The Choice Is Yours.

We all know that planning ahead is always a good idea. Although sometimes in our lives things just pop-up unexpectedly.  What I'm talking about is your future. When I was growing up no one ever discussed with me the ideals of having a successful career, or going on to college.  I wished they did.  As I grew older and more independent I remember thinking how great it's going to be to have my own car, party with friends, my own place to live, my independence, no one telling me what to do, earning my own money. 

Although I did acquire all those things...I forgot about having to pays bills, the stress of getting up and going to work, sexual pressures, making sure I had enough money for food. But mostly...how was I going to take care of my 3 beautiful little girls?  Sure I did the marriage thing, had children, got divorced.  Then it was up to me to make it through each day, this time with my 3 baby girls. What was I going to do?  I've pretty much learned early in life that it's better to count on yourself then other people. Of course sometimes your family or close friends can be a life saver. 

I was determined to be able to take care of my girls. At that time...that bottle of wine was getting better looking everyday. Since I married young and began a family young(like alot of folks), all that thinking of being on my own, having my own place to live, supporting my own life, was now a distant memory. Now I had to think about surviving the bills, supplying food and meeting the needs of 3 daughters. Yup...I was in control. (Not!!) The point I'm making here is things in life can happen unexpectedly or planned. It's really up to what choices we make in our lives. 

If we decide to marry young, we can put off creating a family and continue with careers, schooling etc.  We can continue getting our lives together so our futures won't be an unexpected happening.  Or stay single and do the same thing. Again...choice is always up to us.  So what are you going to do?  You can only use drugs and alcohol so long before it catches up to you. By way of physical destruction, emotional hangovers, break downs, or death.  Or you can choose a better way. Plan for a better future. You, as individuals, are worth pursuing a better way of life. 

This is one thing about the American Way, I love. We have a choice to end up on the streets or living in a decent place. Once we realize that using drugs and drinking alcohol is a road to destruction, we can begin to heal ourselves by breaking the habit. But again...it's your choice.  I know 'the addicts thinking' will say: "...it's because of that, or this person that I'm like this..."  WRONG!  We each made the choice to take that drink and to do those drugs ...remember?!...and now you're so screwed up that you can't even reason clearly
as to how you got this way. Now it's your choice to get yourself out of this hell you're living or stay that way and end up where you really don't want to be.  It's a difficult process...it's not easy, I'm not going to bullshit you.  But you MUST remember...you are worth having a good life and being happy. Yes, you can be happy. Once you get your head out of the clouds and come to alittle clarity, you'll begin to see that there is a better way of living. So it's up to each of us, individually, to make our choices for our lives. I hope that all of us can make a positive choice, a good choice for all concerned. 

We weren't put on this earth to exist in the haze of addiction.  We can have control over our lives, if we just stick to being good to ourselves and caring about how we live. Put out the effort to create a better life. It will happen. The choice is yours.

Written by: Sherrie Vitello,  Enjoy the day.

Reflections for the New Year.

Well it's the New Year, 2011.  We all have to get use to writing the correct year now....like every new year.  So looking back on 2010, how was it for you?  Do you think it was a good year?  Did you accomplish things you've planned to do?  Were you able to achieve all of last years new years resolutions?  Well if you're like me, you accomplished some but not all of them.  But don't fret...there's always this new year.

We have to let go of the negative things or events that took place last year. Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now.  If there are things that helped us to make changes for the better, then carry them over into the new year. If there are things that we can improve on even better, then let's try to do that this year.  Make up your mind to be a better person.  To improve on things that were good last year but always have room for improvement. Whatever you feel can help you to exist in a positive light about yourself, your life, your situation, just do it!

Each day a new beginning.

This next excerpt is taken from the wonderful book: Each Day A New Beginning, by Karen Casey.  Acceptance of our past, acceptance of the conditions presently in our lives that we cannot change, brings relief. It brings the peacefulness we so often, so frantically seek.  We can put the past behind us. Each day a new beginning.  And each day of abstinence offers us the chance to look ahead with hope.

A power greater than ourselves helped us to find this program. That power is ever with us. When we fear facing new situations, or when familiar situations turn sour, we can look to that power for help in saying what needs to be said and for doing what needs to be done. Our higher power is as close as our breath. Conscious awareness of it's presence strengthens us, moment by moment.

Enjoy your new year to come, enjoy your life, enjoy your day.
Written by Sherrie Vitello

Parents and The Addict-Child

Parents blame themselves alot of the time when their child has been found out to be using drugs or alcohol. We wonder 'what did we do wrong?'...'didn't we love our child enough?'...'was it the way I lived my life?' Sometimes this can cause a parent so much stress that they begin using just to keep the guilt away.  Of course, that's not the normal reaction, but it does happen. A parent can begin to feel affraid of their own child. But with diligence, honesty, and reaching out for help, a parent can find ways to help their child.

Often when a child is using they isolate themselves, they withdraw from family. From friends who don't use. They begin to lie to their parents. They can even steal from family members, friends, from work, even from strangers. An addict does these things because the greatest fear an addict has is not being able to feed their addiction. Don't get me wrong not all addicts steal, but there is a majority that do things that they would never do when clean and sober. It can become a nightmare for both addict and the parents.

As the addict-child begins sinking into their down fall of addiction, they may overdose themselves, they have seen friends overdose or maybe even die. They begin to justify why they use. The addict-child will convince themselves that they cannot live without their drug of choice. They convince themselves that their addiction makes their lives feel right. But that's just the addiction taking over. The addicts family feels powerless as well. Eventually the addict will lose everything, they could even get arrested, or end up in the hospital. Hitting bottom is the term for this.

