Self Acceptance - Builds Inner Strength

I love the writings of Karen Casey in her book: Each Day A New Beginning. Here she writes about Acceptance. God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. Many times, yesterday, last week, today and even tomorrow, we'll come..face to face with a seemingly intolerable situation. The compulsion to change the situation, to demand that another person change the situation is great. What a hard lesson it is to learn we can change only ourselves. The hidden gift in this lesson is that as our activities change, often the intolerable situations do too. Acceptance, after a time, smooth all the ripples that discourage us. And it softens us. It nurtures wisdom. It attracts joy and love from others. Ironically, we often try to force changes that we think will loosen love and lessen struggle. Acceptance can do what our willpower could never accomplish. As we grow in wisdom, as we grow in understanding, as we realize the promises of this, we'll stand ready, as an individual, to weather all our personal storms. Like the willow in the wind, we'll bend rather than break. And we'll be able to help others become wise through our example.

So many people, at one time or another, try to find ways to feel complete. To be accepting of things can help our journeys be more enjoyable. It all starts within ourselves. It doesn't hinder our abilities when we learn to accept. In essence acceptance relieves us of the pressures of trying to cope or deal with situations in which we would like to change but cannot. That doesn't mean we should accept all things. In no way is that meant. You can change yourself, your situation, increase your chances of being more accepting of yourself. There are things within our lives, in ourselves that we can change and knowing that we can change them is in essence acceptance. We accept the idea of changing for the better. We do the best we can to do so and we self-accept ourselves. When we make positive strides in our lives, be proud of yourself, be happy that you were able to make a change. Acknowledging that to yourself is key to self acceptance. Strive to be happy.


Copyright(c)2013.Written by Sherrie Vitello, excerpts from the book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey. All Rights Reserved.   

Mustering the Courage to Face Our Dark Side.

Carl Jung, the famous Swiss Psychiatrist, named our dark side 'the shadow.' He taught that when we do not recognize our shadow side, or are unwilling to look at it, it tends to become demonic. We need to realize that our fears are apart of that shadow side. And when we do not bring those fears to light, they do tend to take us over in ways that seem crazy or demonic. Fear is expressed in a thousand ways. Fear is closely related to apprehension, uneasiness, anxiety and out and out panic.

Fear is behind rigidity, intolerance and fanaticism. Fear is at the root of indecisiveness and hesitancy to take action. Fear is behind much of our disorganization, disorderliness or sloppiness, or their opposites, nit picky organization, compulsive cleanliness or an obsessive need for order. When we bring our fears up for air and look at them in the light of day, they often are not as fearsome as we thought they were. Unconscious forces gain power when we hide from them, when we say, "I don't want to look at that. It's too frightening."

As we shrink from them, they increase their negative hold over us. When we face and name those dark motives, thoughts or feelings, they become less daunting. As we mobilize our heart's higher power, wisdom and love, we turn the light on in that dark space of consciousness. Shedding light on your scary dark side. As an example, perhaps you have a tendency to shade the truth, to lie. Hiding under that tendency is your fear of what might happen if you tell the truth. Your spiritual antidote could be to take the following steps.

1. Pray for the courage to speak the truth
2. Muster up the courage a second before the lie sneaks out.
3. Take a deep breath and speak the truth.
4. No matter what happens, congratulate yourself for winning a victory over your dark side. 

Take courage to look into your subconscious, to look into the unconscious, to bring your shadow parts to your outer awareness, to give them a name. Remember how Jesus named the devils before he cast them out? He would say, "What is your name?" For instance, before he cast out the devils from the Gadarene man, he asked the unclean spirit it's name. And the unclean spirit answered through the man, saying, "My name is Legion: for we are many." And the devils are then entered into a herd of swine.

The naming of the inner devils becomes a teaching for us today. Once you name a point of fear, it is no longer an unknown controlling force. You have defined it, circumscribed it and started to detach from it. The fear loses some of it's negative power in the very process of being recognized and named. It becomes a manageable energy that you can cast out and replace. And in that process of replacement you have a turn around in consciousness. You can replace fear with enlightenment. You can replace it with faith in yourself and your inner walk. You can replace it with equanimity in the face of misfortune. You can replace it with loving care for yourself and others. And you begin to realize it's a great life if you don't weaken!

Until next time....Enjoy the day.

