Our Brains - Friend, Foe or Both?

Let me ask you a question. How often do we tell ourselves things aren't always what we think they are? In other words, there are times when our own brains just think about things so out of context that we have to tell it to be quiet. Although our brains are great at analytical things and things that require deduction or finding answers, where do we draw the line between when we should listen to our brains and when we should tell it to shut up? Here's what I mean by that. Have you ever thought about something that you may not feel too sure about and your brain starts running through a scenario of outcomes? Sometimes these outcomes are so ridiculous, maybe even frightening, that you close your eyes for a few seconds in an effort to stop thinking about it? Or the brain could be thinking of positive outcomes but you don't buy into them completely because things could turn out completely opposite of what you thought? This is what I've come to know as thought pattern displacement. I was told by someone a long time ago NOT to listen to my brain. At that time, I didn't understand, or maybe didn't want to understand what that meant. But as time has gone on and I've gained wisdom, patience and my thinking has grown wiser, I do understand that very well. And its very true too. 

Think of it this way. Within each of us we have 4 raw forms of how we think, come to decisions, decipher and choose our outcomes for our lives. They are our brains, our hearts, our gut feelings and our spiritual beliefs be them through religion or spirituality. These 4 forms make up who we are, how we make decisions and how we live our lives. What I've come to find is our brains are not always our friend. Our brains, besides being a brilliant thinking mass, has the capacity to destroy our self confidence or build our self image with just thoughts. It can even create the outcome of our lives. How we think and what we think are the components of what we make happen in our daily lives. That saying "..our thoughts create our lives.." is more true than we know. When someone says something negative about you. You are the key factor as to how you will allow this negative comment to effect your entire day, effect how you feel and even the outcome of how you see yourself. Unless you are an unfeeling narcissist, you most likely will feel some kind of feelings about what has been said. We could just let go of it, which is probably the best way to handle it. But for some thats not so easy to do. We certainly can't allow others to direct how we should feel. But most importantly we can't allow our brains to fall into the depths of imagination of self doubt, uncertainty or feelings of inadequacy because of it.

Some of the best ways we can help ourselves is by reminding ourselves of all of our inner strengths. The experiences we've gotten through in our lives, our achievements-no matter how small they all count. When the brain starts to think in negative ways, for every negative thought about yourself think of an opposite positive one. It may help you to write it down. Even though this may be difficult to accomplish at times, the more you do that the better you get at it. When things aren't going right for you, take a moment to ask yourself; "what is the lesson I should be learning here?" This is a way we can self examine ourselves and even gain strength within and change the way our brains can think. Now grant it, there will be times when you can't help how you feel. Unkind and hard times can stir up negative patterns, its just the way life is. But its how we handle those moments and how we think about them that makes all the difference in how it affects us and how we will feel. Our thoughts create our lives. We are affected by others only when we allow negative people and unhappy circumstances to affect our thoughts about ourselves. If you're a person that feels like the thoughts your brain creates are making you feel unhappy, its time to re-evaluate your thinking and begin to think differently. Don't become hostage of self sabotaging thoughts that hold you back from discovering what you are capable of achieving and who you truly are. Believe in yourself.


            Copyright(c)2015-2019. Our Brains - Friend, Foe or Both? Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

How We Handle Anger Matters

 

An old Japanese tale goes,  a belligerent samurai once challenged a Zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell.  But the monk replied with scorn, "you're nothing but a lout...I can't waste my time with the likes of you!"  His very honor attacked, the samurai flew into a rage and pulling his sword from it's scabbard, yelled, "I could kill you for your impertinence!"  That, the monk calmly replied, is hell. Startled at seeing the truth in what the master pointed out about the fury that had him in it's grip, the samurai calmed down, sheathed his sword, and bowed, thanking the monk for his insight.  And that, said the monk...is heaven.

Anger is a trap. When we allow ourselves to dissolve into fury, we do damage to our soul and spirit.  Anger can come upon you suddenly, like a flash.  And you are engaged because it is a trap. It is a trap of the sinister force, the forces of darkness and it is a trap we lay for ourselves because we don't deliver ourselves from the dweller-on-the-threshold.
(The dweller-on-the-threshold is a term used to designate the anti-self, the not-self, the anti-thesis of the real self.)

But the will and the determination, the surrender and the consciousness of wrestling with ourselves to get rid of those points of darkness, that's something only we can do.  Taming the wild horse of anger. We all remember times when we were angry or completely lost our temper.
At other times perhaps we were seething with anger, altho' we didn't express it directly.  Some of us believe our anger is a good thing, and furthermore, you may feel better after you've yelled it out.  Frankly it gives me a headache after I exert anger.

