Failure Should not be Looked Upon as a Negative.

"The way we perceive things will be the compass to how happy or how miserable we will feel."

"..its going to be a positive day.."

I've always believed that with each new day we all have the opportunity to make that new day a positive, productive, happy day. We owe to ourselves to try and have a good day. One that will end with a feeling of gratitude or satisfaction that we did the best that we could with the hours of the day we had. I've learned to think a certain way as soon as I become awake every morning. After all..in order to change our lives we have to change our thinking. For the better of course. So every morning before I even get out of bed, I immediately think to myself "..I will have a positive and productive day.." Its a form of self talk that I've grown accustomed to doing. Best of all it works well when we're at a stage of our lives of uncertaintly or unclarity. For things to be better in our lives, so we don't feel bad or sad every time we start a new day, we have to see our reality for what it truly is for each of us individually. Even when things arise that we feel we have no control over. The way we deal with it will make all the difference in how we feel. If things don't seem to be working out for us then its time to re-evaluate the way we are living. We should do this in order to find out where we should begin to make changes so we can carry on with a better outlook about our lives.

"..don't throw in the towel!.."

If we keep blaming everything on situations or circumstances then what we are really saying to ourselves is that we have no control over our thinking or lives. We've gotten to a point where we either "think" we can't change or we don't "want" to make the effort to change. That kind of mindset can and usually does lead to negative feelings, thoughts and outcomes. I've also learned that failure should not be looked upon as a negative. Why? Because if we didn't fail then how would we know what or where to change things for the better? We wouldn't. We would just keep going along the way we're going. Thinking that nothing will ever be better or different for us in our lives. So the next time you fail at something, instead of throwing in the towel, try to look at that failure from a different perspective. Think to yourself.."what can I do to make the outcome be more positive or successful?" Look back at the situation that caused you to fail in the first place, see it for what it is and try going about whatever it was you were trying to accomplish, from a different angle. It might surprise you to find that by looking at your situation from a different perspective was just what you needed to make the task (or situation)positive and successful.

Money as a Tool is Essential.

Failure is only fatal when we deem it so. The way we perceive things and what we do about things that come about in our daily lives will be the compass to how happy or how miserable we will feel. Alot of people allow material things to be the base of their happiness. Especially money. No doubt money (when used as a tool) helps us to have the essentials for living i.e. food, our electric bill, house payment, our car payment, our insurance, clothes etc. What I find is that even though people usually have enough money to pay for these essentials, (or they have assistance) people always want or need more. Thats because money has become the most important factor for alot of people. There's nothing wrong with having the desire to make more money in order to live better. But when it comes to being so preoccupied with making money that you forget the true quality of living, that is a problem. We malfunction. Like a robot that is overloaded with too much to process. We can forget about the important things in life i.e. our families, helping others, the beauty of nature, the small things we do that really count and gives us feelings of gratitude or fullfilment. All in all in our pursuit of happiness we should never forget the things that matter. No matter how small they may be. In keeping to this way of thinking, we can be more balanced in all the phases of our lives.

"Don't Allow Your Failures To Hold You Down"

Everyone at one time or another will fail at something. Its just the way the cycle of living is. What we have to realize about failure is that we can learn from it and actually use it as a tool to make things turn out better for each of us. Learning this lesson early on in life is essential to creating a productive, successful path for our lives. Unfortunately some people won't learn this until they are older and have been through some negative experiences. We try to cushion the stress or hurt we may have experienced by buffering the emotional pain with drugs, alcohol or other forms of addiction. Which because we are creatures of habit, usually turns into an addiction. Although this is a difficult stage for people to go through, they can still come out of it, be free of it and not rely on artificial stimuli to help them cope. Besides, people miss so much when in the haze of addiction. I never knew how much I truly missed until I became free of my addictions. It was as if I was standing on a mountain cliff and I saw the sunrise for the first time. I mean to genuinely have laughter because I honestly felt happy was an awakening I'll never let go of. So if you're feeling down about the way you see your life and you're not sure of what to do to improve your life. Try looking at things differently from a different perspective. Sometimes a small change in how you think can make a huge difference. Enjoy the day.


Copyright(c)2012.Failure Should not be Looked Upon as a Negative.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.         

How Addiction Effects Our Life of Purpose.

