Peace and Procrastination - A Matter Of Our Thoughts

"The way to be at peace is to discover how to be happy in any situation"

 

Finding a way to be happy in any situation or event in our lives is key to having peace in our lives. The way to be at peace is to discover how to be happy in any situation we find ourselves in. Not constantly trying to change everything and everyone to make it match your idea of perfect. You may think that would make you happy but that never works.  Because life is not perfect and you are setting yourself up to be disappointed which leads to not feeling at peace with yourself. 

 

Its our own thoughts that make or break our being at peace in our lives.  Because no matter how perfect we believe everything is you will still have all of your own thoughts.  So its changing how we think about the situation or events in our lives that will decide how at peace we truly can be.  If you always procrastinate about doing something that needs to be done and you keep putting it off, think about what thoughts are going through your mind about doing what needs to get done at that moment. 

 

Are you thinking about how you dislike having to do what needs to be done?  Are you telling yourself you don't want to do what needs to be done?  And to make yourself feel better, or at least you think it does, you distract yourself by doing something you like to do instead?  It could be watching a movie, eating, playing video games, going on the internet, shopping, going to a park or meeting up with friends. 

You tell yourself you will do it another time and believing that you are in control of your life you go for that power thought?  STOP! Right there those thoughts you are having is the reason why you procrastinate which leads to not feeling really at peace with yourself.  You think yourself right out of doing what is in need of being done.

 

Not to say that other activities are bad things, but when we put off what needs to be done and go for these other options which are actually distractions, we end up not doing what needs to be done and we place it on the back burner of our minds.  We put it off to be looked at later on.  So what happened here?  You know you had something to do and you may not really have wanted to do it even though it has to be done.  You thought to yourself that you could do it later and so you opted in for another activity instead.  But you always come back to knowing that you still need to do what needs to be done.  

 

This thought resurfaces itself and floats around in or minds even if for a few quick seconds it begins to weigh on our minds.  Its what I call a loose-end.  Loose-ends form together and become a mental ball and chain which in turn keep resurfacing because our brains keep reminding us of the things we need to do and this makes us uneasy, unfulfilled and not at peace within ourselves.  Once you start catching yourself thinking negatively about what needs to be done stop yourself and flip it to a positive thought instead. i.e. "..once I get this done I'll feel like I have accomplished something and it will make me happy and proud of myself.."  or you may think "..once I have finished what needs to be done I can do something that I really enjoy doing.." 

 

Once you start nurturing your thought process into thinking more positively about your life and all of the things in it, you will see that things are not as difficult as they seem and you will feel more free minded and at peace with your thoughts and your life.  Remember its key to notice what you are thinking and how you think about things that will make all the difference in how at peace or how much turmoil you create in your life.  Its your choice, plain and simple.  Enjoy the day.    

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright(c)2016. Peace and Procrastination - A Matter Of Our Thoughts.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All rights reserved.

 



 

TRUST - Is it Given or is it Earned?

Trust. Some would say its an emotion while others may say its a logical reference in how we feel towards another person. Then some would say it is both. But what and where does it actually stem from. When we meet someone new some people will use their first impression of that person as their directive to trust that person or not. No doubt sometimes those first impression are very accurate. We tend not to trust people right away. Then there is the other side to that. We may think that someone is not to be trusted or they seem unpleasant when in reality, this person has just lost a loved one, or perhaps they are having financial problems or someone just robbed their house, you get my drift. When these things happen to us none of us feel really good at that moment. Sometimes it can take a few days for the negative feelings to pass. Unless its down right obvious I don't think first impressions hold much worth when it comes to making a permanent conclusion about a person. When we trust ourselves we can trust others. This occurs because we know we will be alright even if that trust we've given to someone else was a let down.

Iyanla VanSant defines this perfectly when she wrote the following in her book: Until Today!  She states: "Trust is based on your ability to stand your ground and rely on your own abilities, knowing that no matter what happens, you will be better off than you were at the beginning.  Anything less than this is not trust."  Just think about that for a moment. That is a perfect definition of trust. So what about that saying; "trust is not a given, trust is earned."  Some would declare that statement as the holy grail saying for trust.  It is very accurate, no doubt. When we meet a person we tend not to trust them for fear of being lied to, let down or hurt by them.  We automatically grab hold of that holy grail saying in order to shield ourselves.  Our apprehension to trust is rooted on feelings of insecurity and ego.  While our ability to trust is founded in feelings of safety and acceptance. So when those lines are crossed we are left with emotional wounds that scar over to create a tuff emotional shield which we rely on to protect us over and over again. What happens when we rely on this shield is it tends to also create a distrust within ourselves.  The soul essence that we call trust resides within us. We decide to trust and what we have decided to believe is reflected.

