Greeting Pain with Mindfulness

Buddist teachings tell us to greet pain with mindfulness, to notice how the pain moves through many phases and to pay attention to the nuances of constrictions, pulsation, intensity and the diminishing of intensity. In mindfulness, we keep our attention focused on these changes even as we experience them.  We observe the flow of our thoughts, feelings and sensations. We become explorers of our inner world, and we learn a great deal about ourselves.

As we do so, we gain insight into the cause and core of our karmic condition, our spiritual initiations and the lessons we are meant to learn. We grow in humility, endurance and appreciation for little respites and moments of joy. We expand in courage and acceptance of life's ups and downs. When we open our hearts to living peacefully with ourselves and fellow encounters, we develop a calming effect on ourselves and others around us. And above all, we become acutely aware that our consciousness transcends the human condition.  

Whether we are dealing with physical pain, distressing feelings or both, we can train ourselves to repond with peaceful contemplation. We are told to embrace pain with courage. Yet that is a somewhat dismaying thought to many of us. It is a bit like wanting to embrace a porcupine. Who needs it? But it is very true, psychologically and spiritually, that pain opens our heart. Pain melts our hardness of heart, humbles us and quickens our awareness of our higher power(God). Actually, it is because of pain that many are on a spiritual path today. True happiness is when everything we think, say and do is in harmony. Enjoy the day.

Written by: Sherrie Vitello

Excerpts taken from the book: Emotions, Transforming Anger, Fear and Pain. Written by: Marilyn C Barrick, Ph.D.

Each Step

Most of us are on a long uphill climb at this moment. It is a climb we are making together and yet a climb we can't do for each other. I can reach out my hand to you, and you can grasp my hand in return. But my steps are my own, just as you, too, can only take one step at a time.
For brief periods we skip, even run, along the uphill path. The rocks and the occasional boulder momentarily trip us up. We need patience and trust that the summit is still achievable. We can help one another have patience.

We can remind one another to trust. We look back at the periods that devastated us so long ago. And now we are here. We have climbed this far. We are stronger, saner, more secure. Each step makes easier the next step..each step puts us on more solid ground. 

Excerpts taken from the wonderful book:  Each Day A New Beginning by Karen Casey

What can be done about those "low-times."

We all have those days when we feel a "low time", things aren't flowing as well as we'd like them to. Not so much depression, just a "not so up feeling." Our positive thoughts and ideas have taken a back seat to feeling low and unmotivated. Don't despair...this does happen to all of us at some point or another. It could be due to things happening in the world around us or a sad time in our lives, due to the loss of someone we love or something that meant alot to us. Or just the daily grind of trying to make a living. Usually this "low time" is short lived. But if you're having trouble getting over something like this, no doubt, reach out to someone for help or get professional counseling. Don't be apprehensive about applying what is available to us in our time of need. We are not robots, we are feeling, emotional, caring human beings, at least most of us are, so reaching out for some support is not a bad thing. It could help you save your sobriety and get you back on track.

You can also give it a few days and see how you're feeling. For women, I would suggest this especially because we have hormone swings every month and they can play a serious role in messing with our emotions. You may even need the assistance of a medical professional to help with those hormone swings.

I have found that a healthy diet, exercise, and a positive outlook no matter what, can do just as well, if not better than medications. But check with your doctor, if you can afford to, just to be sure. If you can't afford a doctor, and with the cost of living today it's hard to keep regular check ups with a doctor, unless you can afford it. It won't hurt you to change your diet for a healthy one, exercising everyday for at least 20-40 minutes, allowing yourself to break a good sweat, and practicing some form of meditation a couple times a week, like, yoga or tai-chi. Dedicate yourself to this faithfully and I assure you, you will feel better and see a positive difference in how you look at things. Written by Sherrie Vitello 

But remember this: It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity and faith and security.  By Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"I may run into some rocks or even a boulder today. I have stepped around them in the past. I will do so again."   Excerpt taken from the wonderful book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey.

Enjoy the day!

Self Healing

Self  Healing begins when we except the fact that what we are doing to ourselves in our lives is not working out the way we would truly want them to. Whatever negative things you are doing to yourself, your body, your spirit has an effect on the other decisions you make in your life. If you're hung up on your past because you have had wrong things happen to you or you carry guilt due to some wrong things you may have done, you need to realize that the only way you can change those negative feelings is to let the things go that you can't make ammends to. You are living in the here and now and that opens up untold possibilities for new growth. 

