Skinny vs Fat - We Need To Have A Change In Mindset

In a discussion about overweight people and how they are seen. I couldn't help but interject my perspective about it. I see the problem of there being too many conflicting opinions out there. Altho' doctors have proven that being overweight is unhealthy and it can be for us. Certainly being at our proper body weight for our height is key to not being susceptible to many health issues. The views that a woman who is overweight is of lower value or appreciation than a skinny woman is merely due to the concreting of lustful desires by people who are in a position to put it out there that this is how it should be. It goes as far back as the dawn of man. The same applies for men who are too skinny or overweight also. The man who looks like Adonis, all cute, gorgeous, has a nice body with ripped muscles. Will definitely turn heads and is pleasant to see.

We all look at attractive people and seem to appreciate their looks over someone who may not be as attractive or as in shape. Because most people only see the outside. This is due to what we've always been told, what we've all seen growing up, what kind of examples we're subjected to, whats always been in magazine covers and movies. We've been programmed to accept a thin attractive person over a fat person. Even when applying for a job, it seems that a thin woman or man would be more likely to get the position first. I'm not saying we shouldn't be healthy and care about our bodies. I'm saying we need to have a change in mindset that allows people to develop a healthy attitude towards their bodies and people need to be taught, from childhood, a form of living healthy and having a positive attitude about themselves. Some would say that a person who is overweight is usually compensating for some sort of insecurity, lack of belief in themselves or they may lack the ability to correct or change their negative thinking. Of course that IS wrong thinking which can be and needs to be changed.

Healthy mind, healthy body. Everyone is born with their own ability to achieve what they aspire to. But sometimes people receive negative feedback or are subjected to wrong thinking. Because we have the ability to change how we think and feel, we can overcome negative input and turn it into our strengths. In doing that we learn self confidence, we have positive self esteem and there's a positive energy we feel and we reflect outside ourselves. Have you ever noticed how bright and attractive a positive person is? They have a healthy energy or glow that is nice to be near. Thats the beauty we ALL need to develop within ourselves. Seeing a person that is beautiful on the outside is pleasant to look at, like a beautiful painting or work of art. Whatever things you may think about when you look at a beautiful person is of your own making. It doesn't determine that we have to look like that person in order to have self worth or value as a human being. Young people truly need to learn this truth. I've never seen it etched in stone that we only have self-worth or value if we are handsome or pretty, thin or fat. That view was man made.

All this, is about what we see growing up, taught as children and how we learn to love ourselves and appreciate the beauty within. I heard a quote once and it fits right into what I'm trying to state here: Healthy mind and the body will follow. In doing so we can all shine and share the light of true beauty as it is meant to be seen. Don't be influenced by what you hear from self absorbed conceited people. See yourself and others for who they really are in heart & in actions. Don't believe what you see in magazines, on TV or in movies either. All that fakeness is just to get you to buy something or watch something. Consider the source, its not a rule or way of life. Love yourself and love will be allowed to exist. 


 Copyright(c)2014.Skinny vs Fat - We Need To Have A Change In Mindset.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

NEWS - Revenue and Ratings? Just What Are They Feeding Us?

"..just what ARE they feeding us..?"

Since the news media is based on 'Revenue & Ratings' it isn't surprising to most of us that most of the topics they talk about are sensationalized & horrendous. But just what are they feeding us? Its no wonder that when we watch it, it can sometimes leave us feeling abit depressed, angry & even alittle overwhelmed about the state of our society, both morally & economically. The best advice for this is to remember, it has been suggested that the media's only cause for existing, isn't for the betterment of people. Even tho' it may have been at one time. All they want is to be number ONE on the ratings board & to achieve a high revenue. I guess there's alot of people that like hearing about the terrible things that happen in the world. Of course the news media will gladly appease these appetites. I often wonder at what point did this happen? I mean..as far back as bible times,(first published in Rome by Julius Caesar) people thought it was a great idea to tell others about the things that were happening in their town, with events, with their leaders etc. It was likely an effort to control or conform to standardized information. (Read more about: Why was the newspaper invented? At wiki.answers.com)

But where did the news take the turn into airing peoples dirty laundry? Telling everyone about some stars plastic surgery, how much money a person has, what property a rich person just purchased, what young woman just made the centerfold, what some housewife did to her neighbors flower bed..I mean the list of absurdities just goes on and on. No doubt its a good idea to let people know about a criminal that escaped from jail and is in their area or a rapist or murderer on the loose. Letting people know about the weather, earthquakes, floods and wildfires is definitely purposeful and useful. Highlighting a childs accomplishment with a school project. The condition of our planets health and utilizing affordable ways to preserve it. Or letting everyone know about a new medical breakthrough that does actually cure something without abunch of horrific side effects. Telling people about things that matter, such as, a bacterial viral outbreak in a local area, a new law that has been passed by congress, or where there is available work. Things that matter, that truly help the people and our society. For the betterment of all mankind. (Not to say that the news never talks about these things.) Theres just not enough of these things being talked about when compared to the other side of the coin. Why doesn't our news stations rely more on those topics and types of stories?