What can a parent do?  It's not an easy ride, that's for sure. Once a parent is sure that their child is using, onething a parent can do is NOT become an enabler. Seek help for dealing with addictions that can be utilized and can help a parent cope and deal with this problem. Their are many resources in our communities that can assist in getting your child back on the right track. But be honest about this to yourself, the child, now an addict will probably go kicking and screaming. It may even take several attempts before the addict-child will see the light. But be diligent, don't give up. Their addiction is usually the addict-childs only way of crying out for help.
Note: These resolves can also help adult-addicts get the help they need.

Written by: Sherrie Vitello

BEST High?....really?

When I watched this video, it bought me to tears. Not only did it remind me of how I almost lost my life and my daughters life, I was overwhelmed by the thought that so many others will walk this path unless they learn that it DOES get out of control, you CAN'T keep being a functioning addict, you will LOSE everything that is truly important to you.

For those of you addicted, be it heroin, opiates, meth, xanax, alcohol whatever, STOP and take a really good look at what you're doing to yourself. Know that you can't stay "feelin-right" high forever. It does catch up to you either through, overdosing, getting arrested, losing all your possesions and living on the street. Is that really your ideal lifestyle?......So do something about it NOW!

Ask for help if you're too affaid to start the cycle of getting clean and sober. Check into a Detox Center in your area, alot of them will not charge you. The help is there. If it takes you 3 or 4 times to get it right, then keep trying until you get it right. You can live without the addiction, you can have a better, more productive happier life. The choice is yours, don't use the crutch statement "I have a disease" for addicts, it's a conditioning addiction that you started and you can stop it too.

Don't Compromise Yourself...You Are All You Got!

When we don't know who we are, it's easy to compromise ourselves. When we don't know where we stand on an issue, it's easy to be swayed by a forceful voice. Values may be cloudy in our minds, or we may not be aware of them at all. It's then that we are vulnerable to the persuasion of another.

We are supported in our efforts, and we realize we have friends who don't want us to compromise ourselves-who value our struggle to know and to be true to ourselves. One of lives greatest gifts is discovering we can make decisions that represent us, our inner selves, and those decisions please us.

We all are familiar with the tiny tug of shame that locates itself in our solar plexus. When we "go along" when we give in on a personally important issue, we pay a consequence. We lose a bit of ourselves. Over the years we've lost many bits.  However...we always have a choice.

The Holidays are Among Us

Well everyone the holidays are upon us once again. This year just flew by didn't it?  With the holidays comes some temptations and triggers for alot of us. That eggnog sure looks goods. Party times are everywhere. For those who are working on staying clean and not falling for temptation to our addictions, this post is for you.

At work, with friends, with family...there are moments when we question our sobriety. We may even go as far as to think, "it's the holidays...it's only once a year, why not?"...or sure having "one" drink isn't bad. Even to think, smoking alittle tainted weed won't hurt. Some of us might even be tempted by some friends that will say; "Come on...it's just one line."  Friends we really shouldn't be around in the first place, but sometimes it happens.

This is where everything you know about staying clean/sober will come into action. Whatever you do...don't give into temptation. Don't be fooled by the thought of; "it's only once a year."  What happens when we do fall from grace of sobriety is the "domino effect."  Not to say that some folks can't say "No thanks!" to the occassional invitation to use.   

But for those who are tempted or think about using, you must be strong!  Just as a giant snowball starts out very small, so does our relapse. So have a soda or seltzer with lime, walk away from those who are using drugs at that party. Of course if you do relapse...that doesn't mean you have to stop your recovery all together. You may feel guilty about relapsing but don't fret...you can always reclaim your sobriety again.

Of course that doesn't mean it's ok for you to use once in awhile...it isn't.  The whole concept of getting clean/sober and staying that way is the resolve you want from your recovery. Alot of the time we relapse due to the influences around us. So you might want to consider who you are associated with. In recovery it's wise to stop associating with certain people because they become toxic to our recovery. I call these people 'toxic-friends'. 

Remember...a true friend  would understand that you are cleaning up your act and they won't try to influence you to use. A  true friend   won't use drugs or alcohol when they come around you. You might want to keep that in mind when you are around people you consider friends that are not clean or sober. Of course we as addicts will find ourselves thinking, "Gee...I need a drink to have a good time."  I struggle with this one all the time.

But once you realize that this in only the addiction talking, it helps to get rid of the craving. Get yourself a non alcoholic drink and just let that feeling go, get into the activity or create one. This way you won't have time to just sit there and think about getting high. Have a wonderful holiday everyone!

Enjoy the day.  :)

Written by; Sherrie Vitello

A Wonderful Quote from Celeste Vitello, Author of the Book: Through This Addicts Eyes. " When the pain of getting high is greater than the fear of getting clean, it's time to change."

Keep It Simple

All too ofter, we complicate our lives. We can wonder and worry our way into confusion, obsession or preoccupation, it's called, "what if?"  "should I?"  "what do you think?"  We seldom stop trying to figure out what to do, where to do it, how to meet a challenge, until someone reminds us to "keep it simple."  What we each discover, again and again, is that the solution to any problem becomes apparent when we stop searching for it. The guidance we need for handling any difficulty, great or small, can only come into focus when we remove the barriers to it, and the greatest barrier is our frantic effort to personally solve the problem.

We clutter our minds, we pray for an answer and yet don't become quiet enough, for long enough, to become aware of the direction to go, or the steps to take. And they are always there. Inherent in every problem or challange is its solution. Our greatest lesson in life may be to "keep it simple", to that no problem stands in our way because no solution eludes a quiet, expectant mind.

I have opportunities every day to still my mind, and the messages I need will come quietly. My answers are within me, now.

Quote by; Alice Roosevelt Longworth: "I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

Written by: Sherrie Vitello. Excerpts written by:  Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey