment it has also been your teacher. It should not
hang over your heads like an ominous cloud but as a reminder of who we are not today.  We all come to those forks in the road
when we've lived on addiction avenue. Be it alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, over eating etc., we are responsible for the
decisions we make as they pertain to our own lives. No one and nothing else is to blame. The struggle within is a constant thing.
And although the road can be hard and even over whelming that doesn't mean we should abuse ourselves and commit slow suicide. In a
clear state of mind, you will see how much you've missed while living in your addictive state.

Sadly some will never come
to that understanding. We go through experiences in our lives with the hope of learning about how to live life. Everyday is a new
start for all of us. We decide as soon as we wake, how our day will be.

Even when stress and absurdities creep in. Its how we
perceive things that will be our compass to how we feel and live. Two things are for certain. It is certain you will end up in jail or
die if you don't stop being an addict. Its only a matter of time. And it is certain you can change your life and get the help
you need to change for the better. Many people have proven that to be a fact. You certainly do have a choice. You choose whether to give in and continue down your path of destruction. Fight the struggle
within you with all of your might. We all deserve to live happily and only by giving into the negatives because they seem to make
things easier, are we defeated by the struggles within. Strive to be happy. 

Copyright(c)2013.The Struggle Within.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Drug Abuse In America - How does it effect our children?

DRUGS ABUSE. It sounds bad, doesn't it? It is bad. It ruins people, it ruins lives, it kills. Did you know that drug abuse can start with children as young as those in elementary school grades? Sad to say it can. Today’s youth face many risks, including drug abuse, violence, and HIV/AIDS. Responding to these risks before they become problems can be difficult.  But by seeing these problems early on and responding to them with care, proper help and understanding, we can do what is needed to help those heading down the destructive path that will only lead to worse outcomes. Drug abuse has serious consequences in our homes, schools, and communities. Researchers [like NIDA- National Institute on Drug Abuse] are also studying older teens who are already using drugs to find ways to prevent further abuse or addiction. You can also find relevant information about drug abuse at: www.drugabuse.gov. Prevention science has made great progress in recent years. Many prevention interventions are being tested in "real-world" settings so they can be more easily adapted for community use. Scientists are studying a broader range of populations and topics. They have identified, for example, effective interventions with younger populations to help prevent risk behaviors before drug abuse occurs.
 
Sometimes people are so busy with their own lives they overlook or ignore a problem such as, drug abuse, becoming a problem. Whether this problem is with themselves, other adults in the home and especially children. Because some parents get so involved with their work and trying to provide for their family, they forget the most important factor of taking care of their family. That is being there for their families. Being an active member of their families development, social structure, activities like school, neighborhood friends and their families, teachers, and other important occurrences in your families lives. Although this can be difficult to do, a parent must make time to the best of their ability to "show up" and be there for their family. Its important to be apart of the development and functions of the family unit. Research has shown that when families that do things together, spend quality time together, they are less likely to have addiction problems than families that live like strangers in the same home.  Of course its not an easy task. This is also why young people that marry will want to plan out their lives together. Plan out having children. Plan to have a plan. Then make that plan the most important part of your lives together. Benjamin Franklin quoted: "If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!" Something to keep in mind as you travel through your journey.

The risk of becoming a drug abuser involves the relationship among the number and type of risk factors (i.e. deviant attitudes and behaviors) and protective factors (i.e. parental support.) The potential impact of specific risk and protective factors changes with age. For example, risk factors within the family have greater impact on a younger child, while association with drug-abusing peers may be a more significant risk factor for an adolescent. While risk and protective factors can affect people of all groups, these factors can have a different effect depending on a person’s age, gender, ethnicity, culture, and environment. Its a fact that when you plant your seed in "good soil" and nurture your garden, it grows healthy. Well why not the same principle for human beings?  Grant it, we'd be kidding ourselves to think that we are the perfect parent. There is no such thing. But as a parent, we fall back on the positive teachings of our parents, we can grow in wisdom, experience and guidance. Parental monitoring and supervision are critical for drug abuse prevention. These skills can be enhanced with training on rule-setting; techniques for monitoring activities; praise for appropriate behavior; and moderate, consistent discipline that enforces defined family rules.

We all know the destructive nature of drug abuse, as well as alcohol abuse. Prescription drug abuse is more apparent than illegal drugs, in some places. Without people getting involved in this planetary epidemic, we will surely stay on the course to moral crumbling. Our greatest asset is our children, they are the future. With proper efforts we can certainly put a big dent in this problem across America. There is always hope. And depending on how your perpective is about your own life, you have the power to make a difference. Whether you're just starting out as a young adult, or you're a veteran survivor of your youth. We have to care. We have to make ourselves aware of this problem and do something about it. It can start in our own homes, right now! By looking into places for help, such as, local area recovery and rehabilitation services, the cdc - wonder program, doing your own research about preventatives, becoming apart of a clean and sober household, can be the main factor in knowing what to do, when to do it and how to help loved ones that may fall into this very destructive way of life. Even though drug abuse in America is in full force, we can do things about it in our own homes, with our families, our social structure. But we have to be willing to take that step to be involved. Are you willing? Are you able? Then lets get busy!