Our inner self is enticed in new directions when our attention is fully in the present. When our minds are still on last night's argument or tommorrow's board meeting, we wear blinders to the activity at hand. Every single moment has something for us. Maybe a new piece of information, a piece that solves a problem that's been puzzling us. Perhaps a chance to make a new friend, one that will be there in a time of need. Letting go of yesterday frees us. We need not be burdened. It is gone. Our lives could be eased, so much, if we kept our focus on the experience at hand, where the problems we ponder have their solutions. Always. 

Being open to the present is our only chance for growth. These experiences today in our lives beckon us forward along the path meant for us. We are not guaranteed only joy today. But we are promised security. We may not be free of twinges of fear or confusion, but we can learn to trust even in the midst of adversity. We can remember that power greater than ourselves, whenever and wherever our steps are uncertain. Dwelling on our rebuffs, our rejections, invites further criticism. Attention to now and to the person here, now, is the only rightful response to life. Not being here, now, invites others to turn away, just as we have turned away.

   
If we listen to ourselves, to the innermost voice of our spirits, we know that we have the power to heal ourselves. Self-healing begins with making our own decisions about what we wear, what we do, who we are and deciding that we will be true to ourselves. With the help of our spiritual guide or higher power, we can resist the temptations to betray ourselves, for these temptations are born of fear; the fear that we are not good enough to be our "own physicians."  To except things that you cannot change, the power to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. To give away our powers binds us and causes us to suffer. But we can go to others for help without losing our own strength.


Written by Sherrie Vitello
Excerpts taken from the wonderful book: Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey.

Do you believe in Love at first sight?.....

Ahhh...love, there's nothing better. When you're in "love" life is better, sex is better, company is better, all things are wonderful. We kind of float on air. Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah....it's impossible to be in love with someone at first sight.(right?). First off humans are attracted by what they see, so looks are the first thing we notice, then there is the way someone smells (meaning the pheromones) believe it or not, we spend billions of dollars each year trying to find ways to smell more attractive to the opposite sex. Some cultures in other countries would rather have their own body scent instead of dabbing on alittle scent enhancer like, cologne or perfume. 

The color of ones eyes or hair play as factors of attraction but once in love with someone, does the color of their eyes or hair really matter? Really? The way a person carries themselves, the character of the person and so on are also factors in what makes someone attractive and what we love about someone. My mother use to say "...the greater the need, the greater the love..." I'm not saying a person can't love out of need, but even that type of love takes time to cultivate and nurture. I think we all have need of some kind, whether male or female. It's impossible for anyone to know someone so well at first sight that they immediately fall in love. Perhaps what we're really falling for is the outward appearance of what we first see.
       
Although that may be the first indication that we are attracted to someone, it's not the best time to pledge ones heart without getting to know that person first. Have you ever met someone that was so pretty or so handsome they seemed magical? Then they began to speak and as soon as they opened their mouth and mind you saw their intellect, values or morals, and it made you want to get away from that person as fast as you could? That's why you can't have "love at first sight". Lust at first site for sure, but not true love.  Many people think you can have love at first sight...these are the people that usually end up...broke up.

Now maybe...once in a blue-moon you might be fortunate enough to find that one person in a million that you will get along with immediately and just know this is the one for you. But sorry romantics...that is too far and few between. I suggest getting to know the person well before you start with the "I love you's". Too many people make the mistake of thinking lust is love...then when that gets old, people are left heart-broken, so don't make that mistake, unless you can read minds...there is no such thing as actual "love at first sight."

Of course if you're looking for just a casual, fun, shallow relationship, that's fine, but be sure you're on the level about that with the other person. That way you both have an understanding as to what to expect in the relationship and no one get's hurt. Another example is: have you ever met a person that you thought was incredibly good-looking, drop-dead gorgeous and you think you're "in-love" really "in-love", then you start getting to know that person and you find out that they're about as compatible with you as you would be compatible sleeping with a catcus.

All I'm saying is if you're looking to be "in love" true love...take time to get to know yourself first, then you'll be able to recognize what you would like to have in a partner. Be honest with yourself and your love interest. Love them for who they are not for what you can change them into. These are key to enduring the tests of time and for achieving a lasting relationship. And don't be in such a rush to find true love, believe me you'll find it, and when it's right...you'll know. Enjoy the Day!
Written by: Sherrie Vitello

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Sometimes what we need is right in front of us.