Perhaps you see nothing wrong with venting anger.  Yet when we understand how energy works, we realize that angry vibes(made even more powerful when we yell them) are explosive energy.  It's an emotional bomb that disrupts clear reasoning.  And the aftermath of negative vibes doesn't just go away.  It keeps us in a grumbly mood, pollutes the atmosphere and impacts people around us. 

Most people don't like those vibes one bit.  They usually forget the point we were trying to make midst the fury.  Think of one of those times in your life when you were seething with anger.  Then ask yourself, "What was I angry about?  How did I express it?"  Now remember a time that you wouldn't say you were angry but you felt irritated, disgusted, annoyed or frustrated.  When you look deeper, you'll discover that those feelings are simply variations of the theme, they all track back to anger.

Anger, even when it's just simmering or seething within us, actually creates emotional pollution in ourselves, our relationships, our home, our neighborhood, our work place and the planet.  What can we do about it?  Checking a runaway temper is like taming a wild horse.  If you have ever ridden high-spirited horses, you know not to let them just run, especially if they are jumpy or upset.  You use the reins to guide them, a soft toned voice to calm them.  We can do the same with anger.

We can bridle the beast.  If we have our mouths closed, we will not misuse our power verbally.  If we refuse to strike out with our fists or feet, whatever,  we will not misuse our power physically. Even when our anger isn't a reaction to people but what may be going on in daily life around us. Such as, terrorism, pollution from chemicals, trapping of dolphins in a tuna catch, the conditions of the world around us etc. All the causes we feel passionate about.
 

The principle of how we handle our feelings is exactly the same.  Whenever we are angry, we need to find a "constructive" way to approach the situation that is incensing us. We need to seek ways to take constructive action in our own sphere of influence.  Meditation i.e. Yoga, getting out and going for a pep-step walk or any form of exercise, can do wonders for anger (and stress). Anger is normal, every body has it, no one is exempt. 

But how we handle that powerful energy is our choice. We always have a choice.  If we adjust our perspective, we can take dominion over our passions.  When we bridle our temper, we begin to tame that wild horse of anger within us.  Now we can rein him in, turn him around and head off that display of human volatility.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2017. How We Handle Anger Matters.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Milestones In Our Lives.



Milestones In Our Lives

As we collect the milestones in our lives, look to them as markers of experience and wisdom. However confusing, naive, or purposeful they have been, there will be more to come. Everyones journey is a stepping stone to learn from and utilize to your advantage. Our milestones in our lives mark points that can be special occasions, events or experiences that mean something to us. It can be wisdom gained that we can use to help others. Perhaps when we listen to those whom seem lost or confused, what we have learned along the way could be a light for them at the end of a dark tunnel they may be traveling. With an open heart of compassion we learn to walk amoung the hurdles of life with more detailed understanding. Without ego we are better able to make decisions that are more precise. Milestones help us grow emotionally as well.

When we are young we are so filled with the excitement of not knowing. We think we are the only one that circumstances fall upon. But we aren't. As much as everyone thinks they are so unique, altho' we maybe in some individual ways, we are also so much alike. Our emotions are constructed by the things we experience, especially when we are children. As we get older we learn to cope with or deal with the adversities that life throws into the mix for us, in our own ways. We realize that altho' things we were taught as children, whether positive or negative, are not necessarily the way we choose to see things as we get older. We grow, we change. With every experience we go through, we realize that we can take in the experience and commit it to a milestone.

As time goes on we've collected many milestones along the way. Some are huge and eventful mile stones while others are small but they still carry meaning. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to log our milestones into a computer file like a mini-movie? Then anytime we wanted to look back at them they would be right there for us to see again in full color. For now people use journals or diaries, take pictures or they record them into a computer notebook. Some people record them on video. Either way its human nature to record milestones in our lives because of the senitmental value, lessons learned or the memory it holds for us. I guess what some may classify as a milestone may be different than what others may classify it as. Its a personal thing. Something that means so much to each and everyone of us.

I believe milestones are a wonderful occasion because they are marked by certain circumstances or occurrences that take place in each of our lives. Milestones are constructed to provide reference points along the road in life as well. They are what gives each of us our individual lives. What makes our life experiences something to remember, look back on and cherish. Enjoy the day.

Copyright(c)2012.Milestones In Our Lives.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.     