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose" When I read this quote I realized that this is what everyone needs to live by in order to feel content, gratitude and happy about their lives. Having a purpose. When a human-being has no purpose in their lives they are much more susceptible to staying or becoming addicts. Be it drugs, alcohol, over-eating, over-shopping, to name a few. Everyone of us feels the need to have purpose, be needed, feel worthy, have approval, even being looked up to. When we lack those feelings we feel empty inside and we tend to "make up" (sort of speak) for that emptiness. We do that by developing habits. Some people develop good habits and some people develop bad habits. When we are addicts we need to stop the bad habit and replace it with a good habit. So its stand to reason that when a person doesn't have these emotional-tanks filled to some degree, they are more likely to fall off the path of staying clean and sober.

We must continue at all costs to strive to have purpose in our lives. It won't be given to us. With purpose we are given the air under our wings that lifts us up away from our unhealthy addictions. Why does having a life of purpose effect us so much? I did some research about this and found some very interesting facts about how "purpose" effects our brains. Because of our limbic system located in our brains. This part of our brain directs emotion and behavior. The limbic system sets the emotional tone of information before it reaches the cortex, where most of our thinking and learning takes place. Our limbic system interprets and directs emotions and behavior. Then these emotions are sent to the cortex where it is processed. When we have purpose in our lives we have emotions of fulfillment and contentment. This is a positive state of mind and our limbic system interprets this as positive information.

Which gives us a feeling of purpose and directs our behavior to achieve and meet our goals. Of course when our feelings get hurt or we have emotional trauma in our lives, it makes us feel unhappy as if we have no purpose at all. Especially when we have not learned how to cope with or deal with negative situations very well. These kinds of emotions can lead us to finding ways to comfort ourselves, over eat, self medicate or drink too much, to forget how we're really feeling. And this happens alot to alot of people. Now think for a moment just how using drugs, alcohol or overeating (which are the 3 most common forms of addiction) will effect us. First by using artificial stimulus (some-thing external that influences an activity such as drugs, alcohol, over eating) we end up saturating our brains due to the overflow of chemicals. Drugs, alcohol or overeating effect our brains by acting to enhance or interfere with the activity of neuro- transmitters and receptors within the synapses of the brain.

Our brains are made up of neurons ( aka nerves) so whatever drugs or chemicals we put into our bodies will get to our brains but the effects are destructive not productive. This is why after so many years of drug addiction, alcoholism or over eating the effects on our brains and bodies start to take over. We've all seen people that have been addicts for a long time and the abuse they subject their bodies to, the end results are unpleasant to see. Whenever you think about something, sense something or do something, what is happening at the level of the brain is that various neurons are sending information to one another concerning what you are thinking, sensing or doing. It is at the level of this inter-neuron communication that most drugs have their effects. Either by over stimulating or preventing proper function. So the idea that we are making ourselves feel better by continuing with an addiction is in reality a harmful and false state of mind. And we cause more damage to our brains than we truly know or want to admit to.

Because our addictive thinking has clouded our reasoning and doesn't want us to stop being addicts. It's a demon we have to fight in order to gain control over our health and quality of life. When you really think about how addictions effect your brain and body to this degree. You can build on that knowledge of how to start stopping your addiction. We all know that addiction isn't good for us. But when we step back and see the true damage and we learn how our addictions really hurt us and how it disrupts our lives. We can then see that it's up to us as an individual to stop blaming everyone and everything else, take responsibility for your actions and to get the help
needed to stop being an addict. To allow ourselves to gain control and achieve a positive lifestyle, state of mind and a happier life. It is only when the addict can addmit they have this problem, they can't fix it alone and they reach out for help that they are truly on the path to recovery. We can then understand the true meaning of "getting high on life!"  Enjoy the day.

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  Copyright(c)2011-2012. How Addiction Effects Our Life of Purpose. Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Addiction and Denial - The 2 Components That Make Up Addiction.

   I was researching some ideas about articles on addiction and I came across Dr.  Robert Lefever's video's. I reviewed a few of them and found that they really focus on the indepth problems of addiction. The how's, why's, what can be done, how can I help myself, etc. The 3 most common addictions are alcohol, drugs, and eating disorders(both anorexia & bulimia.) The one thing I found was although we don't recognize it when we're actively in our addiction, we do have control over what happens to us. Once we accept the fact that we need to get help. We can overcome the powers of the addiction. But we first have to acknowledge and except that we need help to fight our problem.

Take a moment and have a look at this video, which is informative and very helpful for any of us either just beginning to get clean and sober or to help us stay on track of our sobriety. Dr.  Lefever makes some really "right on the head" points. He knows what will work for addicts who want to change for the better. He himself was an addict for 21 years, he didn't think he had a problem either, like alot of addicts think. Until the pain of his addiction was so bad that he had to make a change. Watch the video, you'll see what I mean. It just might help to get someone back on the right track to living instead of killing themselves.
Thanks for watching and reading my post. Enjoy the day!

