Addiction and Denial - The 2 Components That Make Up Addiction.

   I was researching some ideas about articles on addiction and I came across Dr.  Robert Lefever's video's. I reviewed a few of them and found that they really focus on the indepth problems of addiction. The how's, why's, what can be done, how can I help myself, etc. The 3 most common addictions are alcohol, drugs, and eating disorders(both anorexia & bulimia.) The one thing I found was although we don't recognize it when we're actively in our addiction, we do have control over what happens to us. Once we accept the fact that we need to get help. We can overcome the powers of the addiction. But we first have to acknowledge and except that we need help to fight our problem.

Take a moment and have a look at this video, which is informative and very helpful for any of us either just beginning to get clean and sober or to help us stay on track of our sobriety. Dr.  Lefever makes some really "right on the head" points. He knows what will work for addicts who want to change for the better. He himself was an addict for 21 years, he didn't think he had a problem either, like alot of addicts think. Until the pain of his addiction was so bad that he had to make a change. Watch the video, you'll see what I mean. It just might help to get someone back on the right track to living instead of killing themselves.
Thanks for watching and reading my post. Enjoy the day!

Dr Robert Lefever-MA, MB, B Chir. - In 1986, Founded The PROMIS Recovery Centre, which pioneered and developed a new approach combining the benefits of several proven therapeutic models. The approach was so radical it was initially met with scepticism by the medical press. However, word rapidly spread, through patients’ recommendations, that the approach was miles ahead of anything else available. We quickly established ourselves as the only place to go.

Keep Your Eye on Your Goals No Matter What Comes Your Way!

                       (Video-Source by kannanssss)
Without failure we would never learn to do better next time. All of the negatives that seem to try to divert us from reaching our goals are there to make us better at what we do. Persistence is a unique mental strength, a strength that is essential to comb at the fierce power of the repeated rejections and numerous other obstacles that sit in waiting and all apart of winning in a fast moving, ever changing world. Highly successful men and women who have cut a path for others to follow, while leaving their mark on history all shared one common thing, everyone of these people were persistent.

So the next time you feel like you're getting no where, we all do sometimes, that's the time we truly need to put our best foot forward and keep working at our goals. It's when times seem there hardest that must not quit. Try applying affirmations to your daily routine. Here are 2 of my favorites.....

..."Success is NOT final, Failure is NOT fatal, it's having the courage to continue that matters." by Winston Churchill.

..."Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit." by Napoleon Hill. 

When we apply to our climb towards our success the thought process of succeeding instead of the fear factors of failing, we already have made progress towards our goals. Now, we keep going, steady, patiently, with persistence, never allowing anything to remove from our minds eye, our plateau of  our goals. When we believe in what we are trying to accomplish, we make way for that accomplishment to become reality.


  Enjoy the day.

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Copyright(c)2011.Keep Your Eye on Your Goals No Matter What Comes Your Way! By Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Keeping Up With The Joneses - That In Itself Is A Real Tragety



"Hey..I have to get one just like that!"

Why is it that we humans, or alot of humans, seem to think that they have to "keep up with the Joneses?" All thru' our lives we observe how there are so many people in our society that feel that they have to have the same style of clothes, the same vehicle, the same material things that someone else my have. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about looking up to or admiring someone for their character here, this is more about the material things that people seem to think define them. Sure it's great to have a nice wardrobe or a nice car. And perhaps these things do define us to some degree. But these material things are not who we are, at least they shouldn't be, they are material, they can show our success or our financial status but they can't make us who we are as a human being. Sadly for some people, they never get that. Have you ever noticed some of those people that are "well off financially" have a way of looking at others like they are much better than most people? Why is that? What happens to the character or personalities of people that have alot of material things? If you've been around these kind of people, you may have noticed how judgemental some of them can be. It's almost like they forget that somewhere along their family tree, their ancestors all got started somewhere too and probably with very little means. Reflecting back to school days is some the most painful memories for some, because they can recall the way they were treated just because they didn't have all the material things some others had.
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"Why do they have to make fun of me?"