Gratitude Is Key To Being Happy.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Practice gratitude everyday and even tho' its impossible to have 100% of joy and happiness all of the time, due to life's negative absurdities. It always comes down to choice in how we allow these things to effect us. I am not saying we should have the attitude of not giving a dam about things, because thats negative in itself. Its more than that. Everything is a lesson, meant to teach us more about ourselves and to help us develop our higher thinking and... spirituality. So if we choose to be emotionally burdened by the sadness and bs in the world, its not that it occurs that makes you feel bad, its how you allow it to effect you and for how long, that dictates your feelings and attitudes. Sure there are many sad and heartbreaking things that occur for which we can do nothing for to help it. We can feel true empathy for the unfortunate. Take from those things the lesson, embrace it and carry on with calm, confidence and better direction for yourself. As an old saying went: " I use to complain about my shoes until I saw a man who had no feet." Be grateful for all things in your life. Strive to be happy. Happy life day everyone!

 

 

Gratitude image offered by Bing.com

 

 

 

Copyright(c)2016.GratitudeIsKeyToBeingHappy.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Peace and Procrastination - A Matter Of Our Thoughts

"The way to be at peace is to discover how to be happy in any situation"

 

Finding a way to be happy in any situation or event in our lives is key to having peace in our lives. The way to be at peace is to discover how to be happy in any situation we find ourselves in. Not constantly trying to change everything and everyone to make it match your idea of perfect. You may think that would make you happy but that never works.  Because life is not perfect and you are setting yourself up to be disappointed which leads to not feeling at peace with yourself. 

 

Its our own thoughts that make or break our being at peace in our lives.  Because no matter how perfect we believe everything is you will still have all of your own thoughts.  So its changing how we think about the situation or events in our lives that will decide how at peace we truly can be.  If you always procrastinate about doing something that needs to be done and you keep putting it off, think about what thoughts are going through your mind about doing what needs to get done at that moment. 

 

Are you thinking about how you dislike having to do what needs to be done?  Are you telling yourself you don't want to do what needs to be done?  And to make yourself feel better, or at least you think it does, you distract yourself by doing something you like to do instead?  It could be watching a movie, eating, playing video games, going on the internet, shopping, going to a park or meeting up with friends. 

You tell yourself you will do it another time and believing that you are in control of your life you go for that power thought?  STOP! Right there those thoughts you are having is the reason why you procrastinate which leads to not feeling really at peace with yourself.  You think yourself right out of doing what is in need of being done.

 

Not to say that other activities are bad things, but when we put off what needs to be done and go for these other options which are actually distractions, we end up not doing what needs to be done and we place it on the back burner of our minds.  We put it off to be looked at later on.  So what happened here?  You know you had something to do and you may not really have wanted to do it even though it has to be done.  You thought to yourself that you could do it later and so you opted in for another activity instead.  But you always come back to knowing that you still need to do what needs to be done.  

 

This thought resurfaces itself and floats around in or minds even if for a few quick seconds it begins to weigh on our minds.  Its what I call a loose-end.  Loose-ends form together and become a mental ball and chain which in turn keep resurfacing because our brains keep reminding us of the things we need to do and this makes us uneasy, unfulfilled and not at peace within ourselves.  Once you start catching yourself thinking negatively about what needs to be done stop yourself and flip it to a positive thought instead. i.e. "..once I get this done I'll feel like I have accomplished something and it will make me happy and proud of myself.."  or you may think "..once I have finished what needs to be done I can do something that I really enjoy doing.." 

 

Once you start nurturing your thought process into thinking more positively about your life and all of the things in it, you will see that things are not as difficult as they seem and you will feel more free minded and at peace with your thoughts and your life.  Remember its key to notice what you are thinking and how you think about things that will make all the difference in how at peace or how much turmoil you create in your life.  Its your choice, plain and simple.  Enjoy the day.    

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright(c)2016. Peace and Procrastination - A Matter Of Our Thoughts.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All rights reserved.

 



 

How You See Yourself Reflects Onto Others.

Look in your mirror.  Go on.. have a look.  What do you see?  Who is starring back at you?  When you look at yourself are you looking at only your reflection?  Only how nice you look?  Do you take a moment to look deeper then only what you see on the surface?  We want to see how we appear on the outside to other people.  People for the most part use the mirror only to checkout their look. Is the hair just right?  Do the clothes look good?  Does this make me look fat?  Is the makeup too much, too little or just right?  Are you handsome?  Anything in my nose?  Everyone does this to give ourselves confidence to go about our day.  But what about those times when you look at yourself in the mirror and you don't feel good about what you see?  You feel depressed or down about yourself or things going on in your life.  You don't think you look nice at all.  We are usually too self absorbed to realize how this feeling can look towards other people.  Which in turn only makes you feel worse about yourself.  There is much more going on with your reflection than you may know.  Did you know that other people whom you associate with like those at your job or in your class are like your mirror?  They will reflect you.