Dr Robert Lefever-MA, MB, B Chir. - In 1986, Founded The PROMIS Recovery Centre, which pioneered and developed a new approach combining the benefits of several proven therapeutic models. The approach was so radical it was initially met with scepticism by the medical press. However, word rapidly spread, through patients’ recommendations, that the approach was miles ahead of anything else available. We quickly established ourselves as the only place to go.

Keep Your Eye on Your Goals No Matter What Comes Your Way!

                       (Video-Source by kannanssss)
Without failure we would never learn to do better next time. All of the negatives that seem to try to divert us from reaching our goals are there to make us better at what we do. Persistence is a unique mental strength, a strength that is essential to comb at the fierce power of the repeated rejections and numerous other obstacles that sit in waiting and all apart of winning in a fast moving, ever changing world. Highly successful men and women who have cut a path for others to follow, while leaving their mark on history all shared one common thing, everyone of these people were persistent.

So the next time you feel like you're getting no where, we all do sometimes, that's the time we truly need to put our best foot forward and keep working at our goals. It's when times seem there hardest that must not quit. Try applying affirmations to your daily routine. Here are 2 of my favorites.....

..."Success is NOT final, Failure is NOT fatal, it's having the courage to continue that matters." by Winston Churchill.

..."Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit." by Napoleon Hill. 

When we apply to our climb towards our success the thought process of succeeding instead of the fear factors of failing, we already have made progress towards our goals. Now, we keep going, steady, patiently, with persistence, never allowing anything to remove from our minds eye, our plateau of  our goals. When we believe in what we are trying to accomplish, we make way for that accomplishment to become reality.


  Enjoy the day.

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Copyright(c)2011.Keep Your Eye on Your Goals No Matter What Comes Your Way! By Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Keeping Up With The Joneses - That In Itself Is A Real Tragety



"Hey..I have to get one just like that!"

Why is it that we humans, or alot of humans, seem to think that they have to "keep up with the Joneses?" All thru' our lives we observe how there are so many people in our society that feel that they have to have the same style of clothes, the same vehicle, the same material things that someone else my have. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about looking up to or admiring someone for their character here, this is more about the material things that people seem to think define them. Sure it's great to have a nice wardrobe or a nice car. And perhaps these things do define us to some degree. But these material things are not who we are, at least they shouldn't be, they are material, they can show our success or our financial status but they can't make us who we are as a human being. Sadly for some people, they never get that. Have you ever noticed some of those people that are "well off financially" have a way of looking at others like they are much better than most people? Why is that? What happens to the character or personalities of people that have alot of material things? If you've been around these kind of people, you may have noticed how judgemental some of them can be. It's almost like they forget that somewhere along their family tree, their ancestors all got started somewhere too and probably with very little means. Reflecting back to school days is some the most painful memories for some, because they can recall the way they were treated just because they didn't have all the material things some others had.
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"Why do they have to make fun of me?"

They were made fun of, ridiculed, picked on, out cast for no real reason other than the fact that they didn't have the designer clothes, the nice car, the current hair style, or the cool school supplies. Like alot of us, alot of us didn't have those things either and we would hang out with others that were on a similar material level. Of course the guy with the coolest car was always admired and all the girls wanted to be with that guy. Unfortunately people that had alot of material things would act stuck up or judgemental of others with less material things. Once in awhile though, you'd meet someone that had all the material things and they were truly a nice person. They weren't judgemental, they didn't criticize others, they would help you out with your studies, if asked to, they seemed to treat others as they would like to be treated themselves. So what's wrong here? Why is it that some people that have more material things than others seem to develop an attitude of disdainfulness towards those who aren't on the same material level?  Are human beings taught this way of thinking from there parants or peers that are also well off? If so why? Just because someone has more material things than someone else, does that make them better?