*Copyright(c)2010.Post Created by Sherrie Vitello.Titled: Mustering the Courage to Face Our Dark Side.Excerpts taken from the book: Emotions; Transforming anger, fear and pain. By Marilyn C. Barrick, PhD.

How We Handle Anger

An old Japanese tale goes,  a belligerent samurai once challenged a Zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell.  But the monk replied with scorn, "you're nothing but a lout...I can't waste my time with the likes of you!"  His very honor attacked, the samurai flew into a rage and pulling his sword from it's scabbard, yelled, "I could kill you for your impertinence!"  That, the monk calmly replied, is hell. Startled at seeing the truth in what the master pointed out about the fury that had him in it's grip, the samurai calmed down, sheathed his sword, and bowed, thanking the monk for his insight.  And that, said the monk...is heaven.

Anger is a trap. When we allow ourselves to dissolve into fury, we do damage to our soul and spirit.  Anger can come upon you suddenly, like a flash.  And you are engaged because it is a trap. It is a trap of the sinister force, the forces of darkness and it is a trap we lay for ourselves because we don't deliver ourselves from the dweller-on-the-threshold.
(The dweller-on-the-threshold is a term used to designate the anti-self, the not-self, the anti-thesis of the real self.)

But the will and the determination, the surrender and the consciousness of wrestling with ourselves to get rid of those points of darkness, that's something only we can do. Taming the wild horse of anger. We all remember times when we were angry or completely lost our temper. At other times perhaps we were seething with anger, altho' we didn't express it directly.  Some of us believe our anger is a good thing, and furthermore, you may feel better after you've yelled it out.  Frankly it gives me a headache after I exert anger & it highers my bloodpressure. Your health will be affected by anger too but not in a good healthy way.

Perhaps you see nothing wrong with venting anger. Yet when we understand how energy works, we realize that angry vibes, made even more powerful when we yell them, are explosive energy. It's an emotional bomb that disrupts clear reasoning.  And the aftermath of negative vibes doesn't just go away. It keeps us in a grumbly mood, pollutes productivity and impacts people around us. 

Most people don't like those vibes one bit. They usually forget the point they were trying to make midst the fury. Think of one of those times in your life when you were seething with anger.  Then ask yourself, "What was the point of my anger?  How did I express it?"  Now remember a time that you wouldn't say you were angry but you felt irritated, disgusted, annoyed or frustrated. When you look deeper, you'll discover that those feelings are simply variations of the theme, they all track back to anger.

Anger, a powerful destructive force, even when it's just simmering or seething within us, actually creates emotional pollution in ourselves, our relationships, our home, our neighborhood, our work place and the planet. What can we do about it? Checking a runaway temper is like taming a wild horse. If you have ever ridden high-spirited horses, you know not to let them just run, especially if they are jumpy or upset. You use the reins to guide them, a soft toned voice to calm them. You get much better results that way. We can do the same with anger.

We can bridle the beast. If we have our mouths closed, we will not misuse our power verbally. If we refuse to strike out with our fists or feet, whatever, we will not misuse our power physically. Even when our anger isn't a reaction to people but what may be going on in daily lives around us. Such as, the state of our country, terrorism, pollution from chemicals, trapping of dolphins in a tuna catch, the conditions of the world around us etc. All the causes we feel passionate about. Can eat away at us until we are pushed just enough & we explode into a raging, angry, irrational person.  

The principle of how we handle our feelings is exactly the same.  Whenever we are angry, we need to find a "constructive" way to approach the situation that is incensing us. We need to seek ways to take constructive action in our own sphere of influence.  Meditation i.e. yoga, pilates, getting out and going for a pep-step walk or any form of exercise can do wonders for anger (and stress). Anger is normal, every body has it, no one is exempt. 

But how we handle that powerful energy is our choice. We always have a choice.  If we adjust our perspective, we can take dominion over our passions. When we bridle our temper, we begin to tame that wild horse of anger within us. Now we can rein him in, turn him around and head off that display of human volatility. Keep calm & carry on.  

Written by Sherrie Vitello, Excerpts taken from the wonderful book: EMOTIONS Transforming Anger, Fear and Pain by Marilyn C. Barrick, Ph.D.

Way Beyond The Time For Change

What if you woke up one morning and realized
you're the dissappointment?