Rhino represents fear, uncertainty, untrust.
Child represents all of us. Children of the
universe. 

We tend to be so wrapped up in ourselves, so self referencing, so insecure that we are driven to protect our ego's without question.  While instead we should allow and embrace trusting.  As we learn to trust more within ourselves we grow and become more confident, sure footed and above all happy.  There should always be a balance of trust that we give and trust that is earned.  In keeping to this balance it allows us to experience true essence of trust and to deflect the negatives that mistrust can cause us.  One thing is for sure there is most likely more positive experiences to come about when we trust ourselves and when we allow ourselves to trust others. When we feed our own trust and allow it to present itself, it will flourish in our lives and our spirit.  While on the other hand if we feed our own trust with poison of negativity, fear, resentment, then our trust will crust over and harden. Which will in turn lead us through our lives with fear, no base of assurance and no true self love or true happiness.  Because our thoughts create form on some level within. All that our physical experience is, is the reflection of our thoughts.  Enjoy the day.  

Copyright(c)2015. TRUST - Is it Given or is it Earned?Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.  

You Deserve To Be Good To Yourself.

Why do so many people forget to be good to themselves? Do they think they don't have time to be good to themselves? Do they think they don't deserve it or maybe they just don't know how to be good to themselves? Being good to yourself, although thought by many, to mean obtaining something material, is having acceptance about who you are as an individual. Letting go of stereotyping by others. The true art of being good to yourself is acceptance. You know all about the responsibilities you have everyday. You work hard towards a better life for you and your family. You are aware of what you have to do to survive, and that can be difficult sometimes. You wake up everyday and take care of all of the things that keeps your lifestyle in check. You may have struggles, you may worry, you may have absurdities arise on occasion. Alot of people have to run a household, with children and partners. You have bills to pay, shopping for home supplies. Budgeting your money is like trying to cover a 10 foot space with an 6 foot peice of material. You stretch it as far as it will go. When you're driving alone or you're at home alone, you sometimes take a breath and exhale. You wonder how everything seems to work out and how you do all of this without losing your mind. At that moment, when you feel like that, say to your self  

"Wow..I've made it through another week. Things aren't as bad as they seem. I've done a good job."

Patting yourself on the back when you've done so much is good. Its alright to acknowledge that you have done a good job! For some people treating themselves to something they've wanted for a long time is another way they like to be good to themselves. If its affordable taking that trip to that beautiful place you've always wanted to go to is a wonderful idea. Going somewhere you've always wanted to go can refresh and replenish your soul and spirit. Just getting away from the usual routine is of benefit to all of us. Buying that pretty dress you've had your eye on or purchasing that beautiful painting you saw can give a person a sense of gratification and fullfillment. Even something as simple as a nice warm moisturizing bath, your favorite music and a moment of private peace is so rewarding. But beyond these material things we have to be able to be accepting of who we are individually. How we feel about ourselves, inside, is what truly gives us peace and happiness. How we are and how we feel when we are alone is really the measurement of our character. How do we feel when we are by ourselves, where no one can see us. A person of genuine character or personality can recognize within themselves an inner peace or calmness. Learning to settle the anxious mind is key to having an even tempered mind set. There are so many variables for ways of having a calm and zen like state of mind. This topic will only cover a few. By reading and putting into action affirmations and lifestyle changes anyone can learn to be good to themselves and have inner peace.