You can take two people and stand them side by side. Person A only makes $20,000 a year, person B is well off, makes over $95,000 or more a year. Ok, this is going to seem abit strange but it's a way of comparing them, stick with me for a minute. Picture these 2 people in your mind, see them standing side by side, got it in your minds eye? Ok, now picture them naked...no really, picture them without any clothes on for a second, look at their bodies from head to toe. Not much difference right? With the exception that some parts may be bigger than others i.e. their hands, feet, longer hair, keep it clean now, this is PG rated LOL! Ok back to the point. Now picture them dressing themselves. Whether they start with the bottom half first or the top half first, isn't important. But as you see them dressing themselves, they really don't do anything much different than anyone else, they really don't look any different than anyone else. So what is it that causes a person that has more material things than others, seem to also have a different way of seeing others? I could never understand why that is so. Don't get me wrong, not all well off people are this way. But you've got to admit there is a majority of people that are like that. I want to know why? Where is it etched in stone that a person that has more material things is better than those who don't?
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The human factor

Do you think people that are well off materially are better people at heart than others? No of course not. There is good and bad people from all walks of life. Being good at heart stems from what we are taught as children, life-lessons etc. But there are people that are well off materially that "think" they are better than others. So it would stand to reason that these kind of people were taught to think this way. That could be the great divide between all people. When we "think" that we are better than everyone else, humans tend to forget the human factor. In general, a human factor is a physical or cognitive property of an individual or social behavior which is specific to humans and influences functioning of technological systems as well as human-environment equilibriums. Equilibrium is the condition of a system in which competing influences are balanced.   I believe people thinking they are better than others because they have more material things, stems from way back in time. I mean, even back to when people were first on the planet. And if so, why? Could our creators have been responsible for placing this in our genes? Where did this way of thinking derive from? Perhaps it has to do with humans having free-will. Our creators gave us free-will, so we could rationalize, solve, decide choose the way we think. That being so could be the reason why alot of humans believe if they have more material things, they are better than others. But even if this is true, I'm not saying these people are better than others. Maybe just better off. In a material sense

Quality of Life is so much more than material things.

As our children grow they aspire to be astronauts, doctors, physicists, great chef's, teachers, artists, and alot of them try to reach that goal and succeed. I believe whatever life-lessons are taught or learned by our children inspire them to become the adult they want to be. No doubt when we are raised with more means than others, we can accomplish things easier. Not to say, that anyone on any material level can't accomplish things, they can. What all of us need to remember is we have the right to excel in our lives anyway we desire. We have it in us to become anything we want. It really doesn't matter how much material things we have. What matters is how we utilize the time we are given and how we utilize material things. Hopefully for the better, not for self serving, vanity or conceited ways. Our quality of life is really what should matter to us, not the material things we acquire in our lives. Perhaps some people are born into being better off from the start and the purpose of this isn't so these people can brag and show off all their material things. Altho' alot of them do. Maybe they are meant to have all these things for another purpose, to help those less fortunate or to teach others how to be successful. Its just that somewhere along the line these well-off human beings forgot about that purpose. They began to think only about themselves and how being well-off benefits only them. It has become a "keeping up with the Joneses", dog eat dog world for alot of people. That in itself is the real tragety.  Enjoy the day.

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Copyright(c)2011.Keeping Up With The Joneses - The Effects On The Human Race.Written by Sherrie Vitello, All Rights Reserved.

What Can I Do About CRAVINGS or TRIGGERS?

Steps for Dealing With the Triggers That Lead You Back to Your Addiction

Get off the Addiction Ride to No Where!

Ok, you've made your choice. You've decided to stop using drugs or drinking alcohol. You believe in going to meetings for support, you read all the material written about addictions, you've decided to stay away from friends that use or drink and you're determined, this time, to make it. To not be an addict any longer. You want to wake up feeling good about living without having to pop a pill or take a drink of alcohol. Things are going ok, but could be better. You still have the "CRAVING MONSTER" on your back. You come into situations, whether negative or positive, that use to be triggers that made you use or drink before. Whether it is a happy time, a cook-out event, visiting relatives or friends, you use to have a drink, pop a pill, snort or shoot your drug of choice. But now you have to deal with these events without falling back on your addiction. It sucks! It's hard, but you tell yourself you're not going to give into those cravings or triggers. Sometimes when we are deciding to truly stop using or drinking, we fear knowing that we will have withdrawal symptoms, we think that we can't survive without our drug or drink of choice. We miss and desire that first hit feeling we get when we use or drink. It's very powerful. This is where we face our demon. Whether it's drugs or alcohol, we have to face this craving and deal with it properly. How many times have you had that strong craving for either your drug or drink of choice, even after a long time of being clean or sober?

"I'm not giving into this craving!"