I'm sure there are alot of folks that don't even watch TV when they wake up. Alot of the times playing favorite music helps to maintain a better outlook towards the new day. Frankly there are some people that have come to the understanding that "..believing nothing that you hear and only half of what you see.." is probably the best way to think. Can't say I dissagree there. Perhaps its better living in the knowledge that 95% of what is on TV is actually not true. Here's an idea, why not just create a channel on TV thats just for absurd, gossip and useless news? Just have it run for 24 hours aday, 7days aweek. Those who want to watch it can and those who don't won't. That could work! That way our regular news stations could focus on news thats worth listening to instead of subjecting or exposing everyone to empty, useless news that is broadcasted because its on the news teleprompters. Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting the blame on the news anchorperson. They only work for the companies that broadcast the news and certainly at times they too probably think some of the news as being ridiculous or absurd.

What little authority they may have, the authority to say that a news item is ridiculous and not worth airing goes higher up. That blame goes to those overpaid executives and power hungry companies running the news stations, and they love those ratings which makes for alot of revenue. Whether the news is moral, true, sesationalized or horrendous. Is there really a choice? Then again when you think about it, if the public didn't really want to hear all the sensationalized horrendous and ridiculous news I guess it wouldn't be so popular. Hmmmm..which makes me wonder, even more so, about societies values and morals in general. I guess the next best thing we can do about it...is simply change the channel. Just saying. Enjoy the day.


Copyright(c)2012.News - Revenue and Ratings?Just What Are They Feeding Us? Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.

How Addiction Effects Our Life of Purpose.

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose" When I read this quote I realized that this is what everyone needs to live by in order to feel content, gratitude and happy about their lives. Having a purpose. When a human-being has no purpose in their lives they are much more susceptible to staying or becoming addicts. Be it drugs, alcohol, over-eating, over-shopping, to name a few. Everyone of us feels the need to have purpose, be needed, feel worthy, have approval, even being looked up to. When we lack those feelings we feel empty inside and we tend to "make up" (sort of speak) for that emptiness. We do that by developing habits. Some people develop good habits and some people develop bad habits. When we are addicts we need to stop the bad habit and replace it with a good habit. So its stand to reason that when a person doesn't have these emotional-tanks filled to some degree, they are more likely to fall off the path of staying clean and sober.

We must continue at all costs to strive to have purpose in our lives. It won't be given to us. With purpose we are given the air under our wings that lifts us up away from our unhealthy addictions. Why does having a life of purpose effect us so much? I did some research about this and found some very interesting facts about how "purpose" effects our brains. Because of our limbic system located in our brains. This part of our brain directs emotion and behavior. The limbic system sets the emotional tone of information before it reaches the cortex, where most of our thinking and learning takes place. Our limbic system interprets and directs emotions and behavior. Then these emotions are sent to the cortex where it is processed. When we have purpose in our lives we have emotions of fulfillment and contentment. This is a positive state of mind and our limbic system interprets this as positive information.

Which gives us a feeling of purpose and directs our behavior to achieve and meet our goals. Of course when our feelings get hurt or we have emotional trauma in our lives, it makes us feel unhappy as if we have no purpose at all. Especially when we have not learned how to cope with or deal with negative situations very well. These kinds of emotions can lead us to finding ways to comfort ourselves, over eat, self medicate or drink too much, to forget how we're really feeling. And this happens alot to alot of people. Now think for a moment just how using drugs, alcohol or overeating (which are the 3 most common forms of addiction) will effect us. First by using artificial stimulus (some-thing external that influences an activity such as drugs, alcohol, over eating) we end up saturating our brains due to the overflow of chemicals. Drugs, alcohol or overeating effect our brains by acting to enhance or interfere with the activity of neuro- transmitters and receptors within the synapses of the brain.