They were made fun of, ridiculed, picked on, out cast for no real reason other than the fact that they didn't have the designer clothes, the nice car, the current hair style, or the cool school supplies. Like alot of us, alot of us didn't have those things either and we would hang out with others that were on a similar material level. Of course the guy with the coolest car was always admired and all the girls wanted to be with that guy. Unfortunately people that had alot of material things would act stuck up or judgemental of others with less material things. Once in awhile though, you'd meet someone that had all the material things and they were truly a nice person. They weren't judgemental, they didn't criticize others, they would help you out with your studies, if asked to, they seemed to treat others as they would like to be treated themselves. So what's wrong here? Why is it that some people that have more material things than others seem to develop an attitude of disdainfulness towards those who aren't on the same material level?  Are human beings taught this way of thinking from there parants or peers that are also well off? If so why? Just because someone has more material things than someone else, does that make them better?

You can take two people and stand them side by side. Person A only makes $20,000 a year, person B is well off, makes over $95,000 or more a year. Ok, this is going to seem abit strange but it's a way of comparing them, stick with me for a minute. Picture these 2 people in your mind, see them standing side by side, got it in your minds eye? Ok, now picture them naked...no really, picture them without any clothes on for a second, look at their bodies from head to toe. Not much difference right? With the exception that some parts may be bigger than others i.e. their hands, feet, longer hair, keep it clean now, this is PG rated LOL! Ok back to the point. Now picture them dressing themselves. Whether they start with the bottom half first or the top half first, isn't important. But as you see them dressing themselves, they really don't do anything much different than anyone else, they really don't look any different than anyone else. So what is it that causes a person that has more material things than others, seem to also have a different way of seeing others? I could never understand why that is so. Don't get me wrong, not all well off people are this way. But you've got to admit there is a majority of people that are like that. I want to know why? Where is it etched in stone that a person that has more material things is better than those who don't?
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The human factor

Do you think people that are well off materially are better people at heart than others? No of course not. There is good and bad people from all walks of life. Being good at heart stems from what we are taught as children, life-lessons etc. But there are people that are well off materially that "think" they are better than others. So it would stand to reason that these kind of people were taught to think this way. That could be the great divide between all people. When we "think" that we are better than everyone else, humans tend to forget the human factor. In general, a human factor is a physical or cognitive property of an individual or social behavior which is specific to humans and influences functioning of technological systems as well as human-environment equilibriums. Equilibrium is the condition of a system in which competing influences are balanced.   I believe people thinking they are better than others because they have more material things, stems from way back in time. I mean, even back to when people were first on the planet. And if so, why? Could our creators have been responsible for placing this in our genes? Where did this way of thinking derive from? Perhaps it has to do with humans having free-will. Our creators gave us free-will, so we could rationalize, solve, decide choose the way we think. That being so could be the reason why alot of humans believe if they have more material things, they are better than others. But even if this is true, I'm not saying these people are better than others. Maybe just better off. In a material sense

Quality of Life is so much more than material things.

As our children grow they aspire to be astronauts, doctors, physicists, great chef's, teachers, artists, and alot of them try to reach that goal and succeed. I believe whatever life-lessons are taught or learned by our children inspire them to become the adult they want to be. No doubt when we are raised with more means than others, we can accomplish things easier. Not to say, that anyone on any material level can't accomplish things, they can. What all of us need to remember is we have the right to excel in our lives anyway we desire. We have it in us to become anything we want. It really doesn't matter how much material things we have. What matters is how we utilize the time we are given and how we utilize material things. Hopefully for the better, not for self serving, vanity or conceited ways. Our quality of life is really what should matter to us, not the material things we acquire in our lives. Perhaps some people are born into being better off from the start and the purpose of this isn't so these people can brag and show off all their material things. Altho' alot of them do. Maybe they are meant to have all these things for another purpose, to help those less fortunate or to teach others how to be successful. Its just that somewhere along the line these well-off human beings forgot about that purpose. They began to think only about themselves and how being well-off benefits only them. It has become a "keeping up with the Joneses", dog eat dog world for alot of people. That in itself is the real tragety.  Enjoy the day.