You've been thru detox, you've been weaned off of your drugs or alcohol, you're clean, sober, straight, dry however you call it. So why are you still experiencing these cravings? Sometimes it's so strong that you think you'll fall back into your addiction. Sometimes people do. But you are at the end of your rope of using or drinking. You want the desire for this addiction gone! What can you do? When you crave your drugs or drink, you need to deal with the craving quickly. If you don't you can find yourself right back in the same chaos of using or drinking again. Feeling this craving, desire, hunger for, compulsion doesn't mean you have to give into it. You can start by reducing the things you use to do that would always be a trigger for you to use or drink. You will have to stay away from certain places and friends that influence you to stay in the addictive behavior. A true friend would not try to make you use or drink, when they know you're trying to quit. Cravings happen to everyone when they are changing their addictive ways into non-addictive ways. But they do eventually stop being so over bearing. By getting into things that are positive influences for you is another way to curb cravings and triggers. Start by developing a healthier outlook towards your life. Start by learning to live a more balanced life. Remember this most of all. Just because you have a craving or you come into a trigger moment, doesn't mean you have to use or drink. You don't have to give into it. Change your behavior and you'll change the addiction.

"I'm so glad you spoke with me...I feel better now."

If you have a sponser call them right away for support. They can be very helpful to you. If you go to meetings, get to one. Find comfort from your spouse or good friends, just talking about how you're feeling can help the craving subside. The power of prayer can help. Take a moment to recall all of the problems you have had because you were drunk or too high. Occupy your mind with something fun that doesn't involve using or drinking. Play a game with your children, go to a park and run thru the exercise routines along the path. Go see a movie you're interested in watching. Play tennis, go swimming. Get into playing a sport like baseball or bowling and go play. Paint that area in your home thats in need of a lift. Rearrange your furniture. Take a hot shower or bath. Whatever you choose to do that can help you to take your mind off of that craving. Learn to fall back on those things instead of giving into your craving. You'll find that when you stick with this method it really does work. Because cravings are fleeting. Exercising is a perfect way to get rid of cravings. Because exercising releases chemicals in our brains such as Endorphin, which helps to decrease stress, gives us a euphoric feeling, and helps to decrease appetite(for those trying to lose weight)and improves our immunity system. Serotonin is another neurochemical released in our brains when we exercise. It is a natural mood enhancer and decreases symptoms of depression. BDNF aka brain derived neurotrophic factor also released into the brain when we exercise. It has been shown to help reduce the symptoms of depression and also enhance brain health and memory.

There are many other ways to feel good naturally without having to use a chemical or drink alcohol. Think of all the things you can do sober. Its also a hell of alot healthier for us. Over time people are successful and they find their own strategies for dealing with their cravings and triggers, and you can too. But when we first start out it would be better for us to have support from others that have been there and done that, and are now no longer addicts. Thats the main goal. You want to no longer be an addict. You want to find ways to overcome your cravings and triggers. I guarantee you this, if you truly want to no longer be an addict, by following the above advice, it will work, if you just give it a chance to work for you. After all when you can wake up everyday and start your day without having to use or drink. You face the day with a positive outlook. You feel good physically and emotionally. You can handle the routine of life-pressures that will always be there. You know you are able to handle life on a clean, sober, capable, positive mind. When you know you don't need or want to drink or use any longer, its a thing of the past. Then you'll know you can handle your cravings and triggers. With each day that goes by, you get stronger and those cravings and triggers get weaker. You gain control over yourself. You are truly happy and grateful. Take it one day at a time. You can do it. Enjoy the day.



For other inspirational reading visit: http://myselfselfhelp.blogspot.com
Read more about the benefits of Exercise at: http://www.livestrong.com/article/320144-does-exercise-release-a-chemical-in-the-brain/#ixzz1c2e6POQr


Copyright(c)2011.What Can I Do About CRAVINGS or TRIGGERS? Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

The Rainbow Tree - An edited version that improves our quality of life.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Learn to let go of people that cause you pain. Hold fast to those people in our lives that lift us up and help us feel happy. Let go of all the things that you can do nothing about. Mistakes made in the past are there to help us to learn not to do them again and to help someone else who we see is going down that same path. Lift others up that seem to be down, sometimes a word of encouragement can make all the difference. Never be too quick to judge someone you don't know.

For as much negative things that are always around us in our daily lives there is a vast amount of positives. Always think of the possibilities instead of the obstacles that can trip us up. Take on the day as if it was your last. Take nothing or no one for granted. Be grateful for your health, loves, beauty in the world, things that make you happy and rainbows.

...everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives. It is a path we all must take. Enjoy the day.


Written by Author Unknown with excerpts added in by Sherrie Vitello

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Copyright(c)2011.The Rainbow Tree, written by Author Unknown and edited by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.