  Today I woke up feeling rather down, I hated the idea that I might be slipping back into my state of depression, which I thought I had lost along time ago. I was affraid it had reared it's ugly head, and that I would feel like I use to when I thought nothing really mattered. I held my face in my hands and began to pray. I didn't want to go back to feeling that way. It terrified me to think that it could happen. I stopped myself from thinking negative and I thought; "Ok, what can I do that will make me feel better?" I knew I had to do my morning routine of exercising even tho' at that moment I really didn't feel like it.

I knew I had to be positive for my spouse, so he could go off to work feeling good about things at home. I dare not show him my worry. Not now! It's not that I can't talk to him about things like this, it's just that I knew if I started to tell him how bad I was feeling, it would bring him down too. He's always such a happy morning person. I love that about him. No...I was going to fight this off. I am determined to find a way to channel these negative feelings. So I got up and began my morning routine. After I was alone, I was still feeling down. I thought; "Ok...I'll get my day started."

I put on my workout clothes and began my morning exercise routine. I realized my heart wasn't into it. I made myself channel those negative feelings into my workout. I would breath-in a state of positive, relaxed emotion and breath out the negative, worried feelings. I really worked hard at focusing on that technique. Alittle more than 1/2 way through my workout I was surprised to notice that I began to feel better. I was actually feeling better...Yaaaay! I was really glad about that. I know when we exercise it causes our brain to release endorphines, the feel good hormones, and I think that's wonderful!

It's a good thing to get into an exercise routine. Not only will it help to keep us healthy but it truly is good for our mind and emotions. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't just start exercising yesterday, it's been about 8 months. The difference is this is one of the those times I actually was able to use my exercise routine to help remove negative feelings and create a more positive state of mind. I always felt good after I would exercise but this time it was different. It was actually like a cure for what was ailing me. If you just do stretching and flexibility exercises, yoga, pillates, or a higher impact exercise routine...

...once you get started I believe anyone will reap the benefits of this. It will make you feel grateful. I got started because I was putting on weight and I wasn't comfortable in my skin any longer. I needed a change, so I began to make changes in my diet and I began an exercise routine. I still have a ways to go until I'm satisfied with myself, but I know now that this is the way to go. Here I've been looking for ways to improve my life, myself, my outlook and it was right here in front of me all along. I guess what I'm trying to say is "sometimes we need something to help us and we don't realize that it's right in front of us." Amazing!  

                                                     Enjoy the day!

The Battle From Within

When I was a younger person, wild and full of life, I never thought of being older. I figured "then" it was to far away from me. For now at this point of my younger life I was not only young, bolder, vibrant and strong, I could not see the side of myself that would be my downfall.  What force could there be but my own. Nothing could harness the strong, able frame I've become. I could run, run far and strong, like a prancing horse on an open plain, then only to be settle and wait for another day. 

I could not be held, forced or driven to anything but by my own will. As I grew older I thought, how could I get ahead with my life, how can I make the grade. I thought nothing could harness my ambition. Nothing could...but something did. I grew emotionally crippled and fearful. I hadn't realized that I created my own monster. In many shades this monster came. In many forms it feasted on my spirit.

I could not lock it away or hide it from view. My shame although hidden, weighed me down like a ball and chain. I had to face my monster and deplete it of it's strength, so I could slay it, stop it, stamp it out of my mind, body and soul. I fought with all my inner strength and I reached down inside for more. More strength!  I allowed hate to take over.

I hated what this monster was doing to me, how it changed me. It's a trickster and gave me a false sense of self and security. My hatred for this monster became my motivation, so strong until I could wrench this monster off my back. I was sickened by the thoughts that filled my mind of how I once clinged to the effects this monster gave me. For a moment...I thought I can't live without it. I was wrong.

Once I had knocked the monster off, pushed it away, it took everything I had to grab hold, shake it loose, strangle it from my life and kill it's desire to destroy me from the inside out. Get rid of it's desire, once and for all. I've made it through the struggle, I've climbed out of the valley of self annhilation. The road I once trudged is no longer. I can stand up straight and carry myself with dignity. I can wake up free! No more monster on my back. I've beaten it

I now realized the power of my will. I now have a shield around me. The desire to destroy a monster before it destroys me. As hard as this was to accomplish I only had to reach down within myself and make the effort count. Stay true to my self discipline. Take heed to the words of others wisdom. Take pride in the strides of accomplishments. No matter how small, they all count.  So in other words, for those of you out there trying to stay clean, going to meetings, going to detox, don't quit...ever! Sometimes it may take 2 or 3 tries before getting it right...maybe even more, but you will get it right so long as you keep trying to change for the better. 
Enjoy the day!
Written by Sherrie Vitello