Having and applying a positive outlook, not only is a way for us to be good to ourselves, it will help us to achieve more in our lives just by sheer will of thought. Although we can't control all things, most of the time, we can control what takes place in our minds. Like the captain of your own ship, you choose to sail calm waters or you choose to sail into stormy seas. If we keep allowing undesireable situations to be apart of our lives, then undesireable circumstances is what you will find yourself in. It is that simple. Being good to yourself is a 'learning in progress' scenario. We never really stop learning in our lifetime. When we learn how to love and except ourselves we are open to love and excepting others. We also learn not to allow others to tear us down due to their own inadequacies. Creating a world how you want it to be for yourself is a lifestyle. This doesn't mean you don't have people in your life, of course you do. It means that you live your life in a manner that is good and positive and inturn that which you have created will resignate to others in and around your life in that same positive manner. Although negatives will always rear their ugly heads, its how we react to negative situations that will make the difference in our own lives. No one likes negative situations and we do our best not to have them happen. Unfortunately negative things will occur when we least expect it. Whatever you do, don't fly off the handle. Be good to yourself and stop, think, then speak. The best way to handle most negative situations is to defuse it. Look for ways to resolve things with a positive outcome. Once you do this, not only will you feel good about the outcome, you'll feel good about yourself and your life because you've created something positive out of something negative. That in itself is rewarding.

We see it all of the time, people in situations that make themselves so unhappy. Which can cause them to lead unhealthy and negative lifestyles. The key to happiness in not just having abunch of material things, its much more than that. Each of us are only given so much time on this planet. No one knows when their time will be up. What matters is what we do with the time we are given. No one really knows what happens after we die. If there is a 'heaven' and a 'hell' we sure don't want to live a life that will cause us to go to hell. So it stands to reason to live as good and positive as possible and share that with others, as much as we can. When we are good to ourselves, we shine, we feel positive, we have a essence of calmness, inner strength and peace that permeates to others around us. In a world with so much negativity its difficult to always hold on to a positive mind set. But so long as we choose not to allow the negatives to take hold, we can be good to ourselves and carry on with a happy way of living. You deserve to live a happy life, you deserve to be good to yourself. Enjoy the day.

Copyright(c)2012. You Deserve To Be Good To Yourself. By Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Empty Nest Syndrome - How do we handle the anxiety?

A friend tells me of a situation that she finds herself going through. Actually its probably more of a life changing event. She has 2 children that have reached adulthood and they are embarking on setting out on their own. One will go to college and the other starts a new job at an advertising company. They will be moving away from home. It all sounds great for the children and we wish them the best success in their lives. Off they go..to their own lives. My friend, we'll call her Amanda, is now finding herself waking up everyday without the sounds of activity in the home. As a matter of fact there are no sounds at all inside. With the exception of the cat meowing for her morning meal.

Amanda grabs her coffee and is looking outside. She is almost in a numb state-of-mind because for her, this is her first day of living with her empty-nest syndrome. For alot of mothers(and dads too)this can make you feel alittle lost for awhile, which is completely normal. Of course some parents look forward to having their home back to themselves. Which reclaims a sort of individual independence, which is healthy too. But I believe that even so, there is still a part of each mother(and dad)that will miss hearing all of that noise, the music coming from their room, making sure they eat something for breakfast before they leave the house. Picking clothes up off the floor, sharing special moments with each child, that quality time is so important, even for just a few moments, knowing the smells of their rooms, making sure they have some spending money(if you can)and so many other facets that came along with a full nest.

A breif description of: Empty Nest Syndrome by Wikipedia states: Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of loneliness that parents or guardians may feel when one or more of their children leave home; it is more common in women. The marriage of a child can lead to similar feelings, with the role and influence of the parents often becoming less important compared to the new spouse. A strong maternal or paternal bond between the parent and child can make the condition worse. The role of the parent while the child is still living with them is more hands-on and immediate than is possible when they have moved out, particularly if the distance means that visits are difficult. This will also vary from culture to culture. In some cultures children take care of their parents until they pass away. The syndrome takes its name from bird nesting habits.

So what can we do to help relieve some of the emotional anxiety that accompanies empty-nest syndrome? Here are some strategies that will help. First if you're in a relation ship, you may want to take a good look at your relationship i.e. where will the relationship go from here? Make new goals and plans together that can enrich your bond with your partner. You've spent the last 2 decades taking care of your family, now its time to find yourselves and each other again. Activity is paramount, its so important to develop an exercise routine, bike riding, fishing, hiking, tennis, things you can do with your partner. Plus eating a healthy diet i.e. fruits and veggies(if you don't already do this)along with exercise is incredibly beneficial and you will live healthier and longer.