So it's 6:30am and time to wake up. For the longest time you can remember feeling like crap as soon as you became conscious. You would almost come to tears because you knew it was time to get up and face the day. (Same s**t, different day) was how you felt. Until of course you got your fix for the day. Once you started using you loved waking up, because you knew you would be able to get your morning fix and feel right again. Knowing it sounds ridiculous, even sad, that you looked forward to using just so you'd feel right. But sad to say, that's what happens when a person is an addict. Everything seems better when we've had our DOC (drug of choice.)Until things start to fall apart, you get into trouble, or you just ignore your addictive lifestyle. It will keep snow balling out of control, until you realize how altering your thoughts of addiction causes change.

In the beginning of using, we believe its new, satisfying, even exciting to know you're about to get your fix. But after awhile its just an addiction, ball and chain, monkey on your back. It becomes a problem in one way or another. Things start going wrong for you, family and some friends stop coming around you, good relationships fall away, you get into trouble. You know in your heart that you're not living the way you were meant to. What if you woke up one morning and realized you're the dissappointment? The addict thinks how good it would feel to feel right without having to use. Its alarming to know how many are functioning addicts. They go to work and confront the day with confidence. Nothing bothers them, so long as they have their stash so they could bump themselves up (when needed) throughout the day. And no one knew of their ball and chain of addiction. As their addiction progresses, they wanted it even more, to feel this way clean. Although they love the way their drug of choice made them feel, they knew in their hearts this could not last. The addict comes to a fork in the road of their lives. They wonder why things don't go better for them.They will either get help and stop using and change their lives for the better or they will continue down their road of self destruction and give up on themselves. That is such a shame and a waste because life itself, is a gift.

Example photo:
Left pic is how Ann looked at
her worst time as a addict.
Right pic is how she
looks now clean
and happy.

In this example this addict decided to stop killing themselves and changed for the better. So how do they feel now? Now that they are no longer using? Since it's been about a year now they actually do feel good when they wake up. It took looking inside of oneself and some attitude adjustments to change the negative feelings into positive ones. Alot of meetings and positive readings. But when you want something so bad it hurts, you'd be surprised how strong you can become. For most, what they've learned was that they have to change how they feel about their lives, about themselves. It can take some time, but it can be accomplished. When the addict gets sick of being sick, realization of knowing you need to change is the first step to recovery.

Humans can achieve alot more than they think they can once they get passed the fear of being without the addiction and giving themselves a chance to achieve a better way of living. If we think of the possibilities instead of the obstacles, focus on the things we want, NOT the things we don't want, attract the positive, we can do wonders with ourselves and our lives. But you have to be willing to look at yourself, see what you've become, know you ARE more than your addiction or a quick fix. For the amount of people in the U.S. alone, all of the experience people have gained going through recovery and overcoming their addictions, still those who are stuck in their addictions will rarely heed the advice of those who've been through it and have come out on the otherside, free of their addiction. When the fear of getting high becomes greater than the fear of being clean, you'll know it's way beyond the time for change.

Enjoy the day.

Written by Sherrie Vitello/inserts by Celeste Vitello(c)2011.Way Beyond The Time For Change.All Rights Reserved.

                  

Shadow of my Pen            

Shadow of my pen
caught my tired eye
Writing without reason
Follows my desire
Walk along beside me
Tip by tip we blend
Feeling all the rhythm
Flowing through my hand

All the letters bouncing
A bigger life than I
As my pen it dances
Where I choose to fly
Will I share my passion?
To keep my dream alive
Or will I let it slip?
Without the will to try



Stumbled down I have
Lied there reaching out
For anything to help me
Understand what life's about
Now I see this purpose
It has brought me to my knees
But this never ending circus
Keeps me in displease

Still I keep on writing
Through my sense of doubt
Just so I can show you
What I think life's about.

Taken from her book; an inspirational read that touches on emotions, realization & acceptance with the dilemma of addiction:  Through This Addicts Eyes  By:  Celeste Vitello
(Thanks for reading!)Read more & find it here:  http://bit.ly/Throughthisaddictseyes

NEWS - Revenue and Ratings? Just What Are They Feeding Us?

"..just what ARE they feeding us..?"