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Copyright(c)2011.Keeping Up With The Joneses - The Effects On The Human Race.Written by Sherrie Vitello, All Rights Reserved.

What Can I Do About CRAVINGS or TRIGGERS?

Steps for Dealing With the Triggers That Lead You Back to Your Addiction

Get off the Addiction Ride to No Where!

Ok, you've made your choice. You've decided to stop using drugs or drinking alcohol. You believe in going to meetings for support, you read all the material written about addictions, you've decided to stay away from friends that use or drink and you're determined, this time, to make it. To not be an addict any longer. You want to wake up feeling good about living without having to pop a pill or take a drink of alcohol. Things are going ok, but could be better. You still have the "CRAVING MONSTER" on your back. You come into situations, whether negative or positive, that use to be triggers that made you use or drink before. Whether it is a happy time, a cook-out event, visiting relatives or friends, you use to have a drink, pop a pill, snort or shoot your drug of choice. But now you have to deal with these events without falling back on your addiction. It sucks! It's hard, but you tell yourself you're not going to give into those cravings or triggers. Sometimes when we are deciding to truly stop using or drinking, we fear knowing that we will have withdrawal symptoms, we think that we can't survive without our drug or drink of choice. We miss and desire that first hit feeling we get when we use or drink. It's very powerful. This is where we face our demon. Whether it's drugs or alcohol, we have to face this craving and deal with it properly. How many times have you had that strong craving for either your drug or drink of choice, even after a long time of being clean or sober?

"I'm not giving into this craving!"

You've been thru detox, you've been weaned off of your drugs or alcohol, you're clean, sober, straight, dry however you call it. So why are you still experiencing these cravings? Sometimes it's so strong that you think you'll fall back into your addiction. Sometimes people do. But you are at the end of your rope of using or drinking. You want the desire for this addiction gone! What can you do? When you crave your drugs or drink, you need to deal with the craving quickly. If you don't you can find yourself right back in the same chaos of using or drinking again. Feeling this craving, desire, hunger for, compulsion doesn't mean you have to give into it. You can start by reducing the things you use to do that would always be a trigger for you to use or drink. You will have to stay away from certain places and friends that influence you to stay in the addictive behavior. A true friend would not try to make you use or drink, when they know you're trying to quit. Cravings happen to everyone when they are changing their addictive ways into non-addictive ways. But they do eventually stop being so over bearing. By getting into things that are positive influences for you is another way to curb cravings and triggers. Start by developing a healthier outlook towards your life. Start by learning to live a more balanced life. Remember this most of all. Just because you have a craving or you come into a trigger moment, doesn't mean you have to use or drink. You don't have to give into it. Change your behavior and you'll change the addiction.

"I'm so glad you spoke with me...I feel better now."

If you have a sponser call them right away for support. They can be very helpful to you. If you go to meetings, get to one. Find comfort from your spouse or good friends, just talking about how you're feeling can help the craving subside. The power of prayer can help. Take a moment to recall all of the problems you have had because you were drunk or too high. Occupy your mind with something fun that doesn't involve using or drinking. Play a game with your children, go to a park and run thru the exercise routines along the path. Go see a movie you're interested in watching. Play tennis, go swimming. Get into playing a sport like baseball or bowling and go play. Paint that area in your home thats in need of a lift. Rearrange your furniture. Take a hot shower or bath. Whatever you choose to do that can help you to take your mind off of that craving. Learn to fall back on those things instead of giving into your craving. You'll find that when you stick with this method it really does work. Because cravings are fleeting. Exercising is a perfect way to get rid of cravings. Because exercising releases chemicals in our brains such as Endorphin, which helps to decrease stress, gives us a euphoric feeling, and helps to decrease appetite(for those trying to lose weight)and improves our immunity system. Serotonin is another neurochemical released in our brains when we exercise. It is a natural mood enhancer and decreases symptoms of depression. BDNF aka brain derived neurotrophic factor also released into the brain when we exercise. It has been shown to help reduce the symptoms of depression and also enhance brain health and memory.