Pick up the Passion with each other. Make the time to rekindle that romantic side with each other. You've been so busy with family, you haven't really made any special time for just the two of you. Rekindle that romantic side. Plan a cruise, have romantic dinners once or twice a month, go to a resort somewhere. And a very important thing to do is just for yourself, make some "by yourself time." It's important to have some time to do what you like to do by yourself. Maybe start a hobby, create some art, do some thing that is constructive that you enjoy doing. Something that gives you a sense of accomplishment once you've completed it. Even though the children are gone, there is no need to smother each other. Alone time is essential for maintaining a healthy, positive outlook.

I believe at any age, when we participate in activity with children, whether briefly or longterm, it brings out the best in us and makes us better human beings. Enjoy the day!




Copyright(c)2011.Empty Nest Syndrome-How do we handle the anxiety?Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

The Out Of Our Control Worry - How do we deal?

Along with everything else that all of us human beings have to worry about in our daily lives is the haunting yet very real fact that the world around us is going through some changes. I'm talking about what's going on with our planet. It's what I call 'Out of Our Control Worry.' The worry about things that we can only do very little or nothing to change or prevent from occurring. I look at the news every morning and there always seems to be some form of disaster that has taken place somewhere on our beautiful planet. Some caused by mankind, no doubt, but alot of these occurrences are created by nature. Tornadoes, Tsunamis, Earthquakes, Volcano erruptions, Floods(altho' this can be attributed to the altering of water ways with dams and dikes.)

Scientists are telling us due to our polluting of the atmosphere, that our ozone layer is breaking down. People are starving. War and rumors of war. Mankind continues to overpopulate parts of the world without having the means to care properly for their offspring. All of these things can weigh on our minds and even make us feel upset, stressed, sad or depressed. I'm not going to sugar coat this and tell you that it'll all be alright, no one really knows the outcome of our future, except this, if mankind doesn't get their act together with the planet, we will not survive the outcome. Sounds awful doesn't it? For those who are familiar with the writings of Revelations, these are all the signs of the times. The four horsemen are riding strong in a metaphoric sense.  

For more information on the planets most polluted places read it at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blacksmith_Institute#World.27s_Worst_Polluted_Places_ReportsList of the World's Worst Polluted Places. It's interesting reading.  

Now no one likes to hear or read about all of these awful things taking place on our planet, who has the time to worry about them? The thing is that even though alot of folks will not watch the news about all of these terrible events, the thought of knowing they exist still weighs on our minds. Whether we realize it or not. We just don't bring those thoughts and worries to the forefront of our conscience thinking. How does that effect our emotions, attitudes, outlook and thoughts? If we live by the saying 'Out of sight, Out of mind' then perhaps that gives us alittle reprieve. Which is a good thing for us. Afterall we all can't walk around moping and feeling awful right?

It stands to reason that if we continue about our lives with a positive outlook, things are better for us. No matter what may be going on around us. Of course if there is any way to help to preserve our lands, nature and the planet then we should always work towards that. I would like to grow old knowing that our children and their children and so on, will do all in their power to protect and preserve our planet. When everyone lends a hand in helping this cause, it can only help to sustain a better world. But we all have to contribute, even in the smallest ways. Whether it's recycling, converting water into energy, lowering green house effects, stopping the pollution of our skies etc. every little bit helps our planet. Remember..we only have one earth.

I once read a story a long time ago that has stuck in my mind forever and I still apply it especially today. Altho' there may be various but similar writings of it, the meaning is the same. It says; an angel came upon a man hoeing his garden and the man appeared happy in his work, the angel asked the man. "What would you do if the world was going to end tommorrow?" The man replied; "...continue hoeing my garden." Those are words to live by. And that's what I'll leave with you on how to deal with the out of our control worry. Enjoy the day!

Written by Sherrie Vitello





Copyright(c)2011.The Out Of Our Control Worry. By Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Toilet-Time Variables - A Positve or Negative Emotional Effect.

Upon overhearing a strange discussion the other day about how much time should be spent taking care of business on the throne, I thought how I've hardly read anything written up on the subject. Has there been any medical studies on this? Since we have freedom to write on practically any topic..why not? So I decided to find out what I could on the matter and I wanted to share the surprising results with you all. Let me put this as delicately as possible. OK... the question is then posed: "How much time should a person take, on the toilet?" Should there be variables on time?