A simple concept, yet one that many people are either unwilling, or unable, to grasp.  Your emotions, your traits and your feelings are reflected back at you from other people.  Either through in-kind responses or through predictable reactions to the emotions or feelings that you're projecting.  Most of the time our feelings going on with ourselves projects outward to others around us. You can sense this when we meet someone for the first time and we may feel a "negitive vibe" from that person. They could be having a bad day themselves and they are just in a negative state of mind.  Altho' first impressions may cause us to draw a conclusion about someone like that.  Passing judgement wouldn't really be accurate.  This is due to how that person feels within themselves and it projects outward to others they may come in contact with.  Now a lot of people have developed the ability to put their best foot forward.  Even when things may not be so positive for them.  This is a good trait because what you think about within will project outward and show on the surface.

Altho' there are people that carry themselves as if everything is great in their lives.  Only to feel totally different when they are by themselves.  These kind of feelings should be addressed because there is something more going on they should resolve or change.  If you have to falsify feeling good you should assess what is wrong in your life and change it.  I'm talking about being real here. True feelings and how they effect others and reflect you.  You will project what you're feeling inside.  People who seem oblivious to these kinds of senses are usually so absorbed in what they are doing that they miss it.  So when you look in that mirror next time.  Get in close, look deeper and make a detemination of yourself that you are capable.  You can decide how your day will go. You will have a positive productive day.  Even though absurdities and negatives come into our day no matter how positive we are.  The key to maintaining a positive healthy reflection is by not giving any negative events any power.  Handle any problem with the best positive resolve you can, stay positive and if you catch the right moment, offer a pleasant positive comment to someone who may be experiencing a negative day.

For most people hearing kindness from someone can give them hope and make them feel better. Believe it or not, once you realize the power of positive re-enforcement, this can be helpful to someone who could use the positive boost in their life at that moment.  It is also great feedback for ourselves.  When was the last time you told yourself that you respect, trust and love yourself and you have worth and value as a human being?  Try this while looking in your own eyes.  Do you think you need another person to give you that?  You don't.  When we learn to love and trust ourselves we begin to care more about what we do, what is good to keep in our lives, what to change for the better and how our outlook changes our own perception of ourselves and our lives.  We allow ourselves to feel good about who we are as a human being.  We are no longer concerned about what others may think.  After all what others think about us is their business not ours.  We find that we can do a lot more things than we thought because we gave ourselves the chance to prove it by developing our own belief and support system from within.  And when you look in the mirror, we no longer think how we look to others.  We think how good we feel and how wonderful of a day we'll have. What the days experience will teach us.  What positive reflection I can share with others.  You will feel a self assurance and confidence about yourself.

Thats the key; embracing who you are and allowing yourself the beautiful spiritual being that is alive within you.  You will reflect your thoughts and shine on the outside when you allow truth to unfold within.  Its all about embracing who you are, acknowledging any faults, excepting what cannot be changed, and letting go, releasing negatives instead of holding onto them.  They will only cause you grief and harm.  Negative thoughts are empty energy that only zaps your positive outlook. It is quite easy to go through your entire life and never develop the skill of spotting yourself being reflected in other people.  Any development in this area will improve your self-insight, your self trust and your relations with others. Happy life day.

Copyright(c)2015. How You See Yourself  Reflects Unto Others.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Getting Over Disappointment - Practice the Art Of Non-attachment.

A very healing video. So many suffer from this for no good reason. Feeling this way most of my life. I know it stemmed from childhood. Over the last few years I've began my journey of changing this emotional state. I have found that "energy flows where attention goes." I've tried this visualization exercise & the results are amazing. If we can do this by focusing on something, then we can create our lives for the better by focusing on that. Altho' you may still struggle with feelings of disappointment learning that our thoughts create our lives is key to getting past disappointment. Don't allow your thoughts or fears of disappointment to direct how you should feel. Practice the art of non-attachment. While we still desire things, whilst not becoming attached to the outcome. Change your thoughts... change your life. While its always a work in progress, its all about how we perceive things & letting go of things that no longer serve us. Enjoy the day.