Our brains are made up of neurons ( aka nerves) so whatever drugs or chemicals we put into our bodies will get to our brains but the effects are destructive not productive. This is why after so many years of drug addiction, alcoholism or over eating the effects on our brains and bodies start to take over. We've all seen people that have been addicts for a long time and the abuse they subject their bodies to, the end results are unpleasant to see. Whenever you think about something, sense something or do something, what is happening at the level of the brain is that various neurons are sending information to one another concerning what you are thinking, sensing or doing. It is at the level of this inter-neuron communication that most drugs have their effects. Either by over stimulating or preventing proper function. So the idea that we are making ourselves feel better by continuing with an addiction is in reality a harmful and false state of mind. And we cause more damage to our brains than we truly know or want to admit to.

Because our addictive thinking has clouded our reasoning and doesn't want us to stop being addicts. It's a demon we have to fight in order to gain control over our health and quality of life. When you really think about how addictions effect your brain and body to this degree. You can build on that knowledge of how to start stopping your addiction. We all know that addiction isn't good for us. But when we step back and see the true damage and we learn how our addictions really hurt us and how it disrupts our lives. We can then see that it's up to us as an individual to stop blaming everyone and everything else, take responsibility for your actions and to get the help
needed to stop being an addict. To allow ourselves to gain control and achieve a positive lifestyle, state of mind and a happier life. It is only when the addict can addmit they have this problem, they can't fix it alone and they reach out for help that they are truly on the path to recovery. We can then understand the true meaning of "getting high on life!"  Enjoy the day.

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  Copyright(c)2011-2012. How Addiction Effects Our Life of Purpose. Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

What Can I Do About CRAVINGS or TRIGGERS?

Steps for Dealing With the Triggers That Lead You Back to Your Addiction

Get off the Addiction Ride to No Where!

Ok, you've made your choice. You've decided to stop using drugs or drinking alcohol. You believe in going to meetings for support, you read all the material written about addictions, you've decided to stay away from friends that use or drink and you're determined, this time, to make it. To not be an addict any longer. You want to wake up feeling good about living without having to pop a pill or take a drink of alcohol. Things are going ok, but could be better. You still have the "CRAVING MONSTER" on your back. You come into situations, whether negative or positive, that use to be triggers that made you use or drink before. Whether it is a happy time, a cook-out event, visiting relatives or friends, you use to have a drink, pop a pill, snort or shoot your drug of choice. But now you have to deal with these events without falling back on your addiction. It sucks! It's hard, but you tell yourself you're not going to give into those cravings or triggers. Sometimes when we are deciding to truly stop using or drinking, we fear knowing that we will have withdrawal symptoms, we think that we can't survive without our drug or drink of choice. We miss and desire that first hit feeling we get when we use or drink. It's very powerful. This is where we face our demon. Whether it's drugs or alcohol, we have to face this craving and deal with it properly. How many times have you had that strong craving for either your drug or drink of choice, even after a long time of being clean or sober?

"I'm not giving into this craving!"

You've been thru detox, you've been weaned off of your drugs or alcohol, you're clean, sober, straight, dry however you call it. So why are you still experiencing these cravings? Sometimes it's so strong that you think you'll fall back into your addiction. Sometimes people do. But you are at the end of your rope of using or drinking. You want the desire for this addiction gone! What can you do? When you crave your drugs or drink, you need to deal with the craving quickly. If you don't you can find yourself right back in the same chaos of using or drinking again. Feeling this craving, desire, hunger for, compulsion doesn't mean you have to give into it. You can start by reducing the things you use to do that would always be a trigger for you to use or drink. You will have to stay away from certain places and friends that influence you to stay in the addictive behavior. A true friend would not try to make you use or drink, when they know you're trying to quit. Cravings happen to everyone when they are changing their addictive ways into non-addictive ways. But they do eventually stop being so over bearing. By getting into things that are positive influences for you is another way to curb cravings and triggers. Start by developing a healthier outlook towards your life. Start by learning to live a more balanced life. Remember this most of all. Just because you have a craving or you come into a trigger moment, doesn't mean you have to use or drink. You don't have to give into it. Change your behavior and you'll change the addiction.

"I'm so glad you spoke with me...I feel better now."

If you have a sponser call them right away for support. They can be very helpful to you. If you go to meetings, get to one. Find comfort from your spouse or good friends, just talking about how you're feeling can help the craving subside. The power of prayer can help. Take a moment to recall all of the problems you have had because you were drunk or too high. Occupy your mind with something fun that doesn't involve using or drinking. Play a game with your children, go to a park and run thru the exercise routines along the path. Go see a movie you're interested in watching. Play tennis, go swimming. Get into playing a sport like baseball or bowling and go play. Paint that area in your home thats in need of a lift. Rearrange your furniture. Take a hot shower or bath. Whatever you choose to do that can help you to take your mind off of that craving. Learn to fall back on those things instead of giving into your craving. You'll find that when you stick with this method it really does work. Because cravings are fleeting. Exercising is a perfect way to get rid of cravings. Because exercising releases chemicals in our brains such as Endorphin, which helps to decrease stress, gives us a euphoric feeling, and helps to decrease appetite(for those trying to lose weight)and improves our immunity system. Serotonin is another neurochemical released in our brains when we exercise. It is a natural mood enhancer and decreases symptoms of depression. BDNF aka brain derived neurotrophic factor also released into the brain when we exercise. It has been shown to help reduce the symptoms of depression and also enhance brain health and memory.