Since the news media is based on 'Revenue & Ratings' it isn't surprising to most of us that most of the topics they talk about are sensationalized & horrendous. But just what are they feeding us? Its no wonder that when we watch it, it can sometimes leave us feeling abit depressed, angry & even alittle overwhelmed about the state of our society, both morally & economically. The best advice for this is to remember, it has been suggested that the media's only cause for existing, isn't for the betterment of people. Even tho' it may have been at one time. All they want is to be number ONE on the ratings board & to achieve a high revenue. I guess there's alot of people that like hearing about the terrible things that happen in the world. Of course the news media will gladly appease these appetites. I often wonder at what point did this happen? I mean..as far back as bible times,(first published in Rome by Julius Caesar) people thought it was a great idea to tell others about the things that were happening in their town, with events, with their leaders etc. It was likely an effort to control or conform to standardized information. (Read more about: Why was the newspaper invented? At wiki.answers.com)

But where did the news take the turn into airing peoples dirty laundry? Telling everyone about some stars plastic surgery, how much money a person has, what property a rich person just purchased, what young woman just made the centerfold, what some housewife did to her neighbors flower bed..I mean the list of absurdities just goes on and on. No doubt its a good idea to let people know about a criminal that escaped from jail and is in their area or a rapist or murderer on the loose. Letting people know about the weather, earthquakes, floods and wildfires is definitely purposeful and useful. Highlighting a childs accomplishment with a school project. The condition of our planets health and utilizing affordable ways to preserve it. Or letting everyone know about a new medical breakthrough that does actually cure something without abunch of horrific side effects. Telling people about things that matter, such as, a bacterial viral outbreak in a local area, a new law that has been passed by congress, or where there is available work. Things that matter, that truly help the people and our society. For the betterment of all mankind. (Not to say that the news never talks about these things.) Theres just not enough of these things being talked about when compared to the other side of the coin. Why doesn't our news stations rely more on those topics and types of stories?

I'm sure there are alot of folks that don't even watch TV when they wake up. Alot of the times playing favorite music helps to maintain a better outlook towards the new day. Frankly there are some people that have come to the understanding that "..believing nothing that you hear and only half of what you see.." is probably the best way to think. Can't say I dissagree there. Perhaps its better living in the knowledge that 95% of what is on TV is actually not true. Here's an idea, why not just create a channel on TV thats just for absurd, gossip and useless news? Just have it run for 24 hours aday, 7days aweek. Those who want to watch it can and those who don't won't. That could work! That way our regular news stations could focus on news thats worth listening to instead of subjecting or exposing everyone to empty, useless news that is broadcasted because its on the news teleprompters. Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting the blame on the news anchorperson. They only work for the companies that broadcast the news and certainly at times they too probably think some of the news as being ridiculous or absurd.

What little authority they may have, the authority to say that a news item is ridiculous and not worth airing goes higher up. That blame goes to those overpaid executives and power hungry companies running the news stations, and they love those ratings which makes for alot of revenue. Whether the news is moral, true, sesationalized or horrendous. Is there really a choice? Then again when you think about it, if the public didn't really want to hear all the sensationalized horrendous and ridiculous news I guess it wouldn't be so popular. Hmmmm..which makes me wonder, even more so, about societies values and morals in general. I guess the next best thing we can do about it...is simply change the channel. Just saying. Enjoy the day.


Copyright(c)2012.News - Revenue and Ratings?Just What Are They Feeding Us? Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.

Beating Your Addiction - How Do You Make Changes for the Better?

These steps really work. If you've been to NA or AA meetings then you know the do's & don'ts that are meant to help you stay clean & sober. Sure it takes commitment & hard work BUT you can be successful at depleting your addiction & staying clean. Plus the benefits of participating in these activities goes above & beyond just staying clean & sober. The health benefits both mentally & physically are phenomenal. Putting this into your daily lifestyle will make it become habit. A good habit too. As you progress with your routines if you start to feel like you're getting bored with the samething day after day...well, change it up alittle. But don't give up on it. Never give up on yourself. You are totally worth the effort. You deserve to live a happy life. You only get one, so make it count. Let go of the past mess ups, absurdities, addictions & guilt. Start a new life for yourself & loved ones Now! You'll find that as you go along with your changes, it does get easier to overcome the triggers & cravings. At times you may feel as though you're getting no where, but know this, with every effort you put into changing your lifestyle the stronger you get & more results you'll see as you go.  Learning to love yourself can seem difficult but given a chance you will learn to live & let go. And you'll be so much happier, you'll be able to deal with situations as they come along. Whether good or bad. You will have faith in yourself even more so. Its a matter of YOU taking the steps to MAKE the changes. It's your choice, you can't place blame on anyone or anything else. If you truly want to live a addiction free life...then make the choice to do so.