After doing some research on this subject, besides the obvious, I found out that people have many reasons as to what they do and why they spend a certain amount of time on the all mighty throne, john, loo, toilet or commode. Plus considering technology today, i.e. laptops, playbooks, tablets, MP3's, PSP's, Smartphones, its no wonder people will utilize time spent in the bathroom or even take alittle more time to play with these devices or even to do some quick tasks. Would playing video games, listening to music or doing a business task have a positive effect on us? I believe it could.

Actually, I had no idea that there was so many different types and styles of toilets in the world. Some were simple while some were extravagant. Some toilets came in small stalls that made you feel like you were in a tiny capsule. Some came in huge bathrooms the size of a person's living room or bigger. I started to get flushed about all of this(no pun intended)but I was fascinated about it at the same time. For some people time on the toilet allows them some quiet time, to think about their day, what plans they have, what they'll be doing on the weekend or something about their work. So here I would think that time spent on the toilet is positive.

But we probably shouldn't sit in that position too long due to our legs would fall asleep. Then you'd be stuck there until you figured out how to pull yourself up to your feet, which would make you late for work or an appointment. Then you might be missed by your supervisor or worse, the boss, and you'd have to explain why you were late..it just keeps snowballing into a nightmare LOL! Anyway, some people spend time on the toilet reading a book, magazine, doing crosswords or book puzzles, in an attempt to create a few moments of quiet time. Which I would think is a positive way to relax our minds, ponder a thought, even briefly meditate. For some people spending time on the toilet is a way for them to escape the hustle of the day.

Probably a good thing to do once in awhile. I found that some people felt safe in the bathroom even public rest rooms held a sense of security for some. Why is it called a bathroom at home and a restroom in public? Because many people use the restroom to do their business and freshen up? How can a person "freshen up" in a public restroom? Thoughts and questions keep spinning in my head about this. OK, back to my point. I've been in public restrooms, who hasn't, and frankly when I walk in there, I don't care how sterile it looks, I feel like I've just entered a petri-dish full of bacteria. You can bet I clean the seat and then place paper on it.

I don't even touch the door handle when entering or leaving, I use my elbows when possible. Germaphobic? Maybe. So in this example of using the toilet in a public restroom, although I'm glad to find one when I need it, I get in and out as fast as I can. I don't think this is a positive place to spend too much time in. Besides the lighting is just awful showing all our imperfections."Don't forget to wash your hands before you leave." Do you think people who spend time on the toilet are more relaxed or less stressed than others? Hm... Or are we less stressed just by getting in there and doing our business and getting out? Some times we have to just get in and out quick. Would going about it rushed or quickly as possible, have any negative effects on us?

Are we better for doing it that way or taking a little time for ourselves? So many questions, so little time. What about when you're at work? I believe most people are most likely to spend less time on the toilet. Due to most people work with others so the restroom is more likely to be utilized by more people more often. Unless you're lucky enough to have that restroom that's sort of hidden and not too many use it. I would think consideration would come into play here. So don't spend as much time in there as you would at home and don't forget to spray!

Here's an interesting fact: Scotland docked their workers' wages for the time they spend in the loo.(restroom.) The workers' union TGWU objected after the 200 staff were issued with smart cards that deduct their pay for the time they're away from the factory floor.

"..Oh crap!.."

All in all I discovered that when we spend a few moments on the toilet it has more positive effects on us than negative. But because most of us are so busy with our lives, work, family, friends etc. we tend to overlook this opportunity to take a few short moments to just ease our minds. If we do that it would make our bodily-function easier on us which would be healthier too. If we release toxins from our bodies why not from our minds. So if you're the type of person that is always in a rush, get in, get out, do yourself a favor and the next time you have to use the toilet remember to take a moment to relax your body and your mind. You'll see that your day will become less stressful which is a good thing all the way around. Enjoy the day!




(Please note that this article is not intended to gross anyone out, it's intention is to bring to light the positive and negative effects of spending time in the bathroom. Respectfully, plain and simple. Comments are welcome.)

Copyright (c) 2011.Toilet-Time Variables - A Positive or Negative Emotional Effect. By SherrieVitello. All Rights Reserved.