There are many other ways to feel good naturally without having to use a chemical or drink alcohol. Think of all the things you can do sober. Its also a hell of alot healthier for us. Over time people are successful and they find their own strategies for dealing with their cravings and triggers, and you can too. But when we first start out it would be better for us to have support from others that have been there and done that, and are now no longer addicts. Thats the main goal. You want to no longer be an addict. You want to find ways to overcome your cravings and triggers. I guarantee you this, if you truly want to no longer be an addict, by following the above advice, it will work, if you just give it a chance to work for you. After all when you can wake up everyday and start your day without having to use or drink. You face the day with a positive outlook. You feel good physically and emotionally. You can handle the routine of life-pressures that will always be there. You know you are able to handle life on a clean, sober, capable, positive mind. When you know you don't need or want to drink or use any longer, its a thing of the past. Then you'll know you can handle your cravings and triggers. With each day that goes by, you get stronger and those cravings and triggers get weaker. You gain control over yourself. You are truly happy and grateful. Take it one day at a time. You can do it. Enjoy the day.



For other inspirational reading visit: http://myselfselfhelp.blogspot.com
Read more about the benefits of Exercise at: http://www.livestrong.com/article/320144-does-exercise-release-a-chemical-in-the-brain/#ixzz1c2e6POQr


Copyright(c)2011.What Can I Do About CRAVINGS or TRIGGERS? Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Empty Nest Syndrome - How do we handle the anxiety?

A friend tells me of a situation that she finds herself going through. Actually its probably more of a life changing event. She has 2 children that have reached adulthood and they are embarking on setting out on their own. One will go to college and the other starts a new job at an advertising company. They will be moving away from home. It all sounds great for the children and we wish them the best success in their lives. Off they go..to their own lives. My friend, we'll call her Amanda, is now finding herself waking up everyday without the sounds of activity in the home. As a matter of fact there are no sounds at all inside. With the exception of the cat meowing for her morning meal.

Amanda grabs her coffee and is looking outside. She is almost in a numb state-of-mind because for her, this is her first day of living with her empty-nest syndrome. For alot of mothers(and dads too)this can make you feel alittle lost for awhile, which is completely normal. Of course some parents look forward to having their home back to themselves. Which reclaims a sort of individual independence, which is healthy too. But I believe that even so, there is still a part of each mother(and dad)that will miss hearing all of that noise, the music coming from their room, making sure they eat something for breakfast before they leave the house. Picking clothes up off the floor, sharing special moments with each child, that quality time is so important, even for just a few moments, knowing the smells of their rooms, making sure they have some spending money(if you can)and so many other facets that came along with a full nest.

A breif description of: Empty Nest Syndrome by Wikipedia states: Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of loneliness that parents or guardians may feel when one or more of their children leave home; it is more common in women. The marriage of a child can lead to similar feelings, with the role and influence of the parents often becoming less important compared to the new spouse. A strong maternal or paternal bond between the parent and child can make the condition worse. The role of the parent while the child is still living with them is more hands-on and immediate than is possible when they have moved out, particularly if the distance means that visits are difficult. This will also vary from culture to culture. In some cultures children take care of their parents until they pass away. The syndrome takes its name from bird nesting habits.

So what can we do to help relieve some of the emotional anxiety that accompanies empty-nest syndrome? Here are some strategies that will help. First if you're in a relation ship, you may want to take a good look at your relationship i.e. where will the relationship go from here? Make new goals and plans together that can enrich your bond with your partner. You've spent the last 2 decades taking care of your family, now its time to find yourselves and each other again. Activity is paramount, its so important to develop an exercise routine, bike riding, fishing, hiking, tennis, things you can do with your partner. Plus eating a healthy diet i.e. fruits and veggies(if you don't already do this)along with exercise is incredibly beneficial and you will live healthier and longer.