There are many other ways to feel good naturally without having to use a chemical or drink alcohol. Think of all the things you can do sober. Its also a hell of alot healthier for us. Over time people are successful and they find their own strategies for dealing with their cravings and triggers, and you can too. But when we first start out it would be better for us to have support from others that have been there and done that, and are now no longer addicts. Thats the main goal. You want to no longer be an addict. You want to find ways to overcome your cravings and triggers. I guarantee you this, if you truly want to no longer be an addict, by following the above advice, it will work, if you just give it a chance to work for you. After all when you can wake up everyday and start your day without having to use or drink. You face the day with a positive outlook. You feel good physically and emotionally. You can handle the routine of life-pressures that will always be there. You know you are able to handle life on a clean, sober, capable, positive mind. When you know you don't need or want to drink or use any longer, its a thing of the past. Then you'll know you can handle your cravings and triggers. With each day that goes by, you get stronger and those cravings and triggers get weaker. You gain control over yourself. You are truly happy and grateful. Take it one day at a time. You can do it. Enjoy the day.



For other inspirational reading visit: http://myselfselfhelp.blogspot.com
Read more about the benefits of Exercise at: http://www.livestrong.com/article/320144-does-exercise-release-a-chemical-in-the-brain/#ixzz1c2e6POQr


Copyright(c)2011.What Can I Do About CRAVINGS or TRIGGERS? Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

The Rainbow Tree - An edited version that improves our quality of life.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Learn to let go of people that cause you pain. Hold fast to those people in our lives that lift us up and help us feel happy. Let go of all the things that you can do nothing about. Mistakes made in the past are there to help us to learn not to do them again and to help someone else who we see is going down that same path. Lift others up that seem to be down, sometimes a word of encouragement can make all the difference. Never be too quick to judge someone you don't know.

For as much negative things that are always around us in our daily lives there is a vast amount of positives. Always think of the possibilities instead of the obstacles that can trip us up. Take on the day as if it was your last. Take nothing or no one for granted. Be grateful for your health, loves, beauty in the world, things that make you happy and rainbows.

...everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives. It is a path we all must take. Enjoy the day.


Written by Author Unknown with excerpts added in by Sherrie Vitello

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Copyright(c)2011.The Rainbow Tree, written by Author Unknown and edited by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.

Have You Had A Hug Today? - The Outstanding Benefits of Hugging

Did you know that when you hug someone it not only gives you a good feeling but it also helps to reduce deseases that can effect your overall health i.e. heart desease and blood pressure issues. Research has found that hugging increases the bonding or love hormone, Oxytocin, which decreases the risk of heart desease. Also hugging decreases the hormone, Cortisol, which decreases blood pressure. Although studies show that the decreases in Cortisol(the Fat-Causing-hormone)is mostly found in women. Oxytocin was found to increase in both men and women, especially those in healthy, positive, loving relationships. A research study was conducted by Dr. Karen Grewen, Researcher/Psychologist and results showed that handholding and hugging decreased the effects of cortisol caused by stress.

Interesting Facts from Wikipedia: Oxytocin is best known for its roles in female reproduction. It is released in large amounts after distension of the cervix and uterus during labor and after stimulation, facilitating birth and breastfeeding. Recent studies have begun to investigate oxytocin's role in various behaviors, including orgasm, social recognition, pair bonding, anxiety and maternal behaviors. For this reason, it is sometimes referred to as the "love hormone."

Cortisol is a steroid hormone or glucocorticoid, produced by the adrenal gland. Sometimes referred to as the fat-causing hormone. Studies show that due to the release of cortisol in the body it has been connected to increased abdominal fat. It is released in response to stress and a low level of blood glucocorticoids. Its primary functions are to increase blood sugar through gluconeogenesis; suppress the immune system; and aid in fat, protein and carbohydrate metabolism. It also decreases bone formation. During pregnancy, increased production of cortisol between weeks 30-32 initiates production of fetal lung surfactant to promote maturation of the lungs.