 

 

Copyright(c)2013.Drug Abuse In America - How does it effect our children? Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.

 

Failure Should not be Looked Upon as a Negative.

"The way we perceive things will be the compass to how happy or how miserable we will feel."

"..its going to be a positive day.."

I've always believed that with each new day we all have the opportunity to make that new day a positive, productive, happy day. We owe to ourselves to try and have a good day. One that will end with a feeling of gratitude or satisfaction that we did the best that we could with the hours of the day we had. I've learned to think a certain way as soon as I become awake every morning. After all..in order to change our lives we have to change our thinking. For the better of course. So every morning before I even get out of bed, I immediately think to myself "..I will have a positive and productive day.." Its a form of self talk that I've grown accustomed to doing. Best of all it works well when we're at a stage of our lives of uncertaintly or unclarity. For things to be better in our lives, so we don't feel bad or sad every time we start a new day, we have to see our reality for what it truly is for each of us individually. Even when things arise that we feel we have no control over. The way we deal with it will make all the difference in how we feel. If things don't seem to be working out for us then its time to re-evaluate the way we are living. We should do this in order to find out where we should begin to make changes so we can carry on with a better outlook about our lives.

"..don't throw in the towel!.."

If we keep blaming everything on situations or circumstances then what we are really saying to ourselves is that we have no control over our thinking or lives. We've gotten to a point where we either "think" we can't change or we don't "want" to make the effort to change. That kind of mindset can and usually does lead to negative feelings, thoughts and outcomes. I've also learned that failure should not be looked upon as a negative. Why? Because if we didn't fail then how would we know what or where to change things for the better? We wouldn't. We would just keep going along the way we're going. Thinking that nothing will ever be better or different for us in our lives. So the next time you fail at something, instead of throwing in the towel, try to look at that failure from a different perspective. Think to yourself.."what can I do to make the outcome be more positive or successful?" Look back at the situation that caused you to fail in the first place, see it for what it is and try going about whatever it was you were trying to accomplish, from a different angle. It might surprise you to find that by looking at your situation from a different perspective was just what you needed to make the task (or situation)positive and successful.

Money as a Tool is Essential.

Failure is only fatal when we deem it so. The way we perceive things and what we do about things that come about in our daily lives will be the compass to how happy or how miserable we will feel. Alot of people allow material things to be the base of their happiness. Especially money. No doubt money (when used as a tool) helps us to have the essentials for living i.e. food, our electric bill, house payment, our car payment, our insurance, clothes etc. What I find is that even though people usually have enough money to pay for these essentials, (or they have assistance) people always want or need more. Thats because money has become the most important factor for alot of people. There's nothing wrong with having the desire to make more money in order to live better. But when it comes to being so preoccupied with making money that you forget the true quality of living, that is a problem. We malfunction. Like a robot that is overloaded with too much to process. We can forget about the important things in life i.e. our families, helping others, the beauty of nature, the small things we do that really count and gives us feelings of gratitude or fullfilment. All in all in our pursuit of happiness we should never forget the things that matter. No matter how small they may be. In keeping to this way of thinking, we can be more balanced in all the phases of our lives.

"Don't Allow Your Failures To Hold You Down"

Everyone at one time or another will fail at something. Its just the way the cycle of living is. What we have to realize about failure is that we can learn from it and actually use it as a tool to make things turn out better for each of us. Learning this lesson early on in life is essential to creating a productive, successful path for our lives. Unfortunately some people won't learn this until they are older and have been through some negative experiences. We try to cushion the stress or hurt we may have experienced by buffering the emotional pain with drugs, alcohol or other forms of addiction. Which because we are creatures of habit, usually turns into an addiction. Although this is a difficult stage for people to go through, they can still come out of it, be free of it and not rely on artificial stimuli to help them cope. Besides, people miss so much when in the haze of addiction. I never knew how much I truly missed until I became free of my addictions. It was as if I was standing on a mountain cliff and I saw the sunrise for the first time. I mean to genuinely have laughter because I honestly felt happy was an awakening I'll never let go of. So if you're feeling down about the way you see your life and you're not sure of what to do to improve your life. Try looking at things differently from a different perspective. Sometimes a small change in how you think can make a huge difference. Enjoy the day.


Copyright(c)2012.Failure Should not be Looked Upon as a Negative.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.