Pick up the Passion with each other. Make the time to rekindle that romantic side with each other. You've been so busy with family, you haven't really made any special time for just the two of you. Rekindle that romantic side. Plan a cruise, have romantic dinners once or twice a month, go to a resort somewhere. And a very important thing to do is just for yourself, make some "by yourself time." It's important to have some time to do what you like to do by yourself. Maybe start a hobby, create some art, do some thing that is constructive that you enjoy doing. Something that gives you a sense of accomplishment once you've completed it. Even though the children are gone, there is no need to smother each other. Alone time is essential for maintaining a healthy, positive outlook.

I believe at any age, when we participate in activity with children, whether briefly or longterm, it brings out the best in us and makes us better human beings. Enjoy the day!




Copyright(c)2011.Empty Nest Syndrome-How do we handle the anxiety?Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Weightloss?...This is a Lifestyle Change.

I was watching one of those tv-infomercials the other morning about exercising to lose weight. I couldn't help notice how hard the narrator was trying to get the point across of how much weight you could lose. They would show a woman that was about 5'4", 200lbs. and after just 3 months of using this certain exercise video, she lost 65lbs. Really??... For anyone of us out there trying to lose weight, (who isn't?), please don't stress out over the bs these informercials try to shove down our throats.  Just 3 months huh? 

It'll take most of us 3 months just to get the routine down, let alone doing the routine as coordinated and as fast as they show in the informercial. Believe me I know, I've tried. Plus...why is it that they only show young people?  I mean don't things start heading south after age 40?...Geez!  Ok I'm getting off my point here. Back to the point I'm trying to make. I know in this world everyone is trying to make money using those not too realistic infomercials and advertising. But come on, surely you know that most of those products don't do half of what they state. Plus some of those products are too expensive.

So what can we do to lose the weight and not lose our minds in the process?  For one, with the availability of computers and technology, we have access to all sorts of information. Thats the one thing we should take advantage of here. Taking a few minutes to obtain information about the things that can help us achieve what we are setting out to achieve. If you can afford to go to a dietician, then go get accessed and work out an eating plan that works for you. On the way home, DO NOT stop by the local store for any snacks. One thing I've learned in my journey of losing this middle-aged alien fat is we have to work on what works for us.

If you just listen to all these exercise guru's that tell you 10 different things, you will surely get discouraged. Although we all have the same body parts, inside our bodies can be very different from each other. Due to our bodies make up and our emotional state of mind. Metabolsm, heredity, ability to burn fat, motivation, attitude etc. It's not like you can go on a diet, exercise for a few months when you're feeling up to it and achieve the body shape you're looking for. You have to realize that this is a lifestyle change NOT a short journey.   

You can't do a lifestyle change for a few months. It's exactly what it says it is..."life style."  Look at what you're eating. Ask yourself, do I eat too much fried foods?  Am I stopping by too many fast food restaurants for a quick lunch? Do you tell yourself, "I don't have the time to make a healthy lunch."  Really??... Well ask yourself this, "How much do I care about my health now, in 10, 20, or 30 years from now?"  Are you one of those people that say, "Awww, I'll worry about 10, 20, or 30 years from now when I get there." Well guess what?  Everything you do for your bodies health now...will benefit you greatly in those 10 to 30 years from now.

That's right. If you change to eating healthy, learn about those foods that burn fat, increases the metabolism, foods that help prevent deseases, don't eat fried foods, eat brightly colored veggies and fruits, stop eating at those fast food restaurants, you won't only add years to your life span, you'll add healthy years.  Of course this is not an easy task. So start with changing how you see yourself. Learn to love and respect yourself. When I look at myself in the mirror, which I'm not particularly fond of doing, I see that I need to keep working at my body. I know I have a few more pounds to lose, I'm not bathing suit ready.

But the difference is my attitude about myself has changed.  I no longer look away in discouragement or disgust. I look and see some improvement, some weight loss and I smile. I tell myself I'm doing good, I'm feeling better about me, and thats what I hold on to, that keeps me motivated. Oh and if I were you, get into the habit of not using the bathroom scale. As you get into exercising regularly you'll start to build muscle and muscle weighs more than fat, so if you step on the scale and you've gained instead of lost weight but you've been working your food program and exercising regularly, don't despair. 

As your routine gets more involved and your body starts to respond to your new lifestyle, you'll see the changes in your body, it won't happen overnight, but it does come. Without a doubt, your body will change and you will lose that excess weight.  But remember, be fair to yourself, don't have unrealistic expectations about how long a period of time it will take. Experience shows when we commit to ourselves and we are determined to achieve what we have set out to do, things have a way of working in our favor. So what ever you do, don't stop. It's when things seem their toughest that we must not give up.  Enjoy the day!

Written by: Sherrie Vitello