So in other words, the more positive and stable relationships are the better it will benefit our health. Perhaps those peace loving hippies from the seventies that would always say: "Make love not war.." weren't far off the mark of the benefits of holding and hugging one another. As human beings we are social creatures by nature. Studies have shown that people who are married, have friends and are social, tend to be healthier and happier. Which makes me wonder about people that are anti-social or have antisocial personality disorders. There must be some sort of emotional or biological distortion with those people that cause them to be that way. Some people don't even want to be touched, let alone hugged, and they will avoid getting close to anyone physically.

It has been found that those people have other emotional issues that could probably use some form of counseling. This is not a ridiculous claim. The absence of touch can have an effect on our emotions. The positive benefits touch has on us emotionally and physically are key to retaining a heathly sense of well being. I can't help but think that how we feel about getting touched or hugged stems from when we are babies. A child can grow up disturbed or having social problems with others due to them not being nurtured properly, which normally involves loving hugs and positive reinforcement. Where as a child that was raised in a loving family that was hugged and nurtured grew up having self-assurance and they too were a loving human-being. Of course we can't dismiss the fact that no matter how much we love our children some will fall into the wrong crowd of peers and can become lost and change their entire outlook towards others and life.

For them, even though they came from a loving, nurturing childhood, they have chosen to be influenced by others, whether positive or negative, and they will have to learn from their experiences. Even so, usually people will come to their senses once they've realized they have made a mistake, and they will fall back on the key character builders they learned as a child. Hopefully those were positive reinforcements and nurturing times. Positive touch(or stroking)has been shown to facilitate physical and psychological functioning paritcularly in terms of reducing stress, relieving pain, increasing the ability to cope and general overall health. So when you wake up in the morning take a few moments to hug your spouse, your children, your pets. Even when its appropriate, hugging your co-workers is extremely beneficial too. This can significantly improve your quality of life. Enjoy the day!

\Sources: University of North Carolina, Dr. Karen Grewen-Researcher/Psychologist, Dr. Ben Kim-Natural Health Care, Wikipedia Encyclopedia

Copyright(c)2011.Have You Had A Hug Today?-The Outstanding Benefits of Hugging.Written by Sherrie Vitello.All Rights Reserved.

Please God... (A Prayer for The Day)

Please God help us all to do & live by what is right, in a world that overflows with wrong. Help us to find our way back when we've gone astray in our lives. Let us walk with wisdom of knowing we all must trust our destiny which you have laid out for us, no matter how unclear it may seem.

Help us when we feel weak or affraid. Guide us when we're not sure. Teach us to be strong and to believe in ourselves. Help us to be content even as we struggle & work towards our dreams & goals. Lead us down the path we need to achieve those goals. Teach us not to be brought down by all the evil that effects our world. Help us to always love each other & help each other.

With our faith intact help us to continue to complete our mission that each one of us has in this life. No matter how down trodden we become, give us the strength to carry on. Help us to have patience to teach those who have not yet come to the understanding of how things should be.

Teach us to forgive the wrong doings which are cast upon us & caused by others who view the world with jealousy & hurtful ways. But mostly, please God, when its time for each of us to leave this shell that contains our true light, once we meet face to face, judge us not for the wrong doings & senseless sins but for the good we have done in our lives. Thank you for this day. Amen

I'm not a religious fanatic, I don't go to church every Sunday, and I don't always behave. Altho' I do believe in God, my views of him are not what most people think about him. But one thing I do know and that is the "Power of Prayer" is apparent. When we feel as tho' our prayers are not answered it may be because we don't truly understand the answer as yet. I tell you this because I've had prayers answered in my life. Coincidence?, I don't believe things happen that way. I always feel better after I pray. Whether its due to praying being a form of self talk or not, prayers are answered. Some higher power or whatever you conceive God to be.. is listening. Enjoy the day.


           Copyright(c)2011.Please God...(A Prayer for The Day) Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.